All copyrights, trademarked items, or recognizable characters, plots, etc. mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without their express written authorization.

thanks for the beta work, nic. much love always.

His room was freezing. I shivered, wrapping my wet towel tighter around me like it would help.

"Shit it's cold," Edward said, going straight for the air conditioner. The unit's buzz tapered off into silence.

My hair was dripping on to the carpet. "I don't want to get your bed wet," I said, trying not to chatter.

He shook his hand through his hair, scattering droplets of water. "Let's take a shower."

That sounded really good, and for a couple of reasons.

We locked ourselves into the bathroom. I sat on the toilet seat while Edward got the shower started. The room filled with steam and I shuddered in relief as the chill began to leave my body.

"I'm keeping this on," I said, adjusting my bikini top as I stepped into the tub.

Edward snapped the shower curtain shut and pushed me up against the wall, making sure to keep us under the hot water. It was almost too hot. I liked it.

"You can keep it on," he said, kissing me.

Water got between our mouths, making me laugh.

He grinned, sliding us a little further from the showerhead so we weren't getting hit in the face.

I reached up, pushing the wet hair from his face. His smile faded, and he lowered his face to kiss me again, softer this time. I closed my eyes, letting myself go with it. I always let myself go with it, especially when we were alone like this. I loved the way he made me feel, sort of fluttery at first, and then tingly.

He reached up and touched my breast, first over my swimsuit and then beneath it, sliding the material aside so he could feel me.

"Goosebumps." He licked the skin around my nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

I slipped my fingers through his hair, watching him do it.

His eyes snapped up to mine and he let go of my boob, coming back up to kiss me again. He pushed his body against me and he was hard again; maybe he'd never stopped. He nudged his leg forward, making me stand with my legs apart, and filled my mouth with his tongue.

It was so easy to get caught up in him.

Someone banged at the door. I jumped little, my eyes opening.

Emmett's voice was muffled. "Rachel's on her way up, dude."

Frankly, I was surprised we'd had as much fool around time as we did; Rachel and Leah had eyes like hawks. Edward held my face and kissed me one more time before backing up, fixing my top as he did.

"Warm?" he asked, turning off the water.

"For now," I said, dreading returning to the cold. "It's gonna suck going to my room like this."

"You want to borrow something?"

There was more banging at the door. "C'mon Bella, let's go." It was Rachel this time.

"You have extra?"I asked, starting to shiver again.

"Yeah, hold on." He tossed me a dry towel and wrapped himself in another one before opening the door. I heard him mutter something about getting me dry clothes.

Rachel poked her head in the bathroom door, smirking when she saw me still standing in the tub.

"Just so you know, I saw you two as soon as you wandered off."

I smiled, biting my lip. She didn't seem mad. Just amused.

Edward pushed past her, holding out a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Thanks."

He nodded, his eye catching mine for just a second. He shook his head and smiled, shutting the door so I could change.

"What were you two doing in there?" Alice asked, pulling her pajamas on.

"Kissing," I said, wrapping a towel around my head. "It's not like we had time to do much else."

"Would you have?" she asked, grinning slyly.

"Probably. Yeah."

She nodded, sitting on the bed she and Rose were sharing. They knew all about what I had and hadn't done with Edward. They knew what he wanted, and what I wanted.

"Everything he does just… feels really good. And then, I like him anyway. So much. It's like, I want everything he does but I know I'm not ready for it. I don't know why I'm not but I'm not. I feel like I'd know it if I was," I rambled, getting underneath the covers.

"You'll know," agreed Rose, emerging from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. "Not like it's not kind of scary, cuz it is, but it'll feel right." She hadn't slept with Emmett, but their physical relationship was definitely further along that mine and Edward's was.

Then there was Alice, who wasn't saving herself for marriage, but wasn't about to just give it up, either. She said she needed to be with Jasper for awhile before she got hot and heavy with him.

I was somewhere in between the both of them.

I smiled then, thinking about Edward's face in the shower, and how he went from goofy to serious to sexy to sweet. I loved it all, even when it was apparent he was trying to get a reaction from me. Maybe especially then.

