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Chapter 10: A Simple Man with Simple Desire

I woke with a start alone and cold the next morning to my cell phone ringing loudly. I fell back on my bed, and reached sloppily on my bedside table locating the source of the annoying noise. I opened it, held it to my ear and snapped a hello.

"Whoa, calm down," I heard Amelia's voice on the other line. "Did I wake you, Sookie? It's like almost four." I groaned and put a hand over my eyes, trying to wake up. Yesterday had been so long and I had stayed up so late. I needed all the sleep I could get. My legs were screaming as I stretched. All that walking was not a good idea. Maybe I should wait another week until I'm back at Merlotte's.

"I'm up, I'm up," I grumbled pulling myself out of bed, and limping to the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Are you getting coffee?" Amelia guessed. I grunted a reply. She knew I didn't like to talk when I first got up. "Bet you miss me, huh? I would've had it all ready for you."

"Yes, I do."

"Good. Well, you're gonna be up half the night having a coffee so late in the day, unless, you and Eric are going real good. Ooh, I bet you are. Waking up later in the day, drinking coffee to stay up. Is everything back to normal?"

"As normal as a relationship with a vampire can be," I replied, sitting at the kitchen table, waiting for the coffee to brew.

Amelia seemed thoughtful. "Well, I've talked to Octavia about getting rid of your blood bond." My heart thudded and I suddenly felt very much awake.

"What did she say?" I asked, impatiently.

Amelia hesitated. "Sookie, do you really want to know? Won't this ruin the progress the two of you are making? I mean, you'd been flirting with each other for almost two years, isn't it about time you settle and give it a shot?"

I remembered last night with Eric. We connected, were more intimate than ever before. He told me about his past, he dealt with the Debbie problem all for me, he got in time before Franz could do anything, he told Alcide to back off...we made love.

"Sookie?" Amelia grabbed my attention. My coffee was ready.

"I think I want to know. Whether I actually go through with breaking the bond or not...I'll make that decision later," I said, pouring myself a cup, relishing in the smell. It soothed my nerves as I sat at my kitchen table, feeling warmer and more awake.

Amelia didn't respond and I wondered where her mind was at for only a second before I realized I was relieved not to have Amelia's loud thoughts bombarding me at all hours of the day. I loved my ex-roommate, but boy could she broadcast.

"There is a way to break the bond and I think Octavia and I could do it. We'd need some time to prepare, to practice...it's not easy. I think the only reason there's a way to break a blood bond – which is really powerful magic in its own strange way – was only ever discovered because of a few deep-pocketed, egotistical vampires who accidentally fell in too deep with their humans and wanted out quick. But, that wasn't the case with you and Eric, so you're bond is deeper than the average accidental one. You guys knew what you were doing and you loved one another."

Whether I loved Eric in Rhodes or not, it wasn't a romantic moment when we formed the bond. We had Andre breathing down our necks, a vampire summit on the other side of the wall and I had boyfriend. I wasn't so sure about Eric's feelings when he propositioned himself instead of Andre, but he had good intentions toward me, that I am sure. He did good by me and I will forever be grateful to him, I've realized that now. But this bond...if I wanted anything with Eric it had to be real. It had to be me feeling all these feelings with no influence.

Part of the reason I liked vampires was because I couldn't hear their thoughts. Except for the occasional second where I dip into their minds against my will, they are blank spaces to me. I can feel Eric's feelings, which, in its own way, is as if I'm privy to his thoughts. I don't like it. But, lately, I've been seeing the bond differently. I had felt the companionship, the intimacy and the affection when I was with him. It was nice in that sense. Eric and I were just constantly trying to reach for one another and missing for one thing or another. The progress we had made as a couple in the past were not without their fair share of obstacles. The bond was one of them. There were lines and often times my relationship with Eric crossed what I was comfortable with and what I wasn't.

"Is that all?" I cleared my throat, hearing the shake in my voice.

Amelia waited a while longer before saying, "It'll make you sick, Sookie. The human usually dies when the bond is broken."

The human usually dies. The vampires always live on, right? That's the way the cookie crumbles. Till death do you part, should have been his words before he sunk his fangs into my neck.

"So, it lasts forever?" I swallow the nervous saliva that accumulated in my mouth.

"I don't know, Sookie. I only know what the affects of witch magic will leave. You should really talk to Eric about this," Amelia said. "It'll be fine. I really think so. Just mull over it for a few days, talk to Eric and then...you know, we'll see."

We'll see.

"Do you still take his blood and does he you?" The last time Amelia had asked me this, she had warned me against continuing, but I could never stop myself with Eric. It was always the heat of the moment and I was always overwhelmed with the blind desire to be bitten and to bite him. I was probably treading a fine line of being a V-addict and being just a girl with a vampire boyfriend. Gosh, I sure tested my limits with these lines, didn't I? "Sookie?"

