Chapter 8: Repairs and Revelations

As soon as Ratchet disconnected the link, he found five eyes / scanners staring at him. "What?" he muttered innocently.

Clank was the first to speak. "Ratchet, I did not know that you spoke 'pirate'..."

Ratchet shrugged, a small grin on his face.

Waterman's optic was fixed on him, scanning up and down his rather unimposing frame. It flickered a few times before the captain finally spoke. "My sincerest apologies, Minister Ratchet," he said. "I had thought you were merely an adventurer, and a groundling at that. It is quite obvious that I have significantly underestimated you." There was a creaking, staticy sound produced by his speaker; quite likely a sigh. "It must have been quite a show; you and Slag. He never did fight fair. I warned that scamp long ago that he'd come to a bad end if he didn't clean up his act."

"You knew Slag?" Ratchet asked, very surprised.

"When he was first put together," Waterman answered. "That rascal always loved looking for trouble. And treasure."

"How did you meet?" Jaz asked politely. "Have you encountered many pirates?"

Captain Waterman looked at her in silence for a few seconds, then stared in turn at both Ratchet then Clank. Returning his optic to Jaz, he finally answered, "Arrr. I wasn't always the model o' polite be'avior ya see standin' b'fore ye. Aye! I be 'ere long afore I took wing fer ye lombaxes. Me 'n me mates plundered many a moon in our day..." The captain noticed the lombaxes and Clank staring at him, the robot's jaw ajar in open shock. Waterman's optic flickered again and his voice suddenly grew very deep and husky. "That was a long time ago. I have been with the Lombax Defense Ministry for approximately three point two millennia now. I encountered Slag and a few members of his crew when they tried to board my ship. A few of them got away, including Slag, but I made certain they paid dearly for their mistake." He paused briefly, looking at the vid feed again. "That is why it pains me so much to see this."

"Captain," Clank said, "It might be best if we take care of the pirates and get the sigma three generator back on line. I do not believe we have much time."

Waterman nodded his optic. "You are right, of course." He touched his comm crystal, this time on a private link. "Mr. Neutrino, have you seen the probe's vid feed?" A pause. "Please report to my off..." There was a flash of energy and Nick stood a few cubits away facing them. Waterman quietly muttered, "Show off..."

Nicholas's green eyes were a bit on the dark side with a touch of grey. Obviously he had seen the feed and was clearly dismayed by it. His ears and tail were slightly drooped, but his eyes spoke volumes.

"Mr. Neutrino," Waterman said in his typical, formal voice, "I would like to introduce you to Ambassador Jasmine Parallax. Ambassador, this is my lead engineer, Mr. Nicholas Neutrino."

Jaz turned to Nick and they looked into each others' eyes. Ratchet was watching and saw Nick's reaction: his ears and tail suddenly perked, he drew in a sharp breath and his eyes shifted to sunny green in less than a microsecond. His jaw dropped slightly and he seemed at a loss for words for the first time since Ratchet met him. "Hey," he said casually, extending his hand to Jaz.

Ratchet wished he could have warned him in advance. Jaz took his hand and started shaking it. Ratchet watched as, with a grin spreading across her muzzle, she slowly and painfully clamped down on his hand, crushing it as she shook it. "Jasmine Parallax..."

Nicholas's eyes opened wide in shock and began to tear a little in pain. Then they narrowed and a small smirk spread across his muzzle as well. Jaz suddenly released his hand and pulled sharply away with a slight yelp. As she rubbed her sore hand, Nicholas said, "Nicholas Neutrino. Call me Nick."

As Ratchet watched, the anger on her face dissolved as she stared into his sunlight yellow eyes. Her somewhat nasty grin softened into a more relaxed smile. "Hi, Nick. Jaz."

Nicholas could not tear his gaze away from her lavender eyes. "Why don't we go over to the station. I'm sure we can get power back for you in a few hours."

"Hours?" Jaz asked. This seemed almost impossible to her, given the visible extent of the damage on the vid feed.

Nick nodded. "Trust me." He extended his right arm for Jaz to hold on to. She placed her hand on it, above the cuff of his glove, resting on his fur. Nicholas sighed, smiled slightly, but he did not even pull his eyes from hers as he asked Captain Waterman, "With your permission..."

