Secrets Kept

*Updated June 2014 – originally chapter 10, just tweaked a bit, not much of a difference.*

Well, this chapter is a bit different from the others, since Tracey and Gary are away from each other and out of Pallet for most of it, so I hope that this is a nice change of pace. It's also a longer chapter than usual, which I hope makes up for the delayed update. Sorry if it seems like the chapter skips around a bit!

Thanks very much to my reviewers, especially Defiant Vixen who never fails to so kindly review. : )

Chapter Nine

The day had finally come. Tracey was finally getting to go back home for an extended period of time – nearly a month this time. He wasn't entirely sure how he had managed to survive the two weeks that had passed between initially bringing up the idea of a vacation with Professor Oak and the actual day to leave, but he was happy that he had managed.

The past two weeks had been difficult. Gary's attitude had improved only slightly with the notion of leaving Pallet for a while; Tracey had hoped that this would give him some sort of a break from the general angst surrounding the boy but this had clearly been in vain. Though Gary had clearly made a conscious effort to avoid Tracey, he couldn't help but notice that Gary had withdrawn from his friends almost entirely and only seemed to hang out with them when absolutely forced to. This had been the cause of a great deal of alarm for May and it seemed as though her concern had worn off on the professor; Tracey, of course, couldn't help but worry about his friend and his strange behavior.

Unfortunately, any voiced concern seemed to irritate Gary immensely, to the point where he had vehemently declared in one outburst with both his grandfather and May that he was absolutely fine and didn't need to be "bothered by everyone, every second of every day about something that is a non-issue." Tracey had fought not to laugh at that particularly dramatic outburst – it was impossible for anyone, other than Gary himself, to annoy him at every second of every day. He had even pointed that out, quite reasonably and calmly, only to receive an absolute death glare from the other teenager.

That hadn't been the only memorable outburst. Another particularly memorable one had been when the professor traveled to the Indigo Plateau for a conference for a few days, something May took advantage of by throwing a party that had involved much alcohol. At some point during the party, one of Gary's friends had made a comment about him drinking so much in recent times; Darren had responded by muttering, obviously louder than he had intended, "you're turning into Wyatt," which only served to spark Gary's ire. Tracey doubted that Gary had even spoken to his best friend since then.

It was no good to dwell on Gary's issues though. Tracey was going home for several weeks and that was all the mattered, or so he kept telling himself. No matter what, there was always something to remind him that his friend was going through some sort of personal hell and that there was nothing he could do, short of flat out telling either Professor Oak or May that Gary was gay and was so pissy because he was afraid of what everyone's reactions would be to it. Of course, this was out of the question.

Tracey sighed softly has he gathered a few last minute items from his desk and placed them in his bag. He had to leave soon in order to catch the ferry from the mainland to Hamlin Island, after that it was an even longer ferry ride to the southern portion of the archipelago until he reached Sunburst Island. Unfortunately, he would be with Gary until this point since Gary was traveling further south to Valencia Island. He didn't even want to take the car ride to the small harbor south of Pallet with Gary.

The sound of happy squeaking caught his attention and he turned to see Marill bounce up on the desk chair, seeming cheerful. The little pokemon seemed to deflate slightly when he noticed that Tracey wasn't in a particularly good mood. Marill jumped up on the desk and placed his paws on Tracey's arm, staring up at him with wide eyes as if to ask what was bothering him.

"It's nothing, Marill," Tracey replied with a forced smile as he scratched Marill behind the ears. "I just don't want to be stuck on a boat with Gary all day." Marill's ears drooped slightly and he dropped his paws, seeming dejected at the mention of the other teen. "Yeah, I know, Buddy, you don't like him… You would love him if he wasn't so damn miserable all the time…"

Marill glared up at Tracey at the last comment, making sure that Tracey knew how much he disliked the young researcher and the attitude he constantly had. Tracey frowned slightly at the reaction but said nothing. He knew how much Marill hated Gary and it confused him because it was so incredibly uncharacteristic for his sweet and loving pokemon to dislike anyone, particularly one of Tracey's friends.

