"I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss"
-the Killers, Mr. Brightside

Time. Time is something that every human being can frown at and detest. Everyone can stare at a clock and watch the numbers sluggishly tick by in a classroom. Mentally, they groan and moan at how slow time is. Or maybe, someone looks at time frowning at how little time they had been issued to accomplish something. Even the hourglass which represents someone's time on Earth can cause someone to hate time with all they have in them. But people seem not to grasp the concept of how fast time actually goes by at all times. In the eyes of something, say a… god of death… time flies by them at speeds that could give a human motion sickness.
Time is sacred and should not be wasted.

Time will slip through someone's fingers as the gears of fate slowly crank, turn, and groan along to the sound of time slipping by…

March 20, 2003

"Well, you're finally thirteen," Mello remarked, looking up at Butterfly with his blue orbs. The black-haired girl looked back at the blond, rolling her eyes and stuck out her pink tongue.

"Mello, my birthday was awhile ago," she complained, popping a red jellybean in between her eager lips. "And you're just now noticing this? Some genius you are." Mello, Matt, and Butterfly were all now at the age of thirteen, their life easily slipping past them without them noticing. Matt and Mello had both hit growth spurts, their new heights favoring them greatly. The boys' voices had also dropped a few octaves, which Butterfly found very humorous and loved to tease them about.

"Shut up, just making sure I have right since you're so short," he teased, snapping off a piece of chocolate in between his teeth which a noticeable snap. "You still look like a a kid." The black-haired teen had to admit that that was really starting to push he buttons in all the wrong places.

"I'm not that short," she growled, the sound was actually slightly threatening. But Mello was never one to be easily wavered by the forming young girl. Butterfly had been going through some physical and mental changes, all of which she found very unappealing and or annoying. The one thing she hated the most however was her forming chest which she thought was nothing more than a burden.

How was she supposed to rough house with the boys now that she had a weakness? Mello had already socked her one in her chest area and it hurt way too much for her to be comfortable. The girl was used to being almost weakness free because she knew that she could always use Mello's masculine weakness against him when they decided to throw a few punches at each other. But now the blond boy finally had something that he could use against her.

"Jeez you guys…" Matt trailed off, staring down at his video game. "Just give it a rest; you're always at each other."

"Sorry Matt," Butterfly apologized, trying not to upset another one of her good friends. Though it would be wrong to say that Butterfly did not enjoy teasing her good friends, Matt was a special topic when it came to teasing. Sure, she would poke fun at him here and there, but usually she tried to keep things as friendly between them as possible.

Then there was Mello. Mello was a fun person to kid around with, well, when he wasn't studying or doing homework, that is. Woe to anyone that would even think about trying to make fun of the blond when he was studying (which was most of the time), for Mello could be wrathful and full of attitude and violence in a split second.

And what about Butterfly's first dear friend, Near? Well, Butterfly still spent a lot of time watching Near work with his puzzles which progressively got more and more complicated as he grew older. But still, the conversations they would sometimes have seemed emotionally one sided, almost as if the albino would rather not be active in a conversation. But Butterfly wanted to be close with Near; she still considered him her best friend. But sometimes she would have to admit that she could get a smile out of the boy. A smile; never a laugh. But that was okay because Near was Near and the closest to reaching the goal of succeeding L. The closet one to succeeding in anything really.

As that thought crossed her mind, Butterfly strolled over to where Matt was and sat herself down beside the boy, her thoughts racing. Mello had given up the fight to head to the library and get in some quality study time. She wondered if it were even possible for the rest of them to give up with a normal life. What would become of them after Near or Mello stole the title of L? They would have to leave the orphanage eventually. But what would they do with their lives? Society never really had a place for the children who couldn't play by the rules and she wondered if Near was right about her logic turning her into a criminal. She was a genius and perhaps even a liar. But who could blame her? Here in Wammy's, lying was a common thing; it was never frowned upon. In fact, lying was encouraged by the power behind Wammy's; L. It was funny how that one little letter held so much power over the children who ran up and down the halls. L's laws were the only laws they wanted to follow.

The only laws they had to follow to be successful.

"Butterfly, you okay?" Matt asked, bringing Butterfly back to the reality of Mello and Matt's room.

"Oh, yeah," she responded, her brain tucking the musings of L's laws deep into the crevices of her brain. "Sorry, I was zoning out again. Did you say something?"

"I said I was going out for a smoke and wanted to know if you wanted to come with me," he repeated himself, saving his game and sliding the portable device into one of his pockets. It was no secret amongst Matt, Mello, and Butterfly that Matt was a smoker even though he was still at a young age. Just as Mello had his chocolate addiction, Matt had his nicotine addiction. The black-haired girl shoved her bag of red jellybeans into her back pocket, parts of the plastic bag still visible.

"Sure," she responded, enjoying the idea of getting to go outside even though she could hear the rain tapping against the glass in a soft pattern.
Matt cracked a smile that Butterfly thought was cute as he walked over the window in his and Mello's room, swiftly unlocking the two little locks above the bottom window. With another quick motion, he yanked up the bottom window so that they had an escape route out of the room. "Ladies first?" he asked, smiling at her with some emotion she couldn't understand.

