Here's another update guys. Thanks to the three (I think) people who reviewed. PLEASE Let me know what you guys think and if you're still reading. Your reviews make me want to write more!

Enjoy!

-Jen

I entered my room, and fell back onto my bed. "You're so stupid, Miley." I whispered, turning on my side to look at my night table. On it rested a framed picture of Oliver, Lilly, and I. Oliver in the middle of Lilly and I. He and Lilly were close together, she was turned towards him. I was thrown in on the end, a third wheel. "How could he ever love you?"

It was four in the afternoon, and I'd just returned from another day where I was the third wheel. We'd gone to the mall, and in a store, when Lilly had been off somewhere, Oliver had begun to say, "I love," And I'd waited with bated breath. But then, Lilly came back and Oliver finished with, "That shirt over there," not "You."

I lay in bed alone for the next several hours, watching random stuff on TV. Jackson and my father eventually left with their girlfriends, leaving me alone. Again.

Eventually, I wandered downstairs for food.

It was when I was sitting on the couch, watching MTV and eating popcorn that Oliver appeared at my front door, knocking on the glass.

I waved him in, and he entered the house, looking nervous but strangely confident.

"Hey," He said, sitting beside me.

"Hi. Where's Lil?"

"Visiting her dad, remember?"

"Oh yea," I said. I'd forgotten.

"Miley..." He said, and I turned to him, only to be shocked. Instead of speaking, he simply presses his lips to mine.

I know it's wrong. I know he's my best friend's boyfriend. I know that I shouldn't be doing this. I try to pull away, but he puts a hand on either side of my face, pushing his lips to mine harder, and I'm unable to stop. The way he's kissing me is something I've never felt before. The chemistry between us is indescribable, so there, so big, it can't be ignored.

When he finally stops, I sit there, trying to catch my breath. And then, I'm silent for a moment, trying to figure out what to say. "What was that for?" I settle on whispering.

"I love you, Miley," He says softly, moving in to kiss me again.

This time, though, I'm ready. I grab his hands before he can touch me, and back away, shaking my head. "You're with Lilly. This is wrong, Oliver. So wrong. You need to leave."

"You feel the same way, Miley. I know you do," He says. "Everyone does. And you don't want me to leave. Not really. Right?"

I say nothing, knowing if I did deny it, I'd be lying, but knowing at the same time that I couldn't admit it.

Before I register it, he is on top of me, straddling me. He grabs my hands in his, securing them against the back of the couch as he kisses me again. He's so good at this, I wonder how Lilly keeps herself from kissing him all the time. I don't want to do anything else but kiss him. This time, I kiss him back.

Ad the minutes tick by, more happens. He starts kissing my neck, he slides his hands under my shirt, and almost easily unclasps my bra underneath it, sliding his hands over my breasts.

Before I know it, he is carrying me upstairs, stripping me of my shirt.

It's then that I come out of my trance. "Oliver," I yell, "We can't do this, I won't do this, it's so wrong! What about Lilly?"

"I don't love her like I love you, Miley." He whispered, hovering over my as I lay on my bed. "I love you so much more."

"Then break up with her," I say. At least then I won't be the other woman. I won't be the best friend sleeping with her boyfriend.

"I can't hurt her like that, Miley," He shakes his head, "That'd break her heart. I can't do that now."

"You think this won't break her heart?" I challenge.

"She doesn't have to know," He whispers. "She'll never know, Miley," he whispers, kissing at my neck. "You want this. You do, I know you do."

He's right, in a way. I do what this. I want him to love me, I want him to hold and and kiss me, I want to be the one he loves. But I don't want it like this. I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be the one to break Lilly's heart. I don't want my life to be full of more secrets and lies.

"Come on, Miley," He whispers. "I just want to love you...why is that so wrong?"

I shudder beneath him, and then give a slow, nervous nod.

I wake with a start, beads of cold sweat covering my body. I look at the clock, and see I still have two hours before Oliver's supposed to get here.

I decide to take a nice back, and after I sit in the warm tub, jacuzzi jets on, and apple scented bubble bath around me, I let myself think.

It'd been years since I relived that first time in my dreams.

That night was what started it all. It started years of lying, sneaking around. Years of him promising to tell her, but never coming through. Years of promising me we'd be together eventually like a normal couple, but never keeping the promise. Years of stolen kisses, heated moments, keeping a secret so big, it filled me with guilt and tears every single day.

Years of me telling myself it was going to stop, of promising myself I would end it...but always backing down. He did this to me. He made this mess.

But I was the one who let it happen.

I never wanted this to happen. Not by a long shot. I never wanted to do this to Lilly. I never wanted to do this to myself.

In reality, Oliver took everything from me. He has my virginity. He takes away my ability to say no. He takes away every ounce of will I have. But I can't do that anymore.

A long time has passed when I finally get out of the bath. Just enough time for me to dry off, put clothes (undergarments and sweats) on, put on a little makeup, and put my wet hair in a messy bun.