Just down the hall, a door closed loudly, causing both Tracey and Marill to jump at the sudden noise. Tracey shook his head with a small smile as he heard Umbreon bound out of Gary's room, down the hall, and down the stairs. As much as the canine loved being home at the ranch in Pallet, it was obvious that she was excited to be leaving for what would undoubtedly be a bit of adventure – if her trainer could calm down at all. Gary walked past the open door a moment later with his bag slung over one shoulder and Tracey called out to him.

"Looking forward to wrangling sharpedoes for the next three weeks?" he asked when Gary paused in the doorway.

"I'm just glad to be getting the hell out of here," Gary replied.

Tracey nodded. "Same here," he admitted.

Gary frowned at his response, suddenly appearing suspicious. "You're leaving too?" Tracey gave another nod. "So, you're going to the Orange Islands as well?" Tracey nodded for a third time, only to be met with a frustrated groan as Gary threw his head back. "What, is he sending you to baby-sit me?" With that, he turned and started to leave.

"It couldn't possibly be because I'm from Sunburst Island, could it?" Tracey called after him with a touch of sarcasm. He cursed softly once Gary was out of ear range and shook his head. "Maybe he'll grow up while he's away," he groaned as he slung his bag over his shoulder and scooped up Marill.

He felt more than ready to leave town.

… … …

The car ride to the harbor had passed in near-silence, the only sounds coming from Marill and Venonat as they excitedly chattered while watching the scenery pass by the windows. The little pokemon had always loved car rides but their happiness did not seem to wear off on the other passengers in the car as the professor drove the two boys and May, who had insisted on coming along.

They finally pulled into a parking spot at the harbor and Gary quickly opened his door, about to climb out when the professor stopped him.

"May, why don't you help Tracey unload the trunk and pick up the ferry tickets," Professor Oak suggested, raising his voice slightly to be heard over Gary's annoyed sigh.

Tracey and May exchanged glances and simultaneously climbed out.

"Someone's getting a lecture," May announced in a sing-song voice as she opened up the trunk and watched as Tracey pulled out the bags.

"That's not particularly surprising," Tracey pointed out. It was true – the professor was always finding some reason to pull Gary aside for a talking-to about something.

"I wonder if we can listen in," May wondered aloud, leaning into the trunk to listen through the backseat of the car.

Tracey recalled Marill and Venonat into their pokeballs and picked up his bag. "We have to get tickets, May, and I'd rather not annoy your brother. He already thinks I'm going just to baby-sit him."

"Self-centered little brat, isn't he?" May called back cheerfully as she backed out of the trunk. Tracey couldn't help but smile as she straightened her clothes and grinned. It was nice to know that at least one of the siblings he lived with was consistently in a good mood.

Inside the car, Gary rolled his eyes. "Now what?" he asked irritably.

The professor sighed. "That attitude is exactly what I wanted to talk about," he replied wearily. "Being asked to be part of this type of research project is a big deal –"

"Sayda was bigger."

"Gary, enough – you were able to get involved at Sayda because I pulled strings. You were able to get onto this because you were smart and you worked hard. This one is entirely you: the only thing I had to do with it was introducing you to Professor Birch years ago, and talking the school into letting you do lab work in place of science classes."

Gary groaned softly and resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. He was quickly growing sick of his grandfather's lectures; they seemed to happen on a nearly daily basis – sometimes more often. "Is there a point to this?" he asked flatly, gazing out the window. He could see Tracey and May walking towards a ticket window on the side of the building near the dock. He pointedly avoided focusing on Tracey and instead turned his attention to the several boats in the small harbor.

"Yes," the professor replied exasperatedly. Just as his grandson was growing tired of these lectures, he was growing tired of the boy's attitude. The older man sighed again and took a moment to gather his thoughts before pressing on. "You're smart, Gary, probably smarter than even you realize and certainly smarter than you've been acting these past few months." Gary turned from the window to glare at him but the professor seemed entirely unfazed by the look. "You're intelligent, you're hard-working, and you're determined. But you're also stubborn and, frankly, you've had a terrible attitude. Everyone is capable of being in a bad mood, but I know you, and this bratty teenager routine is not you."

Returning his gaze the water, Gary shook his head slightly. "What's your point?" he asked, maintaining the same flat tone from earlier.

"My point is that this is a big opportunity, one that you deserve. Tagging Sharpedo… You'll be out on the ocean every day, working with dangerous pokemon: it's what you love. I'd hate to see you screw this up by not being yourself."

