A/N: Thank you for your patience everyone! Here, finally, is the true chapter eight… I almost cannot believe there are so many people reading my story and waiting for it with alerts and everything, I am honored and delighted! I am terribly sorry it has taken me this long to bring this to you... many things have been going on in my life. Please be kind and Review, lets try and reach 150 and I'll give you your next chapter. A promise I can keep.

Memoirs of Her Scent

Previously;

"Welcome home, Jasper, we've missed you."

Then, I almost sobbed again as I relished on the feeling of her unconditional, welcoming love and buried my face in her soft caramel locks, enveloping myself in Esme's embrace. Esme still wanted me here, even after what I had done and almost done. The thought would have brought tears to my eyes had I been human, and I let her know as much, my emotions embroiling onto her with a feather's caress.

"I will always want you home, never doubt that, Jasper, my son. And never doubt that your family love's you, for this is where you belong," Esme whispered for only my ears to hear as she placed a feathery kiss there too. Gratitude and relieve washed over me in tidal waves. "With us, always."

I was Home.

Ch8: Day for Atonement

I sat in the quiet, contemplating that which cannot be contemplated by mortal eyes or mind, that which cannot be fathomed by mere reasoning. Listening as the wind and its dancing leaves would rustle pass me, casting their spell upon the soon arrival of twilight, and over me.

The tantalizing love-sweet scented caress with which the experienced fingers of the wind made the grass swoon had me spellbound. As I watched their multifaceted dancing, unfolding before me, I left my mind to wander deeper into the cobwebs that I rarely managed to explore within my thoughts, managing to put aside emotions temporarily. With tremors fear I unraveled within the thoughts of two days ago…

"The outcome will still be the same, Jasper. There's no getting around it and you know it." The words dancing behind my lips rolled out like a well known mantra, only, in the form of a desolated sigh; due to the many times I had been repeating them. "And no matter what she says, she most hate you by now. …Bella, I'm so, so sorry..." Every single time I saw that memory. The fear in Bella's eyes stared at me, mocking my tormented mind and me as I visualized, for the hundredth time, what could have been and had not been. More than even I would have thought possible, the mere thought haunted me, and the idea that she might actually hate me, mattered.

Yet another follow-up sigh, "Talking to myself cannot be healthy." With that outspoken thought interrupting the rhythm of the wind, I shifted my position on the branch I found myself sited upon, humans, after all, never stayed in the same position longer than five minutes –force of habit by now. Years of observation had shown me that. I had appearances to keep on, even in the heart of the woods I momentarily inhabited; as Carlisle used to tell us, one never knows what one may encounter out there. Taking us as examples.

I was 'alone' and running away from my circumstances, avoiding eye contact, or any form of communication for that matter. Unknowingly it had reached this point. How long had it been since I last directed a few sensible words to my family, to Edward… to my Alice?

The silent mention of my wife's name sent my thoughts into havoc as I flinched away from it, there was no reason for my avoiding her, my all understanding goddess. So, why? I did not want to think about it and yet, today, it seemed, I was doing everything that contradicted my very wishes, with a force that I was becoming no match for. It seemed inevitable, that I would run full force into that which I wanted to run away from; my thoughts of Alice.

If anything, she should be the one I needed to talk to the most. She would be the one to know how to steal my pain away. Was she not? Still, for some reason, I found myself running away from her stare, away from her love, and away from everything that I have known –reason.

The mood that the ambient around me provided was one of ecstasy and intimacy, where earth and water's dew united under earth's skirts with sweet whispers and caresses, luring me in with their scheming allure. Five minutes past and my body, of its own accord, as I make it seem, shifts itself as if to give off the vibe that my position, upon my branch, is one that has brought discomfort. In all reality, there is no such thing as physical discomfort for me, at least not when it does not involve emotions.

However, as it was, I was causing the branch I was perching myself on some discomfort. Keeping that in mind, I made an attempt to extract myself of my current location and position. I had overstayed my welcome and was already beginning to disturb the animals that had been peacefully loitering and grazing the grass at their feet.

