I do not own Vash the Stampede, Rem Saverem, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Milly Thompson, Meryl Stryfe, etc: they all belong to the incomparable Mr. Yasuhiro Nightow.

It occurs to me that Vash -might- compose letters in his mind as the way that he re-examines his day, unwinds, and learns any lessons he can from it.

This is an attempt to blend the tales in both manga and anime. Anywhere there is contradicting information, the manga's will be used. I use manga dates where they are given. Where dates are not given, I'm using my best guesstimate.

As the various "Unwritten Letters" accumulate, there will be more and more spoilers.

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Scars

Year 110, month 7, day 20

Dear Rem,

I think today's lesson is that I should lock my hotel room's door.

I was embarrassed today.

Those young insurance girls, those children, they walked into my hotel room without knocking. I'd been washing my hair, so I was only wearing pants and underwear. I didn't have anything on above my waist, except the towel that I was using to dry my hair.

So they saw my scars. Not all of them, since my pants cover some, but enough.

I know that I blushed terribly, because I could feel the heat in my face.

I was surprised that they didn't run away immediately. Their young faces didn't seem to show disgust either, which was the other thing I would have expected. I was so surprised! I hardly knew what to say or do.

Milly, the sweet one, said she hadn't known my left arm was a prosthetic. She seemed almost relieved by that. She said she'd been worried about me.

Meryl, the spunky one, also said I'd worried her. She thought I should give up my gun and run away to live quietly somewhere.

I told her I couldn't do that. Reminded of my duty, and remembering what he has done, briefly made me angry… not at them, but at him. I tried to explain, without getting detailed, but ... I was still so embarrassed, and so shocked. My words probably didn't come out quite right.

Their earlier words were still rattling around in my head and my heart. Those kind-hearted children both said they were worried about me... me, the monster gunman that everybody hates. I'm the freak, the madman, the one who may be responsible for the destruction of the city of July. The "localized natural disaster" who's such a danger to everyone that they must keep watch on me to prevent me from doing harm. They think they're worried about ... me?

I'm still not sure if I really believe it. Their faces looked very sincere when they said those words. I think, at least, that they believed what they had said.

I've been alone for so long. I don't really know what to do when someone doesn't leave me at the earliest opportunity. I feel especially lost around these two young girls, at times. I don't want to burden them with my troubles.

I need to leave town, and I hope that they won't follow me anymore. If they try, I need to get away from them by whatever means proves necessary. I don't want to risk their young lives any more than I already have.

They were kind enough to worry about me. If I grow any fonder of them, he may sense it and target them specifically. For their sakes, and perhaps a little for my own, I must get away from them.

And I must do it quickly, even though it tears the heart right out of me.

I pray I will have the courage and strength to do what must be done.

I miss you, Rem. This might not hurt so much if you were still out there, somewhere, loving me. I shall never stop loving you, even if all I have are memories of you.

- Vash "the Stampede"

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Author's note: This is a place where the chronology of the anime differs from the sequence in which things appear in the manga. As stated previously, I'm trying to blend the two, but will favor the manga when there's a conflict. I'll get to those other anime episodes after the manga introduces Wolfwood. :)