10

Insecure

At times, we just don't know what those feelings inside of us really are...

Chapter 10:

FINALLY!

NO MORE OF THIS ROTTEN HELLHOLE THAT THEY CALL SCHOOL!

I AM FREE!

I AM—

"Natsu, my friends want to come over."

"Shut it you!"

I AM FREE!

I AM—

"Wait, what?" I asked in confusion, looking over to the blonde girl making something in the kitchen. This was supposed to be our last night together, and I'm leaving this house tomorrow, so I thought for sure that we'd be alone or some shit. But, I guess she's having guests over, not like I care. That's even better, I won't have to talk to her! "What friends, nerd?"

I could hear her groan, "I do have friends. It's just that most of them are college students and they don't have so much free time for us to hang out together." I watched her stir something in a big bowl, "I also have a friend I used to go to middle school with, but she doesn't go to the same high school with us, and her school starts at different times. So, we can't hang out much during school days either."

To be honest, all I heard was 'blah, blah, friends, blah, I'm probably making a cake, blah blah, come and try it, blah'.

I walked over to her, watching her smell the brown substance in the bowl. My instincts tell me it's… "Is that chocolate?" I asked, watching her move away from me with the bowl, "Yeah, but you can't have any. I'm making brownies, so I don't need you eating the ingredients."

"Pshh, I won't eat the ingredi—GIVE ME THAT!"

She rolled her eyes, leaving the bowl on the counter, so she could read the recipe, and prepare the other ingredients. Ha. Perfect time to snatch the—

"If you so much as look at the chocolate mix, I'll eat all of the brownies myself."

Nice counterattack.

We suddenly heard the familiar sound of the bell ringing, and she told me to go open the door. "Wait, what am I supposed to say about myself?"

"You're my cousin, don't sweat it." She said, like she's been thinking about this for a while now. I guess she was right. I mean, what they don't know won't hurt them right? … wait a minute. I don't even know these people! What if they turn out to be some popular jerks that know me or some shit? Nah. They'll probably be boring people. Really, really boring people.

I opened the door, curious to see who's standing behind it. And wow. Like, wow. A genuine 'wow' moment. I can keep thinking 'wow' all over again, because honestly… just… wow...

...wow.

There were five people all in all.

A girl with white long hair, and sparkly blue eyes, which reminded me of Lisanna a lot, stood right next to the blonde tall guy I met earlier, who took Lucy out to that party or something. Laxus, I think. So, since the girl was holding his hand, she was probably the one he was trying to get, huh? Guess the plan really worked.

There was a guy with black spiky hair, and like, weird eyes that look like he can see through your soul, and your browser history, which made me feel a little bit uneasy. He had these weird piercings all over his face and like, he looked like he just broke out of prison and was on his way to the jewelry store to kill a man and take his shit.

A little girl with blue hair was holding his hand, which made the confusion even bigger. Like, were they dating or some shit? Why the fuck was a puny flat-chested girl like her going out with that thug-like dude? Ah nature, you really are filled with wonders.

And the last girl had brown hair, and wobbled from side to side. It looked like her legs barely stood still, while she laughed uncontrollably while holding a bottle of wine. I've been at enough parties to know this girl was drunk. Did Lucy hand out with these sorts of people?

And she was so well behaved at school? Which was like a cover up? Or maybe she was like, high the whole time and acted like a nerd. Duuuuuuude… OH maybe she's a robot sent from the illuminati to spy on me and take me to them… so they wanted me all along... CONSPIRACY!

"Um? Is Lucy here?" The white haired Lisanna-lookalike snapped me out of my thoughts, as I stepped to the side to let them enter, "Uh yeah, she's in the kitchen."

"Ooh Lucy, honey, you didn't tell ol' Cana about this hottie!" The brown haired drunk girl yelled out, giving me a onceover. "What have you been doing while I was out getting drunk? Tsk, tsk."

"I'm her uh, cousin." I said nervously, and the blonde guy shot me a look.

"yeah, right," The one with the piercings laughed, as the blue haired girl didn't say anything, but I could see it in their eyes that they really believed me. They all took off their coats and shoes, and we entered the living room.

