AN: I know. I'm a terrible updater. I just recently moved from Mass to Virginia and have been without internet for the last couple months. Awful, I know. As it turns out, I have a good three chapters of this one written so I'm going to upload Chapter 10 and 11 now to attempt to make up for the long wait. Anyone of you that are waiting for The College Years to be updated, I'm working on that one right now. Again, I'm terribly sorry for the long wait and thank you for the reviews!

Let me know what you think of these two chapters!

Chapter 10

JJ sighed deeply. "I don't deny having a few one-night stands in the last decade but… but, it's been a while. They were all right after college and I knew, I knew going into them that that's all they were going to be; just one night. But I haven't… it was a long time ago and…"

"JJ, you don't have to defend yourself to me. I've known you for two years now. I know what you're trying to say. I'm not going to judge you." Emily tried to reassure her. "College was a whole different world."

"I just… I wanted you to understand." She shrugged half-heartedly. "Will was different though. I try… really, really try to keep my personal and professional lives separate, but Will… I don't know. I thought there was something there. He told me outright earlier that day that he was flirting with me. I mean, I know I'm out of practice but I swore the signs were there."

"So… you invited him to you room?" Emily asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"No!" The blonde liaison exclaimed. "No. I… I had given him my card before we left the scene that night. He was kind of… down after we closed the case. I knew we were leaving in the morning and I really thought he was legitimately interested. And, and the distance made it easier to keep it from everyone… I guess." She admitted, glancing up to see Emily's face fall at that confession. "I mean, I would've told you if it went somewhere. I just wanted to have it for myself for a little while."

Emily nodded, smiling slightly. "I can understand that."

"Of course, I was wrong though." She sighed dejectedly. "He called me that night, just after midnight. Looking back, I probably should have realized what was happening but he was really upset and said he needed to talk. I told him I'd meet him in the hotel lobby so he could get everything out. I'm not even sure what he said that got us back to my room. We were just talking about everything and he kissed me. I didn't even see it coming. But, but it didn't feel wrong, you know? It felt like there were underlying feelings so it felt… okay. I don't know…" She dropped her chin to her chest, willing the tears not to fall. "I have Derek now. I know he has feelings for me. He does care for me, he does care for me..."

"Hey…" Emily squeezed JJ's hands between hers and waited for her to lift her head again. "It's alright, Jay…"

"He made me feel like I was special." She admitted. "At first, it was… he made me feel beautiful and on multiple occasions, checked to make sure that I was okay. He was sweet, and caring, and… sure, it was a hotel room at the end of a brutal case and we were both a mess, but he didn't care. He said things, did things… he just made me feel… wanted, but for more than my looks. He cared about me… or at least I thought he did." She paused before continuing, chewing on her bottom lip. "Afterwards though…

"Wait a second…" Emily interrupted. "This was just after midnight?"

JJ nodded, confused at Emily's question. "Yeah, he called me literally right after midnight. Only took him like twenty minutes to get to the hotel. Why?"

"I didn't see him leaving until four." The brunette replied, leaving JJ to figure out what she was getting at on her own.

"What? Yeah, he was there for a couple – oooh!" JJ blushed, realizing exactly what Emily was getting at. "Yeah… it was a long night."

"I'll say. Four hours? Please tell me there was a lot of talking happening."

Blushing profusely now, JJ shook her head. "Maybe for like a half hour…"

"Seriously…" Emily shook her head. "I'm sorry, continue with your story."

"I don't…" JJ frowned, not really wanting to continue, but knew Emily deserved the whole story. "It was a long night, but afterwards… I don't know what I expected. I knew, we both knew, it'd look pretty bad if he was there when everyone else got up so he left shortly after… everything happened. He told me he'd call me later that day, after we got home. I didn't wait around for his call; I know things can happen and you lose track of time and -." JJ stopped shortly, realizing that she was rambling. "Sorry."

"How long did it take for him to call?" Emily asked, knowing what happened without JJ having to say it.

"He didn't." She responded. "And I didn't want to seem desperate so I waited until that night and sent him a text message before I went to bed. When I woke up, he had replied – it was like 3am – and he basically said that it wasn't going to work out and that he was sorry and that we should just forget that night happened."

"What?" Emily was surprised. She hadn't seen much interaction between her friend and the Southern detective during the case but from what she did observe, there was definitely some chemistry there. "Did he say why?"

JJ shook her head. "No, it was short and to the point. I don't know, Em, it… it just made me feel like I was nothing. I mean, four hours and then nothing? It seemed strange to me but I just assumed I was over-analyzing things and maybe the feelings I'd seen weren't actually there."

"You're not nothing, Jay…" Emily reassured her.

JJ sniffled. "I feel like it. God! I hate being this girl. I'm never this girl."

"Okay, so Will was a jerk, that's obvious. He missed out on what could've been a great relationship with a great girl." The brunette told her. "But you've got Derek now. So why is this still bothering you?"

"I don't know." JJ admitted dejectedly. "I know Derek wouldn't do something like that but... I…"

"You're scared to lose him, aren't you?" Emily asked. "The fact that Derek would never do what Will did, it made you realize that this is serious. You already know there's no going back, whereas with Will, you were unsure. It's easier to be with someone like Will because when it ends, it's over. With Derek, you don't want it to end because you'll still have to see each other and deal with the fallout. Not to mention, you're great friends now. You know ending the relationship would ruin that. You're scared of the possible negative fallout."

Sniffling, JJ pondered what Emily had just told her. Working with profilers meant very little privacy but at times like this, JJ was glad her friend could sort her mind out for her. "He's my best friend, besides you." She whispered. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

"He's not going to leave you, Jayje. You need to focus on the positive aspects. He's not like Will."

"I know. It's just… I'm so used to the idea that men only want me for one thing. For someone to want me for me… it's overwhelming." She shrugged, pushing her blonde hair out of her face. "It's scary."

"Have you told him this?" Em asked.

JJ shook her head. "I couldn't even figure it out until now."

"You know you need to, right?"

"Yeah… I know."

"It'll help, Jay. It'll make being together easier. Once you guys are on the same page, you'll be able to enjoy the relationships and make something of it. You can't successfully be together physically if you're on different pages emotionally." She pointed out.

"I guess I should go talk to him, huh?" She frowned.

Emily nodded. "It'd probably be a good idea.

Taking a deep breath, JJ climbed to her feet. "I'm just going to use the bathroom before…" She trailed off. "Thanks, Em."