I have a bad feeling about this.

Horror movies aren't my type of film but I've seen enough to realize I've been sucked into one. Beyond that bathroom door lays the nightmare I had tried to avoid but would nonetheless have to face. Less than a few feet away is what I found to be the closest clone of Shuichi and yet far and away the most aggravating specimen of human nature. Millions of people would tell me wrong but the sexy mature being you got on stage is not what you got in private. It is the most immature, hyperactive terror my brother-in-law Tohma ever so briefly introduced to me and I would prefer to have kept it at that. It is none other than Ryuichi Sakuma.

A few quick strides gets me to the knob just in time to grab it and keep him from coming out.

"Yuki!" Shuichi stresses in a whisper, rushing over and trying to remove my hand but a hip check on my half keeps him at bay. "Yuki, what are you doing?"

"Hey Shuichi!" Ryuichi calls in that uber happy manner of his. "I think this door's stuck!"

It isn't possible to keep him in there forever. If Ryuichi is like Shuichi he'll remain determined to pry it open no matter how I stone myself from his attempts. Screw the need for a plan! It's time to fly completely by the seat of my pants. I follow Shuichi's lead and keep my voice down as I rather not share details of our debacle with his Lord. "I'm not going to ask what he is doing here. I'm not dim-witted."

The knob jingles and the door trembles in the frame. "Come on Super Kumagorou! Let's pull!" champions Ryuichi. Strength, don't give up on me yet. I plant my feet and brace for the vocalist and his idiotic stuffed bunny's violent attempt to ajar the door. It fails miserably with a crash. "Well you were no help!"

While Ryuichi is giving his bunny the third degree for his lack of grip (throw not being alive in there, Idiot), Shuichi tries to loosen my hold. "Yuki it isn't what it looks like! I swear nothing is going on with Sakuma and me. I know it looks bad with our fight, me running off, the motel room, me not really having my clothes on when you got here and the hiding him in the bathroom--"

I better end his run-on sentence before he permanently implants the shuddering idea of him and Ryuichi together in my mind. "I know you aren't screwing him, so don't backpedal."

He purses his lips but before I can question the look The Voice of the Bathroom says, "Shuichi, if you still aren't dressed you don't have to be embarrassed. I didn't see all that much."

"Just a second Sakuma!" Shuichi shouts with a broken voice before focusing back on me. He must still feel the need to explain because he resumes with, "Tatsuha said I couldn't stay at the temple; something about your dad not being thrilled with me being there, which is ridiculous. I mean, how long can your dad hold over my head the responsibility of breaking up your engagement to Ayaka?"

Pretty long, I think as the door shakes again.

Shuichi fills with more dread from my trapping of his hero, quickening his speech: "So Tatsuha brought me here and said he'd wait at home for you, but I got bored and didn't want to leave in case you showed up and calling Hiro to come all the way up here to bring me a change of clothes didn't make sense when Sakuma was planning to come up here for lunch anyway, so I called him and asked if he'd come up early, which bring us to now. You've gotta let him out Yuki!"

"Doesn't anyone want to see what I drew on the foggy mirror?" the voice interrupts before suddenly shouting, "Oh no! It's dripping!"

I'm going to continue to ignore him if I am going to have any hope of getting out of here. Shuichi better brace himself because the rare event of me holding the entire end of a conversation is about to occur. "Listen up and close your mouth because I'm going to only say this once. I didn't come all the way up here so I could spend yet another day in the same city as my father and my brother and, God forbid anyone else that knows me. I came here for you and only you. Right now, I don't even care about the fight about the car. For some insane reason I am compelled to have you home."

If it is at all possible for a person to illuminate like a light bulb then this was the moment because Shuichi was glowing by my last words and is getting that look like he's going to pounce on me in delight. "Aww... Yuki!"

But I use my free arm to keep him at a distance and his glow comes to a halt. "But," I continue with a much emphasis, "you have to be truly dense to not see that Tatsuha is manipulating you and the situation of ours to satisfy him and only him. He is using your silly need to prove something as a reward to get to that freak in the bathroom."

"Leak in the bathroom? Where?" Ryuichi asks curiously. I'd correct him if I cared. Seems he must be searching for the non-existent leak because he's not shaking the door knob anymore. At least I can relax my forearm.

"In short," I conclude, "I'm getting out of this city tonight and you can either come with me or you can stay and play out this tea party with the March Hare and the Mad Hatter."

"I know he is manipulating me, sort of" confesses Alice - I mean Shuichi.

"Sort of?" I repeat curious and perplexed. He doesn't seem to mind being taken advantage of? Seems so as he is standing there like I just pointed out he's a boy. He is dense!

"I'm not seeing any leaks in here," Ryuichi shouts, resuming his attempt to open the door. Which one should I find the Most Annoying?