I make it downstairs just as the bell rings, and I open it up. He walks in casually, a friend visiting a friend, but moves in right when the door shuts, his lips heading for mine. I stop him though, putting my hands on his chest pushing him away.

"Oliver wait." I whisper.

For once, he actually listens, noticing the urgency to my voice.

"What?" He asks. I go to open my mouth to talk, but he holds up a finger. "Wait, we'll be much more comfortable upstairs." He grabs my hand, and heads for the stairs, leaving me no choice but to follow him.

When we reach the top of the stairs, I lead the way to my bedroom, and I sit on my made bed, gesturing for him to sit. He sits beside me on the other side, on the side that would be his in another life. A life where we'd done this right, and we were a married couple, experiencing our first pregnancy. Another "what if you'd done things the normal way" moment.

"We need to talk." I finally get the chance to say.

"About what?" He asks.

"About where we stand, about what's going to happen...about how...this has to stop, Oliver." I whisper.

"Miley," He whispers, his voice saw raw, holding so much emotion. "Please..."

"No, you please!" I cry out. I won't let him pull that with me. "I don't wanna hear about how you need me, how you need this! This may be your perfect life, but it sure as hell is not mine! This is killing me Oliver! Killing me! And my life isn't just about me anymore!" I shouted, hands falling to my belly. "What we've been doing made it about so much more than that." He said nothing, and so I went on. "You know what we've been doing! You've known the risks! You've known that this has been causing me so much grief, Oliver, but you don't care! All you've been doing for the past six years is taking advantage of me and hurting me!" I paused to inhale and exhale deeply. "You knew," I said softly, finally looking up at him, right in the eye. "You knew how I felt. You know that I was so in love with you, that you could get me to do any fucking thing you wanted."

He looked away. "I never meant to hurt you."

Before I knew what I was doing, my hand stuck him across the face. "LIKE HELL!" I shouted, so angry. "All you've been doing for six years is seeing how much you could push to get what you want! You knew how I felt, you knew I wanted to be with you, and all you've given me was heartache, misery, pain, and a pregnancy. Oh, and don't let me forget broken promises." I snapped.

"What broken promises?" He exclaimed.

"Every time you told me you'd leave Lilly, every time you told me we'd be together..." I trailed off, my heart breaking more as I said the last one. "Every time you told me you loved me."

"Miley, I do love you!" He exclaimed, grabbing my hand, "I love you so much...but...it's not that simple." He said, looking down. I shut my eyes, looking away. I felt his hand on my face, gently turning me back to him, his forehead pressed against mine. "I love you more than anything...but things...you just don't understand."

"I understand. I understand that all you can do is tell me more lies. I also understand that you don't really love me, because when you really love someone, you're willing to do anything! You're willing to do anything, no matter what the consequences. And you've never been willing to do that for me." I whispered.

After nothing but silence followed for at least a minute, I said, "Exactly."

"Miley-"

I cut him off, "Stop!" I said sharply. "I'm done listening to you right now Oliver. I don't want to hear it anymore. I just want to curl up in my bed with a big bowl of Oreo ice cream, my television playing, and my book. Right now, I'm just...done. I'm better then the hell you've been putting me through. I deserve better. Lilly deserves better. And most importantly, my children deserve better. They deserve the best, the absolute best, and I won't let this bring them down. They don't deserve to have me for a mother, they deserve better. But I'm what they get, so I'm sure as hell going to give them the best me I can. And that...doesn't include you and me doing this. I already screwed them over, giving them your stupid DNA. Don't want to pull them down anymore." I said forcefully.

I saw anger flash across his face, his fists clench, eyes burning.

"Just get out. I don't want to see you anymore right now." I said. "Please, Oliver. You owe me...you owe me that much. Just leave. Don't make me call the police."

He stood there, staring at me for the longest moment. I almost thought he was going to hit me, go into a rage. But instead, he began to walk for the door. He got to the door of my room, and then turned around. He walked back to me quickly, lightly placing his hands on my face. Before I could stop him, he pressed the gentlest kiss I'd ever gotten from him on my lips, and then hurried back to the door, leaving without another word.

I waited until I heard the door shut behind him downstairs, until I heard his car start and pull away from my home. I walked downstairs slowly, shut and locked the door, and went to my kitchen.

I considered getting a bowl, but I just grabbed the gallon of ice cream from the freezer, along with the can of whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, and a spoon, before going upstairs. I stripped out of all my clothes except my panties, and pulled an extra large t-shirt over my head to wear as a night gown, more comfortable in loose clothing nowadays.

I then grabbed my television remote, crawled into my bed, and turned on the television to ABC Family, where they were playing a marathon of the old television show I used to watch as a teenager, Pretty Little Liars.

Then I grabbed my ice cream and the fixings, and began to eat. I felt proud of myself. Relieved. Like a weight was lifted.

I made it through half of the carton, and a third of an episode before I broke down into tears.