Max is sitting with her legs on either side of the chair with her arms folded over the back rest. She's watching Lydecker as she has her chin resting on her arms.
Watching the man that she was running from for 10 years now lying before her in a broken state brings a strange feeling.
The night in that cheap hotel quickly runs across her mind.
"You're special to me Max, I hope that you know that."
Lydecker's voice echoes in her mind.
A deep intake of breath draws her attention as Lydecker is starting to wake up. She is hoping that he won't be too upset.
Opening his eyes, he looks around the room with half lidded eyes. He's still heavily affected by the sedatives. His eyes finds Max sitting next to him and then he just stares at her. A while later his eyes slowly falls shut again.
He seemed relaxed the moment he saw Max, like he was safe.
An hour later Lydecker opens his eyes. He blinks and then looks through the room. The sedatives has pretty much cleared now.
Turning his head, he spots Max leaning against the wall by the window looking out onto the streets of Terminal City.
For a moment he wonders if the other transgenics are aware that she is harboring their most hated enemy in the world right here among them.
"You're awake." Max sees that Lydecker is staring at her in the reflection of the window. Turning around, she makes her way over to him and then sits down on the chair next to the bed.
He slowly blinks but he just keeps looking at her in silence.
"Do you have pain?" Max asks and then waits for a delayed response which is a slightly shake of his head.
Lydecker then realizes that his hand is feeling different. Lifting his left hand that had the brace on it, he looks at his hand that only has a bandage on it now.
"It could come off. The bones are healed." Max comments as she watches him as he looks at his hand like he doesn't want it attached to himself.
"It's all fixed now." Max tries to let him understand that the hand won't be the same problem as it was a few hours ago.
Looking around the room again, Lydecker starts breathing deeply, almost like he is going into panic.
"Hey." Max carefully tries to get his attention but Lydecker then starts moving into a sitting position pushing himself to sit up against the wall as he gives a grunt of pain.
"It's ok." Max takes a seat on the bed next to Lydecker to get his attention.
Lydecker turns to look at Max. He is still breathing deeply and he has a slight bewildered look in his eyes. Like a man that is busy running for his life.
"Do you want some water?" Max tries to draw his attention to something else.
He frowns almost like he has to think about the question. He then gives a nod.
"Here." Max takes a glass of water that has been sitting next to the bed.
Taking the glass from Max, the glass shakes as Lydecker's grip is trembling. After taking a few sips, Max puts the glass down again.
It seems like he has calmed down a bit but he is still looking around the room as if he is expecting someone to come in at any moment and drag him away.
Trying to reassure him, Max reaches out to touch his shoulder but Lydecker thinking that she is going to touch his bandaged hand - one of the main causes of his pain and suffering - he hastily pulls it away.
"Please, please don't." A panicked tone and then he swallows. "Please…" His voice trails off into a whisper.
Max draws her hand back. She feels a slight stab of pain at the rejection of her touch. He knows that she won't do anything to hurt him, doesn't he trust her?
"I will give you some time to rest." Max drops her eyes and looks away as she stands up.
"Please don't go." Lydecker abruptly speaks.
Looking back at Lydecker, he has dropped his head as not to look at her.
"Please don't go." A whisper, a plea.
Slowly Max sits back down again.
Lydecker slightly turns his head in her direction but he doesn't make eye contact.
"Thank you." He whispers.
There's a moment of silence.
"Thank you." A soft whisper.
After a long time in silence, besides Lydecker's heavy breathing, Max speaks.
"Get some sleep." She can see that he is struggling to sit up and keep his eyes open.
There's a slight shake of his head. "Nightmares."
Watching him, Max thinks to herself that it seems so impossible that the person of their nightmares has nightmares himself.
Max watches as Lydecker struggles to keep sitting up and he seems too weak to move into a better position. A moment later Max gets up and then sits down next to Lydecker so that her shoulder is holding him up.
Pushed up against him, she can feel the shivers and trembling running through his body.
Looking down, Lydecker looks at his own hands trembling and then he recalls how many times he saw the transgenics from Manticore trembling like that.
Is this how his kids felt like all their lives?
What has he done…?
Slightly turning to Max, Lydecker was about to say something but then he keeps quiet deciding against it.
He wants to say sorry to Max. Sorry for everything that he has done. To her. To all of them. But if his torturers were to say sorry to him, he wouldn't want to hear it, he wouldn't believe it…so why should Max?
...
