What are we?

Jacob dropped me off at Sam and Emily's home, I said bye to him and was about to get out of the car when he grabbed my hand. "Talk to you tomorrow?"

His puppy dog eyes were wide with questioning and I nodded. "Yeah, sure."

I was a bit dazed from the whole ordeal that had taken place, thoughts just storming through my head like a merciless hurricane. When I entered the home, both Celeste and Emily swarmed around me, Celeste flung herself around my neck almost dragging me to the floor. "What happened!? Kevin told me you got into a car with some shady guy and-"

"I was with Jacob," I said, my voice sounding far away to my own ears.

The both of them looked at me like they saw water burning in front of their eyes, jaws dropped and their eyes were wide as a deer caught in headlights. They stammered some questions, sometimes even asking each other questions. "What happened!?"

I blinked and my cheeks flushed. "W-we hugged and-"

They squealed and trapped me in an awkward hug. "We told you he'd turn around! He's a big softy, he finally gave up on trying to fight it!"

"Yeah," I laughed a bit awkwardly. "I'm really tired, I'm calling an early night okay?"

"Sure," They both said at the same time, both sounding disappointed.

I chuckled at their curiosity and made my way up the stairs, gliding my hand along the rail, feeling the textures while my mind was far away. I washed off the make up and got rid of the stiff hairspray curls under the shower. I was feeling extremely lightheaded and exhausted, as if I had been hanging upside down all day. Letting myself fall onto the bed I tightly hugged my pillow, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I turned on my back and stared at the dark ceiling, trying to get things in order in my head. Did I really want this? This wasn't a fantasy crush anymore, something to daydream about, this was really happening. Did I still want to go home, would I go home if I got my Switcher back? Did Jacob mean all this, what made him change his mind? What about Bella? If we were going to be dating I wouldn't want him constantly around her, or worse, have him hug her to keep her warm. "Holy shit, screw Bella," I muttered, suddenly angry at her. How would I stop that from happening, what would I do if it happened!?

Shaking my head I tried to get rid of the rage I was feeling over things that might not even happen in the end. I closed my eyes and thought of how Jacob had embraced me, putting his head on my shoulder, lifting me up as if I weighed nothing more than a feather. That look in his eyes when he asked if we could talk tomorrow- wait! What did he want to talk about, did he want to take those things back? Did he want to talk about where we would go from here? Like what did that mean, was it a date, did I have to do my hair because it was a tangled mess right there and then. I fell into a somewhat peaceful sleep eventually, my thoughts kept returning to the hug we had shared, no matter how I tried to think of something else.

The next morning I woke up, feeling bewildered and wiping a whole bunch of drool off my cheek. It was already past noon and I had a vague memory of Emily and Celeste telling me they were going grocery shopping, but I wasn't quite sure if that hadn't been part of some weird dream. I got up from bed and got ready, deciding against any make up or fancy clothing, I dressed in my everyday clothes and got downstairs. I helped myself to some food before sitting on the couch and watching TV, trying to calm my nerves, when would he get here?

The thought had just entered my mind and the front door opened, I jumped but then heard the person rummage through the kitchen. Laughing, I walked into the kitchen. "Emily? Phew, I thought you were- gah!"

Jacob raised his eyebrow at me, a bemused smile playing on his lips. "You thought it was me?"

"N-no," I lied terribly. "An intruder perhaps..."

"Sure," He laughed, taking another huge bite from the apple he'd managed to find. "So, you wanna hang out? I'm on the night shift so..."

He trailed off and I swallowed loudly. "Sure! I mean, I guess?"

Was he suggesting we spend the whole day together? What if it got awkward? He smiled a bright smile and we went off to the beach first, we took off our shoes and walked along the waves. Jacob talked about the motorcycle, how he still had to let me take a ride and I nervously laughed it off, hoping he wasn't really serious about that. "So how do you like Forks anyways? It's different from Seattle isn't it?"

