Well, here it is: the long-awaited Christmas story that I was working on. I do not own Transformers (except for Pulse and Berserk), Family Guy, Jingleball, or anything else that I forgot to mention. I hope that you all love the shenanigans within this story. I had fun writing it, and I hope that you all have as much fun reading it.
Some time after the Elite Guard moved out from the Autobot base, it was Christmas time again. Sari was busy decorating the main room with Bulkhead and Bumblebee when Berserk and Soundwave entered the room. "Uh, what is going on here?" asked Soundwave as he saw the decorations that Bulkhead and Bumblebee were putting up. "Oh, we're decorating for Christmas" said Sari. "Christmas? What's a Christmas?" asked Berserk. Sari shook her head before she walked over to the two travelers and talked to them on what Christmas was.
After talking to Berserk and Soundwave, the femme nodded and said "So that's the holiday with all the lights. I remember seeing all of these lights on houses and trees, but I had no idea that the tradition of the light display was for Christmas." "So Sari, when are we going to get the tree?" asked Bumblebee. "We'll go once we're finished decorating this room," said Sari before she turned to Berserk and Soundwave and asked "Would you two like to help?" "Of course" said Soundwave as Berserk and the mech began assisting Bumblebee, Bulkhead, and Sari in decorating the base.
Two hours later, they were walking in the forest looking for a tree. "How about that tree?" asked Soundwave as he saw a fir tree. "No, that one's too small" said Sari. They tried to find the right tree, but the sunlight was fading fast. "We'll resume our Christmas tree hunt tomorrow" said Sari as the robots began heading back to base.
When they all got back to base, Pulse was up and looking at the decorations with Ravage. She saw her grandparents, Sari, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee come back and said to them "I see that you have all of the Christmas decorations up. I was just explaining to Mom on what Christmas was." "Well, we're still looking for a tree. Would you like to come with us tomorrow?" asked Sari. "Of course, I would love to," said Pulse.
The next day, Sari went with Bulkhead, Pulse, Bumblebee, Berserk, Soundwave, Optimus, Blackarachnia, and Ravage on the search for a Christmas tree. They noticed that Sentinel, Jazz, and the Jet twins were also searching for a Christmas tree. "Looks like that we have company" said Sari as they began looking for a Christmas tree. Sentinel narrowed his optics as he saw Optimus' group searching for a Christmas tree. "Hey Optimus! Are you looking for a tree?" shouted Sentinel. "Yes we are" hollered back Optimus. "Seen any good ones yet?" shouted Sentinel. "No such luck" hollered Optimus. "Care to make it interesting?" shouted Sentinel. "How so?" replied Optimus loudly. "First one that makes it back to base with a tree wins" shouted back Sentinel. "What are you two planning on betting? Loser decorates the winner's base with a light display?" said Pulse in a slightly sarcastic voice. "Excellent challenge!" cried Sentinel. "Me and my big mouth" said Pulse quietly as the two groups continued to search for a Christmas tree.
Half an hour went by before Sentinel found a White Fir tree standing besides some smaller conifers. "Found our tree! Looks like this contest is in the bag" said Sentinel with a smug look. "Can we be cutting down the tree? We want to do it together" said the Jet twins in union. "Well, I suppose since we've found our tree first," said Sentinel as the Twins began cutting down the tree. "Heh, I bet that we've found the tree before Optimus' team…" said Sentinel when they heard Bumblebee shout, "I found Ravage." "Say, Ravage found a nice tree to be our Christmas tree" said Berserk as she saw her sparkling in the topmost branches of a Northern Japanese Hemlock. "So, they found their tree…Jetfire! Jetstorm! I'm cutting down the tree" said Sentinel as he looked directly at the Jet twins. "But Sentinel Magnus sir" they said before Sentinel said, "I said that I'm cutting down the tree!" The Jet twins looked disappointed as they backed off from the White Fir as Sentinel took out his lance and began cutting down the tree. Unfortunately for his energy-powered lance, the tree caught fire before it fell down, and set more trees on fire. Bulkhead and Bumblebee rushed over to help Sentinel's team extinguish the flames, but their White Fir (and several other trees) were burned to the ground.
Optimus shook his head before he turned to Blackarachnia and Soundwave and said "Once Pulse and I have cut enough of the trunk, gently pull down the tree, and we'll get Ravage out." They nodded, as Blackarachnia began shooting her webbing around the tree to keep a few anchors on it while Pulse and Optimus began cutting down the tree. Berserk was on standby, making sure that her sparkling was safe. Ravage poked her head out from the tree at random spots, playing peek-a-boo with the Autobots.
It took them half an hour, but they managed to safely cut down the tree without harming Ravage. "Goo?" said Ravage as she noticed that the tree was finally cut down from where it was standing. Before Berserk can catch Ravage, the little sparkling hopped from out of the tree and ran into the forest. Berserk shook her head before turning to Optimus and saying, "I'm going to look for Ravage with Sari. Pulse can help you take the tree back to base. Soundwave can look for Ravage in the sky." "How come I have to go back to base?" asked Pulse. "Because there's a lot of trees here, and there's a good chance that some branches will get caught in your antlers" said Berserk. "Good point" said Pulse as she began helping Optimus with getting the tree back to base.
Over an hour went by, and Berserk, Sari, Bumblebee, and Soundwave hadn't found Ravage yet. "Glad that you could help us search for Ravage" said Sari to Bumblebee. "No problem. Bulkhead wouldn't be too much of a help since he would knock over the trees" said Bumblebee as they all headed deeper in the forest. Soundwave to Berserk, I've found Ravage. I'm circling the area where she's located commed Soundwave to Berserk. "Hey guys! Soundwave found Ravage" said Berserk as she headed deeper into the forest. "Glad that we've found her before the bears came out" said Bumblebee as he followed Berserk while carrying Sari.
They found Ravage in a tree with red and white berries with green leaves. "Sari, what type of plants are those?" asked Berserk as she pointed to the little plants growing on the branches. "Those? The red berry plants are Holly, and the white berry plants are Mistletoe. Both of them are traditional Christmas plants used for decoration" said Sari. "What's so special about those plants for Christmas?" asked Bumblebee. "Well, the holly are used to make wreaths and decorate candles, while the mistletoe is used to kiss beneath it," said Sari. "I hope to Primus that I'm not standing under one with Sentinel" said Soundwave.
Later, the robots returned to base with the holly and mistletoe, and they saw Optimus wrestling with the Christmas tree. "And, we're going to…GAH!" he exclaimed as the tree fell on him. "That has to be the sixtieth time, Optimus," said Blackarachnia. "Actually, it is sixty four times that the tree fell on him" said Prowl. "Ok, it's time for a break" said Optimus as he pulled himself from out from under the tree. Soundwave walked over to the tree, and began calculating on how to put up the tree. "Have you tried to use Blackarachnia's webbing?" asked Soundwave. "We tried that for the first twenty times" said Optimus. Sari then walked over to the tree, looked at the stump, then looked up at Optimus and said, "I've found your problem. You forgot to install a tree stand first." Optimus groaned, then Blackarachnia began massaging his shoulders. Pulse emerged from the back with four armloads, and a tailload, of Christmas decorations from the back when she noticed that the tree was down. "So, what's the problem?" asked Pulse. "Optimus forgot to put a tree stand" said Sari. Pulse put down the decorations, then began rummaging through them before pulling out a tree stand from one of the boxes. She placed it on the tree, then with ease, pulled the tree up and it stood.
For the next five minutes, Berserk had to cover Ravage's audios as Optimus cursed on how Pulse was able to put up the tree in less than a minute while it took him over five hours of trying. He then stormed to his room, with Blackarachnia following him. Pulse shook her head, then began looking for lights for the tree. "Hey Sari? Bumblebee? Ravage? Want to help me decorate the tree?" asked Pulse.
Decorating the tree continued for the next several hours, with the ornaments being placed on each branch with care (and Ravage hiding in the tree). The tree looked great, but it was missing a top decoration. "We're missing the star" said Sari. She noticed Soundwave, and said "Oh, Soundwave?"
"Uh, how long do I have to be up here?" asked Soundwave as he was on top of the Christmas tree in his satellite form. "Just until Christmas" said Sari. "So, for the next four weeks, I have to be up here?" asked Soundwave as he raised an optic ridge. "Well, you have to be up there on Christmas Eve, and on Christmas day" said Sari. "Wonder if anyone has a more embarrassing position than me on Christmas?" said Soundwave to himself.
