Garfield's Creed III episode 10 – Assault!
It was the finale night before the attack on enema Abstergo base and Garfield was readying himself for action by performing sit-ups on a chin-up bar while the Rocky IV training montage song played on boombox stereo.
"This is the music of the emotions of my warrior spirit and the theme of my victory!" Said Garfield with inspirations self-talk as he did vaulting backflip onto karate bricks smashing them into dust with his feet.
Next Garfield performed crunches and leg lifts with Elise in such loving vigor that he loved her to oblivion.
"There is no exercise more taxing and rewarding than the gaming of love." Commented Garfield as he tucked Elise in comfortable bed and gave her smoochings all over.
Garfield then rewarded himself with a swig of hard, muscle-building whiskey of men before furthering his abdominal strength with one-finger push-ups. In front of Garfield was large dish of lasagna that he ate out of every time he went down fueling his veins with the lifeblood of fresh lasagna.
Finally Garfield finished his workout by sparring with captured Abstergo prisoners unarmed in deathmatch. Equipped with deadliest of weaponry the Abstergo prisoners went at Garfield with flailing but were no match for the mastery of Garfield in combat as he slew them all.
"That was invigorating work-out session but now it is time to kickback and relax." Said Garfield admiring full moon in lasagna phase of Lunar cycle as he walked out onto his villa balcony and filled up the Jacuzzi.
As Garfield was relaxing in his bubbly Jacuzzi bath drinking Lasagna cocktail Rebecca Lucy and Bishop walked out in skimpy bikinis.
"Hello my fresh choice chickees." Said Garfield with suave greeting as he leaned back against edge of Jacuzzi. "Have you come to join the festivities?"
"How can you think of partying prelude to great war to come?" Asked Bishop with incredluations.
"Garfield we are worried for tomorrow you attack greatest enemy any of us have ever know!" Said Rebecca with feminine worry.
"Yes Garfield Abstergo is indeed nefarious in their evil! Do you fear not their might?" Added Lucy with much concern.
Garfield only chuckled with great amusement at their fright as he finished his Lasagna cocktail and then tossed it aside.
"Come to me my spicy chicken tenders." Said Garfield with astute flirtatious manner and open arms. "I will show you how I reach my battlefield zen by mixing business and pleasure."
"We do not know about this!" Said Rebecca with apprehensions. "What if the water is too hot?"
"There is no nirvana to be attained if you do not take leap of faith!" Said Garfield with the motivating sternness of knowledged Shaolin master as the girls lingered at waters edge afraid to dip toes in.
"Yes pleasure us to infinite nirvana!" Screamed the three ladies as they ripped off their bodies revealing slippery body forms that glistened in sparkling reflection of Jacuzzi bubbles before leaping in.
Garfield then snapped his fingers and instantly PAWS soldiers were out on deck setting up scene for evening of hardcore loving. Soldiers rolled out airline luggage lines worth of lasagna for feasting while Black Sabbath arrived to play live music to set scene of sexiness and other soldiers decorated for authentic romance by placing real Da Vinci paintings all over.
"Now ladies let the fun and games begin!" Said Garfield as he dove underwater and from beneath yanked the sexy ladies underneath and wrapped all over them like the kraken of mojo.
First Garfield tangled up the ladies as they ripped and pulled at each other's hair in lovemaking game of passion and then with tongues and legs wide apart and hips bending over they stimulated many pleasures from each other.
"Ooh Garfield your might is greater than that of an exploding sun!" Said Bishop as Garfield mightily spanked her bums until they had grown purple with arousal bruises.
"Let me be your love toy!" Screamed Lucy as Garfield rolled loose his ding ding dong and slid around her Grand Canyon like roaring rapids.
"Ha ha ha Garfield more more more!" Cried Rebecca in the midnight hour with spirited yell as Garfield prodded her in and out through skin flesh and bone.
"YES GARFIELD EAT ME OF ALL PRETENSIONS!" Begged Lucy and Garfield proceeded to take her by the legs and like turning juicy calzone inside out as fillings were lapped up tenderly he leaned in and Garfield proceeded to partake in great feastings.
For hours underwater Garfield make intense lovings to the three women as they clambered all over him with their fine naked bodies and he clamped them like alligator with prey with his vise-grip thighs. With the fiery passion of a shooting star Garfield romanced them with such heated penetration the temperature of lovemaking evaporated all water in the Jacuzzi. Then Garfield lined up the three in row like centipede and as he took one final stab forward he gored them with such free loving he blew out the lights and caused nationwide blackout.
The next morning as the sun rose and Garfield finished his latest warm-up exercise and was enjoying a lasagna-sprinkled donut and coffee, he saw that the three women were still nude and at bottom of his Jacuzzi. He noticed that the strength of his loving had put them into love coma where they would continue to experience the pleasures of his lovemaking until they woke up.
With silent smile at his pleasuring prowess Garfield put on his all-black longcoat and shades before loading his Desert Eagles as he boarded his Lasagna Falcon fighter plane to fly towards the future.
Meanwhile at Abstergo Headquarters on Abstergo Island Dr. Warren Vidic and other chairmen of Abstergo were making evil plans of world domination when suddenly burst in Melanie Lemay with urgent messages.
"Oh no my fellow Abstergoes Garfield has acquired the Lasagna of Eden we are all doomed!" Said Melanie Lemay with panic.
