It's ok to be us chapter 10
Breaking Point
Rinoa was upset. Squall had remained behind in Trabia and sent the others back to continue teaching their classes. He gave the order for Quistis and Zell to cover his classes while he remained behind to stay with the civilian workers. Quistis would dispatch a team of four to be under his command, and they would search for Suru, and upon completion, properly stock the training center with low level monsters, and make sure the barriers and defenses were activated.
"I'll be gone for three days, Rin. Four tops." He had told her as she boarded the Ragnarok.
It had been four days. So where the hell was he? She promised herself that she wouldn't be the 'clingy girlfriend' and would simply wait for his call. He always called at night. They would talk until she fell asleep, and last night they had even turned on the video chat. Rinoa had mixed feelings about it. Seeing his face was like a drug to her. It made her feel better in that moment, but when she woke up, she missed him so much more. Yes, Rinoa was an addict, and Squall Leonhart was her drug of choice.
Her classes were coming along fine, but over the last four days she found herself becoming more and more exhausted, as though she were a battery that had been depleted in Trabia. Perhaps, more accurately, it was as if the one who could recharge her had remained in Trabia. Sleep wasn't helping, and, although Selphie had tried to cheer her up, no friendly companionship, or food, or anything, could slake her need for him.
So she sat in the cafeteria, alone, playing with her food. She took a passing interest in trying to spear one particular pea with her fork, but she really wasn't hungry. She just couldn't help but think about their sexually charged encounter in the training center.
He had wanted her. Needed her. The same way she needed him. It went beyond the physical pleasures of sex, although that was certainly part of it. With their bond growing, she began to felt like she wasn't complete without him. And the desire to amplify that union once more was becoming an obsession. She decided, in that moment, she would do whatever was required so that the next time it was about to happen, it would happen. She no longer cared when, how, why, or under what circumstances. She would give herself to him completely, and she knew it needed to be soon.
"May we join you?"
Rinoa looked up and saw Selphie and Quistis holding their dinner trays.
"Oh... Yes... Of course." Rinoa said to Quistis, who had made the request.
The blonde and brunette sat next to her. Rinoa returned to staring at her barely touched plate.
"You really miss him don't you?" Quistis asked delicately.
"Of course she does! Look at her! She misses him terribly. So much it hurts!" Selphie chimed in. Rinoa still didn't speak.
"Selphie, I was trying to be sensitive, and not smack her over the face with it. Rinoa, look, I'm sure he'll be back soon. His team has already stocked the training center and set up the barriers. Now he's just searching for Suru, or clues about what happened to him and where such a large mass of Forbidden came from. Unfortunately, if they don't find anything soon, they probably won't at all. One way or another, he'll be back soon." Quistis said reassuringly.
"I hope so..." Rinoa said, speaking for the first time in what seemed like hours.
"I know so! Plus, it's only one more week until midterm recess! We'll have a whole week to go shopping and PAH-TAY!" Selphie squeaked.
Rinoa sighed. Her friends had tried to cheer her up before, but she didn't want to be. She just wanted him.
"Thank you guys, but I think I'm just gonna go lay down. I'm not feeling well." She said, standing up. She waved at them, threw away her plate, and walked to her room.
When she arrived, she saw a strange package sitting on her doorstep. She picked it up and confirmed that is was indeed addressed to her.
Once she was in her room, she studied the box. It was relatively compact and about as tall as her forearm. It had no return address. She retrieved a pocket knife from her purse and cut open the box.
After removing the protective wrapping, she held in her hands a large rectangular glass box. She held it upright, noticing that it had a polished silver base with two indentations, and was open at the front and top. The glass connected to the silver platform was tinted, but still transparent. Upon closer inspection she saw that on the inside, the glass had a mirrored surface.
She pondered the object for a moment. It was beautiful in its simplicity, but the two-way mirrors on three sides gave her an idea. She looked at the packaging again and noticed the shipping box was not yet empty.
She gasped, and let out a small cry as tears came to her eyes.
