I sank deeper into the sudsy water. I didn't want a blood bond with anyone. I wanted to feel like myself again, like I hadn't since this whole damn thing started. The idea of being bonded to a 2000 year-old vampire terrified me. The thought of more pain like I'd experienced earlier terrified me, too. I couldn't trust Eric right now, not knowing what Yash-Ar might have done. Yet, I was intuitively trusting Bill, not something I thought I would ever do again.

Sam was reacting as I would expect. He was afraid for me and afraid of losing me forever to one vampire or the other. I wasn't sure what he would do if I decided to take Bill up on his offer. I hoped he would try to understand..

I leaned back against the tub, closed my eyes, and tried to relax. The water was warm and comforting. I must have drifted off. When I opened my eyes, everything seemed blurry, as if I was looking through window glass in a rain storm. I closed my eyes and rubbed them. It didn't help. If anything, it was worse. Everything was still out of focus, and the room seemed darker. Gradually, everything faded to shadow.

I was going blind.

I started to yell for Bill or Sam, but then I remembered I was naked. Even in my distress I knew I didn't want them to see me this way. I felt my way to stand up, reached for the towel and managed to wrap it around me before the first wave of pain hit. It drove me to my knees and I screamed.

I heard the pounding of feet on the stairs. "Sookie!" Sam yelled. Bill burst through the door with Sam right behind.

"It's back. Oh God make it stop! Makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop." I moaned.

I felt Sam kneel beside me. He pulled me close. Warmth seeped through his shirt and I pressed my face against his chest hoping it would ease the pain.

"I can't see." I whimpered.

"What?" Bill leaned in, I felt his cool hand smooth back my hair. "What did you say?"

"I can't see." I choked the words out again.

"Get a robe, get something t cover her up." Sam said to Bill. "We have to get her to the hospital."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why the hell not?"

The pain came in waves. It subsided, then, just as I thought maybe it was gone, it crashed back into me. I couldn't talk, I could only listen to Bill and Sam argue. "Please..." I murmured finally.

"Sookie." Bill's voice was close to my ear. "If we're going to do this we should do it quickly. Do you want this? I can't promise it will make the pain go away completely, but..."

"Do it. Please." I said.

Sam gripped me harder. "No."

"You read the information. You heard her. Now do something to help. Go get me a knife."

Sam let go, pushing me towards Bill. "I'm not staying here to watch this." He said. I heard his feet on the stairs. Moments later the door slammed and I heard the howl of Sam's dog as he ran into the night.

"I'm sorry." I gasped.

"Shh. Shh." Bill soothed. "Sam will be back. He loves you, you know." He held me until the pain subsided and my vision returned.

I sat on the bed, wrapped in my robe, exhausted and scared. "If we're going to do this, let's do it now, before I lose my nerve." I said.

"Sookie," Bill's dark eyes were serious. "Are you sure about this?" He knelt beside the bed.

I pulled the robe tighter around me. "I'm sure."

"Alright." Bill's eyes softened, but his tone was still grave. "I promise you on my honor, when this is over and you are safe I will release you from this bond."

I gazed at him and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Thank you." I lay back against the pillow and pulled the collar of the robe away from my neck, baring it for him. Lifting my chin I took a deep breath. "Do it." I said.

Bill leaned over me. He hesitated for a moment and I felt his cool lips brush my skin. He inhaled deeply. "Sookie." He groaned. Then he bit. It stung for a second, but with the pull of his feeding I felt another, deeper pull low in my belly. I slipped my arm around him, holding him close. He shifted his weight, and I could feel his arousal. This was only natural, I told myself. Whenever Bill had taken blood from me, we were making love. Our bodies were only reacting to that memory, nothing more.

Shaking slightly, Bill released his hold on my neck. He licked the spot and I knew the little wound would heal quickly.

"Your turn." Bill said. He had no knife, so he bit his wrist and pressed it to my lips. My own pulse pounded in my ears and other places as I latched on. Vampire blood is thick and sweet, like honey, but with a metallic edge. I fought the urge to gag and once it passed, I was transported. I held his wrist to my mouth with inhuman strength, drinking him in as if he was life itself. And maybe he was.

"Sookie." I heard my name as if from far away. "Sookie. Stop." The wrist was ripped away and I clawed for it, growling low in my throat. "Sookie." Bill's voice was sharp and startled me into awareness.

I looked at him. His eyes shone and in them I saw truth. He loved me. He had said it over and over, but I wasn't able to hear. Now he was saying nothing, and I simply knew. He loved me. There were undercurrents of other things, guilt and lust among them, but what pulsed most strongly and undeniably through our newly established bond was love. A sense of comfort and belonging that I had not felt since Gran died washed over me.

Bill took my face in his hands and kissed me gently on the forehead. "You should sleep."

"Stay with me." I said, taking his hand.

"I'll be right downstairs." He didn't meet my eyes.

"Stay here with me." I touched his cheek, turning his face toward me.

"Sookie." He sighed. "That isn't a good idea." I felt his conflict. I tried to send him reassurance through the bond, but I must have sent something else entirely.

His eyes opened wide. "You still love me." His voice was full of disbelief.

I nodded. There was no reason to deny it. "Bill." I squeezed his hand. "When this is all over, when I'm safe and Eric is safe....I have some figuring out to do. I love you. I've never really stopped loving you, but I didn't think I could ever trust you again. I was wrong, you've proven that, but I know I can't make any decisions right now. And I can't do anything that might make things more complicated later."

"No." Bill agreed. "I would not want you to."

"So, if you need to go downstairs I'll understand."

He smiled then, such a rare thing. "I think I can control myself. Can you?" He raised an eyebrow.

I pulled him down next to me and lay my head on his chest. "I'll give it my best shot." I said.

He chuckled and stoked my back. His needless breathing, deep and slow, lulled me to sleep.