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Sacrifice

Where I land, there is water as far as the eye can see.
I am not alone - though it might seem that way.

I do not plunge into the depths. Instead, I land atop it without feeling a thing. My body defies logic, sitting atop the rippling surface as if it were as dense as I.

The clocktower is not present. I seem to have landed in another time - another world.

With a little resistance, I manage to my feet. The light from above shining brightly down on me.
Above me, a single star guides my way.

North.

Wordlessly, I travel forth, to make my choice.

I have traveled the four corners of the universe, and here I end up, in the center of everything. Ready to face the biggest challenge yet.
Take a deep breath. It may be my last. Enjoy it for what it is. A breath of stale air.

My legs work without direction from my brain. Body acts on its own.

We must learn better ways to love.
This is my burden to bear. My test to pass. My obstacle to overcome.

Do you feel time slipping away from us? Eluding us like an animal evading captivity?

I can smell you on the horizon.

Tell myself everything will be okay, but I know it not to be true.

The things you feel outsmart the things you know.
I feel the void approaching. I feel you fading away.

I know there's a way to fix things, but I feel as though I will fail at making the right decisions.

Light at the end of the tunnel is flickering for obvious reasons. Will I arrive at the end safely, or will failure rear its ugly head?

You wait for me on the horizon. Two lifeless bodies, sprawled across this uncertain surface we stand on. I need the two of you far more than you could ever fathom. That is why this must be done. That is why this must be taken care of.

That is why I have made my decision. And, as I expected, it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make.

"Are you sure about this?"
I don't know. But I'll do what I have to.
"Out of the three decisions you had, how can you be so sure you've made the right one?"
I can't. That's the hard part. I must accept the consequences of the path I've chosen. There's no other way around this.
"It was always your decision to make. I suppose that means you've picked the right one by default."
You have an interesting way of looking at things.
"The path of destruction. Inner. Outer. Others. Self. Things couldn't be helped."
I know.
"Does this comfort you?"
No. It makes me sad. It makes me empty.
"I'm sorry I couldn't create a perfect world for you. That's all I wanted. I wanted you to be happy."
I did, too.

I'll spend an eternity trying to rid you from my bones.
Your remnants will linger like the ghost of that unwilling to move on. It's understandable, but I wish it wasn't so.
The fall of something that could have been beautiful begins here. Or maybe I'm just catching on. Maybe it started a long time ago, and there was nothing I could ever do about it. Or, perhaps it could have been helped, but I was just too stupid to figure it out. Neither would have surprised me.

I am a victim of my own failure. My own self-hatred. The wounds inflicted upon me were signed in blood - mine.

"Your kingdom awaits you, Sora," you both say in unison. "Eternity awaits you."
Wishes are eternal, I say. I've faced eternity and come out empty handed. There is nothing left for me now.

This is forever.
This is eternal.
This is immortal.

We kiss on the mouth. We cough blood into our sleeves. We see the light for what it is, was, and always will be. We are forged of the seed of the forgotten. The loss will hurt. The pride will bleed.

We can't be any better.

There's only one thing left for me to do.

Rise, I tell you. It's time.

Without a word, you both stand. As if breathing by my command.

I want to apologize. I want to tell you I'm sorry for everything. I want to tell you how I feel about both of you - you mean so much to me.

The world.

Ironic.

I taste copper in my throat, as if choking on pennies. But we all know it's not the case. Try to swallow, but the opening is too tight.

Forbidden fruits are forbidden for a reason. That's okay, it's better to have not tasted a thing.

You both stare at me without blinking, and I feel naked.

Keyblade appears in my hand once again.

Confusion stretched across your faces.
Wonder. Curiosity.

When I sleep, I'll be okay.
When I dream, I'm someone new.

This is all for you.
All for love.

Turn the blade towards my own chest, gripping the sharp edge as tightly as I can. Point digging into my flesh, pressing myself to follow through.

Did you see this coming?

Is this what you expected of me?

For what matters most, I sacrifice.
So you both can exist, I destroy what little is left of myself.

Death and rebirth.
Blood drips down my chest, slowly. Tickling. Stinging.

Flames inside roaring as the wind vigorously dances with them. It isn't over yet.
Behind this smile, I hide something hurtful. Something bitter.

Sharp pain as I self destruct.

It's okay, you can look away. I understand.

You are the only things that make me want to live at all.
If I can't be with you - the both of you - what point is there to existing?

I see no reason to stay.

Sternum cracks. Heart engulfs the sharp point. I feel as though I'm coming to life and dying at the same time - but only the latter is certain.

I wish I could return what you gave me. This is the closest I can ever come.

Bleed a thousand regrets, as I slowly fade from existence before your eyes.

I love you.