Lydecker is being dragged down those dreaded familiar halls again. Dragged to that familiar room again, the one with a table with restraints on it. And so he is forcefully placed in that same familiar chair again, ankles and arms fastened and then the two male nurses shuts the door behind them.
It's like this just about every time. They leave him alone for some time before the doctors or that other guy with the brown hair comes in. It's like it's part of the torturing process, to let him think upon what is going to happen to him next.
The door opens and the same familiar guy with the brown hair steps in and following after him the two men who brought him there.
…Who always brings him here.
And then just like on queue the door opens and a trolley is wheeled in, again with needles on it.
His fingers really can't take any more of this. His mind can't take any more of this.
"Open your hands." The doctor commands. But Lydecker keeps his hands closed in fists. He knows what comes next, he is going to be prodded in his side and then they will open his hands. But he is going to get the pain anyway, so he might as well give them the irritation.
After the one guy did stick his prod into Lydecker's side, the doctor then continues to open his hands and examines his fingers.
"They're not healed yet." The doctor gives his finding to the man with brown hair.
"Option 2 then." The man simply states as he takes a seat across from Lydecker.
"Just tell us what you have done with Manticore's back-up disks that you took from White's camp and there won't have to be that much pain today." The man makes it sound like it's so simple.
"I told you, it was in my SUV when I was pushed off the road into the river." That's the story and he is sticking to it as he tries to sell it to them again. Of course it's not, the first thing he did was go and stash them away somewhere.
The man exhales and then motions to the doctor.
The next moment he is violently pushed down onto the table with his cheek pressed rather painfully into the stainless steel table.
"Last chance." The man casually folds his hands.
"Screw you." That's the last words out of Lydecker's mouth before he realizes what option 2 is.
The doctor's gloved hand is placed on the side of his head and with the other hand he is pushing the needle into Lydecker's ear. The moment the needle punctures and pushes through his ear drum, he starts screaming.
The needle is then painfully pulled out and Lydecker's breathing has a relieved sound to it.
"Where's the disks, Deck?" The man calmly asks looking down at the man who once was the Director of Manticore.
When there is no answer, the doctor continues to push the needle into another part of his eardrum. Again there is screaming because the pain is far worse now.
The needle is again pulled out. This time there is no relief because Lydecker knows that it's not the end.
"Where are they Colonel Lydecker?" The man's tone has a sing-sing edge to it. A mocking edge.
With no reaction, the doctor again pushes the needle into his hear into another part of the eardrum. This time the pain is a hundred fold and Lydecker tries to jerk but can't as there are too many restraints holding him down. He screams.
The needle is pulled out again.
"Where are the…"
"I don't know!" Before the man can ask the question again, Lydecker shouts with an unsteady tone which is then followed by deep breaths trying to fight his way through the pain. "I don't know!"
"We don't believe you." The man simply states.
"I don't know!" Lydecker angrily screams again.
The man then gets up and turns for the door. "Make sure that ear doesn't work for a long time." He tells the doctor before he leaves the room.
"No, no!...!" Lydecker screams as the doctor brings the needle closer even before he has touched him.
"Lydecker!"
He suddenly jerks awake, his breathing is completely haywire and he is terrified.
Lydecker had fallen asleep leaning against Max but then about an hour later he started jerking and then started screaming no, no…
Frantically looking around the apartment, Lydecker's tone is panicked. "I need to get out."
"You are out." Max tries to calm his fears but it doesn't seem to register with him. She then moves to sit on the edge of the bed in front of him so that he can look at her.
"Lydecker." He is still looking around as if Max is not even there.
She then places her hand on his shoulder to draw his attention and he quickly turns to look at the hand on his shoulder and then he follows the arm attached to that hand, until he looks up at Max.
"You are out." Max calmly reassures him.
It takes a moment to sink in, then Lydecker starts blinking and his breathing slows down like he has just realized that it was just a nightmare. He then brings up his right hand and carefully cups it over his ear.
Max notes that is the ear with the raptured ear drum and then she wonders what they did to him.
He then moves his hand to cover his eyes, like he's ashamed. Max wants to tell him that it's ok, but he will only tell her it's not. So she just lets him have a moment, all the while her hand still on his shoulder hoping that it's providing some level of comfort.
Lydecker's breathing then turns hitched, almost like he is trying to hold back sobbing. "They stuck needles into my ear." A broken whisper.
Max just looks at him in silence as she can only imagine what kind of pain that could be like.
"They wanted to know what I've done with Manticore's back-up disks." Lydecker keeps his eyes covered with his hand.