The remainder of the weekend was awesome. Rachel remained vigilant, but she was cool about it. In the end, I only forgot to call my mother once; by that point I'd been so on top of it she hardly tripped. After another long day at the parks we left Orlando, so worn out it actually hurt to walk.

"I'm gonna sleep like the dead," Edward said, yawning as he changed lanes to keep up with Rachel and Leah.

"Me too," I said, catching the yawn.

"No falling asleep, now," he warned, giving me the iPod. "I need you to talk to me so I don't doze off."

"I won't," I said, picking out a mellow song.

"Too chill," he said. "Play something loud."

I scrolled through his playlists until I found something appropriate.

Edward walked me in, carrying my bag for me.

My dad, much to my consternation, opened the door.

"Hi, Mr. Swan," Edward said politely.

"Hello, Edward. Hi Bells." He pulled me into a fierce hug, glad (I guessed) I was still in one piece. "How was it?"

"It was great. We had a lot of fun," I said, turning to get my bag from Edward. "Thanks."

"It's cool," he said, brushing his fingers against mine. "I'll talk to you later, okay? I have to check in with my Dad, too."

"Okay. Talk to you later," I said lamely, frustrated that I could hardly even talk to him after a weekend like the one we'd just had.

I closed the door and glanced up at my father, who was still hanging around with this silly little smile. "What?" I laughed.

"You like that boy," he commented.

Ugh. Really?

I shrugged. "Yeah, he's cool."

"Mhm." He peered out the window, watching Edward drive off. "He better behave himself."

"He does," I lied.

"He better." With that he loped off toward the living room, back to his Law and Order marathon, or whatever he'd been watching.

Great. I'd have to ask him to tone it down a little next time. If there was a next time.

I went into my room and collapsed on the bed, tempted to just fall asleep right there.

My phone buzzed.

your dad's a scary mf

I laughed quietly, texting back.

all part of his game

A few seconds later he texted back.

just got home. ttyl

I messaged back and then kicked my shoes off, desperate to climb between the cool sheets of my bed and pass out. It was the good sort of tired, the kind that only comes after lots of fun.

The next day at school I did poorly on a pop quiz, which just sucked; usually Spanish came easily to me. I knew it was a direct result of me not studying, though, and I also knew what I had to do to rectify the situation.

I caught a ride home with Alice and hit the books, knowing that if my grades began slipping my mother would put the lock down. I couldn't afford to mess up.

By Friday, things were looking better. I didn't have any major tests or reports due, and all the public schools were out on half day due to some district wide teacher's workshop. Edward had texted me earlier, asking if I wanted to hang out after school and I said yes. He'd picked me up a couple of times during the week, but our time together was usually cut short because one or both of us had stuff to do.

Not today though.

Instead of going to the beach or my house he turned down his street. He lived in a nice neighborhood, a little pricier than mine but nothing pretentious. I liked it.

"You know, I've wondered why we never come here," I mused as he pulled into the driveway.

"Cuz someone's always here… my Dad'll stop in or the housekeeper… not today though. My parents are in Miami 'til tonight."

"Oh, okay," I said, following him in to the house. I'd only been inside a couple times; we usually partied as a group in the apartment over the garage. The first thing that hit me was how bright it was; there were loads of windows and a set of sliding glass doors leading out of the living room. The whole floor plan seemed pretty open and airy.

We goofed around in the kitchen awhile. I sat on a barstool, watching him make sandwiches.

"You wanna go swimming?" he asked, sliding a plate across the counter.

"Thanks," I said, suddenly ravenous. "Um, I don't have anything to swim in."

"Go in your underwear."

"You'd like that," I said, taking a bite.

He grinned, chewing.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

I nodded, sliding off the stool and taking my sandwich with me. "Sure."

He led me upstairs to his room, careful to lock the door once we were inside. It wasn't as messy as I'd anticipated, but it definitely looked lived in with clothes hanging over his desk chair and two skim boards balanced against one of the walls.

"What do you want to watch?"

"What do you have?"

He proceeded to ramble off a long list of names. I picked something at random, too anxious to really care. This was the first time in ages we'd been really and truly alone, and we would be for awhile.