Gary was silent for a moment, simply gazing out of the window before turning back to look at his grandfather. "You think I deserve this?" Again, his tone changed little, though Gary was genuinely curious about this. Despite how self-focused he had been, Gary knew that there were times when he had truly pushed the limits of his grandfather's nearly limitless patience. If the older man thought that he still deserved a chance to spend a few weeks doing something that he undoubtedly would love, then perhaps he would be supportive of… other things.

The professor nodded slowly. "Despite how crazy you have driven me this year, yes."

There was a sort of finality in his tone that caught Gary somewhat off-guard – his grandfather could be rather stern on select occasions but he was rarely this firm. Gary couldn't help but wonder if that firmness had been intentional, perhaps to emphasize the fact that he had played the role of an angsty and irritable teen rather well this past year.

Professor Oak climbed out of the car and walked around to the trunk to pull out the last of the bags while Gary lingered in the car for another moment or two thinking about the conversation that had just taken place. This had been different from the normal lectures he had grown used to; they usually seemed to be intent on making him feel stupid and childish, but not this time. This time it seemed almost as though the professor was trying to encourage him in a subtle way. The fact that he had acknowledged how much Gary's behavior had bothered him over the past few months was what had particularly stood out. The lectures were common, yes, but they were always exclusively based on Gary's behavior, occasionally touching on how it affected May or his friends, never on how it affected his grandfather. Something about the mere mention of it hit home and a small part of Gary realized that he would be able to talk to his grandfather without fearing a negative response.

With a sigh, Gary climbed out of the car and rested his forearms on the low roof. He watched for a moment as his grandfather fussed with something in the trunk. After a moment, he took a deep breath, intending on either apologizing for being an idiotic teenager or divulging why he had been acting like that, whichever came out easiest.

"Hey, Grandpa?" As Professor Oak looked up from the trunk, appearing mildly surprised by the tentative start, the words seemed to disappear and Gary lost his nerve as quickly as it had come. He rested his head on his arms for a second before moving away from the car with a shake of the head. "Never mind… It-it's not important."

For a brief moment, the professor looked concerned but shrugged it off as he closed the trunk and followed Gary towards the ticket window that May and Tracey were waiting at.

… … …

The fresh air felt wonderful as the ferry moved quickly through the ocean. They had already been on the boat for two hours, but Tracey didn't feel the slightest bit bored yet. Despite the fact that he still faced another hour on this boat, followed by nearly four on a second boat headed towards Sunburst Island, he still felt excited and happy. His sketch book had already collected four more sketches in the time on the boat and he was sure that more would come soon enough, but for now, he was content to just watch the water as the ferry plowed along through the waves.

There were few people on the boat other than himself and Gary, most of them trainers, one of whom was a rather attractive young man about his age with green eyes and brown hair a similar shade to Gary's. For some reason, he looked vaguely familiar to Tracey and he had to wonder if this boy was also from Sunburst. He had felt the boy's eyes on him as he had walked past once with Marill and had noticed that the boy had a tell-tale slight feminity to his mannerisms. Whoever he was, he had to be gay and, on top of that, he had seemed somewhat interested in Tracey.

Maybe, just maybe, if this boy was going to Sunburst Island, he might be able to help Tracey get his mind away from Gary.

Almost the exact second his thoughts drifted to Gary, he heard a familiar voice behind him. Tracey turned, greeted Gary and Umbreon quietly, and turned back to the ocean.

"What are you doing?" Gary asked, leaned against the railing next to him.

"What does it look like?" Tracey retorted.

Gary took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. Tracey's short attitude with him, though still uncharacteristic was becoming more common place. "Alright, it was a stupid question," he admitted. He paused for a moment and glanced at Tracey before continuing. "What's with you lately?" he asked lightly.

Tracey turned to him with an incredulous look. "What's with me? With me? Not you, the one that's turned into the hellion of Pallet, but me?" He shook his head, wondering if Gary had finally lost his mind entirely.

"I'm not Wyatt," Gary replied softly, seeming embarrassed at being called the 'hellion of Pallet.'

"According to a few of your friends, you're turning into him."

