Pairing: Izaya/Shizuo
Prompt: Shizuo suffers from erectile dysfunction. (Maybe a side effect of his super human strength or because of a traumatic sexual encounter where he almost hurt somebody? I'll leave it up to you if and how you explain it.) Izaya gets wind of this and actually decides to help him out (probably for his own amusement or just to mess with him?) and try to 'cure' him with all means possible. Big bonus if Shizuo actually gets hard, but from anal stimulation of all things...
A Helping Hand
Izaya was having some free time and simply lazing around Ikebukuro. Still, his informant instincts were sharp as ever and so he perked up his ears as soon as he caught a familiar name in the chatter coming from a nearby table.
"You know Heiwajima Shizuo?"
"The really strong guy? He's scary!"
"I heard that he can't get it up."
"No way! Are you serious?"
"Heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend."
It was a very weak lead, if it could even be called that, but unreliable or not, Izaya decided right there and then to follow up with some investigation. Which culminated with his ringing Shizuo's doorbell an hour later after stocking up a few useful items. Heavy steps followed, followed by some grumbling and then Shizuo was glaring at him as he was wont to do.
"Hello, Shizu-chan!"
"Go away."
"So mean. And to think I came all the way here to give you a helping hand."
"Don't need your help."
Shizuo was about to slam the door on his face. Izaya was not about to let that happen.
"Is it truth that you can't, you know…perform in bed?"
Shizuo froze. Then grew terribly pale.
"How do you know that?"
It was too easy, at times.
"I never reveal a source, Shizu-chan."
"You're not going to tell anyone…right?"
Izaya looked offended.
"Why, of course not! I'm here to help you overcome this, erm, how shall I term it…obstacle."
Shizuo looked around as if afraid of seeing some innocent bystander watching this compromising exchange. After some hesitation he said,
"Come in."
Really, at times it truly was too easy.
"Quite a place you've got here, Shizu-chan. Looks nifty."
Shizuo paced up and down as if he was regretting this already.
"Never mind the apartment. Can you actually help? With this…problem?"
Izaya emptied the contents of his plastic bags on the table. All the dildos, bottles of lube, porn DVDs, beads of all sorts and sex toy instruments of all sorts that Izaya had arranged just for the purpose.
"If I can't, Shizu-chan then no one can."
Shizuo stared at Izaya's stock. He felt rather silly.
"Don't see why it would be like that."
Izaya was hoping for an excuse to do some justified bragging and trust good old Shizuo to provide him with one.
"One word: experience. I have plenty of it, if I may say so myself. With both genders, too."
Shizuo glowered at him with ill disguised jealousy.
"Knew you were a filthy whore."
"Ah yes, but only because I have no complications with my…how should I put it, 'plumbing'. If you want a résumé, I've been doing it since middle school-"
"Middle school?"
"-even before I met you, yes. And I get laid every single night. So you can trust me on this. 'Orihara Izaya' means 'satisfaction guaranteed.'"
Shizuo was impressed despite himself.
"Are you just going to stand there gloating or do something about it?"
Izaya sat on the sofa as if he was a regular at Shizuo's apartment.
"First I must know a few things about this condition of yours. How long have you suffered from this issue?"
Shizuo shuffled uncomfortably.
"I was fine until I began to get stronger…since then- it just doesn't work."
Izaya whistled.
"So you haven't had an orgasm since you were, what 12?"
Shizuo nodded in his misery.
"Yeah."
"That's a lot of time. Have you tried Viagra?"
The dark glare that Shizuo shot him told Izaya right away that it was best not to follow this line of argument if he valued his life.
"Okay, a few more questions are in order at this point. Sexual orientation?"
Izaya produced a clipboard and a pen.
"I'm straight, of course."
Izaya giggled.
"Yes, that's what they all say at first."
"Izaya-!"
"Okay, okay, we'll go with 'heterosexual' for the time being."
Needless to say that Izaya had his doubts.
"Next question, any favorite types?"
Shizuo rubbed his chin.
"I like cute girls."
"Can you be a little less vague?"
"Cute and small built. With nice hair."
"'Generic short female.' You haven't thought much about this, have you?"
"Not really…since it's useless anyway."
Izaya was almost sorry for Shizuo. Almost but not quite.
"Okay! We'll start with some porn, then. I have straight, lesbians, male gay, threesomes-"
"Take your gay stuff out of here!"
"How about the hot lesbians?"
Shizuo nodded.
"That's fine. They're not your sisters, right?"
Izaya gasped for emphasis.
"Shizu-chan! What an awful thing to imply! As if they would do such a thing-"
"Sorry, didn't mean to offend you…"
"-on tape."
Shizuo blinked at this.
"On tape…? You mean they'd do it if they weren't being recorded?"
"Can't say. It's not as if I'm there all the time. So lesbians it is! Your DVD is prehistoric. I had no idea they still manufactured these."
"It's second hand- wait, what do you mean you can't say?"
Izaya popped the disc into the ancient video.
"Shizu-chan, this isn't anime. I don't spend every waking moment obsessing over my siblings. I'm not Namie. Anyway, smut time is now."
Izaya settled on the sofa and offered Shizuo some tissues. Slim busty women entangled limbs and licked every spot that could be licked. Izaya spent half his time observing a blushing and clearly embarrassed Shizuo and the other half checking out the hot action on screen.
"So what do you think? I have good taste in porn or what?"
"Yeah…"
Unfortunately, or not, Izaya's amazing preferences were also getting him aroused. And since there was still no clear reaction from Shizuo Izaya found himself masturbating to a really hot 69.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Hng, just giving you an incentive?"
"Don't do that here! Go to the bathroom!"
Izaya made it as far as trying to get up.
"Too late…"
Izaya came all over the floor, shooting his stuff with relish. Shizuo fumed.