Suddenly Max remembers the disks that Renfro showed her and told her that all of Manticore's information and research was on it. And if anything were to happen to Manticore, she just had to leave with the disks and they could start all over again somewhere else.
"How did you get it?" Max asks as the last place she saw it was when Renfro arrogantly dropped it into her own handbag.
"I stole it from White's base in the woods just outside of Manticore." Lydecker's tone turns a bit more calm and it sounds like he is getting a grip.
"I told them that it was in my SUV when they pushed me into the river but they wouldn't believe me." His breathing picks up again as panic seeps in, he then drops his hand from his face and looks up at Max.
Looking at Max, he seems to calm down again. "But it didn't matter, even if they did believe me…" He slowly blinks. "…the pain wouldn't have stopped anyway."
"So the disks are sleeping somewhere with the fishes." Max states as she thinks about it. Those disks can be a major problem in the wrong hands.
"No."
Max frowns as she looks at him.
"I hid it somewhere in the woods." Lydecker then looks down. "But by the time I cracked and told them, I couldn't remember where in the woods." He then looks back up at Max. "That didn't help me much."
A moment later he speaks again. "I don't know if they ever found it or not."
The next moment, Lydecker draws a deep panicked breath as he bring his left bandaged hand up as if he suddenly remembered he still had it.
"Pain, I've got pain." He then starts looking around the room again as if he is expecting someone else to be there, ready to hurt him.
"The drip is empty." Max looks up at the flat bag of morphine. She did bring an extra one with. So she drops her hand from Lydecker's shoulder and moves to stand up when he suddenly grabs hold of her.
"Don't leave." Lydecker then suddenly looks down at his hand where he grabbed hold of Max. A confused expression finds its way onto his face. It's like he is surprised that he could grab hold of her. It's like he didn't expect her to really be there.
Did he think that she was a hallucination?
Max leans forward a bit to get his attention. "It's ok, I'm here."
Lydecker looks up at Max with a slight bewildered look. "Where am I?"
"You're in Terminal City." Max carefully answers. "You've been here for the last 7 weeks." Has he forgotten?
After silently looking back at Max, he gets his breathing under control. He then starts looking around the room again but not expecting someone to be there but just making sure. His grip on Max starts slipping but then he takes hold again. Almost like he doesn't want to let go.
"Ok." Lydecker nods to himself and takes a deep breath.
"Ok." He then slowly let's go of Max and pulls his hand away as if he has just realized that he is holding onto her and that he isn't supposed to.
Lydecker ducks his head, he is ashamed of Max seeing him like this.
"I'm just going to get the morphine." Max softly tells him as she watches him. It's like his mind is swaying on the edge of reality and there's no telling on which side he is on.
When Max returns with the drip, Lydecker is still sitting up against the wall. He seems to have calmed down. She then proceeds to hook the drip onto the rail and then she sits down on the bed. She then holds out her hand to Lydecker.
He stares at her hand as he realizes it's the same hand that has the bandage on it that has the drip in it.
"I can do a new one on your other arm…" Max tries to offer but she is cut off.
"No…no." It's not a panicked reaction like before but rather a tone of trust. He then slowly turns his hand over and holds it out to Max.
Max then proceeds to carefully insert the pipe into the drip.
"They…" Lydecker lifts his other hand and touches his forehead. "They injected me with stuff that messed with my mind."
There's a secret snort in the back of Max's mind. How about try being strapped down onto a cold steel chair, psychoactives pumped into you and then a laser shining into your eye and then being winded up like a toy soldier….
Max glances up at Lydecker.
But they were being built into soldiers. What was done to Lydecker was to break him. Those methods differ.
"I started seeing things that was not real." Lydecker's tone is calm but lost as he's staring down blankly.
"My wife was there sometimes."
It's a faint whisper but Max heard it clearly.
"Sometimes…it was you." Lydecker keeps staring blankly at nothing as his voice is still a faint whisper. Like no one is supposed to know about it.
Max looks up at him and the expression on his face is almost like they were there to haunt him.
"Anyone else?" Max's softly asks, more out of curiosity.
There's a short silence.
"No. No one else was that special." Lydecker is still staring away.
There's that word special…
Looking at Lydecker, he looks like a sickly man that hasn't slept in days. He needs sleep but he can't sleep. She's sure if she goes and checks in the infirmary she can find psychotropic meds that can help with that. If not, she can always source some. She'll maybe just check with doctor Carr.
TBC...