From the packaging she withdrew two plastic bags each containing candles, one with gold, the other with silver.
Tears falling freely, she took out one of each and set them within the base. Quickly, she rummaged through her desk and retrieved some matches. She lit the candles with shaking hands, and turned off the lights.
From the open front, it merely looked like two candles sitting in front of a mirror. But as she looked at either side, she could see the beginning of the rebounding reflections. She spun it ninety degrees and peered through the glass. From this angle, she could clearly see through the glass, past the flames, to the other mirror, which, sure enough, displayed each of the million reflections. She marveled at how, as Edea had told her, the reflected flames did become smaller and smaller until they appeared as one, single, tiny ball of light within the mirror.
Rinoa was now crying, almost hysterically. It was beautiful. She wasn't sure if this made her feel better or worse. It did indeed make her feel a rush of love and warmth, but it also increased her longing exponentially.
Pulling herself together for a moment, she carefully picked up her new and now treasured possession and set it on her night stand. She positioned it so the open front faced the room, and, more importantly, so that one of the parallel panes of glass faced the top of her bed. She took a moment to stare in amazement at how it lit up her room. It was mesmerizing. The whole room was bathed in a soft flickering light. Beams of light emitted from it in all directions, and the angles they produced were truly beautiful.
Rinoa curled up on her bed, now sobbing, and stared at the candles and their reflections once more. She didn't know who had made this, or how, but she knew her knight was behind it. She also knew that after her mother's ring, and Squall's, this was now her most prized possession.
A cold nose nudged her arm.
"Angelo! Of course you are my sweet little girl. Come here!" She said, smiling through tears. Angelo jumped up on the bed and curled up next to her. Rinoa cuddled the dog to her. "You stink! Maybe your daddy will give you a bath when he comes home."
She choked on those words as she said them. She couldn't resist making herself cry harder now that she had started. She knew Squall had affection for the dog that had grown over the last year. Angelo loved him; he would take her along on his morning exercise in the training center. They would run, and train against the monsters found along the way. Rinoa had seen it a few times and would swear that Angelo listened to Squall more than her.
But the thought of her and Squall being this dogs 'parents' made her cry even harder.
It was like they were a little family.
At this, Rinoa sobbed into her dog's back. She held the dog close and ran her hands through the silky, if smelly, fur.
Family.
She thought about having sex with him a lot. But she hadn't really considered the thought of having his child. Or children. Could sorceresses even get pregnant? What if they couldn't? Would he be angry with her? The thought scared her, but she knew it shouldn't. Neither of them was ready for children, not by a long shot. But she wanted them someday, and she wanted them with him. She wanted to raise her kids to love having dogs just like she did. She wanted to teach her children to be kind and strong, and she knew they would be.
But for that she needed her partner. They would raise their two, maybe three, children together, as mom and dad, and as husband and wife.
Rinoa's energy was fading fast. The thought of their wedding overwhelmed her with happiness and loneliness. She didn't need to be married to him. She didn't need to have his child. She just needed him, and soon.
How would he propose? When Rinoa was a little girl, she had dreamed of a knight in shining armor asking for her hand with some grand gesture. She had dreamed about being swept off her feet. But now, her dreams had changed. The person she dreamt of was a knight, but not one in armor. He was the sentinel of her heart and soul. And his words wouldn't be some grand proclamation. They didn't have to be.
"Rinoa Julia Heartilly... Will you...? Whatever." she said, speaking her next thoughts out loud. He would run his fingers through his hair and look away. And she would throw her arms around him, kiss him, and respond simply:
"Yes, I will."
It was only six thirty in the evening. Squall wouldn't be calling until around eight or nine. She took one last look at the beautiful candles, snuggled Angelo, and closed her eyes. Just for a little while.
Squall reached for his mobile when he heard the official Garden executive channel ringtone.
"Leonhart," he said as a greeting.
"Commander, switch to video, you are part of a conference call." Cid's voice said. Squall did so, and was now looking at Cid's face on one side of the screen, and to his surprise, a conscious Bavent on the other.
