I own nothing.

PART TWO: Chapter 5

Dear Snake Eyes,

I did it. I managed to leave the guys and my mom behind. I'm living at my father's house.

Your grandpa. He really came through for me. I was so scared he'd want nothing to do with me and you when he found out. I was scared he'd call Mom and tell her even though I asked him not to.

Instead, he listened and he hugged me. He just held me, Snake Eyes. It was the first time I ever really felt like I had a father. I've had my mother my entire life…but I never knew what having a father was like.

Sure, Kendall tried to fill that role as much as he could, but he was only three years older than me. Not exactly father-aged. And since we're siblings, we fight just like any other siblings would sometimes. Not all the time though!

Maybe you'll have a brother or a sister one day. Maybe once we find the perfect family for you, they'll already have a child that you can play with and learn to love as much as I love my brother?

Dad's gonna help me find the perfect family for you, Snake Eyes. He's already started searching through newspapers and talking to people and lawyers. He's consulted some adoption agencies too. We're going to start interviewing really soon.

Don't worry, Snake Eyes, I'm going to find the best family for you. I may not be able to be there to take care of you, but I would rather die than give you to someone who doesn't know how special you are.

You ARE special, Snake Eyes. The most specialist baby in the entire world! You're going to be so handsome or beautiful (Sorry, I still don't know if you're going to be a girl or boy. We find out in a soon!). It doesn't matter which guy, Logan or James, is your real father, either way you have some pretty nice genes. I'm not just being vain and saying this because all mothers say that about their children. I'm telling you the truth. You will be amazing looking. And so smart… and… well, I guess if you're reading this then you already know how awesome you are. Everything about you is perfect. Never forget that.

… I really miss my brother, though. Even with my father being so amazing, I can't help but miss Kendall. I wish he was here. He always knows the right thing to say. He always knows how to take care of me.

I hate keeping secrets from him.

Well, I love you, Snake Eyes. I'll write more later.

Love,

Your Mom

Ashley Fairfield was not having a good week.

She hadn't had a good month, or even a good period of time since March.

Alex, Maggie, and she had always been together. From the time they were old enough to start pre-K, they were connected at the hip.

Ashley's parents were only too happy to have the other two girls come over and play with their darling bubbly little girl that they doted on. Maggie always wanted to escape her full house of brothers, and Alex's Dad always made sure Alex didn't get left behind even though they lived so much further away.

Ashley didn't mind the times when Maggie got a little bossy. She knew that the redhead needed a little bit of control since her older brothers were always telling her what to do and her younger brothers were always bothering her, never leaving her alone for long. Ashley always went with the flow, not having any problem playing 'house' if that's what Maggie wanted to do, or 'school', or 'Barbies', or blocks—the list went on. It didn't take much to make Ashley happy. She was always eager to please. She just wanted to make Maggie as happy as she.

With the way Ashley's parents treated her, she could have just as easily become a spoiled brat but she had her mother's disposition. She also had Alex as a best friend.

Alex was the one to balance out their little trio. If Maggie was being a little too overbearing, Alex was the first to call her on it. Alex wouldn't let her take too much advantage of Ashley. Whenever Maggie did act too crazy, Alex knew things weren't going easy for the redhead at home. She always tried to cheer Maggie up. It was Alex who first got Mags so interested in computers by giving her an old laptop when Dr. Mitchell updated all the computers in their house. It was a way for the troubled girl to stay in one spot, not moving, not drawing any notice from the kids crawling all over the house. It was a way for Mags to survive home-life by mentally escaping without going too crazy and taking it out on her friends.

Doctor Mitchell helped with the rest of Maggie's pent-up aggression when he convinced the other parents to sign them up for hockey.

Alex had always been a fan of the sport. Ashley and Maggie had seen a couple games on the television at Alex's insistence. They both could recognize the logo for the Minnesota Wild. They had seen Alex, at the age of six, run across the school yard yelling "Canucks Suck! Canucks Suck!" because an older kid was wearing paraphernalia for one of the Wild's biggest rivals, the Vancouver Canucks. Maggie's parents could care less about whether their only daughter played hockey. The only problem being that with eight kids they could scarcely afford, they couldn't pay for Maggie to join. Dr. Mitchell had stepped up to help with that too, even going so far as to contact the league to set up financial help for other kids who wanted to play but couldn't afford it.

Ashley's parents had a big problem with allowing their little angel to join one of the most vicious sports in existence. Even if all the other girls were six and just as tiny, Mr. and Mrs. Fairfield still had visions of their precious and perfect daughter with broken bones, misplaced teeth. The paranoia went on and on.

It was Alex who decided to teach Ashley everything she already knew about hockey in hopes of showing the Fairfields that even with the violence of the game, Ashley could hold her own.

Alex's dads had started teaching her how to skate as soon as she could walk. She was two when she received her first little hockey stick. Two and one day the first time she hit someone with her stick. Two and a half the first time she, wobbling, managed to make a puck go two feet into an open goal without any assistance. Three when she stopped falling every time she tried to skate without holding her dads' hands.