"The fuck!"
"Calm down, I have more tissues."
Izaya cleaned the mess while Shizuo glowered.
"You're a flea, Izaya!"
"So porn failed. That's fine. I never run out of plans and I want to help my dear childhood friend. So just sit, relax and let your buddy do the work for you."
Shizuo did sit but he was about to squat Izaya away as soon as long thin fingers trailed his zipper.
"Don't go touching me in weird places!"
"You undress, then. Show me the goods, Shizu-chan! I'm curious."
It was reluctantly that Shizuo dropped his pants and boxers and he only did it because Izaya would mock him otherwise. Izaya whistled.
"Wow, big. Even when it's normal. It's a real shame that this doesn't get put to good use. Now tell me how this feels."
Izaya got on his knees and applied his tongue and lips. Shizuo moaned softly.
"-good, but-"
"Hmm…so you do feel something. But this doesn't seem to be working."
Shizuo hung his head in defeat.
"It's hopeless!"
"There, there. No need to despair yet. This only means that I have to bring out the heavy artillery."
Izaya brought out a string of anal beads and a dildo.
"Where do you think you're putting those…things?"
"Do I have to explain all things? You're an amateur so get on all fours, that'll be easier."
Shizuo flailed considerably and jabbed a finger in Izaya's face.
"No! Just no way in hell! I'm not putting anything there. How is that going to help any? I'm not fucked up like you."
Izaya's sigh was forlorn.
"Shizu-chan, clearly your knowledge of the male organs is nonexistent. Let me enlighten you on that. Besides, it's not like you have many other options now is it? Trust me on this. You'll like it. But of course if you are that set against it then I can just leave and let you figure out something on your own. I'm sure you can fix it in the next, say, twenty years or so."
Shizuo reconsidered his rashness.
"Okay, fine! But you better use some stuff…"
Izaya opened a bottle of lube and smeared some on his fingers.
"You mean this? Don't worry, Shizu-chan! I have loads of it."
Shizuo glanced at the instruments that looked scary to him.
"Those things, are they torture devices?"
"So funny, Shizu-chan. On all fours now."
Shizuo obeyed despite the ever growing doubts that made him exceedingly anxious. Izaya placed himself behind him and mused.
"I wonder what would be best, the beads or the dildo? Decisions, decisions."
"There's no way that big thing fits."
"Hmm…I supposed the beads are better for beginners but you're a big boy. Thus may feel a bit weird at first but don't sweat it, Shizu-chan!"
Shizuo was regretting this already. Greatly. Izaya poured a generous amount of liquid on the vaguely penis shaped device and applied the tip to Shizuo's entrance.
"What the- that bloody hurts!"
"Chill. I know what I'm doing."
Still, Izaya inserted the dildo more brusquely than necessary. Shizuo tensed up immediately.
"The hell! Aren't these things for girls?"
"Relaxing is better, Shizu-chan. And these are flat based made specifically for anal usage. I don't suppose you've played back here yourself?"
"Of course not! Just who do you think you are?"
"A virgin, for one."
Shizuo blushed to the roots of his blonde hair.
"You don't have to put it like that…"
"More relaxing, less talking."
Izaya pushed it all the way in and tried a few different angles for no reason other than making Shizuo squirm. It worked brilliantly. Shizuo cursed himself for being gullible enough to buy Izaya's troll ways.
"This is way too weird. Doesn't feel good at- oh…"
Shizuo trailed off. Unfamiliar pressure was building inside him and coiling at the pit of his stomach. Izaya smiled and it was a good thing that Shizuo could not see the wicked grin.
"Aha, I knew it. Beginning to feel better?"
"Hng…"
Shizuo could hardly believe it but he was already fully erect.
"Success! I'm so good. But enough of the toy."
Shizuo yelped in protest when the pleasurable intrusion was removed but he had no time to complain any further because it was replaced by something bigger, hotter and a bit wet. It took him little time to realize that it was Izaya.
"You lou- oh…"
Shizuo's anger melted into the rhythm of skin hitting skin, that vulnerable spot sending blasts of warmth through his body, so much so that he even forgot about what was going on, that Izaya was fucking him in the ass.
"I think you're a bottom, Shizu-chan. And look at that, you're dripping and all."
Indeed a dribble of pre-cum dripped from his now hard length all the way to the floor.
"Izaya- urgh."
Never good at articulating thoughts Shizuo gave up on words altogether. He began to pump himself but Izaya slapped the hand away.
"No can do. You'll come but because I'll drive you to it with my amazing technique."
To make the point plainer Izaya angled his hips just slightly, just enough to hit his weak spot directly.
"Ah!"
Izaya began to cackle in that crazy way of his but Shizuo did not even mind it. He could not remember ever being this needy.
"Doing a virgin- so rare these days."
Izaya's control was slipping into his incoming climax. He released after only a few more thrusts that were somewhat erratic. But it did not matter, Shizuo was way past his coping abilities and when hot liquid shot slammed into him he orgasmed in a series of convulsions, his entire body shaking as pleasure such as he had never known unhinged him completely. He collapsed on the floor with a thud, on top of his own mess.
"Good thing I have plenty of tissues, Shizu-chan."
Izaya caught his breath with some difficulty. Shizuo was still basking in his afterglow.
"That so…I don't even."
"Heh, no need to thank me! I won't even charge you for this. I believe that you are cured! At least there's plenty of your jizz on the floor."
Izaya scooped some from the floor and tasted it.
"Tasty~"
"You really are great."
Shizuo regretted it the moment he said it but he was still far too mellow to get angry.
"Aw! Shizu-chan likes me, Shizu-chan likes me! Let's be Best Friends Forever!"
"Sure."
And as it turned out it was the beginning of an interesting sex friendship.