On the other side of town, Sentinel was wrestling with the Christmas tree as he had for the last ten hours. The tree kept on poking him in the optics and crushing him as he tried to make it stand. Finally, he gave up and began jumping on top of the tree as he began launching a barrage of curse words. "Should we be telling him on how the tree should be up?" asked Jetfire to Jazz. "Nah, Jetfire. We'll let SM continue with his anger on the tree, and when he gives up, we'll put up the tree" said Jazz.
The next day, Berserk was making holiday wreaths with Sari from the holly berries that they'd picked. They even placed a few leftover ornaments on the wreaths when the Elite Guard came over. "Ok, we're here to put up the lights, as agreed" muttered Sentinel as Optimus handed him some lights. Pulse came from out back with even more lights, and a sled being dragged by her tail filled with boxes of Christmas lights. "I couldn't find the ladder, but I found some cute Christmas decorations" said Pulse. "Why do we need a ladder for?" said Sentinel.
"Ow! Sentinel, must you move your pedes so much?" snarled Optimus as Sentinel was standing on Optimus' shoulders. "Hey, I'm Magnus, so I'm the one who gets to be on top" said Sentinel as he began hanging up a few lights. "You know, that sounds creepy if you think about it" said Pulse as she hung up a few lights by the windows. The Jet Twins got to place the reindeer on the roof with Sari as she was instructing them where the reindeer went. "Ok, Blitzen goes with Donner at the front of the sleigh, while Dasher goes at the start of the team" said Sari as Jetfire placed Blitzen next to Donner, while Jetstorm placed Dasher at the front. Jazz was busy decorating Prowl's tree with some lights and a few ornaments while some of the other members of the Elite Guard were decorating other parts of the base.
After an hour of decorating, Pulse went inside with Sari to make some hot cocoa oil. "Say Optimus, what is hot cocoa oil anyway?" asked Sentinel as he hung up a few more lights. "Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm not too sure myself, but last Christmas, Sari made oil nog" said the Prime. "Oil nog? What in Primus' name is oil nog?" asked Sentinel. "Something that Sari made, it was quite good actually" said Optimus as the two continued to put up more lights.
Twenty minutes later, Pulse poked her head out and told Optimus and Sentinel that the hot cocoa oil was ready. Optimus once again had to play the ladder for Sentinel, and his shoulders were hurting again. "Hey Sentinel? Pulse said that the hot cocoa oil was ready" said Optimus. "Yeah, well, we're not going inside until I'm finished with the lights" said Sentinel. "How come you have to always be on top? I could hang up the lights too, you know," said Optimus. "Yeah, well, I'm a Magnus, so I get to be the one who hangs up the lights. You're still a Prime, so you have to play the role of the ladder," said Sentinel. "Oh yeah? Well, this happens to be my base, so I should get to be the one who hangs up the lights at least once" said Optimus.
Pulse was inside with Berserk and Soundwave on the couch (Soundwave had to uplink with Berserk because she couldn't digest oil) when they all heard a loud crashing sound. One moment later, Optimus and Sentinel hopped in, tied together with lights. Ratchet looked at the two of them for a moment, then said "Just what am I going to do with you two younglings?" "You could always plug them in" said Pulse before the entire room burst out laughing.
Hours later, Pulse managed to untangle the two mechs, and the two slumped on the couch. "That had to be the weirdest experience that I've ever had" said Sentinel. "Well, I've had weirder ones," said Optimus. "How so?" asked Pulse as she sat in a chair. "Yeah, I'm intrigued myself," said Sentinel. Optimus' fans whirred, before he began telling the two of the time when Soundwave turned the Autobots into humans last Christmas.
"…so it was Sari that released us from Soundwave's mind control. We never heard from Soundwave again…that is, until our last battle together," said Optimus. Sentinel looked at Optimus for a moment, then said, "I could never imagine something so horrifying happening to you, Optimus." "Well, it wasn't as bad as you thought it was, Sentinel. It was pretty interesting to be a human for once" said Optimus. "I still say that it must have been a horrible experience" said Sentinel in a low voice as he drank more hot cocoa oil.
Pulse woke up the next day with Optimus snuggled around her. "Hmm? Optimus?" she said as she gained awareness of her surroundings. Optimus remained asleep, but Pulse noticed that Blackarachnia was sandwiched between them. Blackarachnia stirred, then woke up to find Pulse staring at her with a single optic. "Hmm…not now, Shockwave. Five more cycles" she said as she dozed off again. Optimus stirred, then woke up slowly to find Pulse staring at him. He screamed before he fell off the berth in a panic, causing Blackarachnia to jump awake as well. "What?" said Blackarachnia in a panic. "Sorry, sorry…I thought that Pulse was Shockwave," said Optimus as he pushed himself up "By the way, what is Pulse doing here?" "Actually, I brought her in here last night" said Blackarachnia "Sentinel stayed the night, and he wanted a room for himself. I told him that there were no more available rooms, then he said that he wanted to share one with Pulse. He said that, since he was a Magnus, he should get his own room, with a possible berthwarmer in it. I remembered you saying on how much Pulse despised Sentinel, so I brought her here." "So, you told her about the future that I told you. Did you tell her that Sentinel was responsible for her death?" said Pulse as Blackarachnia looked at Pulse and squawked "What?"
The rest of the base was up when Pulse finished telling Blackarachnia about her future. She was silent for a moment, before she looked at Pulse and said "So, it was Sentinel that offlined me? And, Optimus that saved my life, but I died a few stellar cycles later?" "Actually, you died a few hundred stellar cycles later, Blackarachnia. You and Optimus managed to produce a few sparklings, but they all died very young. He never knew why they died, but he thinks it must have been to what Sentinel and the others did to your body while you were in that experimental lab on Cybertron. Even when Optimus and I made love on that frozen planet of his, he said that he could never bond with me because he still loved you" said Pulse. Blackarachnia was silent as she thought deeply about what Pulse said to her. By the time she finished thinking through, she didn't notice that Optimus had pulled her into a tight hug as he gently stroked her helm. "Optimus? Why do stay with friends with Sentinel?" asked Blackarachnia. "He's my friend…I can't explain why I stay friends with him, but he's a good friend deep down" said Optimus. "You're not going to let him take me away, are you?" asked Blackarachnia. Optimus noticed that she had pure fear in her optics, before he said, "I'll make sure that never happens, Blackarachnia. I'll offline first before he even tries to experiment on you" as he held her tighter to his chassis.
Pulse was making some more hot cocoa oil when Optimus and Blackarachnia came out of their room. She looked at the couple as they went to get their morning energon as the rest of the base was buzzing. Sentinel had already left for his base and Pulse saw that Optimus and Blackarachnia were a little shaken from what she told them that morning. "So…anything interesting happen while we were in our room?" asked Optimus. He evidently wanted to get his mind off what was supposed to happen to Blackarachnia in the future. "Actually, you missed something hilarious. Sentinel said that he had to leave, and he was saying to Grandpa that he didn't want him pulling any stunts this Christmas when Grandma pointed out that they were under the mistletoe. Grandpa looked up, then looked at Grandma and said 'Do I really have to kiss him?' Sentinel wanted to know what he was talking about, when Sari explained to them about the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe. Sentinel said he didn't want to kiss Soundwave when Sari said he must be chicken. Well, that got Sentinel angry, and…well, we managed to record the whole thing, so you can see what kind of kiss that he gave Grandpa" as she started up the DVD player.
Blackarachnia and Optimus laughed at the scene of Sentinel kissing Soundwave. He was giving tongue to the satellite, with Soundwave flailing his arms around and his optics going wide as possible. Soundwave then pushed Sentinel back, then ran over to this oil container, and began purging his fuel tanks. Sentinel then said "Oh yeah, he wants me." Soundwave came out and saw the video being played. He facepalmed himself, and said "Pulse, did you have to play that tape to Optimus and Blackarachnia? That had to be the freakiest thing that had ever happened to me." "What? I thought that Sentinel looked like a good kisser. By the way, he wasn't better than me, was he?" said Berserk. "Oh no, he had bad breath" said Soundwave "And, his glossa really needed to be cleaned. I don't think that guy brushes."
Later that day, Sari went with Pulse Christmas shopping at the mall. The mall was really chaotic, and Pulse found it easier if they flew to the mall to shop than drive there. They entered the mall, and the place was packed. Sari had to ride on Pulse's neck as they navigated through the crowds. Many people were looking up at Pulse, and some kids shouted "Mommy! I want that!" They made their way to Music Galaxy to look for some CDs for their Autobot friends and relatives. "So, do you happen to know what types of music that your grandparents like?" asked Sari as Pulse looked through the isles. "Yeah, Grandpa is a huge Daft Punk fan, and he's been looking for certain CDs of them for stellar-cycles. What he would really like would be some wing warmers for when he goes to the Arctic or when he's on some frozen planet. I could knit some for Grandma and Grandpa, but we need to get some music for them first. I happen to know of a few bands that Grandma and Grandpa like, but they don't know that these bands even exist. One good thing about the future: you always know what they like, and what they don't like from Christmases past" said Pulse.
