LEAVING YOU
Rating: PG Pairing: Harry/Sirius pre-slash Warning: OotP Spoliers! Author's Notes: This is part one of a series of drabbles that will probably blend into a longer story at some point in the future. It answers to the weekly dictionary challenges on the Canis Major Yahoogroup. This week's word: naïveté
Thank you to my beta Charlotte!
After a long moment Sirius drew back from the embrace and looked at Harry intensly. "Harry, you must know that what you did was stupid. Communicating with the dead always has its price."
Harry tried to hug his godfather again, but could not let go of Sirius' eyes. The blue was burning into him and kept him from looking away. He tried to look away, but when he could pull his gaze from the eyes, it only landed on his mouth and suddenly all thoughts fled his mind.
This mouth was the one he had dreamt about; the one he wanted to kiss and have him kiss.
The lips he was gazing at started to move and Harry tried to get himself out of his daydreaming to hear what his beloved godfather had to tell him.
"Listen to me, Harry. I know it must be hard for you. I wish that I could make it better. That you could stay here, or I could come back with you," Harry looked back up at Sirius' eyes, staring at him in all earnest, more earnest than he had ever seen them before. "But that isn't how life and death works. Once you're dead you can't come back. You only stay alive in the memories and thoughts of those who loved you," Sirius closed his eyes once and swallowed deeply. "And that is the way that I'll always be with you. You don't have to take such risks to try and talk to me,". Sirius paused a moment. Because I'm right there," He tapped Harry's chest with his finger. "And I know you'll never forget me."
He crushed Harry in a hug and Harry hugged him back as hard as he could, afraid of letting go, but at the same time understanding that he had to. He mumbled into the strong chest in front of him. "So, you're not angry with me? It was my fault that you had to come to the Ministry and ..."
Sirius softly pushed him away and laid a finger over Harry's mouth. "No, I didn't have to come and it's not your fault. It was my decision and everybody in the Order knows that the highest price we have to pay is death. But it's not your fault, or anybody else's. Not even Bellatrix is directly guilty of my death. It was an accident while duelling."
Harry slowly shook his head, not ready to accept the last part yet, but Sirius nodded at him and only drew him back into an embrace. Eventually, he let his arms sink and a few moments later Harry did the same. He seemed to be steeling himself for the inevitable good-bye.
Sirius slipped his hand over Harry's tear-strained face and gave him a small kiss. "It isn't your time yet, Harry. You have a lot to live for before you get here and you should enjoy it and be happy. Can you do that for me?"
Harry nodded, tears still hindering his sight. Then he turned around and was moved away again. He turned around to catch one last sight of Sirius. Harry saw him slowly fading into a shadow again, one hand risen in a silent goodbye. End Talking Drabbles