Hawke sighed as he ran a hand through his brunette hair and soft beard... He needed to shave but he never could without cutting himself and he didn't want his mother fussing about it so he never asked her... He also looked damn good with a beard. He snorted at his vanity before he heard a knock at his bedroom door. He looked up and tilted his head.
"Come." He stated and Bodhan would open the door, smiling at Hawke.
"Sir, Anders has come to visit but I told him it was late and I should see if you were awake first." He said and nodded and Hawke smiled back.
"Thank you Bodhan... Don't worry I'll go see him." Hawke said and stood up, walking by his servant and paused before looking back. "... You can take the rest of the night off Bodhan." He said, the dwarf raising his brows.
"But sir I still hav-"
"I insist... You'll still be paid." Hawke said and Bodhan tilted his head, there must be an important reason for this... So the dwarf didn't question further.
"Well... Then have a good night, sir." He said and smiled gratefully before bowing his head and walking out of Hawke's sight.
Hawke wandered to the door and held his breath for a moment before opening it, seeing Anders standing there, turned away until the door was opened. He seemed surprised to see Hawke and not Bodhan, but he smiled, and that made Hawke almost blush... However neither of the two saw the wolf lurking in the distance, watching.
"Oh, Hawke." Anders greeted and Hawke nodded in reply.
"Something wrong, Anders?" He asked.
"I was about to ask the same thing... Are you alright..? You... Seemed pretty upset back with the group so I thought I would check on you." He said and frowned.
"Yeah I'm... Well, I'll be alright, I just didn't feel like playing Wicked Grace tonight." Hawke said, reaching back and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
"... Is it because a certain someone will be there?" Anders asked.
"... No I..." Hawke muttered and looked away.
"Hawke... It's alright to be upset." Anders said and reached up, gently stroking Hawke's cheek.
Hawke looked up to Anders and released a small breath, leaning into the giving touch. He wanted this... He wanted this so much... But not with this man... Was that fair to Anders if he gave in..?
"You don't want me Anders..." Hawke said softly.
"Don't tell me what I want." Anders replied and leaned in, gently pressing his lips against Hawke's.
Fenris who stalked behind Anders, watched vigilantly from the shadows... He grit his teeth when he saw Anders approached the Hawke estate... And then he saw him. Hawke... His heart fluttered but he frowned, trying to comprehend what they were saying to one another but it was obvious that Anders was flirting, but, as he predicted, Hawke was oblivious... He clutched his knuckles as he watched the abomination lay his filthy hands upon Hawke's cheek. He could see from the look on Hawke's face, he was trying to fend Anders off... But he had to keep everything he had within him not to pounce from the darkness as he watched Anders kiss Hawke.
That piece of shit was dead.
As he was kissed, Hawke blushed and leaned in to the familiar feeling against his lips and even hissed softly before shoving Anders against the wall, hearing a small gasp from the other. Hawke growled and pressed his body against Anders, biting Ander's lip and shoving his tongue into the other mages mouth and was quick to dominate it. He snarled softly, but suddenly his thoughts were filled with Fenris... Fenris actually put up a fight when he was kissed, a fight for submission but Anders gave right in. Hawke's eyes snapped open and he almost threw himself off of Anders, he quickly pinched the bridge of his nose.
"... Y-... You should leave I'm not the man you want..." Hawke said and looked over to Anders, frowning.
"... Why not..?" Anders asked, his eyes reflecting desire and sorrow.
"... I'm in love with someone else." Hawke murmured and sighed. "... If I slept with you... It would be for all the wrong reasons." He said and looked to Anders seriously.
"How... How could you love him!?" Anders suddenly shouted.
"... I just do Anders... He and I have something... Fuck I don't even know Anders... But I love him." Hawke said and smiled sadly, making Anders step back a bit.
"But... He doesn't even deserve you." Anders said and Hawke narrowed his eyes.
"You don't even know him... You have no right to judge him." Hawke hissed and turned back to the door. "I have business to attend too... Please leave." Hawke said and quickly walked back into the estate.
Anders sighed and frowned, watching as Hawke walked back into his home. He hoped that this didn't permanently hurt his friendship with Hawke... However as he began walking out of High Town he was confronted by none other then Fenris... And he was pissed.