Both Sari and Pulse got a few CDs for Bumblebee, Berserk, and Soundwave before they left the store, and headed for a yarn and fabric store. "I just need to get a few things so I can knit a few things for Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, and Blackarachnia" said Pulse. "Wait! Knit something for Blackarachnia?" asked Sari. "Yeah. Whether you believe this or not, her little spider arms get cold. Optimus told me of all the times that she got frostbite on her spider legs" said Pulse. What was ironic was how Pulse defined "a few things;" she cleared out entire yarn and fabric selections for the fabrics that she needed. "Come again," said the storeowner happily as he counted how much he received from Sari and Pulse.
They stopped by Lunar Films and bought a few movies that Bumblebee, Berserk, and Soundwave would like (Pulse told Sari how hard it was to find the movie Hardware in the future). Soon, they stopped off at a bonsai tree store and bought Prowl a specific type of bonsai tree bred to grow several feet and to survive in all weather. "This type of tree is extinct in the future, but then again, Sentinel did exterminate all life on Earth in the future" said Pulse as she gently carried the little tree. They also picked up a few paints and brushes for Bulkhead, some new tools for Ratchet, and some baby toys for Ravage. "So, what are we going to get for Optimus?" asked Sari as they left the mall. "Well, we're going down to a paint shop and make reservations for Optimus to be repainted" said Pulse. "Repainted, but why? I happen to like his blue and red paint job" said Sari. "I didn't mean change his colors, I meant by to have flames painted on his body. Whether you believe this or not, he does get flames painted on him by the time I found him in the future. He got painted on Cybertron a long time ago, but it was done horribly. On Earth, they know how to paint, so I want to give him a chance to have a good paint job" said Pulse. "What happens if he doesn't like it?" asked Sari. "Well, I'll ask him if he would wear his new paint job for a week, and if he doesn't like it, then I'll personally make an appointment to have his old paint job repainted on him" said Pulse.
Optimus was relaxing on the couch, with Blackarachnia scratching him gently under the chin with her servo when Pulse walked in with Sari. Optimus watched Pulse walk by with Sari, talking to her about how she celebrated Christmas with Optimus in her time before Blackarachnia tapped him with a pincher of hers. "Hmm?" said Optimus as he looked at Blackarachnia. "You won't leave me for her, would you?" she asked. "No, she's not my type. Besides, she said that you were offline when she met me in the future, and even then, I refused to bond with her" said Optimus. He petted her back as she leaned on him, offlining her optics as she rested her helm on his chassis when they heard a *crash* and "Ravage!" before they saw Bumblebee chase the sparkling out of the hallway and up the Christmas tree. Bumblebee tried climbing the tree, but since he weighted several tons, the tree fell over. Optimus facepalmed himself and muttered something as Bumblebee began searching for the sparkling in the fallen branches. "How can this day get any worse?" said Optimus when he heard a knock at the garage door. Optimus got up and opened it when he saw Megatron, Starscream, Slipstream, Shockwave, and Soundwave (and his symbiotes) at the door. "Um…so, what brings you to this part of Earth?" said Optimus as he tried to retain his calm. "It's part of a long story, and I have a massive processor-ache" said Megatron as he walked in.
Optimus just stood rooted to the floor as the Decepticons entered the base. "I still can't believe that you're fragging my femme clone!" screeched Starscream. "Yeah? Well, you're just jealous that he has a femme before you!" shouted back Slipstream as she snuggled against Megatron. "I'm mad that he's fragging you. It's enough trouble that I have to listen Soundwave and Shockwave frag each other every other solar cycle, but I draw the line when Megatron frags you. Those two frag each other so loud, it sounds as if Lugnut is dancing with the Constructicons in a ballet!" screamed back Starscream. "The three worst images that I would never be able to get out of my processor" said Optimus as he walked over to the couch and sat down to Blackarachnia. He was silent for a moment, then turned to her and said, "Did, by any chance, you invite them here?" "Optimus, I may have been a Decepticon, but I would never to stoop so low as to invite them here. I don't even know how they got here in the first place," said Blackarachnia. "Actually, it was Waspinator that gave us the location. He wanted us to bring you to Cybertron so you could be a berth warmer for him, but since Tryticon came down with a virus, some of us decided to stay here on Earth while the rest went to Cybertron" said Shockwave. "So, you'll be leaving here soon, right?" said Blackarachnia to Shockwave. His antlers dropped, but he then said "Actually, we'll be leaving here in what the humans call January, so we'll be here for a while." "That's just prime" said Optimus as he placed his servos over his optics.
Meanwhile, Bumblebee continued to search for Ravage in the fallen tree. Laserbeak and Ratbat were curious on what Bumblebee was doing to the tree, so they flew over to the tree and watched the minibot poke around the hemlock. Ravage popped her head out from time to time, saying "Peek-a-boo!" before diving back down in the tree branches. Ravage jumped out of the tree at Laserbeak and Ratbat, startling the two before she dived back in. "Now, where's that little femme?" said Bumblebee as he began poking around the tree with his servos.
Soundwave couldn't help but notice Ravage playing around with Bumblebee, so he strolled over and said "Query: What is cat-bot doing in tree?" "That's Ravage, and she's playing with Bumblebee" said Blackarachnia as her pinchers twitched. She knew that Optimus and the others didn't like Soundwave since he processor-washed them last Christmas, and all were irritated by his presence. "We're not playing. Ravage was using my CDs as frisbees, and she destroyed my collection, so I'm going to teach her a lesson" said Bumblebee as he continued to look for Ravage. Laserbeak poked his head beneath the branches, and saw Ravage scampering beneath the surface, before she approached Laserbeak and said "Goo?" "Ah-ha! Got ya!" said Bumblebee as he placed his servos around Ravage. "Whaa!" cried Ravage as Bumblebee held on to her. Berserk and Soundwave came rushing out, when he stopped in his tracks and shouted, "What is that fragger doing here?" "Well, for your information, flower, I happen to be the leader of the Decepticons," said Megatron as Soundwave looked at him and said "Not you, him!" as he pointed to the other Soundwave. "Looks like that we're going to have to start calling you Soundblaster again" said Berserk to her sparkmate. Soundwave groaned, then walked over to Optimus and Blackarachnia and asked "Query: How long are Decepticons staying at base?" "Until January" said Optimus as Soundwave facepalmed himself and said "Since these Decepticons are staying here, call me Soundblaster." "Dada" said Ravage as she wiggled out of Bumblebee's servos, and leapt over to her sire. She hugged his leg, as Laserbeak and Ratbat stared at the cat and said "Is he your sire? You look more like a symbiote than a sparkling." Ravage looked at the two symbiotes and said telepathically "He is my Sire. You look more like pets." "Pets?" thought Laserbeak and Ratbat angrily.
Soundblaster was listening in to the sparkling's conversation with the symbiotes when he said telepathically "Ravage, stop playing with those two. They're not good playmates. Why don't you play with Sari, Pulse, or Bulkhead?" "Okay, Sire" communicated Ravage as she crawled to Bulkhead's paint studio.
Berserk couldn't help but notice that Starscream and Megatron were staring at her. "Um, may I help you with something?" she asked. "Uh…so, how long have you been pregnant?" asked Starscream. "Hmm…well, I think about…I don't know when I got impregnated, but it is expected that I should give birth around February or March" said Berserk. Yep, she definitely is a fetching femme. Starscream was right on how he wanted her to be his berthwarmer. Once I defeat the Autobots, I'll think that I'll keep her as my berthwarmer after the war. She definitely is fertile; I can give her credit for that thought Megatron. Soundblaster was silently listening to Megatron's thoughts and saw some pretty graphic images of Megatron with his sparkmate. The thoughts made Soundblaster sick to the core, so he sent Megatron a message telepathically.
Megatron was interrupted by a loud message blasting in his processor, shaking the tyrant to his knees as he collapsed. "My liege, are you all right?" asked Shockwave as he tapped Megatron's shoulder. "I just found out the hard way that Soundblaster is a very powerful telepath" said Megatron as he placed a servo to his helm. Shockwave looked to Soundblaster, but with his mask on, his expression was impossible to read. I don't know which one that I like less: these fraggers staying here for a month, or that my daughter is marrying that fragger in six million years thought Soundblaster.