By the time Alex was through with Ashley—and Maggie, who insisted she also wanted to learn some things before practice started—, the girl could not only hold her own, she was so in love with hockey she was near tears in front of her parents, begging them to let her play.

Doctor Mitchell was on hand that day, trying to soothe Ashley while reminding the Fairfields that girls' hockey wasn't as bad as boys. He also pointed out that with the rules of the league it was far less likely for a girl to get seriously injured. He finally dragged the Fairfields to a practice for the youngest girls just to show them exactly what would be happening.

The Fairfields were shocked to find that the majority of the children could barely skate while moving a puck with their sticks. They didn't know anything about handling that stick, and not one of them even thought about hurting someone else because they were too busy giggling and trying to stay upright. Their fears were relieved, realizing that the adult hockey they knew and watched was nothing like the kid hockey that appeared completely harmless.

Ashley only ever knocked out one tooth and it was a baby one, much to her parent's relief. Any time Ashley got a bruise she was sure to hide it before her parents noticed. She was always afraid they would change their mind about letting her play.

They never changed their minds though, and Ashley was now one of the best players on her high school team. Until March, Edina's girls' team was a force to be reckoned with. Now that Alex was gone, they were all a little lost.

Ashley especially. Even though Maggie was a bossy bit of goods and had no problem giving directions, things just weren't the same without Alex. Ashley knew that Maggie was just as lost as she. One third of their group was missing and even Ashley and Maggie had been drifting apart because of it.

Until the day Maggie approached her in school, waving a brochure about a hockey camp that the Kendall Knight would be at, their entire friendship seemed lost too.

Ashley couldn't help but join Maggie. She saw how excited the redhead was for the first time in months. She found out that the desperate girl was prepared to use all of her meager savings to pay for three-fourths of the program if she got in; while her parents, who had more money now that five sons had graduated and moved out, provided the last quarter.

Ashley's parents easily agreed to fork over the admission fee if she got in. So, the plan was set in motion. They wanted Alex back and they thought that maybe, somehow, this would be the way.

Of course, Alex showing up at tryouts and then enrolling in the camp too threw a gigantic monkey wrench into their plans.

After they tried to talk to Alex following the video scavenger hunt, Ashley could barely speak to Maggie again. That evening in their dorm room the redhead kept trying to think of ways to get through to Alex, even deciding that maybe they should just go ahead and talk to Coach Knight without revealing that his niece was in residence yet.

Ashley just tuned her out. She was still harboring some serious resentment toward Maggie for ruining all of their friendships. Those feelings had bubbled to the surface again that evening. She wasn't usually mired in such bad thoughts, but she couldn't help it this time. She couldn't put that fresh bubbly face to the world and pretend that everything was okay.

Ashley finally fell into a fitful sleep that Saturday night, hoping things would look better in the morning.

They didn't.

The brunette tried to keep herself together but that helpless feeling was rushing through her again. That feeling she felt when she first realized that Alex had turned her back on her as well as Maggie. That feeling she felt every time Alex continued to ignore her even though she wasn't the one who said the hurtful things. That feeling she felt when she arrived at school one morning in March and Alex wasn't there. That feeling she felt when one week passed without one sighting of the blonde only to finally hear the gossip that Alex changed schools.

She hated feeling helpless. She hated feeling like she didn't know what to do. That was why she latched on to people who did tell her what to do.

Why couldn't she figure this out? And why couldn't Alex forgive her? It wasn't like Ashley had really done anything wrong!

Ashley Fairfield knew that she had reached her limit and it was only a matter of time before she finally exploded. She had never exploded in anger in her life. But the sadness permeating her existence was doing strange things to her.

"What?"

Gage jumped, not expecting the loud scream.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ashley turned on him and glared with a look that strangely rivaled Maggie's dangerous one. At least the red head wasn't around at the moment.

Ashley did not look like her usual self. She was always bubbly and bright eyed and bushy-tailed. She was always smiling and always put together. Her hair was cut short and the ends were usually curled in such a way that they bounced around her face wherever she went. He had only known her for a week, but he knew enough to know she wasn't the typical female hockey player. Most girls came off as tough, and none of them paid that much attention to their appearance. Not that the other girls were beastly or manly, they just usually only went for a little bit of lip gloss and a ponytail. He was willing to bet Ashley had brought more makeup and hair stuff than all of the other girls combined. He had an older sister, so he knew exactly how long someone who looked that perfect spent in the bathroom in the morning getting ready. That was why he was sometimes late to school if he didn't get up before she got to the bathroom; and it was also why he spent most mornings pushing the million little tubes and irons out of the way just so he could get to the sink. He hated not having his own private bathroom.

Ashley looked like crap. She looked like she hadn't even washed her hair that morning. Her eyes were puffy. She wasn't smiling. And the air of fun that usually surrounded her was replaced with one of depression.