"Granted," Waterman said, his optic flickering.

There was a flash of energy and the lombaxes were gone. Ratchet turned to the vid feed and could see them appear on the control deck. They began to carefully explore the panels, getting an estimate of the damage. They also seemed to be searching for something. Captain Waterman sighed again.

"Such a pity. He was so talented, too..."

"Wha' d' ya mean?" Ratchet asked.

Captain Waterman looked at Clank. He nodded. "Ratchet, did you notice Nicholas's reaction when he first saw Ambassador Parallax?"

Ratchet nodded grinning. Nick certainly seemed stunned, almost captivated by Jaz.

"Did you also notice Ambassador Parallax's reaction to Nick?"

Ratchet chuckled. "Apart from breaking off her handshake? I've gotta ask Nick how he did that." Clank gave him one of those looks. Ratchet thought about it. Yes... "Yeah, I did."

Clank nodded. "And that was merely in the visible spectrum; the reaction was significantly more obvious in infrared." Clank had really only seen this phenomenon a very few times before: with Ratchet and Talwyn, with Rich and Nichole, and also (but to a less visible extent) with Reg and Melody.

Ratchet's eyes opened wider and his ears and tail perked. It was hard to believe, but... "You mean???" Clank nodded. Nichole's words from a month ago suddenly echoed back to him: 'One of these days, Nicholas is going to surprise us all and out of the black announce that he's bonded. It happens that way sometimes; you just meet the right person and you know.' Judging by their reactions, it was just a matter of time.

Waterman said, somewhat sadly, "Exactly. I have just lost the best engineer I have had in centuries."

They stood there for a few moments in silence, each thinking about Nicholas. Finally, Ratchet stirred. "We'd better get over there too," Ratchet said, glancing at Clank. The robot leapt into the air, landing on Ratchet's backpack straps, fastening the connecting bolt that held him securely to the lombax. Captain Waterman looked on somewhat puzzled, his optic flickering slightly. "We're a team," Ratchet muttered, a little shy. He had somehow gained the respect of the ancient warbot, and he hoped that this would not cause any trouble.

Waterman nodded slightly with his optic. "So I had heard," he said. "Your reputations preceded you both, of course. I did not believe them at first, thinking them overinflated puffery. However, after having met you, I certainly believe it now." The Captain fixed them both in his crimson gaze. "If there is anything that The Wrench can do for you, do not hesitate to call on me."

"Thank you, Captain," Ratchet replied in a formal and dignified voice.

"Indeed," Clank added. He paused for a second.

Waterman fixed his optic on Clank; it was obvious that the smaller robot had a question. "Go ahead," he prompted.

"I am merely curious how you knew Prime Minister Solstice," Clank said. "I know that it was only through his intercession that we were able to observe the additive trials."

The Captain broke off his gaze, looking around the room, up at the ceiling, anywhere except at Ratchet and Clank. "Reginald Solstice has a great deal of talent with electronics and lombax components, along with a reputation for being... discrete." Ratchet looked up at the huge warbot - he sounded almost embarrassed! "He was able to retrofit my, uh, logic interface probe to meet modern specifications." Again, an awkward pause. "As you probably understand, I was most grateful for his endeavor." The warbot's optic flickered again, then in a much more commanding voice declared, "I must return to the bridge."

Ratchet looked at him. "Permission to return to the station?"

"Permission granted," the captain replied and then lumbered through the door behind his desk.

Ratchet and Clank were left alone in the office. "Logic interface probe?" Ratchet muttered to Clank. He was very familiar with mechanics and robotic maintenance, but this was not a familiar component to him. "What's a logic interface probe? Do you have one?"

Clank smiled, recalling a similar conversation over two years ago. "I will tell you later," he said. "And, yes."

Ratchet had a sudden feeling of deja vu and thought that maybe he didn't really want to know. He concentrated on the control deck of the Apogee Station and teleported.

After an extremely brief visit to the central teleport hub, Ratchet and Clank materialized in the control room of the Apogee Space Station. Nicholas and Jasmine turned from the panel they were looking at and simultaneously waved a greeting. While there was still no power in any of the consoles, extremely loud music blared from audio replication units throughout the room. Ratchet recognized it as a Courtney Gears track, but he had never heard it before. Maybe it was from the album Al had sent him. It was kinda catchy; he found himself nodding and humming along.