Pulse was pretty excited that her future sire would be staying at the base for the next month, and wagged her tail in excitement. The Decepticons couldn't help but stare at Pulse due to her unusual frame-type, but some of them couldn't help but think of some erotic thoughts about Pulse. Soundblaster wasn't too thrilled that they were thinking erotic thoughts of his granddaughter, so he sent a loud telepathic message to them. Soundwave frequently tried to hack into Soundblaster, but the satellite proved to be too strong for the scion, so the mech often walked with his tail between his legs after being outsmarted by Soundblaster. He would often retreat to the basement that the Autobots lent the Decepticons and sit down there for hours, playing Laserbeak or Ratbat.
Megatron was relaxing in stasis mode with Slipstream when Ravage crawled in. She climbed up Megatron's berth, and sat on his cockpit. She listened to his strong spark beneath his tough armor and thought Mech's spark strong. Mech's spark beating in rhythm with femme's spark. Mech like femme. She tapped on his cockpit, and it opened up. She crawled inside and uplinked some of her cables to Megatron's hard drive and fell into stasis as she entered Megatron's memories…
Ravage was in a fog of some sort as she (swam?) drifted deeper and deeper into Megatron's memories. She saw Megatron watch his parents scream at him as he trembled at their hatred. The next memory had Megatron being picked on by Autobots during his junior years, and saw Megatron continued on being picked on in later years. Ravage saw Megatron not being excepted into Prime Academy due to his low grades and a few other things that made Megatron unable to enroll. Mostly, the conversation involved words that Ravage didn't know, and saw Megatron getting a job mining the caverns of Cybertron for metals, gems, energon crystals, and other things. She even saw Megatron starting a rebellion and forming the Decepticons when he became an adult. She passed more memories and saw one that Megatron prized. It was the first time that he met Slipstream, and he secretly loved her. The memory then jumped to that night on the Nemesis when they admitted their secret love for each other. Slowly, the memory became a dream, with Megatron dancing with Slipstream slowly in a pinkish nebula, with stars glowing and forming around them.
It was then that Megatron realized that he wasn't alone with Slipstream, and noticed Ravage floating in the nebulae clouds. He stopped dancing, and floated to the robotic kitten. "What are you doing in my dream?" asked Megatron. "Me curious. Me wanted to see why you so cranky" said Ravage. Megatron was silent for a moment, then opened his mouth before he closed it. "Me see what you had growing up. Me see lots of problems in past" said Ravage. "So, you saw my past" said Megatron as the kitten bobbed her head. Slipstream floated over, then looked at Megatron and asked "How come you never tell me about your past?" He looked at her, then said "It's painful, and I don't want to talk about it" as he turned his head away from her. He was silent for another moment when Ravage said, "Me see you meet femme. You love her?" His fans whirred, then said "Yes, I…I do love her. I was alone for a long time before I met her. I want to make her my queen after I rule the Autobots. I want her to produce my sparklings, and form a family with me. I never had these feelings with anybody else before me." Slipstream placed a servo on his shoulder, rubbed it then said "I consider that very sweet of you, Megatron. But, I'm not ready to have sparklings yet. I don't think that I'm ready to be a creator as of yet." Ravage floated over to Megatron and nuzzled her helm against his chassis. Chuckling, he scratched Ravage behind her ear as she purred. "I hope that I have sparklings like you someday, Ravage" said Megatron.
Hours later, Megatron woke up from stasis slowly. He yawned, and saw that his cockpit was open, with Ravage sleeping in it, still attached to him. He gently stroked Ravage awake, and she perked up her head at Megatron's digit. "Goo?" she said as she withdrew her cables from Megatron. He picked her up and closed his cockpit as he held Ravage within his servo. It was amazing that such a tiny sparkling was unafraid of Megatron. Slipstream was still sleeping peacefully while nuzzling Megatron unconsciously. Both of them were startled (and Slipstream woke up startled) when they heard Soundblaster's booming voice of "WHERE IS RAVAGE? WHO TOOK RAVAGE? WHERE'S MY DAUGHTER?" "Well, it looks like as if Soundblaster is living up to his name," said Megatron.
After giving Ravage back to Soundblaster, Megatron was watching TV with Pulse. She was watching the Science Channel when Bumblebee switched it to Z100's 'Jingleball 2159.' "Hey, I was watching that," said Pulse. "But I want to watch Jingleball" said Bumblebee. Next thing that he knew, Megatron was watching Pulse and Bumblebee wrestle with the remote. Pulse was choking Bumblebee as Megatron switched the channel to a scene with four cartoon men having a pillow fight transitioning into a fistfight, with one of them punching the wife. "Peter, what is Stewie doing on the roof?" "Mommy!" called out a little British boy off screen. "What is this?" said Megatron in a perplexed tone. "That's 'Family Guy,' some cartoon from early 2000 that lasted for the next…well, I don't know how long it lasted, but it lasted for quite a while" said Pulse. "Are these humans for real?" asked Megatron. "No, and I don't see on how such idiots can even exist," said Pulse.
"Hey, who wants to go sledding with us?" asked Sari before she stopped in her tracks when she saw Megatron. "What is he doing here?" exclaimed Sari. "He's just visiting for the holidays, and he'll be gone next month" said Pulse. "He won't be gone soon enough" said Bumblebee. "Watch it, bug" said Megatron.
Later that day, Sari, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, the Jet twins, Ravage, Soundblaster, Optimus, Sentinel, Jazz, Pulse, Megatron, and Starscream were at the skiing section of the Rocky Mountains. "Glad that you could teleport us here, Pulse," said Sari. "No problem. I happen to love skiing" said Pulse. "Um, so what's skiing?" asked Optimus. "Skiing is when you put these two flat sticks on your feet" said Sari as she pointed to some skis "and you slide down the mountain. Most of you will start off with sledding because skiing is a bit dangerous." "Oh come on! I am not a beginner! I could do skiing," said Sentinel. "I don't know about the majority of you, but I will start off with sledding" said Soundblaster as his wings twitched in fright. "How come?" asked Jetfire. "You see, unlike most seekers, I happen to have glass panels on my wings. I absorb sunlight through them, and they're a special kind of glass. If my armor gets dented, Ratchet will fix it, but if my glass panels break, then I will have to find new ones" said Soundblaster. "That doesn't sound too hard" said Sentinel. "Actually, it's said easier than it can be accomplished. I happen to have a special type of satellite glass on my wings, so I will have to go to NASA to get new ones, and even then, they may be reluctant to relinquish satellite glass for a space alien robot that's not exactly friendly" said Soundblaster.
"Well, I'm still skiing," said Sentinel as Megatron and Starscream agreed with him. "Suit yourself" said Soundblaster as he picked out a sheet of metal that would serve as his sled. Ravage hopped on with her sire as the two sled down the mountain. Pulse got on two large metal skis as she skied down the mountain, followed by Sari on her own skis. Optimus was a little nervous about skiing or sledding, so he hopped on an extra-large one with Bumblebee and Bulkhead. Jazz, Jetfire, and Jetstorm had their own extra-large sled, and the two teams raced each other down the mountain. "Humph. Look at them, sledding down the mountain in their own sleds, saying 'Oh! I'm too afraid for skis.' Well, I'll show them what a real mech can do!" said Sentinel as he picked out two skis and skied down the mountain. Megatron shook his head as he picked out his own skis and followed Sentinel, using his two swords to steer his skis. "Glitch-heads" said Starscream as he picked out another set of skis and followed Megatron, but at a distance, and skied slowly.
"Yaaaaahhhhh!" screamed Sentinel as he kept on crashing into trees and lost balance as he began rolling down the mountain. Megatron was having some better luck, but he slid on a rather icy spot and began spinning around before he too began rolling down the mountain. Starscream slowed his speed until he came to a stop, and walked in his skis around the frozen pond before he began skiing again. He couldn't help but laugh at Megatron roll down the mountain before crashing into Sentinel, forming a gigantic snowball and rolling down the mountain together. The gigantic snowball rolled over trees, animals, people, houses, and other things before coming into the ski jump. Everyone in the snowball rolled down it before jumping hundreds of feet into the air. Sentinel poked his head out of the snowball, and seeing that he was airborne, screamed and panicked. He flailed his arms and legs around, freeing everybody from the snowball, before gripping onto Megatron. "Megatron, transform!" exclaimed Sentinel. "I can't fly without my swords!" shouted Megatron. "Why?" asked Sentinel. "They form my propellers!" shouted Megatron. "We're doomed" said Sentinel as the two freefalled into a frozen lake. Unfortunately for them, the lake was shallow, so a loud metallic CLANG was heard for miles.
