Author's Note

So, here's the next chapter in The Blood of Kings. :) It's super long! Or at least, long for me. haha :) Enjoy!

Also, I would so so so like to thank everyone for the reviews! They were all so kind and inspirational! I can't even begin to describe how much they mean to me!

And, unfortunately, I can't guarantee how much I'll be able to post in the next three or four days, because I have some big music rehearsals coming up. Like 9 hour long rehearsals. It's scary stuff!

Alright, I've babbled enough! Here's chapter 10!

As always: read, enjoy, review!

Disclaimer: I don't own HP!

10. Madness

My heart felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest from beating so fast, as I stood in the middle of my room staring into my full length mirror, and not recognizing the girl looking back at me.

It was eerily reminiscent of that night during the summer, the night that my father had told me I would be attending Hogwarts. Then I had been naïve, convinced that the Villori way of life, with its obsession with power and blood and purity, was the only one that really counted. Now, as I stood in the very same spot nearly six months later, that seemed like a lifetime ago. My eyes were open now to what was really good in the world: acceptance, freedom, love, and a million other things that—before I came to Hogwarts and met Lily and Sirius and the other marauders—I had scarcely understood.

The sick irony of it all was that now that I knew these things, now that I had seen past my family's supremacist-facade once and for all, I had no choice but to submit to the dark side, and become one of them. I knew that I'd be killed otherwise. People who refused to join the Death Eaters were silenced.

The bottom line—which just added to the irony—was that I knew too much. And the sole purpose for agreeing to spend this time with my family was because I was trying to learn more about the dark side. But never in a million years did I think that I would be forced to join their ranks.

If I was being honest with myself, I had fallen for my family's trick. There was no point in denying it. Up until a few hours ago, before that tense conversation in Father's study, I had been blinded by the irrational hope that my family members weren't the monsters I had once thought they were.

Now, as I stood in front of my mirror, dressed in the pitch black, full-length robes that were the death eaters' trademark, looking more menacing than I ever had in my entire life, I hated myself for not seeing the truth. The naivety I had shed during my time at Hogwarts had come back full-force and stopped me from realizing that my family was full of cold-blooded murderers, and that they were intent on making me one of them.

I felt sick, staring at myself in those robes, my face as pale as the moon. I turned away from the mirror, instead pacing my room, the panic starting to rise in my chest, even as I tried to will it away. Panic wouldn't help me now. My situation was too dire to spend my time freaking out over things I couldn't change.

My fingers were shaking, and as I paced I lifted my right hand absentmindedly to grasp the pendant on my necklace from Sirius, squeezing hard. It calmed me, as I knew it would. Any thought of Sirius put my mind to rest.

I winced as I thought of him. What would he think of me once he knew what I had become, even if it wasn't what I wanted? It would probably disgust him to know I had been deceived by my family into letting my guard down and allowing myself to be sucked into this madness. God knew I was disgusted by myself.

I shook away these thoughts, but I kept my hand on the necklace, squeezing my eyes shut and wishing fervently that Sirius would come save me again, just as he had done all those weeks ago after I first heard the news about Roy.

I opened my eyes, a little part of me convinced that Sirius was going to appear in my bedroom, here to come help me out of this mess.

My room was empty, of course, and I felt despair welling up in my chest, even as I tried to force it down. What could I do? I had no idea how to apparate, so escaping that way was not an option. Neither was fleeing out the doorway—I would surely be caught. And I could not think of one person in my family who would help me leave. They were loyal to the cause, and the punishment they would receive for aiding me… I didn't even want to think about it.

So what did I do now? Allow myself to be branded with the dark mark? Submit to the Dark Lord's wishes? Dedicate my life to the destruction of all that was good in the world?

A low howl from outside distracted me momentarily from my panicked thoughts. I glanced out my window to see the form of a large animal standing just within the edge of the forest outside the Villori manor, it's big, icy blue eyes peering through the undergrowth, directly at me. I watched, almost mesmerized, as it opened its jaws one more time and emitted another low, long howl.

Oh no, I thought, watching the animal as it watched me, a desperate look in its eyes. That's the Grim.

Am I going to die tonight?

I stood, with shaking hands and a saddened heart, ready to face my fate. Surrounding me on all sides were robed and masked death eaters. All eyes were on me, the latest inductee. My parents and brothers stood at the far side of the expansive space—the manor's great room—and it almost made me sick to look at them, masked and formidable.

I was without hope as I stood in the center of this big gathering, waiting only for the appearance of the Dark Lord before I stepped forward and met whatever was coming to me. To be branded with the dark mark, to swear my fealty to Lord Voldemort, to become a death eater once and for all: my birth-right.

No one spoke, or moved, or seemed even to breathe as we waited in suspense for our leader.

And then, suddenly, he was there, not standing more than six feet in front of me.

Everyone kneeled as if on some silent cue, and a second later I did too, my knees shaking. When I rose again, I found myself looking at Voldemort's white, disfigured face, and I felt the blood rush out of my own. Everything about this, from the masks to the purpose to the look of pure evil in Voldemort's slit like eyes, was so inherently wrong. Things like that didn't belong in this world.

I swallowed and looked down at my feet, feeling like I would faint if I stared at the murderous man in front of me for a millisecond longer. "Adeline." he said in a surprisingly high, snake-like voice, moving forward a step as every person in the room watched with wide eyes behind their masks. "We finally meet."

I was quaking with fear, and I have no doubt that everyone in the room noticed. Did they know that I didn't want this? I wondered to myself, trying to keep my attention off Lord Voldemort as long as possible. Do they know that I'm only joining them because the alternative is death?