It was Sunday evening. Almost an entire day had passed since Gage had overheard the conversation between the three girls. He hadn't seen Alex at all that day. He had tried texting her but she said she wasn't feeling well and had spent all day in her room.

Since he didn't have practice and he still wasn't sure how to approach Alex, he decided to finally sit down and do the research he'd been putting off.

He discovered the mother-load.

The famous actor, James Diamond, and the world renowned—even at his young age—doctor, Logan Mitchell, were two of the original members of Big Time Rush. The other members were the hockey star, Kendall Knight, and the bleeding heart, Carlos Garcia.

Or, as Alex affectionately called him, Uncle Carlos.

His mind was reeling as he read old article after old article about the group. How they all started in the small town of Sherwood, Minnesota near Minneapolis. How they were discovered by the great Gustavo Rocque and taken to Los Angeles to record their first demo. How their careers took off. He read all the celebrity gossip past and present, learning more and more about Kendall and his wife, as well as James and his wife. Logan and Carlos were barely ever involved in any gossip, the two mostly painted as the good boys of the group. Kendall and James were more in the spotlight. He read about the death of Kendall's sister. He noticed there weren't many interviews around that time and, besides the mention of a press conference to give the pertinent details, Kendall had never once spoken to any reporter or journalist about his sister's death.

He read the article from Rolling Stone magazine that had come out in June 2014, two months before the death of the girl. The entire band was featured on the cover. The article was about their latest tour and the successful platinum release of their third album. The guys had also talked a bit about the future, already throwing out hints that they would be bowing out soon, or at least taking a few steps back to focus on things that were more important to them.

He read the second feature article from Rolling Stone's issue, January 2015. Kendall was the only one on the cover this time, using an old picture from the June photo shoot—Gage could tell because one of the outfits were the same. This was Kendall in what appeared to be a private moment, probably taken by accident in outtakes or something. He wasn't smiling from ear to ear as usual. He was glancing down and to the right. He looked pensive and stoic, completely different from the joy that usually graced his face. The article wasn't even an interview with the man. It was just all about the man. The musical world was still a bit stunned by the end of Big Time Rush but with the release of the new single, Demise, the fans raced to purchase the track. The single was number one for weeks and the musical magazine couldn't ignore the success.

The song had been recorded in November for a movie soundtrack, and released almost immediately. Before the movie was released in December, the song was already at number one. Some say the song and who it was by helped the movie's success. Either way, Oscar buzz was all around it.

Gage read the articles about The Academy Awards that year, 2015. Gustavo Rocque was there to accept the Oscar for Best Original Song. He was the one who wrote the song; the performer didn't receive the accolades unless they had been involved in the writing process. Gage saw pictures of Logan, James, and Carlos on the red carpet with Rocque, but there was a noticeable lack of Kendall.

When the song kept on going strong, staying at number one for longer than anyone ever anticipated, the articles started talking 'Grammy'. And then Gage found the articles with pictures from the Grammys in 2016. Once again, the other three were on the red carpet—there were plenty of articles giving James an 'A+' for his appearance. The other three were pictured as accepting the award. But, again, nearly a year later, Kendall was still nowhere to be seen.

There was an interesting article from around that time that drew a lot of Gage's interest.

Some journalist was confused about the band's breakup. He couldn't understand why the band didn't just take a break then start working together again. He pointed out that another boy band, the Backstreet Boys, had a member lose a sister. It was devastating when it happened, but the band didn't end. The journalist noted that Kendall Knight was never seen in the presence of his band mates anymore.

Gage couldn't help but wonder if that had something to do with why Alex didn't like Kendall. He wondered what it was all about. He also really wanted to know why Alex hadn't mentioned the connection her dads had to the man. That wasn't something most people would keep quiet about.

Saturday night he had been willing to wait until he could get Alex to talk to him about what was going on, but after finding out all this stuff with Kendall he knew he couldn't wait any longer.

He knew Alex wouldn't talk to him yet, and he didn't want to approach Coach Knight until he knew more about the situation. He didn't want to admit it, but Maggie freaked him out a little. He concluded that Ashley was probably his best bet and decided to seek her out for some answers.

"Why are you here?"

"It's a lounge," Ashley shrugged and made a circular motion with her hand to indicate the couch she was sitting on, "where you sit. And you didn't answer the question. Why are you staring at me?"

"I don't mean, here here," Gage corrected. "I mean, at this place. Why travel four hours to go to a hockey camp?"

"I could ask you the same question," she replied, still not answering his question.

"Yeah, but I asked you first," he replied, sitting in a chair across from her, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "Why are you here? It's not a coincidence that you just happened to show up here, is it? Not when Kendall Knight is here too."

Ashley seemed to ease back into her former personality for a second, looking up almost hopefully. "She told you about that?"

