Peeta smelt it in the air before he saw it, the billowing cloud of smoke drifting through the trees. Thom hadn't noticed as he'd plundered on further in the trees. But Peeta saw it. Saw the air thick with the smoke and his heart ached.
She was here.
He knew it. He could feel it coursing through him like a freight train. He spun on his heel and headed towards it, shouting for Thom but not truly caring if he followed or not. She was there.
He headed downwards to where it seemed to be growing from. Through the trees he could see the sunlight glinting ahead. Water? He hadn't even considered water being in this forest apart from the streams and the creeks he'd been splashing through.
The dense moist air hung around him as the rain petered out. He kept walking towards the glinting lake.
And then he was there; his vision snapping back and forth, side to side. To the right of him were more dense trees. To the left, a broken down cottage.
A cottage with a chimney of smoke drifting upwards and being pushed through the trees.
Peeta took off towards it, his heart pumping too slowly to keep up with his mind. She was there, she was there! Faintly, he heard footsteps behind him but Peeta didn't care. He stumbled on a fallen tree stump and crashed into the edge of the lake. Pulling himself quickly back to his feet, his clothes dripping with mud, he was off again as his bones ringed from the impact. He didn't care. She was there.
His name snapped across the forest as Thom breached the tree line. He didn't turn around.
His palm's itched as he pushed on the door and swung it open.
Peeta was met with the tip of an arrow at his chest, the bow poised to shoot. His mind reeled, his eyes went dark and his heart skipped a beat. Or two.
"Katniss," her name was like a whisper floating around them as they both stood still, tension strung like the bow in her hands. Her hair was mangled in her braid and her face was grimy. She looked ragged and her eyes were hollow. She was beautiful. His breath returned as he lifted a hand towards her.
"What are you doing here?"
That hadn't been what he'd expected. It should have been, but he'd just thought... No, he didn't have a right to make an assumption. Peeta could hear the footsteps crashing behind him and another familiar voice rose up in the distance. Gale hadn't wasted any time in tracking them.
"I thought you were...I... Katniss," his eyes pleaded. He didn't have any right to her forgiveness but he sought it anyways. She still held the bow to his chest. He wished she'd let the arrow fly.
She looked down and in that moment, Peeta saw the hesitation and he put his hand on the bow forcing it to the floor. She didn't resist as her hands let it drop and he pulled at her fiercely, his arms wrapping her up so tight. He wouldn't let go. He couldn't let go.
His face settled into the crook of her neck as he gasped for air against her. Her body shook gently and they slumped to the floor. He clutched at her and she crawled into him closer.
Thom appeared at the doorway and breathed out a heavy sigh, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe. He must have run around the lake. Thom turned away from the sight and began walking out from the cottage again as Peeta heard him call out to Gale who was somewhere still in the forest.
They remained there for a moment, holding to one another as though they would be ripped apart at any moment.
Peeta's mind raced with all of the stories that his imagination had created in the time that she was gone. There were no shiny edges to these thoughts, no Capitol hint of hatred. He crushed them and filled the emptiness with memories of her. The good memories that he could remember. Her red dress. Her singing voice. Her pigtails when they were younger. His arms tightened around her again and he realized they were both crying.
In the background he could hear deep voices talking in the distance. Peeta heard the quiet footsteps approach but he ignored them. He couldn't let go just yet.
And then he wasn't alone holding her. Solid arms wrapped around them both as Gale sat with them. They were a ball of mashed limbs and Peeta had never known relief like this.
"Oh God, Catnip. Do you even realize?" Gale was muttering as they all held together. "Do you know how worried we were?" He continues on his answerless questions. Peeta doesn't need to chime in, it's like his thoughts are mirrored. His appreciation for this man, his rival, soars. If he were to die right now he knows she would continue on because she would have Gale.
Minutes pass as they settle into silence. Gale pulls back and Peeta can see the red rim in his eyes that speak of sorrow and tears. Peeta leans back as well but keeps Katniss' hand in his – he won't let her go. Not yet. He only just found her again.
Peeta knows he's found not only her physically, but what he'd seen in her before. For the first time since the Quell he isn't drowning in black.
Katniss looks between the two men in front of her and she smiles sadly. What was she thinking?
"Catnip, why?" It's such a simple request but Gale's voice chokes on the words. Peeta watches her carefully as her hand tenses in his. She lifts her face and he can see her broken mind struggling to piece it together.
"I don't know; I just wanted to live in the woods. My Dad and I used to come out here all the time to swim and scavenge. I guess I just wanted to be somewhere where I was loved." Peeta's heart breaks inside. He made her feel unloved, abandoned.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," Peeta whispered. Gale stared at him intently; Peeta could see his mind racing to figure out whether it had happened again. Whether he had reason to kill him.