"Of course," she remarked, walking over towards the window and the brunette boy. She hopped up onto the sill of the window, spun around so that her bent legs were now sticking out of the window, and pulled the rest of her body out as well. The raindrops dripped onto her face which caused her to blink away a few droplets in response. The girl spun around to face Matt who was now popping out of the window and joining her. The grounds at Wammy's were completely empty and muddy which meant that they probably wouldn't get caught. The duo inched along the side of the building until they reached Matt's smoker spot: a place where the building turned into a hallway which leaved a nice open space that was about the same shape as a small "U". It was even better due to the fact that parts of it were sheltered by the way the roof was set up so that they would remain dry.

They both walked into the area until they were both covered by the roof. All was silent as Matt fished around his pockets and pulled out a green lighter and a small tin box that held the cigarettes he would pick pocket from some of the teachers that smoked. Ever so carefully, the boy placed the cancer stick in between his lips and cupped one hand around it to protect it from the wind. The lighter was brought next to the white stick and after a few grating sounds, he succeeded in getting a spark which lit up the stick. He slid the lighter back into his pocket and took a long drag, pulling the cig out of his mouth to exhale the smoke. Butterfly was used to all these motions, but she couldn't help but study him as he made all these moves.

Matt was quiet like usual, his main focus was getting his refreshment of nicotine.

"Hey, Matt...?" the teen asked quietly, staring at the gray sky with some longing. The blue-eyed brunette looked over at her.
"Yeah?"

"Can I try it?"

"You wanna try a cigarette?" he asked in almost disbelief. "What happened to your lung cancer campaign?"

"I dunno, just thought I'd give it a shot..." she knew that smoking wasn't really something that she should have wanted to try; but since she was born curious, she decided that she just wanted to experience it just once.

"Okay... then knock yourself out..." Matt trailed off, passing over the cancer stick to one of his best friends who took it awkwardly in her hand. "You're holding it wrong," he commented after watching the girl fumble around with the stick while trying to take a drag. "You hold it like this," he instructed as he took the cig and placed it between her two correct fingers.

She nodded with each instruction and placed the stick between her lips and inhaled awkwardly. Almost immediately, she burst out into a coughing fit. This caused Matt to laugh at the sight which only got him a glare in return.

But by her third attempt in trying to get it right, she succeeded in taking a decent drag without coughing like a crazy woman. Matt, still smiling, held out his hand for the cig which Butterfly passed over a tad bit hesitantly. after his next hit from the cig, Matt looked over to the girl.
"Did you know that when two people share a cigarette, it's the equivalent of them kissing?"

"Eww..." Butterfly mused, her face scrunching up in disgust. Matt raised an eyebrow in question.

"What? Think kissing me is gross?" He asked, his voice had a slight teasing sound to it.

"No... I just hope that kissing you would be as gross as that thing..." she admitted quietly to herself. But Matt overheard this which caused him to drop his cigarette to the muddy ground and stomp on it a few times.

"So... you don't mind if I try something?"

"Try what...?" she questioned. Now it was her turn to do the raising of eyebrows.

"Just an experiment," he reassured her, his voice one hundred percent free of doubt. Butterfly knew that little experiments in daily life were common here, so she shrugged.

"Go ahead."

But Butterfly had no idea how to react when Matt walked over to her, tilted her chin up, and brought his lips to hers. But this kiss was not like the first one they shared oh so long ago. No, this one was filled to the brim with heat and passion. It was a kiss that seemed like it had been held back for many years. The girl's blue orbs widened and a blush colored her cheeks; her only response was closing her eyes and melting into the kiss. Her brain quickly noted that the boy had rather soft lips that had the taste of nicotine lingering on them. Though it wasn't that distasteful in her opinion. Within a few moments, she found herself putting pressure on his lips with her own, some strange feeling working its way through her body. Her stomach was clenching up with something that she couldn't quite explain.

With the sound of the rain pouring in the background, the two of them pulled away from each other, both of them each baring a bright red blush on their cheeks.

"Well... was your hypothesis proven...?" Butterfly stated rather lamely.

"Not yet..." Matt trailed off, his teenage boy eyes rolling down to one feature on the girl. "There's still something else I need to test..."

The smirk he sent her was one that made her knees weak.

"Matt..." Butterfly panted, cuddling close to the boy a few hours later under the blankets on his bed, her heart still racing. The brunette male looked at Butterfly with warm eyes.

"Yeah...?"

"Can you... tell me your real name?" she asked one of the biggest things to ask of someone in Wammy's. Names were the only thing of your past that you got to keep safe from anyone. They were treasures that were completely unspoken of. So she had to admit that she knew she was asking a lot from her friend.

Matt, being his neutral self, didn't seem to mind too much. "Mail, Mail Jeevas." He stated, nuzzling into her hair, breathing in her scent. He knew he had just done something strange and frowned upon at their age. But his mind was years ahead of his body; and his mind had been ready.
"What's yours...?"

The least she could do was tell him her name in response. "Jaclyn, Jaclyn Burnside..."

He smiled.

"Mail, do you love me?"

"Probably."

And for a boy of his position and mentality, that's all he could say. But it was okay because she felt the same.