"And still, you're ignoring my question," he pointed out, not answering the question on purpose. He wouldn't learn anything if she knew Alex hadn't told him anything. He could already tell that she and Maggie were protective of Alex and her secrets.

"Cuz, if she told you, then maybe that's a good sign."

"…How so?" He knew he shouldn't keep leading her on, making her think he knew things he didn't. But he had Alex's best interests at heart and he couldn't help her without knowing everything.

"Have you seen Alex and the way she interacts with everyone?" Ashley began.

"She doesn't really…" he said, remembering all the times he wondered about Alex. She knew all the girls on her team, and most of the boys on his team at school, but she didn't seem to make any connections with anyone except for him. Not that he minded, but he did wonder why she wasn't more open to them. He just figured she had always been like that.

Ashley shook her head. "She wasn't like that before. Everybody knew Alex. She was always willing to help anyone out if she could. Like this one time when we were nine. I got her and Maggie to enter a beauty pageant with me. One of the other girls got chicken pox the week before the pageant. She was so upset, and Alex had made friends with her. So she convinced all of us girls to do the pageant with pinkish dots all over our faces. That way the girl could still enter and not worry about the fading marks on her face since we all looked diseased." Ashley laughed. "All three of us ended up with chicken pox after that…

"When…" she sighed. "Alex and Maggie had a big argument a few months back and everything changed. Alex changed. She became this loner that no one really recognized any more. She did have friends other than me and Maggie, but it wasn't enough. She switched schools and, until we got here, we haven't seen or heard from her at all in the past three months. If she actually told you about Kendall, then you're a friend she can trust. I didn't think she'd trust anyone again that quickly."

Gage shifted. Crap. He needed to stop doing this. He couldn't keep up his current line of questioning. He decided to abandon any and all questions he had regarding the 'Kendall Knight' situation and just focus on Alex's problem with Maggie and Ashley.

"Wait, so you said that Alex and Maggie had the argument?" he asked. "What about you and her?"

"I didn't believe her," Ashley said simply, dejectedly. "She couldn't see past that. I guess… she was hurting and lashed out at both of us?"

"So… this argument…" he wasn't sure if he should tell her that he saw their exchange on Saturday night or not.

"Don't worry about that," she said quickly. "You don't need to kn—"

"I heard you guys on Saturday," he decided to say.

"You mean…"

"I know what Maggie called her," he said. "Seemed a little harsh for a friend…"

"It wasn't the name calling that was the problem," Ashley interrupted. "It was what Maggie said after she called her that."

"What?"

"… you know, I don't know why we're talking about this," she said. "Why don't you just talk to Alex about this stuff?"

"Because Alex isn't talking about it. You said it yourself. Whatever you guys did made her close herself off from everyone. I can't help her if I don't know what's going on," he insisted.

"Some secrets aren't mine to tell," she said, standing up and preparing to leave. "Stop asking me about it."

"Who should I ask then?" he stood up too. "Kendall Knight?"

And with those words he was back to fishing for information he shouldn't be looking for, but he couldn't help it.

"Don't you dare!" she squeaked and held up her finger, shaking it at him in admonishment.

"Why? What's so wrong with talking to him about Alex?"

"He can't know who she is!" Ashley pushed him back down in his seat and regained her own as well. "Please don't talk to him! You'll ruin everything!"

"What will I ruin?"

"Okay, okay," Ashley gave in. "You're right. It's not a coincidence that I'm here."

Gage nodded. He knew it!

"We wanted to tell him about her. Tell him all the things he's missed by not being around. We wanted to ask him to meet with her, answer all the questions that she's too afraid to ask her dads and Uncle Carlos. We wanted to give her the one thing we were hoping would prove to her how much she means to us. If we could just get him to talk to or acknowledge her, then maybe… she would forgive us. I don't know. It sounds weird to me. But it was Maggie's idea."

"This doesn't make sense to me though," he shook his head. "Why is he so important to her? I get that he was in a band with her dads, but what's the point in him getting to know her?"

"It's just important okay?" Ashley was getting so frustrated she had tears glistening in her eyes. "Just please don't ask him about it! This really isn't any of your business. I probably already told you too much. I thought you already knew all this. Did she really tell you anything or are you sticking your nose in something that's not your business?"

"Alex is my best friend. She is my business," he said with as much confidence as he could muster, but it was shaky at best.

"Wrong, Alex is my best friend. And Maggie's!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet again. "We've been best friends for eleven years! You've known her, what, eleven minutes? We may not be talking right now, but we will again. And let me tell you, this is definitely not your business!"

She stormed off, leaving Gage feeling decidedly dejected.

He was, unfortunately, starting to think that Ashley was right.

He cared about Alex but she hadn't told him anything important. Inviting him to her house was the most open she'd ever been with him, but there was still so much more to her that was being kept in the dark. He hadn't lied when he said that Alex was his best friend. He felt like he'd known her forever. His life just wouldn't feel normal if he didn't see or talk to her at least once a day. It was more than the crush he had on her too. Even if he couldn't be with her, he had to have her in his life. But… maybe Alex didn't have any problem not having him in her life. She was able to push away the two friends she'd had since childhood. How easy would it be for her to push him away too? Especially when she learned that he was sticking his nose into her business… business that, Ashley was right, wasn't his.

