Moving Forward

Four days after Sango and Miroku's wedding, Inuyasha hadn't been seen in the village; there was still evidence of celebrations and the happy couple rarely made an appearance themselves. Nobody missed the morose hanyou very much; at least if he wasn't there they could forget his loss and not feel so guilty when they called out happily to one another that the growth in the village was a good thing for its prosperity. There were also a lot of good natured calls at the couple as to when they could expect news of the first child.

Inuyasha didn't want to spoil their fun, but he couldn't feel in all honesty that he could join in either, at least not yet. He didn't go far, not far enough that he couldn't be back if danger threatened, but he had several hiding places in his forest. Eventually though he returned, first of all he was hungry and the stew in Kaede's hut smelled very good. Neither she nor Rin commented on his entrance and Rin just smiled as she handed him his bowl, convincing him that they had agreed to act normally around him.

Inuyasha knew that Sesshoumaru had visited the village and the proof was a large wooden chest that was put in a corner of the hut, and after the meal had been cleared away, Rin showed him the contents. Some of the finest toiletries of the time, combs and hair ornaments besides several books, were stashed away beside a soft undershirt and new kimono. As Rin showed him her treasure, Inuyasha looked with meaning at Kaede, who merely raised her eyebrows but said nothing.

The next day, both Inuyasha and Miroku made plans to build an extra room at Kaede's hut for Rin to use and the chest would be put in there. It then seemed that every visit from Sesshoumaru brought Rin a gift, sometimes clothing or material, more books or necessities, sometimes a small jewelled hair comb.

The child enjoyed showing off her presents too and Inuyasha was surprised that Sesshoumaru didn't mind everyone knowing that they were from him. But as his brother explained to Kaede after she received new furs for the ground of the hut, it was wise to let people know that he was now patron of the village and that his ward and her carer were not to be neglected or abused.

Inuyasha held his tongue, his own mother was under such care before she birthed him, but it hadn't extended after her death; his own history of neglect was always in his mind when he saw the unrelated human child receive care from his brother. But it did no good to dwell on what could have been in his life ever, everything good always ended in his disappointment, it was about time he accepted the fact.

Inuyasha thought he was doing well, he stayed mainly around the village and Miroku had roped him in to helping him earn his living fairly honestly. It all settled into place and a form of routine for Inuyasha until the twins were born. Miroku was so thrilled with his baby daughters and immediately protective, he barely allowed anyone to look at them let alone hold them at first.

Inuyasha understood, and he left to leave the new family alone, once again going to his high hill to look over the village. He felt very lonely as he sat there; the village life was going on and progressing, his friends were moving on too. He though was doomed to a very long and youthful life with nobody to share; his only true love was far away and perhaps she was moving on as well. He tried not to think of that, it seemed disloyal to Kagome, but on the other hand he wanted her to be happy and if she couldn't return..."

He couldn't bear to think of her in terms of another male's mate, he hadn't given up hope that she would come back, not yet, not as he knew the others were doing. The hints and little messages in their talk whether with him or not, told him they thought Kagome's role in their time was over but he wouldn't give up, and he certainly didn't tell them that he checked the well at least once every three days.

Inuyasha sat with his arms clasped about his knees hugging himself tight because tonight he was vulnerable and he watched as the last rays of the warm sun danced on the surface of the fish ponds, the dying light making a bright sparkle wherever it glanced on the tiny waves of the ponds. The sparkles reminded him forcefully of Kagome's tears, the first time she had seen him human and he was poisoned.

Stupid human emotions Inuyasha thought, as he realised that he was also shedding tears and conveniently forgot that he hadn't yet transformed. But when he did, he didn't try to stop them, he just rested his head on his knees and indulged himself for a while, feeling that he had as good a cause as any to weep; besides it stopped the ache in his throat for a time.

But another downside to being human was that Inuyasha's senses were not so alert and so when he pulled himself together and found that Sesshoumaru was sitting on the hill next to him, it made him jump. Sesshoumaru just smirked, but it was not cruel or harsh expression.

"Really Inuyasha, how did you survive alone for so long if you didn't even know I was here?" There was no answer, so he continued; "It is not safe for you to be out here on your own." He watched Inuyasha wipe his eyes on his sleeve, a touch of empathy in his golden eyes and he decided to share;

"I too understand the despair of grief Inuyasha; our father and later with Rin. I have never fully reconciled to our father's death."

"I know." Inuyasha replied, but rather than go on down the familiar paths of resentment, Sesshoumaru changed the subject.

"You are remembering your Miko, will you be alright?"

"Yeah, it's not just Kagome though, it's her family too. They always treated me as part of the family and I miss them...well, her Mama and Souta. I was like his big brother and he looked up to me a lot. I was just thinking all my friends have families now and I won't see them again." Inuyasha failed to hide the fresh tears, but Sesshoumaru didn't deride him.

"You used to adore me in the same way Little Brother."

"Yeah well, I soon learned not to."

"Perhaps one day we will be able to put the past behind us fully Inuyasha. A truce is so fragile; it would be a good thing to solidify it, I think." Sesshoumaru stood and waited for Inuyasha who was stunned by his brother's words, but soon the human boy walked back down the hill, at last in the acknowledged protection of his elder brother.

SFX Challenge First Tweak- Paa! Sparkle