"That's not exactly something I'm proud of…"

"Then maybe you should do something to fix that, Gary."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, you could stop being a jerk to your friends," Tracey pointed out as calmly as he could. He turned and leaned back against the railing with his arms crossed. For once, Gary didn't reply. "You could stop drinking so much with your friends, you could stop panicking about what will happen if someone finds out that you're gay, you could stop dwelling on everything that's bothering you."

"It's not that easy," Gary sighed.

"No," Tracey agreed. "But it's a lot harder when you don't try." He frowned and thought for a moment. "I guess that's what's been with me lately." Gary glanced at him curiously and Tracey shrugged his shoulders in response. "You're the one that asked… It just bothers me to see a friend who's actually a great guy turn into such an ass because of an insecurity."

He found it surprising that Gary had no reply; the other boy was often so stubborn that he couldn't resist getting in final, argumentative word. Rather than replying, Gary dejectedly gazed out at the water. Umbreon leaned against him with a soft whine and nudged his hand with her nose until he finally scratched her behind the ears. Trying to come up with a different subject, Tracey followed his gaze, hoping that there would be something else out there. Seeing Umbreon's behavior was almost always the most tragic thing about everything that was happening.

Pokemon always picked up on the emotions of humans. While Marill seemed to be rubbed entirely the wrong way by Gary's attitude, Umbreon was severely upset by it. She was protective of her trainer and her whines and cries were always an indicator of whenever Gary's mood turned. Tracey had pointed this out – subtly – to the professor, as had May, and nothing had come of it. It wasn't that the professor didn't care, Tracey knew this for a fact, even if Gary seemed to feel otherwise. It seemed as though the professor was almost in denial that something was wrong.

A blue and red flash beneath the surface of the water caught Tracey's eye and he was about to point out the tentacruel to Gary when he heard another voice behind them.

"Hi, you're Tracey, right?"

Turning around, Tracey found the cute teenager that had looked so familiar to him earlier. This close, Tracey could see that the boy wore a necklace with a glass charm of a pokeball hanging just below his collar bone, allowing him to recognize the boy from home on Sunburst Island. A close friend from years earlier that he had long since fallen out of contact with. Just behind him stood a Vaporeon who was peering curiously at Tracey.

"Alex," Tracey acknowledged the boy with a smile. "I haven't seen you since you left to become a trainer."

The trainer laughed. "So, you remember me, then."

Tracey smiled in response. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gary roll his eyes and shake his head with a small smirk as he continued to look at the water. Next to him, Umbreon held her head higher and seemed to stand with a more regal posture. Tracey almost laughed at the haughty change in the dark type pokemon. Why Umbreon bothered, he didn't know – it was obvious from first glance that Umbreon was the superior pokemon. He dismissed this fact; he already knew that Gary had been a particularly advanced trainer and he refused to compare an old friend to his newer crush.

After a few moments of casual small-talk, Alex invited Tracey to accompany him to the snack machines for a small lunch, an invitation that Tracey happily accepted. Before leaving him, Tracey quickly squeezed Gary's shoulder and leaned closer to him.

"Don't dwell on your problems, just try to relax and have fun," he advised quietly.

Gary's smirk deepened and he gave a small, almost bitter laugh. "Sure thing, Trace. Have fun," he sneered.

Tracey rolled his eyes and shook his head, almost wishing he could smack the younger boy in the back of the head. "Jerk," he muttered under his breath as he followed Alex and his Vaporeon away from the railing. He could tell easily that Gary was jealous and while he found it to be a bit amusing, he certainly was not going to dwell on it.

Once Tracey was out of earshot, Gary turned away from the water and looked down at Umbreon. "A Vaporeon… Are you serious?" he asked of no one in particular.

Umbreon flicked her tail proudly in response, slicking her long ears back slightly, which caused her trainer to smile a bit.

Loving the water as much as he did, Gary's original intention had been to evolve his eevee into a vaporeon once she had passed level 50 and learned Last Resort. Of course, his pokemon was as stubborn as him and had resisted the evolution, going as far as Headbutting the Water Stone out his hand so hard that it flew across the lab back home and shattered when it struck a counter. Regardless of how annoyed he had been with her for this, Gary had been ecstatic when she actually evolved into the umbreon she now was. The evolution far better suited her personality and he was sure that she was stronger as an Umbreon than she would have been as a vaporeon.