Gage was actually becoming a little scared.

How one person could mean so much to him in such a little time was beyond him.

"It's Allie."

"Huh?" Gage said, shaking himself from his scattered thoughts.

"Your nerves?" Kendall said. "You are never nervous when you're talking to me about Allie. I think she's the key."

Gage gulped. "Okay?"

He was tired. It was Monday morning and he'd spent the previous night tossing and turning. Alex hadn't made an appearance at all yesterday, still claiming to be ill. He didn't want to tell her that he knew she wasn't ill, so he stayed away.

He'd managed to roll out of bed and get to the rink in time for his early morning private practice with Coach Knight.

"You spend so much time focusing on the game, you over compensate and hit too hard or lose control of the puck," the coach explained. "Most people do better when they do focus completely on what they're doing. But, not you. I guess you're just a multi-tasker. Whenever you're thinking or talking about Allie, you look flawless. Your skating is smooth. Your shift from forehand to backhand is seamless. You focus just enough on the game to do really well without going overboard."

Huh. Alex was going to save his hockey career. Go figure.

Gage could only shake his head. "If you think so…"

"I know so," Coach Knight said. "Now, tomorrow's scrimmage, you're going to start."

"What?" Gage nearly lost his footing. "But Coach Wilson…" The man hated him. Why would he agree to start him?

"I've already spoken to him," the tall man answered. "You will be starting. So this morning I want you to go all out. No holding back Gage. Remember what I said about Allie. Just have at it, understand?"

Gage slowly nodded, a small smile gracing his lips.

"I understand."

"Ah-ah-ah-oooh," Kendall groaned later that evening, leaning back into the frilly couch that Weston had provided in his on-campus housing. The bags of ice he was clenching around his knee always hurt at first, but soon enough the ice made the throbbing die down to a dull ache before going completely numb.

"Here," Jo said briskly, thrusting a glass of water and two pain killers in his face.

"Thanks," he mumbled, tossing back the pills with his left hand then using the same hand to take the glass, making sure to keep the ice in place with his right.

"What exactly are you trying to prove to a bunch of kids?" she said, clearly not happy with him.

"I'm just doing my job," he grumbled.

"You've been on the ice almost every day!" she exclaimed. "You know what happens when you overdo it. I don't know why you keep putting yourself through this. Coach them; you don't have to play with them!"

"I haven't been playing," he argued. And he hadn't been. Not really. He mostly stood with the coaches pointing out things they needed to look out for, encouraging the players, and making notes of each player's individual cases so he could tell their coaches what they needed to work on the most during their training. The midget classes were set to have scrimmage matches the next day. So he might have gone a little overboard with Gage that morning.

"Even if you don't get on the ice when everyone's training, I know you have been every morning," Jo pointed out. "What are you doing hitting the rink that early anyway? That's probably why you're a mess on the couch!"

"It probably is," he admitted grudgingly. "But there's this kid that needs my help. This kid is really good, but couldn't get past a serious case of nerves. I think tomorrow's game is going to be okay though. We've been working together a lot. That's why the pain," he indicated his knee. "I'll lay off it for a while now. I promise."

"This kid…" Jo began. "Why are you taking a special interest?"

"Remember I told you that girl beat me?" Kendall reminded her.

Jo nodded. She would have smiled in amusement if she wasn't so upset with him. He had told her a fifteen year old girl beat him during tryouts. But she hadn't heard anything about her since.

"Her name is Allie Bishop."

Jo felt some relief. She knew that was the name Alex was using. If Alex was the kid Kendall was giving private lessons to every morning, then maybe she had started making a connection with Kendall. Maybe Jo didn't have anything to worry about as far as Sophie making up Alex's desire to get to know Kendall. Maybe this will all work out and one day soon they will all live happily ever after!

But wait… "But if she beat you, how does she have problems with nerves?"

Kendall shook his head. "It's not her. She doesn't even want to be here. She only played me so this kid could get in. His name is Gage Peterson," Kendall explained. "The kid was a mess. But he's doing a lot better now. I figured out the key, because I'm that good."

"… key?" Jo asked for lack of anything better to say.

She was thrown. Neither Sophie nor Alex had ever mentioned this Gage person. She had been told that Alex tried out for Weston, got in, and wanted to go and meet her uncle in secret from her dads. The only thing that was turning out to be true was the 'got in' part.

"Allie," Kendall smiled a bit victoriously, shifting the ice around his knee. "That kid is head over heels for her. Whenever I start talking to him about her, he plays his best. I mentioned it to him this morning. And just like that! Best game he ever played with me, which is why I may have gone a little overboard today. But he's absolutely ready for tomorrow now!" Coach Wilson wasn't too pleased that Kendall had insisted he start Gage tomorrow. But Kendall was the man's boss so he had to do what he said. Kendall tried not to take his role too seriously, but occasionally he had to pull rank. Kendall was hoping he'd finally convince the man of Gage's value when the boy started tomorrow and did well.