Jaz turned back to the hyperD panel, hoping to reestablish communication with New Fastoon. Nicholas wandered over to Ratchet, his eyes an extremely bright shade of yellow, with barely the slightest trace of green there. Ratchet could not remember seeing that combination before. "Hey!" Ratchet shouted, trying to carry over the music.

Nicholas shook his head, his ears flapping slightly. As Ratchet watched, the comm crystal on Nick's glove illuminated. "Hey," Nick's voice sounded inside his head. Ratchet looked at his glove - his comm crystal was also glowing. Nick must have enabled his too.

"Hey," Ratchet said quietly.

The actual sound of his voice was lost in the music, but Nicholas heard him through the comm link. "How'd things go with Waterman?"

"Very well," Ratchet replied. "He's actually pretty cool."

Nicholas smiled and nodded. "There's a lot to him I haven't figured out yet, but once he respects ya, he is cool."

Ratchet looked over to Jaz. Nodding in her direction, Ratchet asked, "How'd ya break her handshake?"

Nick's smile turned a bit sly. "I keep a modified toxic swarmer in my manifestor," he said. "Not the whole nest, just a loose swarmer. I let it sting 'er a few times. Got her attention!" Nicholas's smile widened.

Ratchet nodded. He did not know Jaz all that well, but he said, "She seems pretty nice."

"Yeah," Nick sighed, his eyes drifting across the room.

Ratchet grinned watching his reaction. It really was just a matter of time. "What's with the music?"

Nicholas looked around puzzled. "Not sure yet," he said over the link. "It was on when we got here. Haven't found the power source or the audio replicator yet. Not my thing... Not bad, though. It grows on ya."

"Courtney Gears," Ratchet said.

"I know," Nick answered. "Dev and Gamma Beta are big fans o' hers." He looked around again. "The same track keeps repeating, too..."

"I'm sure Clank's thrilled, seein' as how she tried t' kill us," Ratchet chuckled. "Right, Clank?"

There was no reaction from Clank, so Ratchet said louder. "Right, Clank?"

Still no response. Ratchet's smile vanished. "Clank?" he shouted.

Nick quickly moved behind Ratchet's back. He swore over the link.

"CLANK!" Ratchet shouted, worried, loud enough to be heard over the music. It caught Jasmine's attention and she looked over.

"Release the catch, Ratchet," Nick said. And while his voice was still calm, Ratchet could sense the urgency there.

Ratchet pulled the emergency release on the backpack straps. Clank and the straps slipped from his back, dead weight. Nick caught the robot and Ratchet spun around. Pulling the inert body from Nick's hands, Ratchet stared into Clank's optics; they were completely dark. "CLANK!" Ratchet shouted again. Nothing.

Ratchet carried his friend over to the ambassador's desk. With one sweeping move of his arm, he pushed all of the display tablets, still image replicators, documents and components to the floor. The lombax carefully laid his friend on the surface; Clank's servos were rigid, frozen into position. Ratchet grabbed the illuminator that he had just thrown on the floor and held it close to Clank's optics. There was no reaction, nor any sign of visible damage.

Nick said something to Ratchet over the comm link, but the lombax did not hear it. Ratchet deactivated his comm crystal. Very carefully, he placed the illuminator near Clank's side, manifested his portable tool kit, removed his multifunction switztool and began to open the radiator panel on Clank's chest. There was a tiny spark of static electricity as Ratchet grounded himself and the tool against the metal of Clank's chassis.

Ratchet's comm link chimed. The lombax turned toward Nick and growled angrily. "Not now!" he shouted and immediately went back to work.

The link chimed again. Ratchet turned to Nick, but saw the lombax was shaking his head, with his glove extended. His crystal was not glowing. Okay... Ratchet enabled his link and growled into it, "Ratchet here. This better be important!"

"Ratchet?" Clank's voice sounded over the comm link.

Ratchet was so shocked he dropped the switztool. "Clank?" he muttered, puzzled.

"Yes, Ratchet." Clank's voice was extremely calm, but the robot was still inert in front of him.