Optimus and the other Autobots heard the CLANG when they heard a loud rumble like thunder. Pulse slowed and turned her head to see a mountain of snow tumbling towards them. "Avalanche!" she shouted as she popped out her laser cannon and fired at full power. The Jet twins panicked, and transformed into SafeGuard, who picked up Jazz and sped away. Soundblaster panicked as well, so he transformed into his Nighthawk mode and flew away with Ravage in his cockpit. "Hey, what about us?" hollered Bumblebee. Pulse zipped back, and fired her laser cannon to full power as she sped faster than the avalanche coming down on them. "Sari" exclaimed Bumblebee as he reached out with his servo and gripped the little human. She clung on to her friend as Pulse's laser cannon expelled more energy so the group could go faster. Despite the speed that she was putting out, Pulse couldn't out race the avalanche. "Pulse, why don't you teleport us out of here?" shouted Bumblebee. "I can't teleport the whole group of you while going at this speed!" shouted Pulse. "Well, I could always help you, in exchange for something" said Starscream as he flew by the group. "Deal!" said Pulse as the seeker transformed from his jet mode into robot mode as he fired his thrusters at maximum as he grabbed onto Pulse's neck. Pulse noticed the ski jump, and shouted "Starscream! Help me get to the ski jump! I have an idea!"
Seconds later, the group was on top of the ski jump with the avalanche tumbling behind them before they all slid down the slope. When getting to the end, they all started flying into the air as Pulse began to cackle with electricity before teleporting all of them to the ski lodge. They saw the avalanche crash in the distance, as Pulse panted as she collapsed down on her servos. Optimus was pretty nervous as well, when he noticed that Sentinel was missing. "Where's Sentinel?" he asked. They heard some jets roaring above him, with Megatron and Sentinel hanging from Soundblaster's tentacles. He dropped them down to the ground before transforming wit Ravage in his arms. "I found them in the lake. I don't know why they decided to go for a swim," said Soundblaster.
Hours later inside the lodge, all of the robots were around the fire, with Megatron and Sentinel shivering, sneezing, and their dentals chattering. "So, what about my reward?" said Starscream. "Right, I forgot," said Pulse. Starscream offlined his optics and puckered up his lips, but he heard a lot of clicking sounds. He onlined one optic, and found Pulse knitting. He frowned, then said, "This wasn't what I had in mind." Sari snickered as Bumblebee gave a chuckle as he held the human close to his chassis. The Jet Twins were huddled together, looking out the window as they saw the snow fall outside the lodge. "Isn't it beautiful, brother?" asked Jetfire. "Yes, I think that it be very beautiful" said Jetstorm. Soundblaster shuddered as he saw the snow fall. "I don't like what the humans call snow. It's murder on the wings" he said as he held Ravage closer to his body. "The feelings mutual" said Starscream "I don't like it when the winter wind blows on my wings. It freezes my wings."
Half an hour later, Pulse finished what she was knitting. "Done" said Pulse as she held up what she made for Starscream. "Um…what are they?" he asked. "They're wing-warmers. I made this set just for you. Try them on," said Pulse. "I think that they look stupid" said Starscream. "Oh, come on. At least try them on once" she said. Starscream rolled his optics, then said, "Oh, all right" as Pulse put on the wing-warmers. "You know that…oh, they are warm…I happen to…what material did you make them out of?" asked Starscream as he felt the wing-warmers on his wings. "I used cotton-yarn, fabrics, and a variety of other soft materials to insulate your wings from the wind and snow" said Pulse "You can see how warm they are outside." "Are they really wind-proof?" asked Starscream as he followed Pulse outside the lodge. "Well, only one way to find out" said Pulse as she led Starscream farther and farther from the lodge.
Once they were far enough, Pulse grabbed Starscream and pinned him to the ground. "What?" said Starscream before an antler was shoved in his mouth. Pulse's servos were feeling around Starscream's body as he began feeling her body. His lips began moving gently on Pulse's antler as she let off a low sigh. He offlined his optics. He liked where this was going…
Twenty minutes later, they began heading back to the lodge. "I really liked the second part of my reward for helping you…rescue the Autobots" said Starscream. "No problem. It looked as if you really needed some time with a femme" said Pulse as they walked together. "So…you've been with other mechs before?" he asked. "Only Optimus, and that was in the future. We spent many stellar-cycles together, and…well, you could say that I learned how to pleasure a mech from him" said Pulse. "Hmm…so, you learned your 'experiences' from him? How good was he?" asked Starscream. "Very good, I may add. He even taught me how to fight," said Pulse as she nuzzled her helm against Starscream's wings. "He must have been a great warrior," said Starscream "I happen to like these wing-warmers that you made for me. How did you learn to knit?" "I read a number of books that Optimus kept on his planet. He was surprisingly intelligent, and he was surprisingly gentle. He had quite a few upgrades modified to his body, most obviously wings. I knit my first wing-warmers for him. His way of thanking me that night…well, I could tell you that he was very happy" said Pulse as she blushed a bit. "When did you bond, by any chance?" asked Starscream. "Oh, no. We never bonded. Despite how much he loved me, he loved his deceased sparkmate Blackarachnia even more. He was really sad when she died, but he loved her with his entire spark. There was a lot of his relationship with her that I don't know about, but I know that I could never love him the way he loved Blackarachnia. We were close, but not close enough to bond. I do wish that I did bond with him, though" said Pulse as her antlers dropped in sadness. Starscream placed a servo on her back as he rubbed it a bit on her neck. She seems like the perfect sparkmate. Once I defeat Megatron and control the Decepticons, I'll think that I'll make her my sparkmate instead of Berserk. She's quite the warrior, and is surprisingly intelligent, I can give her that much thought Starscream.
When at the lodge, Pulse and Starscream sat down nearby the fire, as Pulse stroked Starscream through his wing-warmers. He let off a low growl as he offlined his optics. Farther from the fire, Soundblaster was relaxing as he petted Ravage as he watched the snow fall outside the lodge. He could see two teams of humans start a snowball fight, with snowballs flying in every direction. He could see Sari, Bumblebee, Jetfire, Jetstorm, Bulkhead, and Jazz having their own snowball fight farther up the hill. Optimus was sitting next to Sentinel and talking to the sneezing Magnus as Megatron seemed lost in thought.
Megatron was thinking of Ravage when she entered his thoughts earlier that day when he was in that dancing dream with Slipstream. She was a small sparkling, but she had quite a hacking talent. She seemed to be even a better hacker than Shockwave; he didn't even realize that she was there until he was dancing with Slipstream in his dream. Shockwave proved to be brutal with his hacking skills, but Ravage was gentle. Maybe when she's fully grown, I can get her to be in my Decepticon forces as my spy to retrieve important files and data thought Megatron.
Later that night, Pulse teleported everybody back to the Autobot base. Ravage was sleeping in Soundblaster's arms as he carried her back to his room. Megatron and Starscream retreated to the basement, and Sentinel went back home. It was snowing outside in Detroit, and Bumblebee looked at the snowfall, then looked down at Sari and said "Well, you could stay the night here" before they heard a crash, and saw Sentinel limp back in. "Fragging ice" he said as he collapsed on the couch. Jazz, Jetfire, and Jetstorm came in soon after Sentinel, with Jazz saying "Looks like we have to be spending the night here, Bee. That snow is too dangerous." "We can't be seeing where we're going" said the Jet twins in union. "Looks like you guys will have to spend the night in your old room" said Bee as he let the three to their old rooms.
In Bumblebee's room, Sari was resting on Bumblebee's chassis as he had two thermal blankets (one on him, and a second one for Sari.) Sari was awake, and so was Bumblebee. "Sari?" he asked. "Hmm?" she said as she looked directly into his optics. "Well, we known each other for a long time, haven't we?" "Yes" she said. "Well, want to take it up a notch?" he asked. "Bumblebee, what do you mean?" asked Sari. "I mean, well, we could maybe date?" said Bumblebee. Sari was silent for a long time, when Bumblebee said, "I'm sorry for what I said." "Well, to be perfectly honest, I think that we could try that. I'm just afraid of what will happen if it doesn't work out" said Sari. "Well, what about the time that we kissed?" asked Bumblebee. Sari was silent for a moment, before she said, "Well, I did feel something." "Maybe we could start dating and see what goes from there" said Bumblebee. She was silent, but placed a hand on a digit of his and smiled. Bumblebee certainly had an idea there.