"Good to have you back soldier," Squall said.
"Thank you, sir."
"Bavent was just about to give his official statement of what happened in Trabia. I figured you would want to hear it." said Cid.
"I would, thank you sir. Go on Bavent. What went wrong with the mission?"
"Permission to speak freely sir?" Bavent asked his superiors. Squall hesitated, but Cid responded in the affirmative. Bavent continued.
"Suru sabotaged the mission. We had brought back a single Blue Dragon in our transport vehicle; it would be too risky to bring back more than one at a time. And the assignment was only to bring back three in total. When we got to the front gate, he stabbed Vance with his knife, and hit me point blank with Hellfire. I don't remember much after that, but I know he activated some sort of device and then freed the dragon by using a spell on the gate. It could have been Flare... I don't know... I'm sorry... I-"
"You're doing fine Bavent. Tell me more about the device. How big was it? What did it look like? Where did he get it?" Squall said. He needed Bavent to focus. If these allegations were true, he needed as much information as possible.
"Yes, sorry sir." Bavent said. Squall could tell he was traumatized, but Squall was proud of his relative focus on delivering the report without falling apart. "I'm not sure where he got it from. He must have brought it with him. It was spherical, and no bigger than a golf ball. I don't know what it was, but... I think after he... killed Vance... he threw it? Maybe? I don't know. I'm sorry."
"That's enough for now soldier. You've done more than enough. Get some rest; we will handle it from here. Dismissed." Cid said, and with a salute, Bavent signed off.
"Find that device, determine its origin and function, and report in. Do this yourself, Squall. Tell nobody. If we have a security breach, then this information is to remain highly classified." Cid said to him.
"Yes sir. Over and out."
Squall sighed and ran his hands through his hair. He felt so... off. Sure he missed Rinoa, quite a lot actually, but he could feel that something was wrong with him. His efforts over the last few days may have been futile in retrospect, but even before discovering this new intelligence, his focus had been waning. A dull pain had begun to fester inside him, and he had made the assumption that it was due to his ties with Rinoa. He couldn't understand it though. She was so far away, and, while he knew she missed him, she always seemed so happy to see him when he called her. He remembered how her face had lit up when she answered his video call. She couldn't be hurting so bad that he could feel it so far away. Could she?
Night had long since fallen; it was after ten o'clock. He stood up from the small desk in his temporary living quarters and crossed to the bed. He removed his boots and jacket, and then called his girlfriend.
It rang once before she answered, and switched on the video link.
"Hey!" She said smiling at him. "I'm so glad you called. I can't even tell you how much I missed you."
Squall studied her appearance in shock. She was soaking wet and clad only in a bathrobe, which was open ever so slightly. She was still dripping water from her midnight hair, and appeared to still be in the bathroom. Squall could make out steam in the room and the tiled walls behind her.
"I, uh, hope I'm not interrupting your shower." He said, unable to hold back a smirk.
"Actually, I was taking a bath. I've been so lonely without you; it's been making me feel terrible. So I was just trying to relax. Do you mind if I continue? I'd really like to get back in while the water is hot."
"No, not at all. Just call-" Squall stopped mid-sentence. She had placed what he guessed was her tablet on the floor of the bathroom, angled back on its stand. She stood and dropped her bathrobe.
Squall could only stare as she stepped out of it. From this angle, he could see only up to her mid thighs, but, when she stepped forward into the bathtub, he caught the briefest glimpse of her naked body as it slipped into the water. She reached over the edge of the tub, retrieved her tablet, and propped it somewhere around, or perhaps on top of, the bathtub faucet. As she did so, Squall was treated to an up close view of her chest, just above her breasts.
Squall watched, entranced, as she leaned back into the water. He now had a view of her nude body in the water, only slightly obscured by the thin layer of bubbles on the surface.
"Hey." Rinoa said with a giggle. "Is this ok?"
"...hey"
"Hey yourself! Silly boy. Come on, talk to me! If this is too distracting I can get out and-"
"No! ...I mean, no. It's fine"
She laughed again. God she was beautiful. She leaned back a little more, briefly submerging her head below the surface.
