Why was this happening? Why was it that just when I thought I had my life in order, something like this goes and happens? Never in my life had I ever thought this kind of thing would be happening to me, it felt like something out of a bad soap opera…

"Neela…" I hear his voice call my name from what seemed like miles away. Where was I? Where was he? It was so dark here…my eyes were open but I may as well keep them closed…or were they closed? I couldn't tell…and why wouldn't my arms work? My mind began to work quickly, panicking at the state I was in. Was I paralyzed? Would I ever be able to move again? Open my eyes? See his beautiful face looking down at me? I could feel myself being lifted off the ground now and set on a less hardened surface that smelled like him…felt someone laying there beside me, arms wrapped around me and my panic mind began to calm suddenly at his touch, and I found myself once again slipping into the realm of sleep.

"Son of a bitch…" I heard Michael's voice ring out in my head, then the shot, the blood everywhere, holding Ray's limp body in my arms…I had almost lost him…my dream begins to meld with the reality and I hear the gun go off again, I feel the bullet dig into me, but instead of Michael standing over me, this time I see Sam staring down at me with angry dead eyes, a scowl on her features. "You couldn't leave well enough alone could you?" she asks anger in her voice "You had to have Ray…no matter what. You're husband is dead, Ray was shot…and me…well it looks like there's yet another man in this E.R who just forgot me for another woman…" She shakes her head, obviously holding back tears "Well I hope you had fun…"

Another shot is heard and I sit straight up in the bed, blinking and looking around the room quickly, my hands moving to my chest, checking for any bullet wounds and finding none. I sigh with relief and run my hands through my hair, turning to look at Ray, who was sleeping soundly beside me, a smile forming on my lips…that was until I looked up to see Sam sitting at his side, tears in her eyes. I jump back a little, knowing my violent dreams seemed to have a knack for coming at least partly true as of late, and I was through with guns and bullets…had my fill for the next millennium.

"Sam…" I speak quietly

She shakes her head, her blonde hair coming loose, and falling into her face. "Don't Neela…" she speaks quietly "Nothing you can say will…" a tear slips down her cheek and I am immediately filled with incredible guilt. Ray had been with Sam, much as they both insisted they weren't dating, I could tell she cared for him.

"Sam I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" I try, once again cut off by a shake of the blonde's head

"No Neela. You are the one he wants. You were always the one he wanted…part of me knew that when I was with him I just…never thought…" she sighs and looks down, taking a deep breath before standing to her feet. "Be good to him." She says quietly "After all he's been through, he deserves it."



Before I can reply, she quickly leaves the room, and I am left sitting up in the hospital bed, Ray sleeping soundly next to me. I felt bad for Sam, I really did. First Luka moves on and gets Abby pregnant two seconds after Sam left him, and now I stole Ray right from under her. But part of me, the joyous happy part of me that was glad to finally have Ray with me kept telling the guilty part that she would get over it. She was a big girl, and Ray made his choice. She had been a lot more mature about it then Michael had. Another pang of guilt echoes in my heart at the thought of Michael, my husband…now lying dead on a metal slab in the morgue because of his stupid jealous selfishness. I swallow and move to get up, but a voice stops me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, after all the fainting you've been doing lately."

I frown and glance to the door, still closed no one standing there, then look back to Ray, frown disappearing, transforming into a wide grin. I lay back down, head on his chest, and he wraps an arm around me, holding me tight to him.

"Well, you are a doctor so you are probably right. I'm just so weak…I don't think I should EVER get up from this spot right here…" I reply, closing my eyes

"Dam straight." He replies, kissing the top of my head lightly, brushing my bangs away from my face.

I open my eyes and look back up at him, smile still plaguing my face. Suddenly I am filled with the incredible urge to kiss him, which for once I do not repress.

He kisses me back lovingly, pulling away only when he needed to catch his breath. He grins down at me. "Only problem with that plan is Luka told me I could go home as soon as you woke up…"

I laugh and nod "Yeah…well I'm sure I can last standing until we get home…your bed was always more comfortable then mine…"

He grins and kisses my forehead "Yeah it has hasn't it?" he laughs "And when we get there, if you are feeling up to it, you Dr Rasgotra can look me over, make sure everything still…works."

I grin back at him, leaning up to kiss him once again, this one deeper, more passionate, showing him I wanted nothing more then to get back to the apartment and make sure he was still… "In working order" "Well then, what are we waiting for?" I ask slyly.

"You to get off me…." Ray replies smartly "But, no rush there…"

We once again share a deep passionate kiss, my heart swelling in my chest, my mind perfectly at ease now. This was the way things were SUPPOSED to be, Ray and I were together, no one was stepping in our way…



And I had never been so happy in my entire life.