I had to think about his question for a moment. "It is different... from home, very different. I mean, I don't really know how or why but it has something..."

"Don't you miss the city?" He asked genuinely.

"No," I answered lightly, not actually missing the city or my apartment as much as my job. "The city is nice when you like going out or you have tons of friends that come over every other day."

"You didn't-"

I shook my head. "Not really. I was kind of a loner, still am I suppose."

Jacob nodded and chuckled, I looked at him with a sly eye. "There's nothing wrong with doing your own thing," He explained quickly.

"Guess not," I shrugged, trying to play it cool while I knew how hard it had been for me to be alone all that time. "What about you? You always want to stay here?"

"My dad won't leave this place, but it's not too bad." He said, looking off into the distance. "I'll just take some trips here and there when the time comes,"

"Sounds fun," I smiled and pointed up one finger. "If you could go anywhere, where would you go?"

"Alaska," He said straight away, no hesitation whatsoever.

I burst out laughing in surprise while he sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "No offense, but I thought you'd be running off to like... Indonesia or something! Alaska is pretty doable."

His eyebrows raised and he chuckled. "Doable?"

"Yeah, I think I'd like Alaska." I explained. "Nature is supposed to be gorgeous and untouched, there's very few people around, sounds like my kinda place."

"It's cold though," He chimed in.

"I'll just wear a pair of those fluffy socks?" I said while Jacob tilted his head a little, not really getting it. "You know? The really soft ones?"

He shook his head. "I don't think fluffy socks are gonna protect you from that kinda cold."

I laughed and made an effort to look serious. "Trust me, if fluffy socks don't do it I don't know what will."

"I do," He said, grinning at me with a boyish cheekiness.

My cheeks flushed to a bright red and I stammered through a come back, only for him to burst out laughing. I sighed and eventually joined in, having fun before I tripped over my own feet and landed face first in the sand. Jacob turned around to the thud I made and I glared at him while wiping sand from my mouth, he was laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach. I held out my hand to have him lift me up, but he was so weak from laughing I pulled him into the damp sand right next to me. He stopped laughing after a while and smiled at me, I tentatively smiled back and he squeezed the hand he was still holding onto. "This isn't weird right?"

"It's a little strange, but I don't think one should expect any different from a shapeshifter." I sighed, looking at the edge of the beach and shaking some sand from my hair. "Or maybe it's just because it's new,"

"Yeah," He agreed, his eyes shining brightly as he stared up at the clouded sky. "Hey, you wanna go for a swim?"

My eyes bulged and I stared at him. "Are you insane? The water is freezing!"

"I'll hold you, you'll be okay," He said, something in his voice sounded different.

I seriously contemplated it for a moment but when some of the water touched my toe I shook my head. "I'll pass."

"Alright then," He got up and brushed some sand of his pants before holding his hand out to me. I took it and he hoisted me up into his arms. "Hold on!"

"Wha-Jacob no! No! No!" I clung onto his warm form in the cold water and he wrapped his arms around me like yesterday. Resting his head on my shoulder again, he pressed me closer and the tension in my body fell away, I melted against him. "It's not that cold like this," I mumbled, pressing my cold cheek into his warm neck.

He shivered but I doubt it was from the cold. "I can't believe I fought against this for so long,"

I wanted to say something, but bit my lip instead. The question as to why he suddenly turned around felt hot on my tongue, but I was too afraid of the answer so I tightened my grip around his neck to signal I had heard his words and understood them. Eventually I started shivering despite Jacob's warmth and he seemed to woken up by that, leading us back to the beach where the cold air and the loss of his hug when he put me down had my teeth chattering. I rubbed my arms up and down, trying to warm them up a bit. "I could use a pair of those fluffy socks right now," I joked through my uncontrollable shaking jaw.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, I didn't-I wasn't thinking straight."

"It's fine," I laughed, secretly hoping he would take me into his arms again.

"Let's go to my place," He said, hurrying towards the car.

"The seats will get all wet," I frowned, looking at my drenched clothes.