Deep within the basement, Megatron was looking up at the ceiling with Slipstream caressing his chassis. He was thinking of having sparklings with her, of making her his queen, and of her being the alpha femme of his harem. He was thinking of adding Pulse, Berserk, and Blackarachnia to be part of his harem, but of course Slipstream would be able to punish them if they stepped out of line. He looked at Slipstream and stared at those wings so gracefully attached to her body, those sharp servos that he liked, those beautiful optics of hers, her beautiful armor coloring, those legs of hers, and her pedes. He couldn't imagine a lifetime without her, and decided that he was going to court her after Christmas so Slipstream could be his sparkmate.
Later than night, while Megatron was dreaming of bonding with Slipstream, (and Slipstream dreaming of bonding with Megatron) Starscream snuck into Megatron's recharging chambers with a large barrel of warm water. He placed the warm water on the floor, and placed one of Megatron's servos in it, followed with one of Slipstream's servos. He then quickly tiptoed out of Megatron's recharging chambers, and was halfway to his own, when he heard Slipstream scream "MEGATRON? WHAT THE FRAG?" and Megatron scream "WHO DID THIS?" Starscream had to hold in his laughter as he ran the rest of the way to his room and bolted the door before he began laughing hysterically. Blitzwing was right about that old Earth prank of placing somebody's servo into a barrel of warm water, causing the bot to wet his berth.
The next morning, Jazz and the Jet twins were up, listening to Pulse as she told them some of the battles that she had in the future while she was making more hot cocoa oil. "So there I was, surrounded by seekers on all sides. I had to use a mix of warping and jumping to avoid getting hit while I attacked the seekers. Two of them went down right away while the third launched his Null Ray at me. I was paralyzed for a moment, but it was long enough for the seeker to blast me again with his Null Rays. I had to play opossum as he approached, and it wasn't until he had his pede on my neck when I struck! I stabbed my tail through his chassis, piercing his spark as he had a seizure and died on the spot! That seeker never knew what he was in for" said Pulse. "Telling of your battle stories again, Pulse?" yawned Soundblaster as he stretched his arms. "Morning, Grandpa" said Pulse "Did you sleep well?" "For the most part, I did, except when Sentinel snored and when both Slipstream and Megatron screamed" said Soundblaster. "I do not snore!" shouted Sentinel.
Megatron, on the other hand, was massaging his helm. He didn't get much sleep, and had a feeling that Starscream might prank him again. Slipstream was sitting next to him, twitching her wings in irritation. Ravage crawled up to Megatron and sat at his pede. "Meow?" she said as she looked at the warlord. Megatron smirked, then picked up the little sparkling and tickled her. She giggled as Megatron held her close to his chassis. Slipstream couldn't help but smirk on how Megatron was so gentle around Decepticon sparklings; the feeling just warmed her spark. Just then, the lights went out on the Christmas tree. Megatron just stared at the tree for a moment when Bumblebee walked by. He shrugged, then looked at the plugs for the tree. All of them were unplugged, so he began plugging them all in. He managed to plug in the last one when the tree began to receive an overload, and all the lights of the base began blinking on and off when he heard a pair of screams coming from the tree. The tree began to smoke before it was engulfed in a huge fireball, charring Bumblebee and the area around it.
Optimus walked in and shouted "Bumblebee, what did you do to the tree?" A small amount of smoke came out of Bumblebee's nostrils before he said "All I did was plug in the lights" before he passed out. Optimus shook his head, and noticed that there was something in the charred remains of the tree. Ratbat and Laserbeak were both burnt, when the condor looked to his sibling and said "That's the last time that I go hunting for bugs in a tree with you, Ratbat." Ratbat looked at his condor sibling and said, "Well, you're the one who wanted to chew on the worms found in the tree in the first place." Soundwave walked in and looked from the tree, to Optimus, then back to the tree again. "Query: What the frag happened?" said Soundwave. "Your two symbiotes were chewing on the Christmas lighting wires, and Bumblebee forgot to water the tree" said Optimus. "Well, looks like that you have to get a new tree, Optimus," said Sentinel as he had a smug look on his faceplates.
Later that day, Optimus went out with Pulse in search of a new tree. None of the trees seemed right, so the pair wandered deeper and deeper into the forest. They searched for a couple of hours, until Pulse found a Balsam tree. "How about this one?" she asked. Optimus looked at it and said "Well, it's not as pretty as the tree that we had at base before Bumblebee burned it down, but it'll do." Pulse got on all six, then began sawing the tree with her tail. Optimus took a look around, and saw a vast forest of pines further up the hill. He saw Sludge poke his neck up from the treetops before lowering it into the forest again. Soon, Pulse was finished cutting down the tree, and the two were bringing it back to base. Little did they know that there was a surprise for them hiding in the tree.
Later, when Pulse and Optimus were putting up the tree on the stand, Bulkhead stopped painting and paused. He then said "Did you guys hear something?" "Hear what?" said Starscream. "I don't know, it sounded like some sort of…I think the term is barking or grunting" said Bulkhead. Optimus looked at Bulkhead, before he heard something too. He pushed aside a few branches, then said, "I thought that I heard something too, but I guess that it was my imagination" before he saw something shining in the branches. He squinted then said "What?" before he saw something jump out. "Deer!" he screeched as all the robots began panicking and ran out of the room. They all peeked into the living room from the hallway before Optimus said "We have to get it out of here" he said before Shockwave walked into the living room and noticed the Autobots and Decepticons hiding in the opposite hallway. "What are you doing in ther-GAH!" he screeched as the deer headbutted him. Shockwave ran and hid with the other robots as he panted "What…was…that…thing?" "That was a deer. It was hiding in the tree that Optimus and Pulse brought home," said Megatron.
Just then, Berserk walked in with Soundblaster and sat on the couch, with Soundblaster's tentacles massaging Berserk's pregnant lump. She moaned as the twins inside her kicked at her uterine lining. "Grandma! Grandpa! Don't move!" said Pulse in a quiet, but direct, tone. "Why?" asked Soundblaster before he saw the deer walk out from behind the couch and look at him directly in the faceplates. He read that deer were supposed to be gentle creatures, but this one looked aggressive and was a buck on top of it. "Ravage!" he screamed before the sparkling ran out from the hallway and began chasing the deer. Ravage chased the deer around the room, knocking over everything before she chased the deer out of the base and downtown. Soundblaster watched everything before he looked at the other robots and said "Gone."
It was over an hour later that they saw Ravage and the deer on the news. Optimus and Megatron were both decorating the tree and Pulse was making more hot cocoa oil. Berserk just shook her head as she saw Ravage destroy half of a mall with the deer destroying the other half of the mall. Slipstream was sitting next to Berserk, being silent for a while before she asked the femme "So…how long until the sparkling comes?" "Well, I'm actually pregnant with twins…and I recently got a medical scan from Ratchet, so we should expect them around March" said Berserk. Slipstream was silent for a while longer before she asked "So, how many sparklings are you and Soundblaster are planning to have?" "It varies on who you ask. I want eight, but Soundblaster wants ten. I told him that I would give him a more accurate answer after I give birth to our eighth sparkling" said Berserk. "Does giving birth hurt?" asked Slipstream. Berserk looked directly at Slipstream for a moment then asked, "You're not pregnant, are you?" "No, no. I'm just curious because Megatron wants to have sparklings one day, and I don't know if I would be a good creator," said Slipstream "I mean, I don't want any unplanned pregnancies." Berserk looked sad for a moment, before Slipstream gasped then said "You mean, your twins weren't planned?" "Well, I'm not sure if I could lie to you, but Ravage wasn't a planned sparkling either. Ravage's pregnancy wasn't exactly a good one, but I don't regret giving birth to her. Soundblaster stayed with me for the last two months of the pregnancy, and he decided to never leave me again" said Berserk. "Wait! He left you?" said a surprised Slipstream. "Well…" said Berserk as she began telling Slipstream the whole story of when she met Soundblaster, to when they found out that they were pregnant with the twins.
"…and that's why I won't leave him, nor he will ever leave me. We're definitely bondmates, and we don't have to worry about either of us leaving each other" finished Berserk. Slipstream's processor was swimming with confusion about everything before she asked, "How is it that Soundblaster managed to defeat Unicron, but he's having difficulty fighting us?" "To be honest, but I don't know. I think that he's afraid of using his new powers, but for an honest answer, you're going to have to ask him. For as when he's willing to use his new powers…only he knows the answer to that question" said Berserk. Slipstream was silent again, before she asked "For when I do give birth to my first sparkling…I'm nervous if Megatron is willing to be a good sire. Of course, I love him and all, but I'm not sure if he would be good at raising sparklings." "I know that it's hard to visualize Megatron as a caring sire, but I have seen him with Ravage, and he does seem to be a good sire. The real test is when the sparkling is crying, sick, or just raising it in general. Looks can be deceiving; I've seen Soundblaster as an excellent sire, and he was quite a Decepticon warrior when I met him. Who knows, maybe Megatron could be just a good a sire as Soundblaster" said Berserk.