Ratchet gestured to Nick's glove. Petrov's son activated his link and tied in with Ratchet's. "Clank," Ratchet asked, "what's goin' on?"

"I am not completely certain," Clank responded. "From the moment we materialized on the station, I have been under attack by some form of malware. The override commands were so violent and so intense that I was forced to disable my input channels in order to isolate myself from these signals. Once isolated, I was able to regain control of my systems. However the experience was rather... disconcerting."

"You really had me worried!" Ratchet said, the emotion plainly evident in his voice, even over the comm link.

"I apologize if I caused you undue concern," Clank said. "However it was necessary to preserve my data integrity. I predicted that as soon as you discovered my situation, you would attempt repairs and I would notice an uncomfortable electrical discharge." There was a pause. "It appears that I was correct with my prediction."

"I know. Sorry about that," Ratchet said apologetically. "Are you okay? Can you come back? Wha' do I hafta do?"

"I will be able to reactive my systems unassisted," Clank explained. "But first, you must first remove the source of the override signal. Please describe your present environment."

"There's no power yet," Ratchet said over the link. "The only thing running is an audio replicator."

Clank's optics illuminated. As Ratchet watched they focused in on him. The robot's servos relaxed. Clank pulled himself into a sitting position, and then stood on the desk.

"Clank!" Ratchet shouted above the music.

Clank shook his head. Over the link, he heard Clank's voice. "Ratchet, I have only reactivated my optical inputs. From what you describe, the audio replicator is the likely source of the malware, since there is no other active power generation. I concluded that I could safely reactivate all but my audio sensors. This appears to be accurate." Clank looked around carefully. "What is the audio replicator playing?"

"It's some kind of loop," Ratchet said, looking around the room as well. "It's from Courtney Gears latest album." The lombax smiled. "It's really kinda catchy..."

Clank gave him one of those looks. "Is this the same Courtney Gears that had performed the initial testing of the biobliterator for Doctor Nefarious?"

Ratchet blushed. He muttered to himself and nodded at Clank. Without another word, Ratchet looked a Nicholas. "Get down!" he shouted over the link to him.

Nicholas nodded, pulling Jasmine to the floor with him. Ratchet briefly asked himself why Nicholas was able to get away with that while he ended up flat on his back for even touching Jaz before. Shaking his head and smiling at the obvious reason, Ratchet manifested his combustors. Closing his eyes, the lombax listened carefully for the hidden audio sources planted within the room. Ratchet slowly spun, firing eight times. With each shot, the wildly pulsating music in the room diminished. Finally, with the eight shot, the room was once again quiet.

Ratchet opened his eyes and looked around. The audio generators had been hidden very carefully; some in the controls, others in the fixtures and furnishings. But the room was now still. "You can get up now," he called out to Nick and Jasmine. Jaz had her arm protectively over Nicholas's back as they lay on the floor. Slightly embarrassed, both of the lombaxes climbed to their feet, asking each other if they were alright.

Ratchet looked at Clank. Staring into his optics, Ratchet nodded deeply, once. Clank blinked his optics and began looking around the room. "Thank you, Ratchet," he said. "The override signal has been eliminated."

"Clank," Jasmine asked, "can you locate the audio replicator?"

Clank nodded, looking around the control room with his antenna probe pulsing. "It is located inside the airlock. The power cell is being shielded by the force field generator battery."

Ratchet moved to the airlock. After checking the indicators to make certain it was safe, he opened the inner door and began searching. A small device, about the size of his manifestor crystal, was wedged behind the force field generator circuit panel and the emergency power cells. Ratchet removed it, and after a quick examination, he deactivated the device and removed the audio module. It was not a purchased or manufactured media module; instead it appeared to have been home recorded, using a bootlegged copy of the audio stream. Ratchet shook his head... Pirates... The lombax looked at the label; it was plainly marked as Courtney Gears' latest album, the one that Al had downloaded to him.

Ratchet's eyes opened wide. He quickly returned to the others, closing the airlock door behind him. "It's the same album," he said. Ratchet looked at Nicholas and handed him the audio module. "You said Devon and Gamma Beta were big Courtney Gears fans. What album were they listening to?"