"That's… good?" Jo said, fumbling for words, her mind racing at his. "So, they're a couple?"

"I don't think so," Kendall shrugged, not really wanting to be a part of some teenage relationship drama. He'd had enough of that years ago trying to get Carlos a girlfriend. Thank goodness that was over. "They seem like really good friends. I always see them hanging out. She comes to all of his games and watches most of his practices. He does the same thing for her. I would assume they're going out, but he never mentioned it and I figure with the way he talks about her, he would have by now."

"Aren't the classes in the same dorms…" Jo's eyes were wide, pondering the ramifications of what she had unknowingly set into motion.

"Yeah, they're co-ed," he said. "But on separate floors. And they have floor mothers who keep eagle eyes on everyone. Why?"

"I really think you should have made them split the dorms up so there was a girl dorm separate from the boys," she said.

"But there aren't enough girls for one dorm," he said. "You know more boys like to play than girls. Why are you asking about this anyway?"

"It just seems to me that if this boy likes this girl, they shouldn't be allowed to room so close together," Jo said.

"Different floors!" Kendall laughed. "Besides, he's not that type of boy. Believe me, this kid is super sensitive. He's a constant gentleman. He would never try anything with that girl."

"So you say," she murmured, thinking to herself that the same could have been said for Logan way back when and just look what happened when no one was paying attention. But she was paying attention now. And there was no way anything was going to happen to Alex on her watch.

"Her parents obviously didn't have a problem with the co-ed dorms, so why should you?" he asked, amused.

"I, I, uh," Jo stumbled over her words. Because her parents don't know where she is! "You're, uh, right. So, what time are the scrimmage games tomorrow? Maybe I should come and meet these kids. You seem to like them a lot."

"Sure," Kendall shrugged. "Gage will probably love to meet you. I wouldn't lay bets on Allie though. That girl barely looks at me. Don't ask me why. Maybe we should ask everyone if they want to go. The boys would love that, and even Carlos and his boys would probably get a kick out of it."

"Um, er," Jo winced. Carlos would probably have a panic attack if he saw Alex on the ice. And the Garcia boys would know Alex anywhere, not holding back the instant they saw her. Kendall would know in an instant who she was. That wouldn't be good.

"The girls play at ten, the boys at one," he said. "Why don't you call and ask Carlos?"

"I think Sophie's taking them into town in the morning," she said, fumbling for her wristband and dialing Sophie on speed dial, knowing that Carlos' latest phone was probably being destroyed again at that moment. "But it's so long anyway. Why not just go to the boys' game? You did say the girl always comes to the games, right? So I'll meet both." And she would call Alex with a heads up to steer clear of the game.

She needed to have a firm talk with the girl anyway. She was not pleased by what she had just learned.

Not pleased at all.

Alex was absolutely miserable.

She felt like she needed to talk to someone about everything but she didn't know who to talk to!

She couldn't talk to her dads. She didn't want to call Dad even to just ask him to sing to her because she knew he'd try to call Uncle Carlos and ask what was wrong with her; and, since her lovable uncle had no idea that she was minutes away from him, that would end badly. As for Daddy, she couldn't talk to him either. She kept forcing herself to put on a brave face to video chat with him so she didn't arouse any suspicions. He kept asking why Carlos wasn't calling him back, but she just put him off and changed the topic like Aunt Sophie told her to do.

She couldn't talk to either of her aunts. She loved her Aunt Sophie, but didn't feel comfortable talking to her about what was going on. Sophie had never met Katie Knight anyway, so she wouldn't be able to do much to help. Alex didn't know Aunt Jo well enough to say much to her at all…and she still felt uncomfortable calling her an 'aunt', even though she was her only real aunt from her mother's side.

She couldn't talk to Ashley or Maggie, of course.

Her mind kept spinning round and round and she felt like maybe… maybe it was time to reveal some things to Gage. He had a way of keeping her calm. He was never overbearing or assuming. He was laid back. He followed her lead. He made her feel important. He was becoming more and more important to her.

Never mind the fact that she couldn't kiss him, he was the one person she felt completely at ease around these days.

But… all day Gage had been acting differently.

Sure, she had hidden herself away all day on Sunday, but it was Monday. She dragged herself out of her room. She resolved to ignore Ashley and Maggie all day. She went to practice. She went through the motions, her performance extremely lackluster. She didn't care though. In the afternoon she went to Gage's practice like normal, but…

Something was wrong. He didn't smile at her with the same joy he always used. He didn't rush over to her and greet her the way he always did even when his coach was shouting at him.

For the first time since the start of camp, Alex left the boys practice early. She felt a little sick to her stomach.