"I told you to stay away from him." Fenris spat and rested his hand upon his sword.
"You'd really pull your sword on Hawke's new lover?" Anders asked, thinking quickly on his feet, and Fenris' eyes widened.
"You're lying... He told you to leave." Fenris growled.
"Oh so you were spying on him too? I don't think he'd approve." Anders mused with a smirk, seeing the fear in Fenris' eyes as he took a step back. "... He only told me to leave because he wasn't ready to have sex yet... We have plans soon, savage." He added, seeing the devastation in the ex-slaves eyes. "... I suggest you stay away from him now on..." Anders growled before he began walking off.
Fenris stared at the floor. Hawke had moved on already..? He couldn't believe it... But he could knew that he deserved it... The way that he walked out on Hawke... He was selfish, and he was paying for it. He felt the overwhelming hurt and sorrow fill his soul and he quickly covered his eyes with the palm of his hand as he felt the tears gather. Hawke had to pick Anders of all people... The one person of the group Fenris hated... Did Hawke choose him for that reason..? It wasn't his business but... Maybe he could just be happy that... Hawke was happy.
Was that enough..?
A few days after that incident, Hawke approached Fenris' mansion, he hadn't seen Fenris in days and it worried him... He walked inside and looked around. Fenris had told him before he was always welcome, but he felt like he had almost overstayed his welcome in a fashion. However, regardless he walked through the lengthy rooms in search of the elf.
"Fenris?" He called and looked around until he saw Fenris quietly reading at the table by the fireplace that quietly crackled, a bottle of wine at his side. He smiled, Fenris had improved so well... However at the sign of Hawke, Fenris jumped out of his seat.
"Sorry I... Didn't see you there." Fenris muttered as he recalled Anders words, he was in no way afraid of that demon, but he was afraid of Hawke... Knowing that he could destroy with a few words, but he kept his cool and returned to his seat, offering one to the snorting Hawke as he blushed in embarrassment.
"Good story?" Hawke asked after finishing his laughter and sitting down next to Fenris.
"I... Yes... Despite Danarius being a piece of shit, he was a good collector of literature." Fenris replied as he gently closed the book and set it aside so that he could give his full attention to Hawke.
"Oh, you didn't have to stop... I just came to check on you, Varric said you hadn't been around and I hadn't seen you I wanted to make sure you were safe.: Hawke said and smiled, causing Fenris to tilt his head. Hawke went out of his way to care for him..? It wouldn't be the first time but...
"I... No I'm alright... I appreciate you thinking about me though." Fenris uttered and smiled lightly.
"There was also another reason I came by... I was wondering if you wanted to accompany Varric, Aveline and I to the Bone Pit." Hawke invited, Fenris was relieved to hear that Anders was not accompanying them but he was still hesitant... But in the end, he couldn't say no.
The group travelled in relative silence, every once in a while Varric would crack an awful pun or two causing the group to groan with frustration, however, things took a quick turn as Fenris recognized Tevinter hunters and he quickly armed himself.
"Hunters." He hissed.
"Stop right there! You are in possession of stolen property, step away from the slave and you'll be spared!" A man from above shouted, this was obviously an ambush, though Hawke's gaze remained determined and he rested a hand onto Fenris' shoulder.
"You will not have him!" He shouted back, ensuing a battle between the group and the band of hunters, and despite being out numbered, they handled the hunters with relative ease.
Fenris was fuming and as he saw one of the hunters trying desperately to crawl away he stormed over, and Hawke following with his eyes knew this was bad. Fenris took a fistful of the Hunter's hair and yanked his head up.
"Where is he?" He interrogated.
"Please, don't kill me..." The injured slaver whimpered pathetically before Fenris slammed his head into the dirt and pulled it back up.
"Tell me!" Fenris barked.
"I-I don't know! Please, I don't know! I swear!" The slaver exclaimed. "Hadriana brought us, she's at the holding caves north of the city! I can show you the way!" He begged.
"No need. I know which ones you speak of." Fenris stated seriously.
"Then please... Let me go I swear I won't-"
"You chose the wrong master." Fenris said coldly and was quick to snap the slavers neck in one swift movement. "... Hadriana." Fenris snarled darkly. "I was a fool to think I was free! They'll never let me be!" Fenris shouted in frustration.
"You know her?" Hawke asked.
