It was time. I pulled into the parking lot and found a space. I had told Chibs and Jax everything last night, there was nothing they didn't know about Japan now. We had to tell the guys about last night though, and then I would have to tell them about Japan as well. Though there was still the fact that my mother doesn't want her story told, so that makes it kind of difficult for them to realize the real danger.
Chibs had been hard to tell. He always reacted so badly to anything that threatened to hurt me, and this time he hadn't been around to protect me. He was still pissed. He was mad at himself for letting me go, and a little mad at me for going. But that was just because he couldn't take it out on the real people he was mad at. I felt so bad for him, I didn't want him to know, for exactly this reason. He could at least find solace in the fact that I carried out justice myself. But it still upset him because I had to. The fact that I had to do something like that killed him.
"You ready?" Jax called from beside his bike. He and Chibs had pulled in at the same time as me. One riding in front, the other following my car.
"Yeah, go round everybody up." I called back as I walked towards him.
Chibs and I met each other halfway as Jax walked off towards the shop. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. "You okay?"
"Yeah baby, I'm fine. Just ready to get this over with." I huddled against him for strength and warmth. Even though it was a glorious 80 odd degrees outside, I still felt a chill that ran all the way to my bones. "I love you, Chibs."
"I love you too. Never forget that." He breathed against my hair.
Jax stopped back by us on his way into the club. "Okay, meeting in 20 minutes. We'll all go in, tell them about last night, and then you can explain why you're sitting in on the meeting. Are you okay? Still up for this?" He said as he gave me a sympathetic look.
"I have to be."
"Well, not technically. You don't have to tell them about Japan. But it would help."
"I know, and yes, I can't keep it to myself forever." I was going to tell them, how could I not? It might be hard now but in the long run it would make things easier. I might as well tell them now while I had a reason.
The meeting started off smoothly, everybody was there, except Piney, and Half Sack wasn't allowed in yet as he was still a prospect. Chibs and Jax told the guys about last night, I only popped in every once in awhile to fill in the blanks. The guys were not happy, but they would wait to talk retaliation until I wasn't in the room.
"So," Clay spoke to me from the head of the table. "Are we gonna hear why you're in here? There has to be a good reason."
I shifted in my seat beside Chibs. The guys had all shifted one seat down so that I could sit beside him.
"Well, umm," Chibs reached over and took my hand in his. "I, uhh, about last night, well, I handled it a little too well…"
"We can see that…why?" Bobby looked at me with curious eyes. I glanced around the table. They all held the same confused but sympathetic look on their face.
"Something happened. In Japan, I mean. I don't know where to begin, but I guess I'll just start somewhere. You guys know I had a guide with me, right? To take me through the countryside and keep me safe, that kind of thing."
Some nodded, but I kept my eyes trained on Bobby. His expression changed, I could tell what he was thinking, and it was echoed in Tig's words a second later. "What did he do to you?" Tig's voice held a touch of anger in it.
"Nothing, he protected me. But one night, we were sleeping, and the next thing I know, three men came up on us. Endo tried to fight them off, but one isn't a match against three, and he lost. They tied us up, moved us…they had us for awhile…I can't be sure, because one of them knocked me out, I was fighting back, and they didn't like that." Chibs' hand was tensing into a ball in mine. He had to work to keep it from crushing my hand. I absently started soothing him, rubbing his hand with mine, trying to take some of the tension away.
"When I woke up, it was daylight. Endo was talking to me, trying to wake me up. We were tied to one another; we couldn't move anything but our feet. They had our stuff, but hadn't gone through it. I think it was just the next morning. Two of the men left, I have no idea where they went, but awhile after they left, the other man came over and started messing with me." Chibs whole arm was tense now. The veins in his arm were popping out like ropes, I tried to calm him, but it barely worked. I chose not to look up at anyone, but kept my focus on Chibs arm.
"He didn't rape me…but he tried. Endo kicked the shit out of him first, and then they started tangling with all that MMA stuff. Endo could hold his own for a guy with only two legs, but it wasn't enough. The man got away and came back with a knife and slit Endo's throat. He hadn't forgotten about me, but he was too preoccupied with the damage Endo had done to him that getting in my pants was the last thing on his mind. He did drop a knife though, he didn't realize it. I guess it fell out of his shirt or pants. As soon as I realized it, I drug it up to me with my legs, and eventually got it back in my hands." I left out the part about how I had to sit tied to Endo for two days, crying over his body and swearing revenge on the man that did it and his friends. I felt guilty, also, because Endo had only been trying to protect me. Survivals guilt, I guess. Now I knew what it felt like.
"I got my chance two days later. The other men were still gone, but they were coming back. I tried to cut through my ropes, but I couldn't do it without attracting attention. I did it at night when the guy went to sleep, but it took me awhile. I got free the second night when he was still sleeping. I…cut his throat, and watched him die. I gathered mine and Endo's things and moved them a little ways from the camp. I buried Endo's body…" My voice trailed off as tears came to my eyes. He was my friend, and I had had to hand dig his grave. I picked a beautiful spot though. The view was amazing. Maybe one day I would go back to visit him and take some pictures. At the time though, my camera was the last thing on my mind.