"It's about time, I was getting worried." Lucy said, as she approached and hugged all of them one by one. They greeted her, and sat down on the couch and armchairs. I followed Lucy to the kitchen, leaving the others alone for a while.

"Uh, what the fuck? I thought you didn't have friends! And knowing that you did have friends was enough of a shock as it is! It didn't have to be some weird badass-looking people who don't even know who I am! What is going on? What is your real identity? Did you join the illuminati? I'm surprised they'd let a nerd like you join."

"Natsu, chill." She rolled her eyes, "I'm not as nerdy as you think I am. I mean, yes, I study a lot, but I just do it because I want to get into a good college, and I need perfect grades for that. But that has no effect on my social life whatsoever. I allow myself to be part of such people's circles since I too am not always into studying, as do I want to be a part of social interactions involving people born on a birth year close to my own!"

I couldn't keep my laughter in, "The way you said it just proves you're a nerd!"

She blushed, leaving her mouth agape.

"I can't believe you let your inner nerd spill out like that, you idiot!" I continued laughing as I walked back into the living room, and sat on one of the armchairs surrounding the coffee table in the middle of the large living room. "I'm Natsu Dragneel." I introduced myself, ready to make some new friends and probably steal them from Lucy once they realize how cool I am. "So, you guys are in college?"

"Not all of us," The Lisanna double replied, pointing towards Piercing-face and nerdy bluenette, "Those two are still in High School. Laxus, Cana and I are in College." She smiled politely, looking totally opposite of Lisanna's usual wicked smiles.

Lucy walked in a minute later, with drinks for everyone, "Introduction time! Natsu, this is Cana," she pointed towards the drunk girl in the armchair, "This is Gajeel," her finger landed on the piercing guy, "This is his girlfriend, Levy," said girl blushed and waved at me, "I think you've already met Laxus," the blonde guy just nodded in my direction, "and this is Mirajane," the white haired girl smiled again, "She's Lisanna's older sister."

The smile I prepared was swallowed down, along with all of my senses, as I processed that last sentence. She was Lisanna's older sister? Well that explains the looks but not the attitude! This girl looked super nice!

"So Lu," The quite one, Levy I think, finally spoke up, "How've you been? Did you finish reading that book I lent you?" Oh great, geek talk.

All aboard the nerd train. Choo choo!

"Oh yeah, it was amazing!" Lucy replied.

"Oh Lucy, you won't believe what happened to me the other day!" Lis—Mirajane shouted, the others looking at her, "I ran into this little kitten in a box just behind your school. I wanted to take it so badly, but Laxus is allergic." She sighed sadly.

"Boo fucking hoo," The drunk one—Cana—rolled her eyes, "at least you have a boyfriend", she shot a look at the giggling Levy.

Lucy rolled her eyes, "Not everyone needs a boyfriend like you do, Cana. Look at me, I'm perfectly fine just the way I am." Well it's not like she could get one even if she wanted to.

"Yeah Luce," Cana nodded in semi-understanding, "I get that, but imagine the perfect dude walking up to you. Don't cha want that?"

Lucy thought about it for a moment, "I guess if he had black hair and amazing blue eyes that I can fall in love with, I would reconsider. But he has to be handsome too."

"Ooh, handsome guys are the best!" Mirajane shouted.

"Well duh, I mean look at me." Laxus said, as we all laughed.

Wow, Lucy actually had some pretty normal friends, huh? They all look pretty okay for me, at least now. The girls are great in their weird ways, and the guys are cool too. One of them is even my age. I guess they're okay.

"I'm going to go get the brownies before they burn," Lucy laughed, getting up.

"I'll help." I said, watching her eye me in confusion.

"I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going!" Gajeel shouted, and everyone laughed.

Once we entered the kitchen and I made sure the door was closed, Lucy gave me a look that said 'what do you want'.

"Damn, your friends are actually normal! I thought they'd be some random bored freaks you accidently found on the street when you had nobody to play with on a lazy Sunday afternoon!" I yelled enthusiastically, "They seem pretty cool."

