Jem's hand was locked in Tessa's, she pulled him along up to the front of the institute as if pulling a young child to school, he was reluctant to leave the tree in the park, and was confused as to why they had to depart, Tessa wasn't too sure either. But she had to follow Will, there was something wrong, something that put Jem in danger; that much she knew. She felt him stop, holding her back from entering the old church, his iron grip keeping her in her place. He didn't seem very weak.

"Tessa, what's happening?" He asked a look of innocence on his face, his sad eyes staring into her own, the colour of the stars, right before they faded into daytime.

"Jem you're not-"

"I know I'm not well Tessa, I'm dying." He said frankly, letting go of her hand. She noticed Alec's shoulders stiffen, he was stood in front of her waiting for them to join Isabelle and himself inside but now he examined Jem intently. He didn't smile, or offer condolences, he walked straight ahead and inside, Tessa was grateful that he didn't bother. "I mean why did we come back so suddenly?"

"I don't know, honestly I would tell you if I knew." Tessa said, "Will knows, that's why he came back but as for yet we don't know why he returned."

Jem wiped his cheeks again, his eyebrows furrowing together, "Why am I crying?" He asked, a look of worry flashed across his face as he realised it was not proper for him to cry in front of Tessa for no apparent reason. But she knew that there was a reason. Had he forgotten? She could see the bones in his face, he had always been slight but now he seemed ghostly, his eyes were deeper into his head casting dark shadows onto his cheeks which melted into the dark shade that lay underneath his cheekbones. His lips were pink and dry. She longed to be back home so much, she was tempted to see if she could cast that damn portal herself and go home, but she didn't even know if it was a portal. She felt frustration build up inside of her and she clenched her hands into fists at her sides

"Jem, do you recall the conversation we just had?" He shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes. "By the tree?"

"No, I don't remember anything." He looked as if he was about to cry again, his lower lip trembling slightly. "What did we say?" She took hold of his hand again, feeling every bone move and click as his fingers wound around hers tightly, so tight, her knuckles turned white but she didn't dare loosen her grip.

"You were talking about the colours of the tree, the sky, the leaves, where you find all of the brightness in this place, when you have none of it yourself." She paused, letting the silence of the moment engulf her."How much you learn to appreciate things when they're absent. But you never lost it, it might not look like it, but you are all colours and light James Carstairs." She brushed her lips against his cheek, and he smiled a warm beam back at her. She had never said that to him, no matter how true that it was she hadn't had the strength to say it whilst she watched her fiancée break down in front of her, she wished that she had.

They found Will by the door of Magnus and Alec's room. He was stood talking to the warlock with a dangerous expression plastered across his face and a seraph blade hung limply at his side, its shine fading. Jace was stood with them his arms folded in front of his chest, looking at Will with great meaning, they looked nothing alike. They were complete opposite in appearance but their personalities were uncanny as Tessa had discovered the in past few days, but she had yet to get to know Jace. She hoped that she wouldn't have to and they would be home soon but by the sorry look on Clary's face, who had appeared beside her, they had no such luck.

Will's head whipped round as he saw Jem, his eyes locked with Tessa's for a moment and she couldn't drop her gaze from staring into the blue of his eyes, it was selfish of her but she couldn't help it. Stop it, she scorned herself, you shouldn't indulge in such things when Jem needs you. But she knew she shouldn't indulge in them at all. "Jem," Will rushed over to his parabatai, looking him up and down, "I am so sorry."

"What for?" Jem asked confused, Will looked at Tessa, his mouth hanging open and she shook her head, telling him that Jem was oblivious. "What's going on?"

Will stuttered, "Come on." He pushed Jem around and the two of them strode off down the hall.

"Would somebody like to tell me what's going on?" Isabelle added, but she was ignored by Tessa who was watching the two best friends walking off down the hall. They looked so different in these clothes; younger and they both walked with such composure that they looked like walking angels, which in some manner they were.

"We should explain to them Tessa." Magnus said.

"Where's Simon?" He wanted to know, she remembered and he had been so nice to her that for some reason she felt like she owed it to him but also it was comforting when he was around, she could see why Clary was best friends with him and she became slightly envious. It would be nice to have a best friend, she thought not counting Jem and Will in the equation when things were too dangerous and easily broken.

"He had to go home, this is hallowed ground." Clary said, "Usually he waits outside but who knows how long we'll be now."

"He waits for all that time?" She saw Magnus sigh as he realised that she was putting off the conversation about Jem.

"He has forever." Isabelle shrugged as if the sentiment meant nothing. Those few minutes waiting outside of a church really did mean nothing when you had the rest of time stretched in front of you, but still she felt sorry for him.

"We need to tell them, don't be unfair Tessa." Magnus said, gesturing for her to explain.

"You think this is unfair on them, have you seen Jem in the past few minutes? I couldn't think of anything more unfair than being tortured in front of your parents and forced to live a life where making yourself healthy will kill you long before you deserve to die. That's unfair Magnus." She touched her angel for comfort, suddenly ashamed by her short outburst. "What did you do?"

"I'll explain everything," He said, "Leave it to me Miss. Gray." She scowled at him, unused to being addressed formally. He recoiled from her, letting her walk ahead of him. "It's just not my day today, hurry along Tessa."

Jem reached for the wooden box that had been temporarily placed on the mantelpiece to keep his drug safe in the time that they were here. Will watched him reach for hit but grabbed his wrist, stopping him from harming himself even more, he was scared of the side effects of, it was affecting the both of them. He let go of Jem's wrist, returning his hand to his other forearm where his parabatai rune shined and distorted.

"Will, I need it." Jem pleaded, Will could hear the desperation in his voice and the setting sun made his skin as thin as parchment. He remembered when he had first met Jem, he hadn't believed that the boy was dying. You're not really dying are you? He had asked him, he was foolish but he was just a child, he didn't want to face the fact that his new friend wouldn't be around forever. But then he still didn't want to think that. But he chuckled slightly at the image of the two of them, at twelve years old, wrecking havoc in the institute, drawing their first runes and learning to live their lives without their family and learning to think of this as their new one. But Will had Cecily now. He felt a pull in his heart for his youngest sister, she must be worried where I am, he thought. "What are you laughing at?"

"I just remembered the time when we first met, I was adamant that this illness wasn't real."

"I remember."

"I miss that," he said, "I miss everything before Mortmain, before the very menacing army of automatons were after your fiancée."

Tessa will be married to Jem. He turned around, the corners of his eyes stinging and his palms sweating. She made her decision and it wasn't me, it wasn't me so shut up, he told himself, ashamed for being distraught at the thought of their marriage.

"You're still happy though Will, aren't you?"

"Of course I am." He smiled, hoping to cover up the lie.