Shuichi's going to give the title a shot. "When I woke up from my nap at Tatsuha's house, I caught him browsing my my little black book. When he got it out of my pants pocket I don't know. To keep him from calling Sakuma, I had no choice but to invite him to my lunch date. He said he was going to make it up to me by getting you to come up here after me. It's a little selfish, yes, but when you really think about it it's coming from a place of love. I mean, here you are."

That dribble about love is enough to think Shuichi got into a car accident on his excursion up here and suffered brain damage. However, I can see why he was compelled to bow to my brother's wishes. So it was him who orchestrated this little mess? Shuichi's just been trying to fix it. Still, it isn't going to play out well. "This idea of yours is going to end up a total disaster and I think you know that."

He looks wounded. "That's not true."

"Really?" I question. It's time to prove my point.

I let go of the knob and step aside. In a flash it swings open and out comes flying the pop idol, jumping on to Shuichi as he shouts, "FREEDOM!"

"Sakuma! You're heavy!" he complains, his knees having buckled under him.

"You're no Kumagorou yourself," he comments, rubbing his head. "Well, except for the color."

And here he is: dyed green hair, brown cotton cowboy shirt and jeans wearing spunky man Ryuichi Sakuma, currently pinning my boyfriend to the floor. I fold my arms and take a glance at the pink bunny sitting in the sink and the art created on the foggy mirror. I can only assume it's of a rabbit and two stick people with stars and heart all around them (if there is any meaning in that drawing, I really don't want to know).

Blue eyes gaze up at me. Now aware of my towering presence, he sheepishly glances back at the dripping picture. "Kept myself busy," he says with pride before bouncing up and assisting Shuichi off the floor. "Hey Shuichi, this isn't the crazy fan boy we were hiding from, is it?"

"No," I answer nonchalantly. If I was that door would have been knocked down the moment he started talking in his so-called hiding place. "I'm the crazy fan boy's brother."

"Sakuma, this is Yuki," Shuichi introduces. There's love in his voice as he says my name. I guess in a way I should be honored to be presented with such esteem to his God.

"Oh yeah!" he exclaims as he recalls who I was with a snap of his fingers. "Tohma's fan boy!"

"I am not Tohma's fan boy!" I spat. Shuichi consciously steps between us. Just the idea of him saying that could send me into orbit and for him to actually say it made me want to punch him in the face. Tohma was my sister's husband and my confidant - dare I say friend - but I am no one's fan boy!

The man is not at all aware that he just came close to his demise. "Maybe it's the other way around with Tohma... Anyway, it's great to officially hang with you from one Shuichi fan to the other! Do you like the clothes I brought him?"

"They're nice," I plainly state. It won't pay to be nasty to him when the clothes aren't bad. He's worn a heck of a lot worse.

"When I saw them I immediately thought these were perfect for Shuichi," he adds, grabbing a bemused Shuichi away from me so he can point out each item like on a diagram in a presentation. "See, the purple in the shirt says, 'Look at how it brings out my remarkable violet eyes.' And the headphones print says, 'Look I love music.' And the jeans say, 'Look...'" Then he pauses, staring off into space confounded in thought. He waits for a brief moment until he shrugs and says, "I'm not sure what they say. I like denim I guess."

I am fighting the urge to roll my eyes and walk out the door as he continues: "I got him a cap and sunglasses too. And I have a leather jacket to go over all this in case he goes out. They're in the closet."

I can't resist the urge to take a jab at him. "Does that say, 'Look I like dead cows?'"

One would think even Ryuichi Sakuma would pick up on my quip. Nope. He simply turns to Shuichi and questions, "Why would you like dead cows?"

He definitely deserves the Most Annoying crown.

Okay, it's time to put an end to this before either think too hard about the bovine that assisted in the making of said jacket. Outside it is getting very dark and I want to be on the road before I'm too exhausted to keep my vehicle straight on the road. I 'm moving toward the front door. There is only one exit out of here and I am damn sure going to be near it. "Sakuma, tell me, why were in you in the bathroom?"

Recalling the chain of events causes the vocalist to rub his forehead like he has a headache. I thought maybe using his brain might have caused an overload but it's clear that he's nursing a red mark. "I heard the knock at the door and when I went to answer it Shuichi body slammed me and my tossed me into the bathroom."

"I'm so sorry Sakuma!" Shuichi cries with shame.

"Apology accepted!" he says. "Actually it kinda reminded me of the days when K-san was my manager and not yours. He used to grab me like a hostage and toss me into places to hide; although, he never did it naked out of the shower. Well, unless you count that incident at the Los Angeles swimming pool and his swim trunks. Anyway he did it to hide me from overexcited fans so I understand from where you were coming."

"Point proven," I say to Shuichi, turning the handle and making my hasty exit into the night.