"I remember her well... A sniveling social climber that would sell her own children if she thought it would please Danarius... She was my masters old apprentice." He said and slammed his fist into a near by cliff. "If she is here it is at his bidding. I knew he wouldn't let this go! He couldn't face me himself he had to use Hadriana to do his dirty work!" He yowled with rage.
"Fenris, let's go." Hawke said and reached forward to gently take Fenris' bloody abused hand, however in Fenris' rage he ripped it from Hawke's grasp and turned away.
"The holding caves used to hold slaved but I guess they're no longer abandoned." Fenris grumbled. "We must go quickly before Hadriana before she has a chance to prepare... Or flee." He said before storming forward, Hawke frowning with worry but following behind Fenris closely.
Once at the holding caves Fenris mentioned a brief warning to his fellow companion before swarming into the caves, encountering several demons and slaver along the way but ceasing their attacks when they saw a smaller elven woman cowering in the corner.
"Are you hurt? Did they touch you?" Fenris asked quickly.
"They've been killing everyone! They cut papa, bled him..." She said with panic.
"Why..? Why would they do this?" Fenris murmured in thought.
"The Magister... She said she needed power, that someone was coming to kill her." She whimpered, and Fenris looked away with guilt that plagued him. "We tried to be good... We did everything we were told. She loved papa's soup... I don't understand." She cried softly.
"Is she still here? Hadriana?" Hawke asked.
"I think so... She said they were to prepare for battle. I think she's very frightened." She sighed.
"She has every reason to be." Fenris hissed.
"Please don't hurt her! She'll be so angry if you hurt her!" The girl said and cowered lightly.
"I'm... Sorry." Hawke sighed, also feeling guilty.
"Everything was fine until today." She said.
"It wasn't... You just didn't know any better." Fenris muttered.
"Are you my master now?" She then asked with an intrigued notion.
"No." Fenris snapped quickly.
"But I can cook. I can clean, what else will I do?" She asked hopelessly.
"If you go to Kirkwall I can help you." Hawke interjected, causing Fenris to raise a brow to look over.
"Yes? Praise the Maker! Thank you!" She cried and scampered out of the caves, and Fenris quickly turned sour towards Hawke.
"I didn't realize you were in the market for a slave." Fenris spat angrily.
"I gave her a job Fenris, she's not my property." Hawke replied, narrowing his eyes at the elf.
"Ah... Then good... My apologies." Fenris murmured softly. "Let's get back to finding Hadriana and be done here." He sighed and continued forward.
It wasn't hard to find Hadriana and it wasn't hard to wound her and kill her remaining squad of demons and slavers. She panted and reached pathetically towards her staff until Fenris stepped closer, raising his sword to finish the job.
"Stop! You do not want me dead!" She cried.
"There is only one person I want dead more." Fenris sneered.
"I have information elf, and I will trade it for my life." She gasped, at Fenris' mercy.
"What information could you have that would be worth your wretched life?" Fenris asked maliciously.
"You have a sister. She is alive!" Hadriana quickly yelped, causing Fenris' eyes to widen and back up.
"You lying bitch-"
"No! It is true! You wish to reclaim your life? Let me go and I will tell you where she is." Hadriana bargained desperately, Hawke and the others looking nervously towards each other before Hawke stepped beside Fenris but kept silent, Fenris looked to Hawke for an opinion and Hawke nodded reluctantly, it wasn't a bad thing to hear what she had to say.
"So I have your word? I tell you and you let me go?" Hadriana inquired quickly.
"Yes. You have my word." Fenris stated seriously as he bent down, his face inches from hers.
"Her name is Varania. She is in Qarinus serving a Magister by the name of Ahriman." She explained and Fenris hummed.
"A servant... Not a slave?" He asked.
"She is not a slave." She whimpered ad Fenris paused.
"... I believe you." He murmured, though his markings began to glow.
Hawke gasped as he watched Fenris thrust his hand through Hadriana's chest, through her heart, earning a muffled gasp from Hadriana before she fell over dead.
"We're done here..." Fenris said before walking towards the exit.
"Are you alright? Do you need to talk?" Hawke asked.