He rolled his eyes and waved for me to hurry up. "They'll dry, come on!"

I got into the car and he quickly drove us to his place, nonchalantly telling me on the way there that his dad wouldn't be there. I raised an eyebrow at him but he swore he didn't plan anything out like that and I believed him. Inside the house he turned the heat up and got me a towel and some of his clothes to put on. I was glad he'd handed me a thick sweater because my bra was itching like crazy because of the water and sand. Quickly drying and dressing myself in his small bathroom, I was quickly warming up again. "That feels much better," I said, sitting next to him on the couch.

He send me a nervous smile and threw a blanket over me. "Here, that's gotta warm you up in no time."

In a moment of bravery and maybe even stupidity, I closed the distance between us and sat against him. He moved his arm so I could huddle even closer and I put my head softly on his chest, feeling his heart hammer against my ear. His arm wrapped around me tighter and I looked up, he was looking down at me with such a content gaze, I blushed even brighter than I already was. "W-what are we," I murmured, almost hoping he didn't hear.

"We're dating... right?" Jacob said, his voice a bit higher at the end of the question.

I nodded, satisfied with the answer. We watched TV and at some point Jacob had taken a hold of my hand, rubbing it in a very soothing way while the thumb of his other hand drew circles on my shoulder, needless to say, I was tricked into a nap. The TV was still on and the clanking sounds from the radiator were in the background, Jacob's breathing and heartbeat had become regular as well, lulling me into an even deeper sleep, knowing he was sleeping as well. I awoke, what must have been a few hours later, to him stirring and looked up, he was blushing furiously and I blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust to the sudden darkness in the room. "Why hello Bridget," A voice said, I jumped from Jacob's embrace and found Billy had come home from wherever he had been, a very amused smile on his face while his eyes moved between the two of us. "Billy," He held out his hand. "It nice to finally meet you,"

Quickly shaking his hand, I tried to regain some control over my voice. "It's eh-ahem nice to meet you too,"

"Are you staying over for dinner?" He asked, already making his way over to the kitchen.

"I-I-I," I stuttered, looking from him to a very flustered and tousled Jacob, trying to see what he wanted.

"N-no, I was just about to take her home." Jacob said, quickly getting up and walking to the bathroom to get my things. He gave me and apologetic smile and we rushed through goodbye's with his dad before leaving. "I'm sorry, did you... wanna stay for dinner?"

"I..." I wanted to spend more time with him.

"Me too," He said, smiling brightly and taking my hand. He kissed it quickly and held onto it all the way home. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'll eh wait for you to wake up after my shift ends."

I nodded and waited for him to drive off as I stood on the porch. He got out of the car and stormed up to me, once again hoisting me into his arms for a tight hug, I blushed a bright red, knowing I wasn't wearing a bra. The awkwardness soon faded and just when I felt like saying 'Hey, please move in with me' he put me down, we looked into each others eyes intently for a few moments, I thought he was going to kiss me but even though the mood was there, he kept a distance and stepped off the porch. "See you tomorrow!"

"Yeah," I said, feeling dazed from all of it. "Was that the perfect moment for a kiss?"

"It totally was, why didn't you jump his ass!?"

"Gah! Celeste! What-who- were you spying on me through the peephole?" I questioned, stepping through the front door.

She crossed her arms and look the other way. "I was just checking who was up there, that's all."

I scowled at her and shook my head. "You have issues."

Absentmindedly brushing my teeth, my mind kept going back to how Jacob hadn't even tried to kiss me yet. Maybe it was too early, but the memory of how he had jammed his mouth onto Bella's without them even dating stung in the back of my head. She was in a whole other relationship at that time too. The differences in situation were there of course, it could well be that he wanted to take things slowly and honestly, hugging him already felt so intimate. Yet, I was feeling all these doubts, the fear of being a fun thing before Bella would come back was a reoccurring fear during the night.