"…and waited for the other two to get back. I had the nine millimeter, and plenty of ammo-"
Tig cut me off there. "Tell me why you weren't sleeping with it the night they got you. Hmm?"
"I was, but you only have so many options in a situation like that. I was in a sleeping bag, so I could either put in the bag with me, where no one could see it, but I couldn't get to it, or right beside me where they could have grabbed it first before I knew they were there, or under the sleeping bag under my head, which is where I had it. They came up and grabbed my arms first thing. I had no way to get to it. They found it though, eventually, so I had to pull it off the man that killed Endo, after I killed him."
I could see them visibly flinching each time I talked about me killing. I couldn't blame them, I said it so nonchalantly, and they weren't expecting that.
"So anyway, I waited for the other men to get back-"
"Why didn't you just leave?" it was Juice that spoke up this time.
"Are you kidding me? Leave and not get justice?" I fixed him with an incredulous stare. I knew why they would want me to leave. They wouldn't have wanted me to put myself in danger.
"I had to stay. Did you really expect me to let them get away with it? Was that how I was raised? No, if at all possible, you get revenge."
"Gang mentality isn't quite the same when you were out there by yourself, with nothing but a 9 mil and a Sons attitude. You could have gotten yourself killed." Bobby leaned forward and placed his hand on the table towards me.
"What would you have done?" I said as looked at Bobby. I glanced around at the rest of them, wanting them to understand. "What would any of you done? Don't sit there, thinking about how much danger I was in and that I should have ran when everyone in this room has always taught me otherwise."
"That's a little different, we always taught you to take care of your own battles when they consisted of girl fights at school. But when something actually dangerous happens…" Bobby trailed off as he realized where his statement was going. When something actually dangerous happens, you let the guys protect you. But this time, the guys were on a different continent. I had had to do it myself.
"Anyway, I waited for them to get back. It didn't take long, they found the maggots eating their friend and us gone. They freaked out, and I shot them. Both. Then I left and made my way back to civilization, I had to explain where Endo was and I had to go through a whole bunch of legal bullshit, but I was finally able to come home."
"Why didn't you call us, why didn't we know, someone should have come over there to help you." It was Tig that spoke up this time.
"Like any of the Sons need to leave Charming at the moment. Plus I didn't want anyone freaking out, and I couldn't have let one person know without everyone finding out. That would have just been added pressure on the Club. Everything's okay now. I'm home, I'm fine, I'm not in jail. It's all over." It wasn't over, not with the nightmares and then everything with Zobbel that was happening, but at least I was back in Charming, back with my family, and that meant a lot.
For the first time in a long time Clay spoke up. "Are you okay?"
I glanced up at my step-father, trying to hide the demons that swam in my eyes. I was as okay as I was going to be. Only time could heal a wound this deep. That I was this affected didn't mean that I was weak, it only meant that I was human. If any of the men sitting around me had had to go through what I went through- with someone they loved like a brother like I did Endo- they would be in as bad a shape as I was. Especially in a different country, with no allies that swore their allegiance to protecting yourself and your family.
I cleared my throat and responded as evenly as I was able. "Yes sir, I'm fine."
Clay nodded before speaking. "Well,' he said as he raised his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes, 'I'm sorry you had to deal with that…And I'm glad your back, and safe." He glanced around the table at his brothers. "We all are." A resounded murmur of yes's filled the air. "We'll talk later, but for now, down to business. I know it goes without saying, but I gotta say it anyway…last night…" Clay fixed me with an expression that I knew well as he left his sentence unfinished.
Understanding, I picked up where he left off. "Last night…Chibs and I spent a quiet night alone sleeping soundly in our new bedroom. By the way, a tempurpedic mattress is more than worth the money."
Clay nodded and almost smirked as a few strained giggles bubbled out from the men around me. They were shocked that I was so easy about the whole situation. What I had just told left them all on edge, and I knew my nonchalant attitude towards my experience in Japan pushed them even farther to the brink of amazement. None of them knew how to act around me now, which is why I didn't want to tell anybody in the first place. After they had time to think about it, though, they would see how normal I was since I had been home. That image would help them remember that I was still me, and that I was strong. I didn't need sympathetic eyes every time one of the guys looked at me. I needed them to treat me as they'd always treated me. I just hoped it could truly be the same as before.
"Well," I said as I released Chibs hand and stood from my borrowed chair. "A lady always knows when to make a graceful exit." I shared a look with Jax, then turned to Chibs to give him a reassuring smile that said both 'I'm fine' and 'Thank you.'
As I turned around to walk away Tig's hand grasped mine for a few short seconds while Chibs laid a loving hand on my back. I silently made my way out of the room, closing the door behind me. What I saw across the bar when I turned around stopped me dead in my tracks. My heart started pounding in my ears, my mouth went dry and my brain raced forward for the best solution to the situation I was presented with. My predator took a determined step closer as I tried to camouflage myself with the door behind me.
No weapon in the concealed compartments in the club or on my body would help me in this fight. Nor would any amount of diplomacy. I braced myself for the onslaught that was to come. There was only one way out of this, and it was forward. I took a deep breath and then a step towards my scowling mother.