Once we'd finished eating, Edward rolled up a towel and placed it beneath his door. He packed his bubbler and lit up, taking a couple hits before offering it to me. I hadn't smoked in a while so after one pull I was fine. He put it down and opened his window wide, letting the room air out.

"That tasted good," I said, lying back on his bed.

"I know. I got it from Tyler's friend."

We relaxed, talking, forgetting about the movie droning on in the background.

And then there was that moment, the one we always came to, when our words tapered off and I knew he was going to kiss me. He tasted nice, like weed and strawberry Fanta.

I shifted over, letting him roll on to me.

He reached down and unbuttoned my jeans. I let him, lifting my hips so he could pull them off. He didn't touch me right away, though. We kept kissing… slow, drawn out kisses. I felt like I was floating or drowning or maybe both; I was high on trees, but high on these lusty feelings, too.

Edward pulled away, onto his knees, and took his shirt off. He helped me take my shirt off too, leaving me in just a bra and panties. I shivered, not because I was cold, but because I was aroused. By the look on his face, so was he. He rubbed himself against me, sliding down my body as he licked and sucked my skin.

"I like when you do that," I heard myself say, finally admitting out loud that it turned me on when he left hickies on my chest. It felt good when he was doing it, and it was like a secret later, when I was by myself, and looking at them.

But then he went lower still, and my heart slammed in my chest.

Oh my God.

He sucked on my stomach and then went lower, pulling my panties off altogether.

My mouth went dry. I watched him, almost too nervous to move.

When his tongue touched me it tickled. I giggled and pushed his head away, which only made him go back and do it again. It stopped being funny then, and started feeling so good I thought I'd die. His fingers always felt good, but his mouth was a completely different story.

I tried to hold still, unable to believe he was actually going down on me. Still, I didn't want him to stop. I felt myself getting wetter and I was almost embarrassed, but I felt too amazing to make him quit. His fingers went inside me so easily this time.

I touched his hair, nearly incoherent with what he was doing, and started to come. He pushed his fingers in and out, faster and harder; for a second all I could think was I couldn't wait until we were actually having sex.

He climbed back up my body and wiped his mouth. I pulled him down to kiss him, to thank him I guess, and I could taste myself, which was a little weird… but not bad.

Before I could chicken out I got to my knees and started unbuckling his belt.

"You don't have to," he said, catching my wrist.

"Just show me how," I said, getting the belt off and starting in on the button to his jeans.

Not surprisingly, he let me get him naked. I'd never seen him this naked before. Maybe he was thinking the same thing because he reached up and unsnapped my bra. I took it off completely, and then it was just the two of us, bare, in broad daylight.

It was a little weird, but then again, it really wasn't. He'd just had his face between my legs. If there was any time to feel awkward, it would have been then. Besides, I spent so much time with Edward lately that this almost seemed natural.

"Show me," I said again, getting between his legs. I lowered down and licked him, amused by how his dick, like, moved by itself.

He took one of my hands and wrapped it around the base if his dick, like he had the first night I jerked him off. He put his hand in my hair, just barely. "Just… do what feels good, I guess. It'll feel good for me, I promise."

"You gonna be pissed if I can't swallow it?"

He made a face, and then laughed out loud, falling back on his pillow. "I don't think I'm going to care at that point, Bella."

So I went for it.

It wasn't that terrible really, as long as I didn't go too deep. My jaw did start to get tired after awhile, so I just used my hands for a minute. Not that he minded. When I peeked up at him he was staring down at me, his mouth open because he was breathing so heavy.

When he got really hard, like even harder than before, I had a feeling he might be getting close.

"I'm gonna come… " he said. It sounded like he was forcing his words out. "If you don't want it you might want to move…"

I just kept sucking and working him with my hand. If it was horrible I wouldn't do it again.

His hand tightened in my hair, and then he let go. He came in my mouth. I sat up, panicked and focusing on not gagging. He pointed to the trash can and I spat it out.

Then I rinsed my mouth in his bathroom. It wasn't awful, but it wasn't ice cream either.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was crazy and my cheeks were flushed, but I was okay. I'd done it and judging by the sounds Edward had been making I'd done a decent job. Him going down on me was a different story though. I'd be dreaming about that for sure later…

"Sorry," I said, coming back to bed. Edward had put his boxers on. He grinned lazily at me.