"Uh, a little help here?" said Optimus as the garland was entwined around himself, Megatron, and the Christmas tree. Berserk and Slipstream took one good look at them before both of them began laughing. Shockwave walked in, looked at the two transformers tied up, then he asked "My liege, what are you doing?" "Oh, I decided to become really involved in the Christmas tradition and get into the holiday spirit by dressing myself up as a Christmas tree" said Megatron. "Ok" said Shockwave before Megatron shouted at him "Of course the bumbling Autobot here accidentally tied us up to the tree, and we really need someone to get us out of here! It's all his fault that we're tied up to the tree in the first place!" "My fault? You were the one who wanted to put up the lights while I was putting up the garland!" shouted back Optimus. "And how is that my fault?" snarled Megatron. "You were the one who tripped over the lights and was having a death grip on the tree when you lost your balance, and tried spinning to regain stability on your two pedes. The next thing that we both knew, both the lights and garland was tied around the both of us," said Optimus in a harsh tone.
Shockwave just stared at the two before Starscream came in with Soundwave (both of them insulting each other) when they noticed Megatron and Optimus tied up to the tree. Starscream just took one look and couldn't stop laughing, and Soundwave just covered his optics with a servo, unable to say anything. "Don't just stand there! Do something!" shouted Megatron. Soundwave backed away from Starscream as the second-in-command lost his balance and began rolling on the floor in laughter. Soundwave placed a servo against the wall as he tried to think of something, but he accidentally hit the "ON" switch for the tree, turning on the lights. Megatron and Optimus screamed in pain as the lights flashed on and off as electricity fried their circuits before the whole base blacked out. "Looks like that we blew a fuse" said Shockwave.
Ravage came home a few hours later, and noticed that the whole base was dark. The little sparkling cocked her head before she climbed to the top of the base and looked down through the sky windows. It was too dark for her to see, so she sat on the top as she gazed at the stars. It was a clear night, but cold, as Ravage shivered as frosted breath came out of her nostrils. Santa up there? Where Santa? Thought Ravage as she continued staring up at the stars. She heard some screaming coming from behind her as Soundwave was thrown up on the rooftop of the building. He grumbled something before he heard Megatron shout "YOU'RE STAYING UP THERE UNTIL I DECIDE WHEN YOU COME DOWN!" Soundwave sighed, then sat cross-legged on the roof. It took him a minute until he noticed that Ravage was on the roof with him. "Query: What are you doing up here?" he asked. "Meow" she said as she walked over to the Decepticon and snuggled against his leg. He reached out with a servo, and began stroking the cat-bot. She purred, before she leapt upon his lap and snuggled against him. He picked her up and held her against his chassis as he gently stroked her. He began thinking back when he had Ratbat and Laserbeak…
Soundwave was in labor for several hours before he gave birth to Laserbeak and Ratbat. He passed out from the pain as he heard some squawking and screeching coming from the two symbiotes. He found himself awake a few hours later and found the two sleeping against his legs. He picked up the two and carried them over to the washracks as he cleaned the two symbiotes and himself in the warm, soapy water. He was still weak from giving birth, but he managed to make it back to his berth and relax as he placed Ratbat and Laserbeak on either sided of him. He drew up the covers over himself and his two symbiotes, placed an arm around the both of them, and fell into stasis.
He looked down to the sleeping form of Ravage as he was thinking his thoughts. She's so young, but has a lot of talent for a sparkling. Ideologically, scanning her for next symbiote is most acceptable. Next symbiote is based on sparkling known as Ravage. He began scanning Ravage's form, and stored her data in his memory banks. He was going to use her data to create his own symbiote, but not right now. He needed some alone time to create a symbiote spark, which took up a lot of energy and made him vulnerable to an attack. He needed to consume a good amount of energon before he could process a Ravage clone, which he currently didn't possess at the moment. He continued to stroke Ravage as he felt the temperature drop. He felt Ravage shiver more, so he held the sparkling closer to his chassis.
Soundwave heard the rooftop flap open, and he turned around and found Berserk looking at him. "Oh, hello Soundwave. I'm just looking for Ravage. I have been unable to find her, and I'm searching for her" she said. "Answer: Ravage is right here. I found her on the roof" said Soundwave as he held a sleeping Ravage.
While Soundwave and Berserk were on the roof, Optimus was showing Sentinel the Christmas tree. "As you see, Sentinel, both Megatron and I managed to decorate the tree without burning down the base" said Optimus. "Well, the only reason that my tree was burned up was that Jetfire and Jetstorm forgot to water it!" shouted Sentinel Magnus. "Right, and you putting road flares on the branches had nothing to do with it" said Optimus. As the two argued on whom was responsible for burning down Sentinel's tree, Sari walked in the room with a few presents. She placed a few under the tree, and noticed that one ornament was on the floor. She shrugged, then put it up on the tree. The tree then lost balance and fell on Optimus, pinning him down to the floor. Pulse then walked in, and noticed the Prime on the floor, then asked, "Was Optimus putting up the lights again? Because he never was able to get things coordinated with a Christmas tree." "No, it's just that I put up one ornament, and it fell on Optimus" said Sari. Pulse shook her helm, then put up the tree again. She noticed the ornament that Sari put up then looked down at Sari and said, "Did that one fall of the tree?" "I found it on the floor, so I put it up" said Sari. Pulse shook her helm again then said, "It's in the wrong place" as she placed it on the branch adjacent to the place where Sari put it up in the first place. The tree then fell on Sentinel who screamed "Gah!" "That's where you put the ornament up when you want the tree to fall on Sentinel" said Pulse as the two females laughed.
A few hours later, Soundblaster found Berserk with Soundwave up on the roof. "What are you doing up here with him?" he shouted as he pointed a digit at Soundwave. "Oh, Soundblaster! I was just talking with Soundwave up here. Did you know that he found Ravage up on the roof alone when he got kicked up here by Megatron? He practically saved her life from hypothermia," said Berserk. "He did?" said Soundblaster in a questionable voice "You're not leaving me for him, are you?" "Pit no. In addition to not possessing what makes you Soundblaster, he was sparked with only a valve. How is he supposed to satisfy me?" said Berserk as Soundwave placed his helm in his servos. He felt a tentacle on his back, and looked to find that it was Soundblaster's tentacle. Soundblaster gave Soundwave a smile and said "I won't laugh. Back in our dimension, my creators tried to have a valve installed in me." "Wait, what?" said Berserk as Soundblaster's fans whirred, before he explained his childhood to Berserk and Soundwave. Berserk was silent the whole time, before she said after a very long moment of silence "That had to be about the darkest thing that I've ever heard." Just then, the robots heard a loud "Hey! There's nothing in here!" as the four of them looked at the roof latch, then each other, then rushed down to the living room.
Berserk, Soundblaster, Soundwave, and Ravage saw Bumblebee with an empty present as Sari shook her finger and said "With last Christmas' experience, I put out several decoys this year because I knew that you would peek. This is what you get for peeking." "Well, thanks for nothing!" exclaimed Bumblebee as the whole base laughed.
The next morning, Ratchet woke up to find Starscream watching the Christmas special of "How the Grinch stole Christmas" with about fifty snowmen packed around the living room. "Starscream! What are these snowmen doing here?" shouted Ratchet as he pointed to the snowmen. Starscream looked around before looking at Ratchet and said "They're having a melt convention. Apparently, the Autobot base was the only large enough place to hold the convention" as Ratchet facepalmed himself.
A few hours later (after everyone woke up and slipped on the snowmelt inside the base) Pulse was baking some Christmas energon cookies. As she placed the cookies on a rack to cool, she turned her back and heard two bots scream "Oooh! Ahhh! Hot! Ouch!" She turned around to find Bumblebee and Starscream juggling the hot cookies. "Ah-ha! So you're the two who've been eating the cookies! I thought that you two would at least have the patience to let them cool off first" said Pulse "So, what do you two have to say for yourselves?" "Oooh! Ow! It's hot!" said both Bumblebee and Starscream as they kept on juggling the hot cookies.
Five days have passed since the snowmen melt convention (and sixty of Pulse's batches of cookies being eaten by Starscream and Bumblebee) when Sentinel had to fix Optimus' Christmas lights again. He had no idea why the lights kept on going out, but he muttered "Stupid bet. Why do I have to fix Optimus' lights? Sure, I was the one who found the tree first, but no, his was the one that didn't burn down. Why does a Magnus like myself have to—AGGHHHAAA!" as his pede got caught on some wires and he slipped down the roof. He got all tangled up in the lights as he hang, swinging back and forth repeatedly until Starscream came walking out of the base. "What are you trying to do this time, Sentinel? Make yourself a bigger fool than before, or trying to make me laugh?" asked Starscream. Sentinel shot one look at Starscream before he shouted, "Don't just stand there! Do something!"