"We're childhood friends." She responded, as she started taking out the brownies from the pan and placing them on a plate in an orderly fashion, "I've known them since forever. I mean, we practically grew up together. And I don't plan on losing them, so don't do anything stupid while they're here. Also, don't try to make my life hell while they're here."

I just rolled my eyes in boredom, not really having the time to waste on her.

"So, you won't mind if I talk to them?"

"Nope."

And that's how the rest of the night went. We had fun, talked a lot, played some video games, and Cana got drunk at least sixteen times since she got here. Levy and Gajeel disappeared somewhere in the middle of the party, but were back soon. It was okay, for a nerd party. They left not much after 2 Am, and it was just me and Lucy now. Though she was already asleep, and I had to walk them out.

Stupid nerd, falling asleep in the middle of the party.

She had her back faced towards the couch, as she was leaning on it. I walked over to her laptop, just to chek if I had any new messages. I did. I had one from Gray, and another one from Sting.

Gray: Bro, I think Sting's into Lucy. I saw him stalk you guys after school yesterday. But I told him to stop, and he was embarrassed, so he just went straight home.

That's my Gray!

Ew. That sounded a bit… ew.

And the one from Sting: Don't ruin my chances on Wednesday.

Dude? The fuck does he even think I'm going to do? Follow her to the resort and make sure she doesn't fall in love with him? Like hell I will! I've got friends. Well, only Gray for now, but I might find new ones! I don't need Lucy anymore. After all, I've finished using her, and I'm leaving tomorrow. So, he can do whatever he wants now.

Speaking of that good for nothing nerd, why is she still sleeping like that? Leaning on the couch like that without a care in the world…

I walked over to her, sitting down on the couch, and staring into her face. She was peaceful. Like it was the safest place in the world, and nothing bad was ever going to happen. She gave off a calming aura, and it felt pleasant to watch her, which was weird, since I always felt irritated when I watched her.

I guess she can be kind of cute (not really) when she's sleeping because I can't hear any bullshit escape her mouth. She looks weird. Like she's anticipating something. Her mouth's a little open, and her eyes are closed. Wow, perfect time for a kiss—

Is what you thought I'd say?

Well no, I still don't want ebola or herpes or something. Whatever. I bet there's no one who would actually willingly kiss a creature like her.

But I feel sort of weird though. She pisses me off and I'm rude to her all the time, and then, in a few moments, I act nice. The fuck? I should just pick one already. Like, if I'm rude, I should be rude all the time, not just randomly act nice towards a girl I hate.

I pick rude of course.

But sometimes…

I guess I just act on my own, and I'm nice.

Fucking emotions, making me feel insecure. I just don't even know what's going on anymore. It must be the atoms or something.

I feel like she's the person I despise most, but at the same time… it's not like that. I don't know how to explain it. It's like she's messing with my brain. There's something telling me that I'm supposed to hate her, but in the first place, I don't even remember why I started hating her so much. Maybe if I did, I would hate her even more than I do now, but there's something wrong with me. I mean, I do want to kill her, but I don't want to kill her. Does that make any sense? I just want to wipe away her existence form the face of the earth, but I also want to talk with her and goof off.

The struggle is real.

I don't even know what to think anymore.

I leaned my head onto her shoulder, "I was supposed to sleep on the couch, stupid," I whispered, closing my eyes, and letting myself drift off into a dream.

This was our last night together.

A/N: Heyy there guys! It's been 5 days ( i think ) and I've been seriously busy with my school. I have to read a lot of books and stuff, and my teacher wants me to go to a Chemistry competition, which I highly doubt I'll win. But I have an upcoming English competition in Italy ( if i get past the first round in my county ) so i got that going for me, which is nice.

Also, thanks a lot for helping me out by writing those amazing reviews that I just love to read. you guys always manage to make me smile, no matter the situation.

I've been great in case someone cares, and I love all of you!

Please vote on the pole on my profile!

~With Keys, Through Flames! Aye!~

End of Chapter 10.