Then it hit me. Would it not be better to die? I thought back to that girl, hardly older than me, whom Roy had killed out of hatred and ignorance, on behalf of this sick cause. I had wanted to save people like her. It had been the reason I returned to my family in the first place. And now… now that I knew I couldn't do anything to save her, and would, without a doubt, someday be forced to murder people like her just as Roy had… it seemed so horribly selfish of me to continue living, if my life would be nothing but murderous and destructive from this point forward.

For the first time since I had left Hogwarts, I was resolved. I was being a coward, joining the dark side. I was better than that. I was Adeline Villori. I had the blood of kings running through my veins.

I was vaguely aware, as these thoughts ran through my head, that Voldemort was saying something about loyalty and dedication and purifying the wizarding world. A shiver passed down my spine at those chilling words.

He stopped his little speech, and my father stepped forward, still wearing that horrible, silver mask, and lifted my left hand, turning it so it faced upward, the milky white skin on my forearm and wrist exposed.

I watched, in a slight daze, as Voldemort lifted his wand, pointing it at my delicate flesh, where you could see my blue veins through my near translucent skin.

The dark mark. I thought to myself, suddenly snapping out of my helpless stupor, and a renewed courage seeming to seep into me from some outside force. With a quick movement I snatched my wrist away and stepped back hurriedly, as the entire room gasped collectively, and—without a second thought— I reached up to clasp Sirius's necklace tightly in my fist.

"Stop!" I said loudly, my voice ringing out strong and true in the giant, marble-floored room. ""I will not—"

Just then there was a tremendous flash of light, leaving everyone in the room blinded, including myself. I blinked, trying to keep my wits about me even though I couldn't see a thing, but then I felt something tug hard on the back of my robes, causing me to stumble backwards, towards the room's huge marble fireplace.

The room was full of shouts and orders as I tripped over my feet and fell backwards, expecting to come into contact with the hard marble floor beneath me, but then, oddly, I felt a pair of strong arms catch me instead. Disoriented, I began to struggle, thinking someone—maybe one of my brothers, maybe another death eater—had caught me amidst the chaos that the blinding flash had caused.

I was still completely unable to see as I thrashed about until the person who was still holding me in his arms—and was now dragging me backwards—whispered harshly into my ear, "It's me! Stop!".

I froze, even though it took me a moment to place the voice. "Sirius?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice low amid the shouting of the other death eaters who seemed to still be stumbling around the room.

"Shh!" was his reply, but I knew it was him. My heart leapt with joy, and I wanted to turn around and hug him as tightly as I possibly could. Instead I let him lead me through the mass of people at almost a dead run, making our way through the chaotic throng of confused death eaters. People were bumping into us from all directions, but Sirius appeared unaffected by the chaos and blinding light, deftly guiding me towards the direction in which I was vaguely sure the fireplace laid.

The floo network! I realized then, my heart leaping. Of course, no one could come into our house via floo network, as we had higher security than even the Ministry of Magic, but people could leave from there as they wished.

We finally reached our destination, just as a voice rang out above the fray that made my blood run cold. "She's there!" my father yelled, "by the fireplace! Kill her!"

Just at that moment, the blinding spell Sirius casted wore off abruptly, and everything was disastrously clear: my father, on the other side of the room, a finger pointed directly at me, his face red with fury, mask thrown aside. Every other death eater, wands pointed, blinking rapidly as their own spells wore off, and apparently ready to heed my father's orders.

There was a huge commotion. Sirius threw down the powder, yelling some destination, as a hundred voices became one, and spells flew from every direction. I screamed, watching almost in slow-motion, as avada kedavra erupted from every wand in the room, each killing curse coming straight for us.

I shut my eyes, waiting for death to come, squeezing Sirius's hand tight, my other hand clasping his necklace tightly. I thought back to that day on platform 9 ¾ as we had said our goodbyes, caught up in our own little world. I wanted that feeling of safety and contentment to be the last thing I would ever think of. I felt my heart breaking as I realized that because of me, Sirius was going to die too. I couldn't imagine anything worse in the entire world.

But then I was stumbling forward, still holding Sirius's hand, and I barely had time to open my eyes and register my surroundings: a dark, abandoned house, it's fireplace crumbling and decrepit, before I felt another hand grab my arm, and I suddenly felt as if I was being forced through a tiny tube, my body manipulated like a rag doll and flying through the air, before I came back to my senses with a loud thud, and found myself on the floor of a tiny carpeted room, a roaring fire in one corner and a well-worn couch beside me.

I raised my head and looked around, bewildered, still shaking from shock, adrenaline, and desperate fear.

When I glanced up, I found myself staring into icy blue eyes framed by thick black lashes. Vaguely I noticed that Lily was a few feet away, trying to sit up as well, an equally dazed expression on her face, but the only thing I could really focus on was Sirius.

We stared at each other for a moment, both of us breathing hard, in the middle of a living room, although I had no idea whose, and still reeling from the effects of our insane escape from the Villori manor and the death eater ceremony. But none of that mattered. What did matter was the boy beside me.

"You're safe." he said then, staring at me almost disbelievingly. "We did it. We saved you." his voice cracked with emotion as he grinned down at me from his spot on the ground a foot away. Suddenly he threw his arms around me, encasing me in the warmest, best hug I had ever experienced. "Your safe, your safe, your safe." He repeated again and again, and I could hear the relief and happiness in his voice.

"Yeah," I said back, softly, returning his hug fiercely and grinning at Lily, who was watching us from the other side of the room, a small smile on her own face. "We're safe."