"Christ, I need to get a grip," I growled, slamming my head back into my pillow. Celeste and I had real jobs, I was earning real money, living a pretty good life! What we did was important to all those worlds and the people in them! Sure, I was never the perfect model of a strong personality, but at the hand of Jacob Black, everything I worked for was melting away. He either wanted me or wanted Bella! I wouldn't accept any in between actions or doubts about that. I could pursue a relationship with Jacob, but I had to, at least mentally, keep a little bit of distance between while I was fixing the story.

The next morning I visited Celeste at Paul's house, she rotated between staying with Sam and Emily and staying with him. Paul was sound asleep in the bedroom of the tiny apartment since he had just returned from the night shift. "Did they find anything about the vampire?"

Her eyes widened a bit but she shook her head. "Not that Paul's told me of, why?"

"Just asking... listen," I whispered, beckoning her to lean in. I didn't want Paul to pick up on any of this. "I need the Cullen's phone number to ask about my... you know what. Edward would look for it and you can't tell me those vampire senses haven't found my... thing if it had been there."

She too, looked between us and the bedroom door while answering. "I don't have their number, but you could go by the hospital and ask to talk to Carlisle? If he's not busy he'll surely talk to you."

I thought about it for a moment, it seemed safer than taking the bus and being in that wooded area alone, over the border. "I'll try that,"

"You're not thinking of leaving, are you?" Celeste swallowed loudly. "I-I thought things were looking up?"

"I just... want to be able to at least make the decision myself." I murmured, noticing Paul's snoring had stopped.

I pointed at the bedroom door to her and she walked over to it, opening the door slightly. "Still asleep," She whispered.

We said our goodbyes and I went off to the bus stop at the beach, the one that was the closest to their apartment. I sat down on the cold seat and checked the time, 20 minutes until the next bus should arrive, so I had plenty of time to think of what I'd say or do to get Carlisle to come and talk to me. He was the best doctor there, so he must have a busy schedule. Someone else came to wait for the bus and I payed no attention to them at all as I was deep in thought and they didn't say anything to me either, until I heard growling from the nearby bushes. I frowned and looked over, making eye contact with a familiar pair of brown eyes, looking murderously at the person next to me. In reflex I looked over at them, to see a sadistic grin, matched with the glowing red eyes. "What the hell," I whispered, trying to glide off the seat to somehow escape while under his gaze.

"Almost right," He chuckled, not moving even though I was backing away. "You girls sure have fun with the gang, does the boyfriend know of your knowledge?" My eyes widened, what had that stupid informant told him exactly? How much did he know!? "Don't worry, I don't know anything beyond the wedding. But my instincts tell me there's going to be a showdown, why don't you just tell them to avoid it?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," I murmured, still trying to back away as far as possible. I decided to warn him. "Making changes will only take a turn for the worst,"

His red eyes glistened and I thought I saw his teeth, gleaming with saliva. "Aren't you girls very...big changes?"

I blinked at his counter and he was gone. I turned around, wincing a little, expecting a blow or attack any second. It stayed away for a couple of frantic seconds, I was about to let out a breath again, thinking I was safe when I was swooped into strong arms that crushed me to a rock like chest. It took me some time to register the warmth and I realized Jacob had come to rescue me. My arms were folded against him so I couldn't hug him back, but I relaxed, knowing it was him. I felt his lips press against the top of my head and my legs buckled, making him hold me even tighter. "Are you okay?"

"Uhuh," I nodded against his chest.

Shortly after, he let go and I was met with the cold weather again. Jacob was quiet, looking defeated and absolutely exhausted, I realized he must have never stopped the shift or just come out of bed to hunt the vampire. "We're going to my place," He said, never really taking a hold of my hand but brushing past it every few seconds.

"I actually-" Had things to do. I halted the rejection of his plans, seeing his stressed out appearance in combination with dark circles under his puppy dog eyes. "Sounds good."