"Wait Yuki!" he cries, storming after me in confusion. "What did that prove?"

"Why are we leaving?" Ryuichi asks following in suit. "Oh no Mr. Yuki! You aren't mad at me for not bring you any presents are you?"

"Yuki!" Shuichi calls again as I make my way down the steps.

I don't stop or turn around. "You knew yourself my brother would go nuts if he saw Ryuichi so that's why you hid him in the bathroom. Now you want to make it an event? I am not, can not, and will not participate in this lunch. I don't even let my editor dictate who I spend time with and she has a hand in my paycheck so what makes you think I'm going to let you do it. I'm going home tonight with or without you."

Meanwhile a moping Ryuichi is grasping the railing in self-misery. "If I had known for sure Mr. Yuki was coming I would've brought him something too."

Shuichi practically falls down the steps rushing after me. "No you're misunderstanding! The setting has to be controlled. You're right that if he found Sakuma in a hotel room he'd be unmanageable, but if it's at a lunch it'll be different. It's only a few hours out of the day. Everyone will get what they want."

Leave it to Shuichi to make a lunch last a few hours. "And I get to what? Slit my wrists?"

I would have thought he pull what my brother did and do whatever's necessary to stop me, but oddly he wraps his arm around mine and drags me along down faster, putting more distance between us and the self-tormented older man. "Yuki let me explain. I'm doing this for us."

"Us?" I repeat. How preposterous!

"Listen," he begs. "I'm manipulating Tatsuha as much as he is me."

"How so?"

"We do the lunch; Tatsuha and Sakuma become friends; they stop calling; you'll have time to finish up your book and/or you and I have plenty of time - alone time - to do... things. I've got less than a month off of work. If Tatsuha can behave himself, and I am convinced he can, Sakuma and he surely hit it off and become friends, which Sakuma would love to have. T hey'll be busy hanging out with each other. That means absolutely no distractions for the two of us after tomorrow!"

We both intentionally come to a stop and I at least give him the benefit of mulling over his plan before out right dismissing it. Never would I have thought he would throw his hero to the lion, which is how I see it. He obviously sees it as some meet-and-greet exploit. However, he doesn't ever think about the whole picture. Whether Tatsuha and Ryuichi became soul mates after meeting each other or not won't matter because their antics may blow up so bad that my sister Mika and Tohma will start sticking their noses in it which will inevitably bring them to my doorstep or whatever bunker I have to lock myself in to keep my sanity.

He can tell I'm not going to agree to it. "I know on paper it sounds too simple, but I can make it happen. Please, don't make a decision tonight. Just think about it."

I suppose I can at least do that. It will give me plenty of time to convince him to rescind his offer to my brother and his God. "Fine."

"Oh Yuki thank you!"

"But I'm not staying here," I quickly add. "I'm going to find another place to stay."

"Mr. Yuki!" addresses Ryuichi, running down the steps like a kid at Christmas. I guess his pity party is over and he no longer planned to throw himself off the balcony. "I know how I can make it up to you!"

"You're leaving?" I mutter.

"Sakuma, Yuki isn't mad with you," Shuichi comforts. "He's going to go somewhere nicer for the night and I'm going to go with him."

"Oh even better!" he chimes. "I can drive you both and then help you get your car fixed in the morning!"

"Car fixed?" Shuichi repeats, turning to me. "What happened to your car?"

"Nothing," I state as confounded as he, but then a knot forms in my stomach. I suddenly remember Tatsuha's stern warning that he was going to keep me in Kyoto no matter what the cost.

"I remembered that Shuichi said you had a Mercedes and when I saw it from the balcony I instantly knew it had to be yours," Ryuichi says.

We hesitantly walk across the parking lot and see my car.

My Mercedes...

My black Mercedes...

My black Mercedes with four flat tires.

"Yuki..." Shuichi starts, putting some distance between us as he scrutinizes my face to see how I would react. "Who could have done this?"

I look over at him because I know that he knows the answer as much as I do. Sure, any ordinary vandal could have slashed my tires, but I would say that the air coming out of the letter T puncture marks stand for something.

"Shuichi," Ryuichi addresses in a firm voice, "go get our things and bring Kumagorou with you. I think he's had enough time-out time to think about what he's done. Come on! Chop chop!"

My partner hesitates to follow his Master's orders, still analyzing to see if I might kill him once we're alone just because he'll be the closest one to throttle. I motion with my head for him to go back to the room and he slowly but surely gets going.

"It's probably too late to take it to a garage," Ryuichi states, patting me on the shoulder, "but I'll drive us somewhere real nice and get it to a shop in the morning. I promise you this evening is going to be great!"

"Great," I mutter, as the car continues to sadly slope toward the asphalt. "Just… great."