"WHAT?" Said Dr. Warren Vidic with indignannces. "How can this be? We have expertly designed all side content to distract Garfield from completion of main quest!"
"Dr. Warren Vidic let me handle this catproblem like bloodhound!" Said Daniel Cross as he finished applying eyeliner and trying on bras to compound his angst and issues.
"Yes this most certainly shall be the solution to our Garfield problem!" Laughed Dr. Warren Vidic regaining all his evil confidences of victory.
But then in next minute of evil plotting their wicked aura was rocked by sudden sound of explosions from outside followed up by the rock and rolling tunes of Iron Maiden's "Aces High" as Garfield arrived blowing out all outside defenses with Stinger missiles from his fighter jet.
"Oh no GARFIELD!" Screamed all of the evil Abstergo scientists and soldiers as they began scurrying like rats of cowardice.
Anti-plane guns began firing missiles at Garfield's fighter jet but with expertise Garfield adeptly dodged them all and led the missiles right back to the source causing more great explosions and fatalities.
"Open up specially marked boxes of Garfield to find a free toy of DEATH iinside!" Quipped Garfield as he ejected from his fighter jet and unleashed the full wrath of his Desert Eagles upon incoming Abstergo guards.
Garfield then kicked a hole in the wall with intents of finding Dr. Warren Vidic when Daniel Cross rushed in.
"Stop right there Garfield it is time to dine in hell!" Said Daniel Cross to the tunes of his favorite song Madonnas "Material Girl" while smearing on Battle Mascara.
Daniel Cross and Garfield rushed around the room firing at each other with their guns with their bullets colliding in mid-air and littering the ground with empty casings.
"Be sure to reserve a table for me when you arrive!" Said Garfield as he did side-kick to the pressure point of Daniel Cross paralyzing him before shoving him into nearby woodchipper.
Garfield continued down long corridor killing all scientists and guards that he came across when he came across Melanie Lemay.
Melanie Lemay fell to her knees before groveling. "Oh Garfield you would not hurt a women would you?"
"When you see one let her know I will not!" Said Garfield backhanding Melanie Lemay to reveal that she was actually Aiden Pearce in drag!
"Aiee!" Screamed Aiden Pearce as his fake breasts fell off. "My brilliant disguise has been ruined!"
"And that is not the only thing!" Said Garfield as he grabbed Aiden Pearce by the head and then twisted his neck with satisfying snap crackle and pop.
At last Garfield came to Animus Testing room where he sensed the greatest concentration of evil in whole of Abstergo base. Garfield then pressed ear to door knob to peep in on conversations of wicked sin.
"After all this time and preparation how have you not destroyed the Garfield?" Sneered Shadow Garfield with much contempt.
"Please Shadow Master understand us Garfield is like no foe we have ever faced before!" Said Dr. Warren Vidic with excuses.
"LIES! GARFIELD IS BUT A MAN AND HE SHALL DIE LIKE ONE WHEN UP AGAINST I A GOD!" Said Shadow Garfield with hate. "You Dr. Warren Vidic are nothing but an absolute failure in long line!"
Garfield then casually walked in by kicking the doors wide open, cracking his knuckles as his eyes glowed bright with the searing cry of thundering justice.
"NO GARFIELD GET BACK!" Screamed Dr. Warren Vidic as he backed away but tripped rendering himself helpless as he snapped both his ankles.
"Hello Dr. Warren Vidic I told you that you would be buying me a new TV." Said Garfield as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the bill for his new TV.
"Please do anything you want to me Garfield just let me have last luxury meal of lobsters and caviar!" Begged Dr. Warren Vidic with crying surrender and gluttony as he paid the bill.
"CHEW ON THIS!" Said Garfield with fatalities as he shoved the acid-inked bill into Dr. Warren Vidic's mouth. With gurgling choking scream Dr. Warren Vidic's saliva activated the acid which started burning his entire digestive system.
Dr. Warren Vidic melted to dead green puddle on floor and Garfield turned to face Shadow Garfield at long last for final battle.
"You may have won this battle Garfield but I shall win the war!" Pledged Shadow Garfield as he threw down smoke bomb and disappeared to coward wound licking cave.
"Garfield what has happened here?" Asked Obama the President as he joined Garfield in room with the rest of his army.
"We have finally won Mister President. America has been saved from the treachery of Abstergo!" Announced Garfield as he set fires to the last of Abstergos files and research forever wiping them from face of civilized world.
"But what about Shadow Garfield Garfield? He has escaped to fight another day!" Jon Arbuckle said with great concerns as he wiped Abstergo guard's blood off of his gunslinger vest.
"Let him rot in his place of security until he grows back the false manliness to dare come and face me again." Garfield said with little concern. "For as long as there is evil that conspires against the great Nation of America, I shall be there to stop them. And next time, there will be no escape for there is only Garfield!"
Everyone applaused with much approval of Garfield's endless resolve to dedication of justice.
"And now…" Said Garfield with anticipations of announcement. "It is time to throw party across time!
With that said everyone walked off into the sunset with content in their hearts for they knew that the war had been won and there were no more battles to be fought. The time for fighting had ended and the time of great lasagna feasting and romancing had begun as Garfield sent out party invitations throughout time to reunite all who had helped him in his quest to save America. And without a doubt when the party began nothing could go wrong.
To be continued…