We walked for about twenty minutes before we got to his house, he hadn't said anything in the time we were together and I started to worry about whether or not he was suspicious of what the vampire told me, or what I told him. "My dad's out, food is those cabinets there. I'm just gonna sleep for like, an hour," He explained, brushing past my hand again before walking to his bedroom.

I felt a little awkward, sitting on his couch alone and watching TV. After about an hour and a half, Jacob hadn't gotten up yet and I didn't have the heart to wake him up. He was crazy in the first place, planning on sleeping only one hour after working all night, who would be able to live like that? After two hours I had gotten some more courage and I drank some water, very quietly moving around the living room to kitchen. When I walked back to the couch I thought I heard noise from the dark hallway and moving on the tips of my toes, I followed the strange sounds. I ended up at Jacob's room, the door was open and he was twitching in bed, his face contracted as if he were in pain, making weeping noises, almost sounding like a wounded animal. I turned to walk away again, but stopped halfway, looking back at his restless form and the sweat on his forehead. Something tugged on my heart and my fingers twitched to do something, but what? If I woke him up, he'd get out of bed and not get enough sleep, but if I didn't...

Stepping into the room, I quietly opened a window and picked up his shirt from the floor, dabbing it across his head to get rid of the sweat. I picked out a book he had lying about on the floor and sat on the edge, slowly but surely maneuvering my way over him, sitting on the bed's empty space near the wall. I opened the book on my lap and held it in my left hand, while running my fingers through his hair with the other. Almost instantly the sounds went away and I heard him sigh, his breathing became deep and even. At one point he turned towards me, his eyes half open for a second, before putting his head in my lap and wrapping his arms around my legs. I chuckled and caressed his face and neck, trying to stay clear of his bare back, because I didn't want it to seem like I was fondling him in his sleep.

I constantly found myself looking down at Jacob, sound asleep on my lap and the content feeling of having people around me again. At home, I lived for my job, which was fine as long as I stayed there, but at the end of the day you have to go back home. I didn't know how long it had been, but I finished the book and sat back, still running through his dark hair and petting his face. A smile started to appear and I stopped while his eyes fluttered open, his body stiffened for a moment but then he realized it was me. "Bridget? What-what time is it?" He asked, hurriedly sitting up and looking around.

"Ehm," I opened my mouth to answer him, but realized I didn't know either. "No idea,"

"How long have you been here?" He asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"A couple of hours?" I answered, looking at the darkening sky outside. "Maybe?"

Jacob smiled at first, before something in his eyes changed and my stomach was suddenly riddled with butterflies. The way he looked at me, his eyes glazed over by something other than affection, he scooted closer in one swift movement. My eyes fell onto his bare chest, making a shiver run up my spine while I told myself not to stare, I looked back up, meeting his intense gaze once more. My breathing sped up and I felt my own eyes change as he moved closer, we laid down next to each other. He softly caressed my face and as he ran his thumb over my lips I couldn't help but kiss it tentatively, because I knew what I wanted and with that, he knew it too. He held my face in his hands and I moved my body against his, the contact making him gasp. He all but jammed his mouth onto mine, unable to wait any longer. The kiss was wild and awkward at first, Jacob was aggressive while I was timid, his teeth hit mine and I winced at the strange feeling. Trying to slow him down I pulled back, he looked at me with hurt and questioning eyes, opening his mouth to say something. I smiled and kissed him again, softly, while courageously caressing his toned side and then his chest. He shivered so extremely I hesitated, I could feel him hard against my leg, he couldn't help it but I didn't want to lead him on, thinking this was going further than I was prepared for it to go.

One of his hands moved across my back and he pressed me even closer, he whimpered and I knew he was just looking for some relieve but I forced myself to stop. I kissed him softly one more time, then a second time, a third time just because. Every time I moved back we looked at each other and I couldn't help but give into one more kiss. I eventually let out a loud breath and pressed my face into his neck, he hugged me tightly and I felt his heartbeat against my chest. He twitched against my thigh and a suddenly horrified Jacob jumped off the bed, only to realize he had now given me a full view of what was going on in his pants, he covered himself and turned around. My face was beet red as his had darkened greatly. "I-I'm sorry, crap eh- I don't know what-"

"I-It's fine!" I said quickly, getting off the bed and walking up to him, he didn't turn around. "Maybe I should go home?"