She couldn't deal with things changing. Not now. Not when her entire world was off-kilter.

She had started to rely on Gage too much. She knew better. She should have known it was a mistake.

She had no idea why Gage was acting differently… She was too afraid to confront it. Maybe it was just a fluke. Maybe Gage was just too wrapped up in practice and worried about the game tomorrow.

Either way, she was still just as miserable by Monday evening as she was Monday morning… a little worse given the fact that she wasn't going to be able to talk to Gage about things either.

"Who is Gage?"

"A friend?" Alex mumbled into her phone, misery stretching through her tone.

"Kendall told me that the only reason you tried out was because of him? Is this true? And why is this the first I'm hearing about it?" Jo was livid. She was trying to keep calm not wanting to scare the girl away, but the more time she had to think about the situation the more she was ready to scream.

"What does it matter anyway?" Alex mumbled again, not caring about the panicked tone in her aunt's voice. She didn't know the woman well enough and didn't really care if she was upset.

"Sophie told me the truth, that you didn't want to go to Weston because of Kendall, but I didn't know why you actually wanted to go until this evening," Jo ranted. "A boy! Really, Alex? A boy! Are you out of your mind? Just wait until your fathers find out about this and that I'm involved!"

"Don't tell them!" Alex showed her first signs of life all day.

"Right, and I'm just supposed to let you keep attending Weston in secret when you're doing God knows what with this boy!" Jo exclaimed.

Alex wanted to punch the woman. She didn't care who she was, she had no right to make assumptions about her like that.

"Fine! Go ahead and tell them! And while you're at it, make sure you tell your husband you've been keeping secrets from him about me," Alex replied with more nastiness and contempt in her voice than she intended. "Since he cares 'oh-so-much' about me I'm sure he'll just be thrilled!" All the hurt and anger she was feeling spewed forth before she could stop.

"Alex that's not…" Jo grew worried. Not about Alex telling Kendall, she already knew that he was going to eventually find out about her involvement. She was worried because this was the first sign of emotion the girl had shown her…and she was starting to realize that Alex harbored an intense hatred for Kendall.

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" Alex yelled. "You're not even my real aunt! In order to be that, you'd have to be married to my uncle and that man has wanted nothing to do with me my entire life! He is not my uncle! He's a horrible person!"

"Alex, we should meet—"

"No! I don't want to meet you! You just assume that since I have a boy who's a friend I'm what? Sleeping with him just because we're at the same camp? That's just gross! That's not who I am! How dare you!"

"I didn't mean—"

"No one ever means it, but that's what it always sounds like!" the blonde yelled.

A long silence greeted her words.

Alex used the time to calm her ragged breathing, wondering why she hadn't hung up yet.

Jo was at a loss for words. She never realized how much Alex was affected by Kendall's actions. It tore at her heart knowing that the girl was hurting this way. It made her want to fix things even more. The girl needed Kendall, the real Kendall, in her life. Jo needed to bring things into the open with Kendall sooner rather than later. She also needed to get James and Logan back to Minnesota. They needed to be a part of this. Sixteen years of letting things fester had finally blown up in their faces.

And Alex was hurting for it.

"Carlos, Sophie, the boys, and I will be at the boys' game tomorrow," Jo whispered. "Wanted to give you a heads up… I'm sorry for… about Gage. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. You're right. I'm sorry."

Silence was her only answer.

Jo didn't know what to say… she wanted to say something to reach the girl but nothing came to her. "Alex…" she murmured.

Then there was a click, and Jo knew the girl had hung up on her.

Jo sighed and rested her forehead in her palm.

How was she ever going to fix this?

"You're a hard man to get a hold of."

"I am?"

"It's been, like, a week!"

"We've gone longer than that without talking, James," Carlos said, perplexed. "Besides, I've had some bad luck with phones."

Understatement of the year! While the wristbands—the latest trend spanning the past five years in cell phone technology—were supposed to be water resistant, they didn't take well to extremely hot water. Something about the steam? It was a minor design flaw. The first of his phones to bite the dust a week and a half ago was done in the kitchen sink when he was trying to help Sophie clean up a mess the boys had made. In the days following one was swallowed by Patsy—he wasn't going to wait for it to come back out—one was flushed, one was taken apart for 'educational' purposes by one of the boys, and he just lost his latest this gorgeous Tuesday morning while helping Sophie deliver a sculpture to a consignment shop in town. He had decided not to purchase another one right away since his bout of bad luck would probably just cause something else disastrous to happen to a new one.

He had to check his online email account for any important updates on charities and events. Nothing was planned until July, but he knew Griffin would be peeved if he couldn't get a hold of him. Carlos had always dreamed of saving the world, but being a cop like his father just wasn't in the cards for him. He liked protecting people, but solving crimes that were often very dark and dreary resulted in tears and heartbreak for him. He couldn't distance himself from what happened to those people. So he spent his time working for Griffin as co-head of the charities division for the company. He sort of fell into the job of doing the most outrageous stunts for charity purposes. It was perfect for him. He got to help people all over the world, using RCM/CBT/Globalnet Sanyoid profits to do it. He was great at organizing fun days for kids. He'd spent so many days at children's hospitals, he knew as much about oncology as Logan did… well, now that was an overstatement.