"No! I don't! This could all be a trap! Danarius could have been plotting this from the beginning and even if he didn't trying to find her would be suicide! Danarius has to know about her and he has to know Hadriana knows!" He shouted. "But all that matters is that I finally got to crush that bitch's heart... May she rot and all the other mages with her." He said seriously, making Hawke wince slightly, however he reached out and gently caught Fenris' shoulder and gently pulled him closer.
"... Let's get out of here." Hawke sighed.
"No. I don't want you comforting me." Fenris snapped and brushed Hawke's hand away. "You saw what was done here... There's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages have to do this." He said motioning violently to all the death. "Even if I found my sister... Who knows what the Magisters have done to her... What has magic touched that it does not spoil?" Fenris asked, causing Hawke to look away at the dagger that was thrown his way.
Seeing his critical error, Fenris too turned away and sighed, running a hand over his face, seeing the blood that drenched it and sighed.
"I... Need to go." He said and quickly disappeared from the caverns, leaving Hawke and the others behind.
"... He's just angry." Varric muttered at an attempt at comforting Hawke.
"But that was way out of line." Aveline scoffed harshly.
"No, no... I understand... I've lost so many people close to me... I don't know how I'd react either." Hawke said and nodded before he began following after Fenris who was long gone.
Varric and Aveline frowned and looked to each other before following after to their breaking leader.
Fenris wandered through Kirkwall with a drink in his hand, after finishing the large bottle of wine and looking up to see the sun setting he scoffed and threw the bottle against a nearby wall and watching it shatter as he stumbled towards a wall. The world was spinning and he felt like vomiting... Hadriana's words were weighing heavily on him... Were they really true..? He tried so hard remembering the memories he received back when he slept with Hawke and he cursed... Varania.
"Fenris." The familiar voice echoed and he turned clumsily in the direction... Hawke was standing there.
"... Go away." Fenris grumbled and waved Hawke off with a drunken swipe of his hand.
"You know I can't do that... The people here could mug you or worse... And I won't let that happen to you." Hawke sighed and walked towards Fenris who pulled out his sword.
"I said go! Fenris yelled as darkness fell upon Kirkwall, Hawke, though surprised, only briefly paused.
"You'd really swing at me?" Hawke asked and Fenris, even though he was drunk, knew he couldn't and he dropped his sword.
"... Wouldn't you have a better time with that abomination?" Fenris asked drunkenly as he stumbled, Hawke caught him with relatively.
"What are you-"
"The abomination! You new lover!" Fenris howled and pathetically tried shoving Hawke away, but didn't have the strength to do so.
"My new what?" He asked but stopped as he felt something wet on his chest and he looked down to see tears cascading down Fenris' cheeks.
"Why him..? Why him? Why the abomination?" Fenris sobbed as he desperately tried getting out of Hawke's restraining grasp, but Hawke, though confused, gently lowered them to the ground and just held the elf.
Fenris, though in a drunken rage, cried and wrapped his arms loosely around Hawke's neck, releasing all of his rage and anger as he hugged Hawke.
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... If I knew it would drive you to him... I'm sorry..." Fenris slurred and Hawke frowned, he must have known about something that had happened between he and Anders... He'd have to talk to Anders about it in the near future.
"... No one means as much to me as much as you do." Hawke whispered
However, at the moment, Fenris needed him... And he would no leave him alone as Fenris had done before. He gently scooped up the smaller elf in his arms who put up no resistance. Hawke knew that Fenris wouldn't remember this, and he wasn't sure it he was happy or upset that he wouldn't. Fenris leaned his head against Hawke's broad chest and was asleep before they even arrived back at the estate. Hawke walked in and Bodhan turned to greet him in the usual manner but found his words caught in his mouth as he saw Hawke carrying Fenris in his arms. Hawke nodded a greeting but walked upstairs immediately, he wanted to know what Fenris was babbling about but knew it was best to leave it be... He laid Fenris down and sighed, gently running a hand through Fenris' snow white hair before taking off his armor and redressing him in clean sleep wear before tucking him in.
He ordered that Fenris' armor be cleaned and polished before he too climbed into bed next to Fenris and sighed. He could only hope that the next morning would be better then tonight... And he could only hope that Fenris didn't think Hawke did things to him in his sleep but Hawke was so tired he was willing to take that chance... Plus it was great to sleep next to the elf again...
Hawke fell asleep, peacefully.