"I'm not."

We spent the rest of the afternoon fooling around. He used his hands to make me come again.

The sunlight coming through the windows had shifted a lot since we'd come into his room. It was late now, a lot later.

"I should get home," I said, pulling my t-shirt back on.

He yawned and got off the bed, stretching. "All right. Give me a second."

I wandered around his room while he was in the bathroom, looking at his posters and trophies. Unlike my bedroom, there weren't really any pictures up except for one of him, Emmett, and a younger girl. It was obviously Katie; I thought she looked a lot like Emmett.

"Ready?" Edward asked.

"Yeah."

He came toward me hesitantly, and then pulled me closer. It made my heart squeeze in the weirdest way.

The house smelled like pizza when I got home. Immediately, my mouth began watering. I hadn't eaten since one or two, when Edward made us sandwiches.

"Hey Mom," I yelled, giving myself the once-over in the hallway mirror before proceeding.

"Hey, honey."

I found her in her room, looking through a box.

"Didn't you guys have early release today?" she asked, frowning as she continued rummaging around.

I snickered inwardly at her choice of words.

"Yeah, we did. Did you guys have it too?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation away from me.

"Well, yes – I mean, the kids did. I was in the workshop. I thought you'd be home when I got here."

"When did you get back?"

"About an hour ago."

"Oh." I tried not to look guilty. "I was hanging out with Edward."

"Ah." She smiled, sitting on the bed. "I had a feeling."

I loved my mother, but her perceptiveness creeped me out at times. It was like she knew more than she let on. I really hoped she didn't – if so she'd probably lock me in my room and lose the key.

Or buy me a chastity belt.

"What? Why? I could have been with Alice or Rose…"

"Are things getting serious with Edward? Do we need to have him over for dinner soon?"

"Mom," I groaned, collapsing onto her bed. "No. No dinners."

"What's wrong with dinner? Boys love food."

"Yeah, but… just…no."

I heard her sigh.

"Okay, how's this. I think you're a little young to be so into a guy but you obviously like him a lot so I won't discount your feelings. But. I would like to know him a little better. He drives you around, Bella. I think I should at least know his last name."

"Cullen. I told you that, Mom, when they came to pick us up – "

"You know what I mean. It'll be fine."

"Yeah, especially when Dad goes all creepy cop," I grumbled." It'll be an interrogation. Ugh."

She must have found whatever she was looking for because she closed the box up and put it back in to her closet. "All I'm saying is if you're going to be hanging out with Edward all the time I want the chance to get to know him. Ask him. He probably won't even mind."

I got up, shaking my head. "I'll ask him. But don't be surprised when he goes running for the hills."

Edward didn't say no, to my great shock and slight dismay. He said his mother was curious about me, too.

When I asked him how she knew about me he said something about an earring and Emmett having a big mouth.

My hand shot up to my ear and, sure enough, one of the little studs from my second set was missing.

"You've got to be kidding me," I said, mortified. "Where'd she find it?"

"The hall outside my room."

"That's… embarrassing."

"No, embarrassing would've been her finding it in my bed."

My stomach flip flopped as I thought about what we'd done the day before.

"That's true."

"So…anyway. My dad's birthday is next weekend. You can come if you want… and then you can meet my parents."

"Okay," I said, feeling uncertain. Still, another part of me felt really damn special he'd let me meet his parents. "When do you want to… meet mine?"

"I don't know; whenever. Just give me a heads up so my mom knows I'm not coming home for dinner that night."

"Okay," I agreed, my heart racing at what we'd decided. It made it seem so official. "I'll ask her and text you later."

"Cool. "

"You going out tonight?" I asked, trying not to yawn. Alice had stayed over the night before and we'd been up late, watching movies and goofing off.

"Probably not. Jake and Ty are coming over to lay Call of Duty later."

"Oh, okay. Yeah… I think we're going to hang out at Rose's."

"Well… call me if you get bored," he said.

That made me smile. "I will. Bye."

"Bye."

I threw my phone down on to my bed and went out to the back porch, where my mom was having a glass of wine with one of her girlfriends.

"Hey Mom… excuse me."

She looked up at me expectantly.