"When are you coming home to me?" She asked when she emerged, wiping the water from her face.
"Actually, Rin, I have some bad news. I've been given a solo assignment. The details are top secret, but I'm not sure exactly when I'll be back..."
Her face fell, and Squall could see her eyes start to sparkle with tears.
"Oh," she said simply, looking away from the camera.
"I'm sorry Rin. I really am." He said, now feeling his eyes start to water.
"No, it's fine. I mean, it's not; I've been practically dying to have you back. But I understand. It's part of being in love with a soldier. If my mother could do it, so can I." She said with a smile, but Squall could tell it was forced.
They fell into silence for a moment, and Rinoa leaned forward to splash her face with the water. Was she trying to hide her tears? Squall couldn't tell.
"So, I got a strange package in the mail today." She said, grabbing the camera and turning Squalls attention to the bathroom countertop. Squall could see, even on the small screen of his cell, that she had set up her candles in the bathroom for her bath. "I was hoping you might shed some light on this situation for me."
"Oh good! He finally finished it. He told me it would be done a week ago. Lazy jerk-"
"He? Who's he?" Rinoa cut him off as she reset the tablet on top of the faucet. "Please tell me because... Because I love it. It's simply beautiful. And the gold and silver candles... Just like us..."
"I'm glad you like it, because I actually had to call in a favor. A favor that wasn't technically mine to call in. You see, about a year ago, a friend of mine told some feisty girl in blue that he would acquire my ring and make a copy for her, but never did. As it turns out, that ring has a much better home around the neck of a certain beautiful girl than it did under my glove-"
"Squall Leonhart, are you playing coy with me?" She asked seductively. She wrapped one arm around her breasts, though she couldn't exactly cover very much, and leaned into the camera. "See, I'm still wearing it. In fact, it's the only thing I'm wearing."
Squall was again entranced as he looked at his ring, next to hers, on their chain against a very healthy display of that perfect porcelain skin.
"... Yeah. What was I...? Oh. My point is he never made the copy. So with a little guilt tripping, a few gil for materials, and some bribery with frozen meat byproducts, he agreed. We sat down, I drew up the plans, and he put it together."
"You called in my favor and bribed him with hotdogs? You crafty, evil man! I love you so much."
"To my shame Rin, I had to give him a key to the kitchen freezer. He now has unlimited access to all of Garden's hotdogs."
"And here I thought Garden had stopped serving them to encourage healthier food choices." Rinoa laughed again. "Oh, and by the way, this top secret mission of yours better not take too long. Your dog needs a bath. She stinks."
Squall laughed in disbelief. "Wait... My dog?"
"Look, you're the one who takes her to the training center every morning. You're the one that gets her all covered in Grat guts, and mud, and God knows what else. So yes, she's your dog too."
"That's not fair. She jumps in the water to rinse off-"
"Oh, so the nasty training center stream is supposed to make her clean?"
"Well, no, not clean... Just... I don't know. Not dirty?"
"Wow! So you spoil her and have all the fun, and leave me to look like the bad guy when it's time for a bath."
Their tones were serious, but Squall could tell she was moments from losing her composure and laughing. He could feel it from her, and knew she must be feeling the same from him. Rinoa continued:
"You better shape up and become a responsible parent before we decide to have a child-" Rinoa's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my God, Squall, I'm sorry! I've just been thinking about you so much, and how badly I want to make love to you again, and it occurred to me that I hadn't ever thought about us having kids. I don't even know if sorceresses can have children, but I just kinda lost myself in my own imagination to make myself feel better and-"
"Shh... Rinoa it's ok. Really. Just because we're not ready for that, doesn't mean it's a crime to imagine."
"Really?"
"Yes. Tell me about it. How many?" Squall asked in a deep, soothing tone.
"Two. A boy, then a girl."
She was calming down as they spoke, and Squall was glad he could indulge her fantasy, if only indirectly.