Nicholas immediately activated his comm link. "Dev? Nick." "Yeah, I'm prob'bly gonna need some help with the station, but I've got a question fer ya. What album were you and Gamma Beta listening to last night?" "Yeah, I'm serious." "Mmmhmm." "Where'd ya get it?" "Riiiight..." Nick's eyes turned a very dark green. "Dev - stop! Emergency quarantine protocol omega zed kappa." "No, I'm serious." "Acknowledged."

Nick's crystal went dark, then reactivated. Ratchet looked at his own glowing glove - he had been linked in. "Captain Waterman?"

"Yes, Mr. Neutrino?"

"Captain, I have Ratchet with me. Emergency quarantine protocol omega zed kappa."

There was a sudden silence on the link that lasted for nearly five seconds. A high pitched whine filled the link briefly, making Ratchet and Nicholas instinctively cover their ears, even though the link was really non-audible. After the whine cleared, Captain Waterman's voice returned. There was no trace of concern there; it was as if this was routine.

"Protocol initiated. So, Mr. Neutrino, Minister Ratchet, would you care to explain what is happening and why I just put The Wrench under emergency data lockdown?"

"Captain," Ratchet said, "when we got here, Clank was attacked by a virus; an override signal. He had to shut down his inputs completely to block it out."

"Continue..." Waterman prodded.

"There was music playing on the station when we got here," Ratchet explained. "Courtney Gears' new album. It was the only thing still working. Clank established a comm link with me, explained what was goin' on. We figured out that the override signal was in the audio 'n shot out the generators."

"Captain," Nicholas said, "Devon and Gamma Beta were listening to this same album last night, before Gamma shut down. They bought it from a friend of theirs on New Fastoon, a comm bot working in the hyperD monitoring station."

Waterman swore rather colorfully for a few heartbeats. Ratchet was sort of impressed in a strange way; he hadn't heard such extreme language except from Slag and maybe Mel on occasion.

"Captain," Nick broke in when the cursing faded away, "the comm bot bought a bunch of copies and imported them to New Fastoon. If there's a severe virus embedded in the audio stream..."

Waterman interrupted, "I am well aware of the significance, Mr. Neutrino." There was a pause. "Minister Ratchet, do you have any immediate instructions?"

"Yeah," Ratchet said. "Can you patch in Rich Quantum on New Fastoon?"

There was a click on the line. "Rich," the Regional Minister replied.

"Rich? Ratchet."

Rich was quick to greet him, "Ratchet, any news? How are things going?"

Ratchet cut him off. "Very badly. That comm bot that smashed his control panel. Is he a Courtney Gears fan?"

Rich was puzzled by the question and his voice showed it. "Yeah. From what I heard, when he saw the album Al sent you, he went right to the hyperband and ordered a few copies..."

"Rich, listen very carefully; this is important. There's a virus embedded in the music. It doesn't hurt organics, but makes robots go crazy. That's probably what happened t' yer comm bot, t' Gamma Beta on The Wrench, to the pirates that attacked the Apogee Station and to Clank."

"Clank?!?" Rich's voice was filled with alarm. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine," Ratchet said, looking over at Clank somewhat relieved. "He immediately shut down his inputs 'n fought it off. That's how we figured out what was happening. Rich - whatever this virus is, it's nasty. It's killed at least six pirates so far. If there are copies of this album on New Fastoon..."

"I'm on it," Rich quickly said into the link. "We'll purge the primary data store and erase any copies we can find. I'll tell 3X7, let 'm know what he's up against. I'll get back to you in a little while." Rich disconnected.

"Captain," Ratchet continued, "could you please open a link on frequency one one seven two four six point zero two zero?"

Waterman must have recognized, or at least been somewhat familiar with the frequency, because he responded, "Aye!"

It took a moment, but the link was connected. Ratchet could hear a tranquil combination of pan flute and zither music in the background. There was a sound of water dribbling over stones and a soft chanting of "aaaarrrr..." in the background. Suddenly Sprocket's unusually mellow voice answered. "Aye?"

"Sprocket!" Ratchet shouted over the link.

"Capt'n Ratchet!" Sprocket hastily replied. There was a slight screeching noise as the background audio recording suddenly was cut off. "Beggin' yer pard'n, Capt'n. Twas a yoga break."