Griffin, the old coot, was on his last wind. Mercedes was poised to take over any day now. Fortunately, she understood the importance of 'giving back' and would let Carlos continue how he saw fit. Carlos had gone a little overboard back when he first started, too many people needing too much help at once. Carlos had a hard time saying 'no' to anyone. But they gave him a partner—hence the "co-head"—to make things easier. He didn't mind having a partner, as long as he had this job!

Not that he needed the money. Logan had helped him invest the money he made from his time in Big Time Rush… well, more like did it for him.

But it was nice to have a job. Something to do that was good and right and didn't require him being in an office fighting with some stupid office machine on a daily basis. He'd never been that great with electronic equipment… or that great at anything besides singing and dancing. But he was great at making people smile and feel better.

Thus far Carlos had used Sophie's phone to contact his distant boss, but Sophie was still in town so he decided to check the email he rarely used. His inbox had quite a few requests from James for a video chat. So, he patched through to his best friend.

"Couldn't Sophie just let you use hers?"

"Well, yeah, but I didn't know you wanted to talk until I checked my email," Carlos shrugged. "What's up? Oh, let me guess! You found another gray hair and since Logan's not around, you needed someone to comfort you in your time of need."

"He told you about that!" James huffed.

"Yeah," Carlos laughed. "Don't punish him too much for it when he gets back. He's probably freaking out about driving on the wrong side of the road again. England is so weird! Still don't know why they put the steering wheel on that side!"

"Uh, because they want to?" James replied.

"I wonder if their Nascar is on the other side too," Carlos thought deeply about this. "So their track would run the other way, right? Weird."

"Uh, I think Nascar is only over here," James thought, spacing for a moment as he tried to think if he'd ever heard anything about racing in England.

Then he shook his head, getting back to his original reason for contacting Carlos. He raised an eyebrow then frowned. "I've called Sophie every day to try to talk to you. She didn't tell you?"

Carlos frowned back at the computer screen, seeing James' confusion.

"It probably just slipped her mind?" Carlos excused. Sophie had never really been scattered brained, but maybe with all the kids running around the house she just forgot. He could be very forgetful sometimes too.

"I don't see…" James shook his head, deciding not to point out that he didn't see how it could slip Sophie's mind when he called or texted at least twice a day. "I really just wanted to thank you. Though talking to you is pretty awesome too. Logan and Alex get to see you way more than I get to."

"…you're welcome?" Carlos said, perplexed.

"For watching Alex while I'm in New York," James explained, sensing Carlos' confusion.

"I…what...huh?"

"I would rather she come with me, of course," James rolled his eyes. "And what teenage girl could say 'no' to a summer in the city that never sleeps? Mine could. Has she convinced you to adopt a shark yet? Sophie'd probably kill you if you add one more tank in though."

"James…" Carlos shifted in his seat, crazy confused and more than a little uncomfortable.

"She did do it, didn't she?" James laughed. "Just don't let her try to pet the thing or swim with it! Logan will have your head!"

"James!" Carlos needed to get his attention. He was pretty sure something weird was going on. He had never ever lied to James and he wasn't about to start now.

"What?"

"She's not here," Carlos said.

"What? Who?" James asked.

"Alex, she's not here," Carlos explained gently. His mind was racing. What in the world was going on?

"That's cool, I talk to her every night," James shrugged. "Just say 'hey' whenever she gets back from wherever she went."

"No, I don't mean she's not 'here' at the moment," Carlos said. "I mean, I haven't seen Alex for weeks. She's not here, James. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Carlos," James started, a bit of warning in his voice. "Stop playing around."

"I'm being serious, James," he said, gulping a little. "I haven't seen Alex since the last time she visited before school let out."

"That's just crazy," the actor said, looking a little pale. "Alex has been there for a little over a week now. Sophie said she was there. I talk to Alex every night. She has to be there."

"Unless Sophie built some new room and is hiding her in there, I swear to you Alex is not staying here," Carlos insisted. Sophie must have done something… was it about that hockey program? Carlos blanched. Please don't let it be about that hockey program!

"Carlos," James said softly, but there was anger, fear, and alarm all across his face belying the softness of his words and making them almost dangerous. Carlos felt bad knowing his friend was experiencing a rising panic that was probably ten times worse than the one he was currently feeling.

"Where is my daughter?"

To be continued…

Next: Part II – Chapter 6.

Video of Alex & Logan: Alex's Lullaby www . youtube . com / watch ? v = KKKz-JZzsVs (remove the spaces)

See my profile for side-by-sides of Logan/Alex/James and Kendall/Alex/Katie.