"No!" I jumped and he shook his head, his face was apologetic. "N-no, I just...I don't want you to think I took you here for-for these kinds of things..."

"I-I know," I smiled shyly at the floor, my cheeks still burning brightly.

"It's only six," Jacob started. "You wanna have dinner and then maybe catch a movie together?"

I hesitated, looking at my bewildered form in the mirror. Hair flipping everywhere but down, some leftover mascara had smudged underneath my eye and my clothes were made for comfort, not a date. "Ehmm-"

"You look beautiful," He answered my doubts breathlessly and I caught his eye in the mirror, he had that loving look in them, that sparkle.

"Well, alright."

I could always continue the search for my Switcher tomorrow. Right?

The only thing keeping his eyes off me was the road ahead of us and the fact that he was driving the car, any moment it seemed like he had the chance he looked over at me, grinning with boyish pride. It seemed that when he wasn't doing wolf business or busy with Bella, he was much more a boy rather than the grumpy man he sometimes portrayed himself as. I liked the grinning Jacob, the one that with innocence had still kissed me so passionately. Thinking back to the kiss I blushed and squirmed, I wanted to do it again, I wanted to be with him like that every day. It was a crush, a stupid crush but then he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes, I melt, my world shifts, I feel so complete. As if knowing my line of thought, Jacob took a hold of my hand and I felt my mind calm down again. When he wasn't angry, he had this air about him, a relaxed but strong aura that kept me calm without him even having to say anything. Could I really blame myself for falling for him? He was everything I wished for. Maybe I didn't need the choice of being able to leave, maybe I could make the choice now.

Jacob stopped the car and turned towards me. "We're he-"

My lips met his once more, the feeling of his soft lips made mine tingle and he cupped my face with one of his hands. He was holding back, probably because I had non verbally suggested he had been too rough before, but this time I wanted a little more. I deepened the kiss, nibbling on his bottom lip, making him groan and flick his tongue against mine. It felt like I was in the right hands, like I didn't have to worry about anything anymore, because he was there. "Sorry," I mumbled, sitting back.

He kept his eyes closed before opening one. "It's okay, you can go on."

I laughed at that and playfully pushed his face away, he grinned so genuinely, my heart melted. "What movie are we even here to watch?"

"Ehmm we'll just decide inside," He said before stepping out of the car.

We ended up watching a cute little movie about a dog, Jacob probably didn't see much of it since he was looking at me, or kissing my hand or hugging me close. I was a little surprised by all the affection he was suddenly giving me, sometimes it was a little out of place but then I thought of how he had never actually had a girlfriend, he had since he was 15 or even earlier, gone for Bella. It was cute how he wanted to hold my hand and hug me, of course he wanted to. He felt the same stuff as me, probably even more extreme than me. Maybe Jacob was the right choice for me, if he would be like this forever I'd marry him tomorrow. "You like the movie?" He asked on the ride back home.

"Yeah it was nice," I murmured, feeling extremely tired from the whole day. "I'm glad the dog didn't die."

"Me too," He said, but there was something different in his tone. "W-what did that bloodsucker mean by 'Aren't you girls big changes'? What did you tell him?"

"I..." I paused, it felt like the right moment to tell him everything but something inside me stopped me just in time. It felt unfair, he had shared everything with me, we were in a relationship... shouldn't I just tell him? Bella had been gone for longer than was described in the books, there was a huge chance she wasn't even pregnant. "I don't remember, I was just saying things to keep him from hurting me."

Jacob squeezed my hand tightly and growled through his teeth. "He won't ever hurt you Bridget."

Guilt flooded my mind, I had a feeling all my secrets would be thrown out there one day and it wouldn't be pretty.