"You told me to never come back, Peeta. And you Gale," she said, raising her voice slightly, "You left on the train and never said goodbye!" She was shaking again. Both men looked at the floor guiltily.
"I did Katniss, I did say goodbye. You just weren't able to hear me." Peeta knew it was true.
She looked at the floor. It was such a tangled web and the tension was growing.
"Haymitch is worried sober," it's the only thing he can think of to lighten the mood. Katniss meets his eyes.
"He's never sober."
"He is when he thinks you've gone and gotten yourself lost in the woods, love," he mutters the endearment before he realizes he's said it. Gale clears his throat and looks around awkwardly.
"Well maybe if he hadn't been such an ass."
Peeta uses the moment of quiet to look around the small wooden shelter. The hearth of the fire is stoked and there's a small pot of boiling water and a spit of squirrel. She'd been surviving just fine despite how ragged she looked. She probably wasn't sleeping well, he thought, as his eyes glanced at the small sleeping bag near the fire. It would be too cold soon to stay out here in only that. He needed her to come home. He'd drag her if he had to. Gale would probably help.
"Will you come back with me? With us?" Peeta corrected, he could see the fading light shining through the single window and knew they'd have to leave soon. She met his gaze and frowned.
"Katniss, Mom brought the kids, they want to see you." There, Peeta knew, the ultimate weapon. Gale had really pulled out all the stops. He'd brought family.
ø
The hike out wasn't nearly as daunting as the hike in, Peeta thought. He'd trailed slightly behind Katniss and Gale as they'd moved towards town, letting them talk quietly ahead of him. He didn't have it in him to be jealous – he knew Gale was the better man in this scenario.
When they reached the edge of the forest Peeta saw all the lights on in her house, could feel the radiating energy. He looked towards his dark windows and knew it was the story of his life. They gravitated towards the light before Peeta broke off without them noticing as he began heading towards Haymitch's cluttered yard.
He didn't bother knocking, instead entering and calling out. Haymitch returned the call from his couch not even bothering to get up.
"We found her Haymitch, she was living in this old broken down cabin that she used to go to with her father," Haymitch met his eyes as he said it, gauging his mood.
"Where is our Mockingjay now? Did she choose the forest creatures over you?" His words cut.
"She's with Gale and his family. He came to help find her."
"Oh," he nodded. Peeta dropped down into the chair across the room, his body aching from the days of searching. They sat in silence for a while recognizing that neither of them had been enough to fill Katniss' familial void.
"She chose to keep living, Haymitch. She really did." It was all he could say to comfort them. Haymitch nodded and got up to search for a bottle in the kitchen. Peeta frowned. It was as though not much had really changed. He got up to return to his home and go to sleep – something he'd been dearly lacking over the past few days.
She was there already, waiting for him. He didn't know what it meant when she wrapped him in an embrace so tight that he could barely breathe. His heart stuttered and slowly his arms returned the favour.
"I didn't want to go but you said you didn't want me," her voice was broken. This Katniss was not the scowling girl from before the Games. She was the returning Victor, the Mockingjay, the broken girl who was too strong to die.
"I just wanted to stop hurting you. All I could see was that I was hurting you, or remembering how I wanted to hurt you. When you disappeared... I haven't had a relapse in days. All I could think about was you and how I didn't want you to go, not really." He held her closer and pressed a kiss to her neck. Their bodies were pressed together so tightly that they could feel each other's heartbeats.
Peeta pulled back slightly and met her eyes, noticing that her cheeks were stained with tears. He lowered his lips and kissed them away. There was no blackness threatening him now. She smiled sadly up at him.
"I need you so much Peeta. I won't live without you."
They were quiet for a while, holding and comforting, neither of them wanting to speak the words that would bind them.
Soon, too soon, Katniss let go and placed her palm on his cheek. "I need to get back. I promised Posy I'd play a game before bedtime. Do you want to come?" He hesitated, unsure of how much Hazelle knew and how comfortable Gale would be with him around his siblings, knowing what he'd done.
"If Gale doesn't mind, I'd like that very much." Katniss grinned.
"He will mind, but it's my house." She pulled his hand and they made their way next door.
Hazelle met them in the kitchen and looked Peeta over with a knowing stare. Peeta frowned and looked at the ground - guilty. He wasn't expecting the hug or the kind words that she whispered in his hear, "Thank you for bringing her home."
It wasn't an accusation at all. She let go and stepped back as Gale sauntered in. Seeing Peeta his grin faltered but he didn't say anything. His eyes lowered to his and Katniss' clasped hands and his frown deepened.
"We're in the front room. Posy has the whole game setup. She wants it to be girls against boys," he said motioning them through the kitchen, Peeta and Katniss followed.
A new kind of Game was on.