"What are their names? What do they look like?" He asked her, trying to draw her in more. He could sense her relaxing, and that, in turn, made him relax and be more comfortable with their conversation.
"Your son would be Jalen Isaac Leonhart..." She trailed off. Squall could sense her becoming sad as she spoke. He was sure tears were streaking through her damp face.
"Jalen, as in the knight of Sorceress Lessica. A fine name. It's interesting that you would pair it with my own middle name. Tell me about him."
"He would have my black hair, but otherwise, he would look like you, with your ice blue eyes and strong facial features. As a child he would definitely be a momma's boy, but by the time his sister is born, maybe four to six years later, he would want nothing more than to grow up as fast as possible so he could be just like his father." Rinoa said, letting out a single sob.
"And our daughter?"
"Raine Julia, after our mothers. Our mothers, who were taken from this world before they had the chance to give us all the love they had for us. Your little girl would be so beautiful, Squall. She would have your chestnut hair and my brown eyes. She would be shy as a child, but growing up with all the love we would give her would lead her to being a very strong and beautiful young woman. And confident. Oh God she would be a stubborn teenager."
"Just like her mother. Would she take her mother's name as you did, just to be stubborn?"
"Yes, and no. Because..."
"Rin, it's okay to be us, remember? Say what you want to say."
"She would take her mother's name, my love. But it wouldn't be Heartilly or Caraway. Her mother's name would be Leonhart."
Squall's heart broke to see the how reluctant she was to admit this to him. So he said the first thought he had, knowing if he over thought this, like he did everything, he wouldn't be able to say it.
"Rinoa, it upsets me to hear that doubt in your voice. It won't be soon... but one day..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "One day your name will be Rinoa Julia Leonhart, if you want it to be. I promise."
Their bond was becoming more powerful it seemed. Even though he was physically very distant from her, her felt her emotions more clearly than he had since they had made love a month ago. And this time, there was no sex, or contact of any kind. But he could feel her joy and relief flow over him like warm summer rain.
"I love you Squall. I miss you. I want you, and I need you. Come back to me as soon as you can ok?"
"I love you, Rinoa. I will always come back to you. Not even Ultimecia could keep us apart. I will come back to you, come hell or high water."
"Oh God, Squall. I need you here. Now. I want you to touch me. I want to feel our bodies and minds connect again. It's all I can think about. It's driving me mad."
Squall, feeling empowered by her lust for him, and overwhelmed by her love, took the lead.
"Then act in my stead. Touch where I long to touch you." He said, his voice now displaying his own lust. The bubbles in her bath had nearly dissipated, giving him a striking view of her body in the water.
"Yes," she breathed as her hand moved under the water to touch her most sensitive area. "Come with me. Let's hit our breaking point together. Please. If I am to be your hands, you must be mine. I want to feel your light reflected inside me as we cross the threshold together."
"Very well." Squall said, complying with her request. He wasn't thinking anymore. He couldn't. "I love you Rin."
"Oh Squall, say it again." Rinoa moaned.
He smiled a genuine smile. Never would he have thought that such a purely sexual act like this could ever be accomplished with such loving words. He borrowed some of hers:
"Rinoa, I love you, I want you, and I need you. I know you can feel it."
"I can feel it Squall. You would rip my clothes off and have me as soon as you saw me, wouldn't you?"
"When I see you next, I will have you right where you stand."
"I cannot wait Squall. Oh God I need it. I love you. And I want to show you how much, with my body, mind, and soul."
Their talk soon faded to soft moans of each other's name. And when Rinoa found her release, Squall felt her pleasure course through him, sending him over the edge himself.
Author's Note: Does phone sex (video chat sex?) count as a lemon? I don't know. Oh well. Hopefully I wasn't too explicit; I'm really trying to behave myself.
Please read and review! I love reading your feedback. And if you want, I may take a leaf from Ashbear/Eternal Tiet's book, and publish a more intimate and detailed scene from this story as an M rated one-shot. Let me know if that's a good idea.
-Noble Falcon