Looking at the other eevee evolution while its owner openly flirted with Tracey had revealed weaknesses that he knew Umbreon – and most of his other pokemon – lacked. The vaporeon had been evolved early – too early in his opinion – the small stature of the pokemon revealed that much; Gary doubted the eevee had even learned Bite before being exposed to a Water Stone. The vaporeon's eyes were not as bright as Umbreon's, it's coloring was paler than usual for a vaporeon, and it's skin had a slightly dry appearance. All symptoms of slight vitamin deficiencies in pokemon – not bad enough to be a sign of a poor trainer, but just enough to be a sign of a trainer that didn't do his homework before buying food for his pokemon.

"I guess Tracey's not choosing boyfriends based training abilities," Gary mused with a touch of bitterness.

Umbreon looked up at him and perked her ears slightly, her eyes alight with a slight gleam of mischief.

Gary saw the gleam and shook his head. "I don't want to date him, don't get any ideas," he warned his pokemon.

She replied with a small growl, her ears drooping a bit and her crimson eyes narrowing as she challenged her trainer.

"I'm serious, 'Bre. I don't want to date him."

Umbreon seemed to ignore the reply as she haughtily licked at one of her front paws; Gary knew her well enough to see that it was a sign of defiance. She didn't believe him in the slightest.

"I don't even like him that way!"

This time Umbreon gave a sharp bark, followed by a cheerful whining that Gary recognized as her canine version of laughter.

Gary sighed. "Bitch…"

… … …

It seemed as though the day was dragging on and on with no end in sight. The ferry was quickly approaching Valencia Island – Gary could actually see the island in the distance – but that did little to relieve the boredom that he was feeling after being stuck on the boat all day. Tracey was still off flirting with his friend; Gary had seen them several times and hadn't been able to suppress the sudden surge of jealousy he felt every time he saw them. It was childish and stupid but he couldn't help it.

The other boy that had stolen Tracey's attention didn't seem particularly bad or anything like that; he was just annoying. With a sigh, Gary set down the book that he was reading and closed his eyes briefly. It was becoming harder and harder by the day to deny the feelings he was having towards Tracey.

It seemed like a mere crush had turned into a near-obsession and it was driving him crazy for a number of reasons. Of course, the main reason was the inability to act on those feelings. Another reason was this little brat flirting with Tracey. Gary's stomach churned uncomfortably every time he saw the two of them together and it was starting to truly bother him, even more than it had been in the past few months at home.

"Hi, grouchy," a familiar voice spoke up unexpectedly.

Gary couldn't help but smile slightly. "Hey, Trace," he replied without opening his eyes.

He heard Tracey sit down on the bench next to him. "Tired?"

"Not really." Gary opened his eyes and glanced over at Tracey, who seemed a bit quieter than usual. "What are you doing over here? I thought you were busy with your friend."

Tracey nodded distractedly. "I was. I just figured I'd say goodbye before we reach Valencia. Call me stupid, but I think I'll actually miss your attitude and sarcasm while we're apart for three weeks."

Gary snorted softly. "It does sound stupid when you put it like that," he agreed.

They were quiet for a moment before Tracey spoke up again, this time seeming a bit uncomfortable. "I know you don't like him," he said softly.

"His vaporeon was evolved too soon and has vitamin deficiencies, he's clearly not –"

"As good a trainer as you were and still are."

Gary glanced over at Tracey, surprised that he had finished the sentence like that. Those hadn't exactly been the words he had in mind but they were sufficient and certainly kinder than his own. "Yeah, well, when your grandfather is a pokemon professor, you tend to pick up on techniques that other people don't."

"That can't be the only reason you don't like the guy, Gary," Tracey said quietly, ignoring Gary's last statement. He shook his head when Gary didn't respond. "I know that's not the only reason," he pushed but still received no reply. "If there's a reason why, then you can tell me. Any reason, Gary… You know I'll listen."

He did actually know the reason why Gary didn't like Alex, whom he had spent the majority of the boat trip with. It was jealousy. He could see and sense it easily. He had noticed Gary's dark gaze every time he had passed by him throughout the trip.

Gary looked at Tracey and met his eyes searchingly. He didn't quite know what to make of Tracey's words – it seemed like he was insinuating something and Gary wasn't quite sure he wanted to know what that something was.