Twenty minutes later, a TV crew arrived outside the base with a huge crowd of people staring at Sentinel. Starscream had placed up huge flashing signs that said "First Alien Robot Christmas Decoration" and "Come see the Robot Lawn Ornament Decoration." "So, what type of statement are you making, Sentinel Prime sir?" said the TV bot. "It's Sentinel Magnus, and I hate Decepticons" shouted Sentinel. "Well, merry Christmas to you too, Autobot" said Starscream. Suddenly, there was a loud roar of laughter coming from inside the base as Sentinel said, "What was that?" "That? Oh, that's just the Autobots and Decepticons finding out that you're on TV worldwide" said Starscream as Sentinel screamed.
Megatron was laughing hysterically as he saw Sentinel the light decoration on TV with the rest of the Autobots and Decepticons. "I have to admit, this is the one thing that Starscream is good for: making me laugh" laughed Megatron as he held his sides. Shockwave just shook his head as his antlers wiggled while leaving the room. Optimus managed to calm down then looked at Megatron and said "Shockwave doesn't laugh much, does he?" "Actually, that's how he laughs. Since he doesn't have normal faceplates like everybody else, he displays his feelings by how his antlers move. It took a while for M-er, my mom to get used to the bot that she married since he displayed his emotions via his antlers" said Pulse. Megatron just looked at Pulse and said "And just who were your creators?" She was silent for a moment before saying "Nobody that you know" before she left. "Weirdo" said Megatron as he cuddled up with Slipstream.
Later that night (after getting Sentinel down from the roof) Pulse was wrapping up presents for all the bots in the base. She had finally finished knitting the wing warmers for all the seekers, and was halfway through the present wrapping when Sentinel came in singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of Year!" in a loud voice as possible. Pulse twitched her antlers in as much irritation as possible as her optic glowed a bright purple before she grabbed some ribbon and wrapping paper and wrapped up Sentinel's mouth.
Steaming in rage, Sentinel stomped off before running into Megatron. "Looks like that Santa Claus came early this year. I finally got my Christmas wish. Now, if only Starscream could have his mouth gagged," said Megatron as Sentinel tried to shout something, but to no avail.
Optimus chuckled to himself as he saw Sentinel waving his arms around in front of Megatron with a wrapping paper gag on before he walked down the hall. He noticed a plate full of Pulse's energon cookies as he said to himself "Hey, cookies!" He managed to pick up one before he heard a ding, and next thing that he knew, he was caught in a net. Ravage came running out from behind a wall and stopped in front of Optimus. "Ravage, did you do this?" he asked. "Optimus, you Santa?" asked Ravage.
It was Christmas Eve, and Bumblebee and Ravage were searching throughout the base, looking for Christmas presents. They managed to turn the entire base inside out, but they haven't managed to find so much as a tag, let alone a present. Ratchet was irritated because it looked as if a tornado hit the medical bay. Prowl was angry because his tree got reduced to splinters due to Ravage and Bumblebee searching so much in his room. Everybody at the base was mad at Ravage and Bumblebee, except for Bulkhead. He found the damage to the base great artistic inspiration, so he painted many murals of the damage.
Pulse shook her helm as the two continued to search throughout the base for their Christmas presents before she teleported to the Sumdac Towers where she hid the presents in the basement. Sari was busy writing Christmas cards when Pulse teleported in. "Oh, hello Sari" said Pulse. "Hello Pulse" said Sari as she continued writing a card. "So, where's your father?" asked Pulse. "He's working on some invention for the town. It's supposed to be revealed tonight," said Sari.
Just then, they heard a tapping on the window, and both Sari and Pulse looked out the window to find Soundwave outside it. Sari froze when she saw the Decepticon, but Pulse walked over and opened the window, asking "Soundwave, what are you doing out there?" He climbed in, looked at Pulse, then said "Answer: I came over to use the human's technology." "No way! We're not letting you use my father's computers so you can brainwash us!" shouted Sari. "Illogical. Reason for use of human's technology: Personal use" said Soundwave. "I know that you're planning on using my father's computers to brainwash the Autobots like last time! I won't allow it," shouted back Sari. Soundwave shook his helm, before he said, "Use of human's technology is for private use." Pulse stared at him for a moment, before her tail clamped down on his arm and Soundwave looked at her before he felt something enter his systems. Before he could put up his defenses, Pulse withdrew her tail and stared at him wide-optic and stammered "You-you're p-pregnant!" "What!" shouted Sari. Soundwave was silent for a moment, before he opened up his chassis. Pulse peered at his spark, and saw a tiny sparkling spark nestled against his much larger one. "Reason for use of human's technology: To check if sparkling is healthy. Autobot's medical bay destroyed for illogical reason" said Soundwave. "Wait, why is the Autobot's medical bay destroyed?" asked Sari. Pulse looked down at her and said, "It's because I hid the presents here. Bumblebee and m-er, Ravage, think that the presents are at the base." "Oh, so that explains why I could hear the Autobots screaming from here" said Sari as she resumed writing her Christmas cards while Pulse and Soundwave went to one of Sumdac's labs to do a scan on him.
It was early Christmas morning, and both Bumblebee and Starscream were up early. They both snuck over to the Christmas tree and began shaking presents. "I hope that this one is mine," said Bumblebee when he heard it break. "I hope that it's Sentinel's," he said. Starscream broke another present, and he said, "I hope that one is Sentinel's too." A light turned on, and Bumblebee shouted, "It was his idea!" "Goo?" said Ravage. Bumblebee turned his head and saw Ravage with a flashlight. "Oh, it's you," said Bumblebee. "It was his idea?" said Starscream as he raised an optic ridge. Bumblebee looked nervous then said "It was just a joke." "Well, I'm not laughing," said Starscream. "I know that you were serious when you said that" said a mysterious voice. Starscream and Bumblebee looked at each other wide-optic, then hugged each other tightly as they trembled. The "flashlight" that Ravage had began moving as it picked her up and held her fifty feet in the air. Bumblebee and Starscream were staring up at the kitten when more lights began turning on as the spotlight shown down on them…
Megatron was sleeping with Slipstream on his chassis when they heard some glass-shattering screaming. He groaned, then placed a servo to his helm, mumbling "Is it an Earth tradition to scream like this every Christmas morning?" Slipstream twitched her wings, before sliding off Megatron and groaning.
At the same time, Blackarachnia was splattered against the ceiling and Optimus was splayed across the floor. The scream caused him to jump so high that (with Blackarachnia sleeping on top of him); he crushed his girlfriend across the ceiling before crashing down to the floor.
Across the base, other transformers had their own surprising wake-up call. Prowl crashed out of his tree, both Arcee and Ratchet almost had a spark-attack, and Bulkhead made a hole in the shape of his body in the ceiling. Shockwave had all his limbs stretch all across his room and twist at all angles. He looked like a really stretched-out slinky that punched himself with his own two clawed servos. Everybody ran upstairs to find Bumblebee hugging Starscream (who was hugging Bumblebee) as the two trembled at the lights. The lights turned off, then the voice said, "Well, my job is done" as the main lights turned on. Soundblaster was perched on top of the tree in his satellite mode staring down at the two robots before he looked at all the other transformers. "I had a suspicion that these two would try to open up the presents before everybody else, so I decided to do a night-watch" said Soundblaster.
A few hours later, Pulse walked in with Soundwave and Sari to the Autobot base and found everybody up. "So, I see that nobody opened up the presents" said Sari. "Actually, Starscream and Bumblebee tried to open up the presents before everybody else, but I stopped them" said Soundblaster "They broke two, but luckily, they were Sentinel's." "Somehow, I'm not surprised," said Pulse. "What is up with him?" asked Soundblaster as he pointed a tentacle to Soundwave. "He wants to tell everybody something" said Pulse. Everybody quieted down and stared at Soundwave. Soundwave looked down for a moment, then looked up and said, "I'm pregnant." "WHAT!" screamed Shockwave before he passed out. "It's not his, it's mine," said Soundwave. "How is that possible?" asked Optimus. "Answer: I'm a carrier-cassette type, so I can create my own sparklings by budding" said Soundwave. "I'm so glad that wasn't my body" muttered Megatron. The rest of the day passed in cheer, with everybody giving his or her congratulations to Soundwave. It was a wonderful day for both Autobot and Decepticon alike.