"So… he said whenever you wanted to have dinner was fine."

She smiled smugly, raising her glass. "How about Wednesday?"

"Wonderful," I said, plastering a cheesy grin on my face. She swatted my backside with a book as I walked away, saying something about "Bella's boy" to her friend. Seriously, she made me sound like I was seven sometimes.

We floated quietly in Rose's pool, listening to music. She'd hooked her iPod up to its dock and set it to shuffle, mostly mellow songs.

I loved Rose's pool at night. Her parents always put the heater on for us, so the water was warm and inviting.

I'd told Alice and Rose about my afternoon of experimentation with Edward. Rose was excited, pumping me for details, but Alice seemed more subdued, smiling softly.

"So… what's up? Do you think I shouldn't have done it?"I asked finally, noting her stoic expression.

She shrugged. "If you felt like it was right, then I can see why you did it."

"But…"

"But I don't want you to get hurt. I just feel like… you should guard your heart."

Only Alice could say trite things like that and be totally sincere. "You said, way back, that he liked me."

"He does like you. Obviously. But stuff happens, you know?"

"Is there something specific I should know about?" I asked, my heart plummeting. Had Jasper told her something?

She shook her head. "No! No… I really just mean in general. You're not like Rose."

"What, a cold hearted bitch?" Rose piped up, splashing closer.

"Yeah," laughed Alice. "Although I wouldn't have put it like that…"

"I feel you," Rose said, dripping water from her fingertips. "Like, you're really honest and idealistic about things, Bella. Which is awesome. But it also makes you a bit vulnerable."

"You guys make me sound like such a softie," I complained.

"You kind of are," Alice said, flicking water at me. "It's not a bad thing."

"Why are you only saying these things now?" I asked.

"Cuz you're in way deep, and it looks like you're about to get in a lot deeper," she answered. "Don't get me wrong; I like Edward. I like all those boys. I don't think they're as shady as I once thought. But just… be careful. I love you, querida."

"I love you too," I said quietly.

She wasn't saying anything I hadn't already thought about myself, but it was different hearing it from friends. Still, I was glad she and Rose kept it real with me.

"You're not mad, right?" Rose asked, swimming up.

"No. Just thinking," I said, submerging my shoulders. There was a breeze and the parts of me out of water felt cold. "It's weird, like… when I'm with him nothing else matters. It's just us, and it makes sense. And I love it. I know anything could happen, any time, but when I'm hanging out with him everything's good."

Alice nodded. "I know I don't talk about him a lot, but it's like that with Jasper. I'm just…taking it really slow with him. I like him way too much already."

We stayed awhile longer, chatting until we were pruny and cold, and then we climbed out.

After showers, Alice helped me blow dry my hair so I wouldn't have to sleep on it wet. It was getting long now, and I was caught between cutting it like I usually did and letting it grow out.

"Where is Rose?" Alice huffed, running her fingers through my hair one last time before turning off the hair dryer. "I bet you she's talking to Emmett on the phone."

"Probably," I said, fighting a yawn. I was tempted to text Edward, myself.

Rose came back in to the room, and sure enough, her phone was in hand.

"So how's Em?" I asked dryly.

She rolled her eyes. "They've been playing video games all night and they're still going strong. There are a bunch of them over there. So lame."

"What do you want to do? Watch a movie?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, that's fine." Rose flicked the TV on and settled on the scheduling menu so we could see what was on.

My phone buzzed beneath my butt; I hadn't realized I was sitting on it. I fished it out from the blankets and held it up, smiling when I saw the message. There was something timelessly awesome about knowing somebody was thinking about you, especially when you were thinking about them.

What r u up to?

Nothing. Swimming, movies. U?

Call of duty round 72892001

Lol yeah rose talked to em

He's playing right now. I'm over it tho

I took a deep breath, deciding to just go for it. I wanted to see him tomorrow.

Want to do something tmrw?

Like what

I don't know. movie?

I'll pick u up from R's

k. call so im ready

k. my turn again. gotta go

bye

I knew I had to guard my heart. But I also wanted to follow it.

songs:

Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer

Lay Me Down - the Dirty Heads ft. Rome

Rock the Boat - Aaliyah