As I dismounted my tree branch I heard a whisper of a voice carried by the wind reach me. Though slightly distorted by the rain's patter I was sure I recognized it. And if I wanted to be stubborn and pretend I did not then the scent that mingled in it would have forever, irrevocably done me in. Edward. My brother. Bad news, he was near. Good news, he was not near enough.

Half of my hemisphere was telling me to move on and go home, approach the situation with Alice, while the other half caught bits of the conversation that had fluttered to me via wind. What I had grasped from the conversation disturbed me greatly. I understood that a lie was being told and that lie was being believed, I did not know which was worse.

Now that I was looking at things more thoroughly I knew that I should have ran when I still had had the chance, when I had previously decided to do so. Edward was on the move and he was not alone; Bella was with him, I could smell her. My head lolled back as my lids closed over my eyes, enhancing her scent as my nose flared, watering my mouth, ready for a taste of–STOP!

You, Jasper, need to get a hold of yourself!

I need to run. I was telling myself to run and, yet, by some unknown force, stronger than I, that was keeping me rooted to the ground beneath my feet, I did nothing. I was immobile, like an ancient rock, against my wills. I knew that if I moved, even one muscle, my instinct would lead me on a hunt to search for the mouthwatering scent. My mind knew it, my body knew it, and so did my senses.

For a moment the wind blew swifter than it had moments ago and my eyes grew wide as the rampant scent of Bella's allure rampantly hit my. My fingers dogged themselves into the bark of my surrounding trees, in an attempt to keep me at bay. It was not working; the scent was too distracting and pierced through reason, tearing it apart. Her scent was strong but I opted to be stronger, I began to move in the direction that leads me away from them, away from Bella's scent.

Those had been my intentions, to stray away from the path to sure destruction. However, it seemed that my body had other intentions as soon as my ears had caught the tone in Edward's voice, he was about to let Bella down, he was about to break her and I could not have that. That was what I was telling myself as I began to run, following the trail of Edward's and Bella's scent as navigational connotation. I ran faster than I had ever run, with more lethality than I ever suspected I could have acquired in a lifetime of immortality, even.

My only thought being that I had to get to them before he said the words that would crush them both. Edward, always the martyr, was sure to follow through his plan, of that I was positive. And I could not have that. Still, I was late.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I had heard Edward say to Bella and the sound of her crumbling heart drummed through my ears and I stopped short on my steps as the accelerated beat alimented the dormant devil. I had failed, yet again, to stop someone from getting hurt, to protect Bella. The weight of this failure instantly sending me to my knees as my eyes sought the heavens.

My frame shook with rage and my fingers briefly sank into the soil and grass in an attempt to ground myself, so as not to do anything rash. A buzz rang in my ears, becoming steadily louder and louder as it grew nearer. A flash in the darkness that was just as bright to my eyes. My hand shot out reflectively, taking hold of what I suspected to be clothing material.

"Edward," I hissed, bearing my teeth as I did the only thing that came to mind, and slammed him against a tree that turned into trees as they caved under the strength of the impact.

"Jasper," Edward said, surprise evident in his tone and, could it be, a mingling tone of regret, shame, and disillusion. However, despite his tone, his face reflected defiance and my mind reacted to what I was seeing as my hand went from his collar to his neck and I began to crush his pipes.

"What the hell did you do, Edward?"

"I did what I had to. Told her what we had agreed to," Edward rasped through my tight grip, his hand griping my wrist and attempting to make sway me into loosening my grip.

"Were it not for the fact that you are my brother, it would pleasure me to kill you."

"Do it then, I wont stop you."

I glared at him and he stared right back, matching my resentment. "I hate you... doing this to her, I would have thought it unheard of, coming from you of all people." Disappointment sipped out of me, along with hate, which, to my surprise, made Edward look away from me, ashamed.

"Why do you even care?" Edward spat vehemently, glaring at me once more, his killing intent doubling. For a moment, a fraction of a moment, I was at a loss for words. Why did I care?

"Why do I care, you ask? Simple. I care, because she cared."