Ratchet shook his head and wondered for a moment if yoga was popular back in Waterman's day. The thought of the barrel shaped captain meditating was more than he could bear. "Sprocket, I found out what happen'd t' our lads."

There was a grating noise and the sound of an audio module being snapped in half. So much for the relaxation music. "Jus' tell us who, Capt'n. We'll make 'em pay fer this!"

"NO!" Ratchet shouted at Sprocket. "Payback's mine!"

Sprocket sighed. "Aye..."

"Listen, Sprocket," Ratchet explained very carefully to the pirate, "there's a virus. The lad's 'd been listenin' to a Courtney Gears album. Ya know 'er?"

"Aye, Capt'n," Sprocket said. "Pete brung 'er aboard b'fore 'e ran off with her."

What? Ratchet's mind spun. No, he couldn't have heard that right. Courtney Gears and Rusty Pete? It was just too impossible to even contemplate.

"Sprocket, 'er latest album. The lads 'ad a bootleg of it. There's a virus in the music, it made 'em do this... I want ya t' delete 'em all; all copies on all the ships. Got it?"

"Capt'n, ya can't be serious," Sprocket said. There was a slight rattling on the line, as though Sprocket was shaking again. "There 'asn't been a case o' sound corruption in a thousand years."

"Sprocket..." Ratchet threatened.

"B'sides, she's got top requests on pirate radio..."

Captain Waterman's voice, in full pirate mode, broke in on the line. "Yull do as yer told!" he shouted into the link. "The Capt'n gave an order, 'n yull be scrap if ya don' carry it out!"

"I know that voice," Sprocket said. "H2OMN?"

"Ya got a probl'm wi' that?" Waterman barked.

"You two... You two know each other?" The rattling over the line grew significantly more intense. If Sprocket was terrified before, the pirate must have been beyond all reason now.

"Yes," Ratchet replied, in that dangerously threatening, quiet voice he used earlier. "He's told me all about ya." Ratchet paused, and the shaking intensified. "All of 'em, Sprocket. I don' want any more o' me lads gettin' 'urt by this virus. Got it?"

"Yes, Captain!"

After a moment, Waterman barked, "NOW!" over the link.

"Yessir! Capt'n! Captains!" Sprocket dropped the link in a panic.

Nicholas looked at Ratchet, whistling slightly into the still open link between himself, Captain Waterman and his brother.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Neutrino?" Captain Waterman asked in his somewhat formal tone.

"Not at all, Captain," Nick was quick to reply. He chuckled slightly. "I always knew you had it in you, sir." Waterman did not respond to that comment.

"Ratchet," Clank said, "I have an incoming call from Regional Minister Quantum."

"Can you patch it into this link?" Ratchet said. Clank nodded. Jasmine also activated her comm crystal and listened in.

"Ratchet? Rich."

"Hey, Rich," Ratchet began. "I have you patched in with everyone here. What's the story?"

"It looks like we caught it in time," Rich said, rather relieved from the sound of it. "Only four copies were sold in Leonid so far - yours, UR4GD's, Devon Ionosphere and Gamma Beta 39. We've erased your copy and UR4GD's."

"We'll take care of Devon's and Gamma Beta's here. They're both on The Wrench," Ratchet said.

"Good. 3X7 is reverse engineering the virus. You were right; it's a nasty one. He's trying to develop a patch now. The only other victims in Leonid so far were a few cleaning drones that worked in UR4GD's apartment. They've been taken care of."

"Cool," Ratchet replied.

"Uh, Ratchet," Rich said.

The tone in his voice sent a cold feeling down the lombax's spine. "Yeah?" he drawled very slowly.

"3X7 wanted me to warn you: this one's personal. The virus is bad enough, but it's got a special payload. It's designed to take over the host, but it also forces the victim to attack anything remotely lombax..." Rich paused for a heartbeat. "Especially, you."

"Me?" Ratchet was dismayed. His ears perked in surprise and his tail swished from side to side slightly.

"This would not be the first time that this has occurred," Clank said.

"You should be used t' this by now," Nicholas wryly added.

"The doctor found some specific personal information embedded within the virus: your description, your genetic profile, your name, your previous residences and home planets...," Rich sadly said. "You're definitely the target."

"Great," Ratchet mumbled.