"He thinks you're straight, by the way. I don't think you have to worry about people figuring at that you're gay, especially if you can fool another gay guy." Gary rolled his eyes as Tracey pressed on. "Alex is going back to Sunburst Island, just like me. It'll be nice to spend time together, we haven't seen each other since we were about ten or eleven… The way things are going right now, I think he might actually ask me out while we're home," Tracey mused calmly.

Something in Gary snapped at the offhand comment. "He's not your type," he hissed, forcing down the burst of jealousy that rose in him at Tracey's comment.

Tracey titled his head to the side as he looked at Gary, seeming mildly amused. "So then, what is my type?"

Gary shrugged his shoulders. "Not him."

"That's not very specific."

Gary shook his head irritably with a sharp sigh. "Someone that knows more about pokemon. You're too knowledgeable to date someone who clearly can't feed his pokemon the proper type of food."

"A better trainer then, or maybe more the researcher type? Interesting. Anything else?"

"Tracey, you live in Pallet!" Gary groaned. "You work there and you have friends there, why would you bother dating a traveling trainer?"

Tracey frowned slightly at the question. He knew Gary's point and it had already crossed his mind. He already knew that if he ended up with this other trainer it wouldn't be particularly serious. After all, Tracey's mind was already on someone else. He would certainly rather date Gary, there was no question in his mind about that – there was already chemistry, already similar interests and goals. And, of course, they lived together and were both gay. It would make sense on several levels for them to date. It was just a matter of what Gary wanted and what he was willing to do.

"Gary," he sighed softly, meeting the other boy's eyes. "What's the real reason you don't want me with this guy? Seriously, tell me. If it's a good reason… I won't do it. If you think there's someone else who's better suited for me, then tell me, because right now, I'm going home for almost a month and I have nothing to stop me from actually having a boyfriend and experiencing that for once. But," he sighed again. "If one of my best friends has a reason for me to not date someone, then I want to hear it."

Gary looked up again. "Best friend?" he echoed.

"Yes," Tracey confirmed but didn't elaborate. He knew Gary was not going to answer the question and he didn't feel like prying just to get the other boy to admit that he was jealous. "We'll be at Valencia soon. Have fun, try not to get bit by any sharpedoes."

Gary groaned while Tracey walked away, presumably back to wherever his friend was. As he returned his dark gaze to the cool blue water surrounding the boat, he couldn't help but wonder why Tracey would consider him a best friend. They were certainly roommates and good friends but Gary knew that he often pushed Tracey's patience to his limits, but then again, didn't he also do that to Wyatt and Darren, who also did it to Gary in return?

It was all too common for close friends to annoy each other, to share secrets… To hate the person that the friend was dating. That, in particular was one of the current issues with Darren: his new girlfriend was Brandon's ex, who happened to be the biggest bitch on the planet. Gary couldn't stand her, nor could the majority of the boys in Pallet; they only put up with her because she seemed to make Darren happy… most of the time.

Why was he even thinking about all of this in the first place? It was pathetic and the only reason behind it that Gary could think of was the fact that he wanted to be the one that Tracey dated, rather than some other guy that he didn't even know. Thinking of Darren's girlfriend back home forced him to admit that whether or not he liked this guy didn't make much of a difference if Tracey ended up happy with him, for this trip at least. Once Tracey was back in Pallet… That was a different story entirely.

He rolled his eyes at himself as he turned away from the water, his eyes quickly seeking out Tracey as the other boy was just about to enter the indoor portion of the boat.

"Trace," he called flatly.

Tracey paused before turning, appearing mildly impatient with him. At this point, Gary wasn't sure that he could blame him for being impatient – he knew he was being a pain.

"Date who you want."

Tracey looked at him suspiciously, wondering what had brought this about. "What's with the sudden change of heart?" he called back to Gary in the same flat tone that the younger boy had used.

"As long as the person makes you happy, does it really matter what someone else thinks?" Gary shrugged and leaned back against the railing, figuring Tracey would be pleased with this change in viewpoint.

To his surprise, Tracey frowned. "Yes," Tracey replied tartly. "It does matter."

With that he turned and left, leaving Gary alone to heave another sigh as the boat finally pulled up to the dock at Valencia Island.

… … …