A/N:Guess who's coming back, none other than that amazing duo of Sakura and Sasuke, loved by fans alike and hated by the dastardly, evil haters who don't want the harsh winds of justice and truth to blow on their parade and knock their little, tiny houses down! Today Sakura and Sasuke have to deal with shit that happens to them! Doesn't it always, as Sasuke likes to say? As usual, note that this has little to do with the main Naruto plot. We can just say it takes place in a weird alternate universe.
Chapter 10 Mr Bear's return, part 1
Ah, Konoha, a peaceful place where nothing bad ever happens. We all know that to be the complete and honest truth, don't we? But, however this happens, Sakura and Sasuke will deal with everything weird that lands their way. Much like a pair of two of the best demon hunting brothers imaginable who just so happen to be named after an ancient and powerful rifle-
"Excuse me, back to the main plot, please!" A demanding voice commanded, a very whiny-er, great and powerful voice. No one dares disobey Queen Sakura, or else.
"Man, you even have the narrator sucking up to you, that's not good," Izaya said, in annoyance, glaring at said pinkette, who just rolled her eyes.
"I'm the pinnacle of innocence, you know, and those who hate me are just jealous!" Sakura chirped.
"Sure you are," Shizuo grunted, "And that means Izaya's the nicest guy on the planet."
"Hey, it's true~I love all humans on the planet!" Izaya chirped, failing to see his own flaws.
"Well, Sasuke, shall we get started?" A new voice chirped. Everyone turned around to see a figure standing-er, floating there.
"Oh no, Mr. Bear!" Sakura said, in terror. "What are we gonna do?"
"Nothing," Sasuke said, in sheer annoyance. "Why are you back, Mr. Bear?"
Mr. Bear looked at them all and then said, "You know, I have a gift for you all. I just spent some money buying an indie horror game that you can spend five nights playing...it's so fun and there's a bear in there like me-"
At this moment, Sasuke had had enough and picked up Mr. Bear and flung him across the room and then out into the sea, where he disappeared beneath the waves and then resurfaced a moment later, full of seaweed and junk.
"Dammit, even the sharks don't want to eat me! Do they hate me as well?"
"As a matter of fact, the answer is yes," A random shark said, looking at them in annoyance, before it dove back down into the Konoha swimming pool and its fin rose around ominously.
"Oh, great, just what we need, sharks in the already ominous swimming pool," Sasuke remarked.
"Yeah, this is feeling more and more like some cheesy horror movie." Duo remarked, "And isn't Halloween approaching soon? Maybe that's why everyone's actin' kinda crazy."
Sakura's face lit up. "Hey, I got some candy corn and candy pumpkins if anyone wants any!" She chirped, holding up the pieces so everyone could see them.
No one wanted any, much to Sakura's disappointment. "Hey, you're missing out! Did you know that a person called me a prick, even though I'm a girl, for not sharing candy with them, when they'd already had like five pieces?"
Sasuke looked at her for a few moments. "You're either the most selfish person I know or the most selfless. Heaven help the person who wanted more than five pieces of candy. I hate sweets."
"You like the fish candy!" She protested.
"True, but that's about it," Sasuke said, "You're the only one I know with an extremely high tolerance for sweets," He made a choking sound and Sakura smacked him hard.
Mr. Bear reappeared, and snatched the bag of candy out of Sakura's hands. "If you want it back, follow me!"
"Do you think we're stupid?" Izaya snapped, but Shizuo and Sakura had already gone after them. The Gundam boys shook their heads.
"Why'd we have to get mixed up with crazy weirdoes like you?" Wufei muttered.
"Who knows why?" Trowa said.
"Let's all remain positive," Quatre said.
"Okay, we're definitely going to die. That's a positive!" Duo snapped.
"That's not what I meant," Quatre said darkly, smacking his forehead.
"Let's go find Sakura!" Sasuke said.
"Prodigious, batman!" Izaya remarked sarcastically. "We're all going to die, don't you get it?"
"Exactly," Heero said in annoyance.
"Holy corn on a cob, Sasuke! There's no one here! It looks like Sakura's been kidnapped!" Izaya snarked.
There was a small note on the ground. When picked up, it reads:
'I have abducted Sakura for the price of several...erm, candy corns and pumpkins. If you want her back, you'd best follow my instructions, that goes for you, Izaya and Shizuo. I know what you two are capable of and have made the necessary arrangements to deal with you when the time comes. Also, um, I did this because I was bored, so please forgive me for any loss of life or injuries that may come about from handling my dangerous pets. They like to bite and they're quite cute and cuddly. Get what I mean?'-Ino.
"Not Ino again!" Sasuke groaned. "I thought we knocked her out with your stop sign!"
"I thought so as well! Then I'll just have to beat the shit out of her!" Shizuo said, pounding his fists together in excitement.