I put a hand to my mouth and let out a mumbled goodbye to my friend, not answering her question. I hung up and stared at my phone for a couple more minutes. Feeling too sick for coffee, I dumped it into the sink, watching it go down the drain. For a couple minutes I didn't have a single thought to worry about, I cleared my mind and zoned out. I snapped my attention back to Earth and looked out my kitchen window to see the sun playing low in the sky. I had to stop living at these vampire hours.

I went to get dressed for the day (or night). I remembered everything about last night as if it was replaying like a movie. One thing I picked up right now was what Eric said about Alina maybe being a blood-sibling for Bill. I felt so much relief. I was glad that he would be on the road to recovery soon enough. I felt excited for him and I really wanted to go over to his house and tell him. I washed my face, and then went downstairs to get some cereal, my appetite returning. Bill would live.

When the sun set, I walked through the cemetery to visit Bill, I hadn't seen him since Sunday when Claude had come. I wasn't sure how everything went after Eric took him out of my house but I can only assume it went well, since Eric didn't tell me anything to the contrary. I knocked on the door, precariously, remembering last time. I realized maybe Bill couldn't answer the door, when it was opened for me. Bubba stood on the other side, absolutely beaming.

"Miss Sookie! You came to see Mr Bill!" I gave him a hug and he stepped aside for me to come in.

"What are you doing here Bubba?" I asked, glancing around the house, Bill wasn't on the first floor, it seemed.

"Mr Eric sent me here to look after Mr Bill until he gets better," Bubba said. "I like it here. He is very nice to me."

I smiled warmly at Bubba. "Can you show me where he is?" I wondered if I'm even able to see him. He must be so weak. Bubba nodded and I followed him up the stairs. He lead me to the bedroom Bill and I used to use when we were together. I hadn't been here in a while and I was nervous about the explosion of memories that would hit me when Bubba opened the door. Staring into the room, I only saw a sickly Bill who looked to have aged about ten years since I last saw him. His brown eyes were fading into a dull grey, the life being sucked out of them. His body was gaunt, his skin sagging, his pale skin, whiter than any other vampire. I felt a little nauseous staring at my former boyfriend looking so defeated. "Oh, Bill!" I cry, rushing to his side.

Bill shakes his head, weakly. "Sookie," his voice is hoarse.

"Don't speak, Bill, oh God," I look at the bedside table and see a glass of blood. I put it to his lips and he closes his eyes, his mouth shut. "Bill you have to drink!" I urge. Only when he opens his mouth and swallows the blood, do I realize that this probably belonged to a human. I feel sick to my stomach at the whole situation.

"You should go," it takes him a while to get these words out. I shake my head and kiss his forehead, feeling horrible.

"You're gonna be okay, Bill. I talked to Eric – we've got you a blood-sibling!" I smiled at him as comfortingly as I can. Bill's brow furrowed in confusion. Oh, he just looks awful. He opened his mouth to ask more but I placed a finger on his ice cold lips. "Eric's first child will be the one."

Bill is expressionless. I sort of hoped for more of a reaction like – Yeah, I'm gonna live! But what else could I expect from Bill?

"Don't worry about it, she should be here soon," I said. I turned to Bubba and said, "Can you get me a warm cloth, please?" he nods enthusiastically and darts to the bathroom.

Bill turned his head slightly to the blood and I tried to keep the disgusted look off my face when I poured more down his throat. He opened his mouth, blood still fresh on his lips and said, "I don't want Eric's help." At least, I think that's what he said. His voice was a low utter and crackly.

"Of course you're gonna take it," I said to him pointedly. "You can't die Bill. You're a vampire."

He concentrates on my face, lifting his head to say something serious. "Nothing lasts forever," he said.

I felt my mouth open in surprise. "What? You last forever! That`s the way it goes. I'll die one day. But you, Eric and Pam will go on..." He shook his head stubbornly. He was so cool, his expression withdrawn and almost resigned. He really thought he was going to have his second death. I felt angry. I stood up off my knees beside his bed and glared down at him. "You listen to me, Bill Compton. Whether you like it or not, this is not your end. You're gonna have that blood and you're gonna go on for years and years – centuries, millenniums, that is what you'll do!"

He gave me a pitying look, his sunken in cheeks, his lips turned downward. I will not be pitied! He's the one who – I break off. What if he really died? No. No. No. No.

"I think you survived that fairy war for a reason, Bill. I think it's God's way of telling you, you have more to do. You could have easily died that day but you didn't. This is your life, you have an opportunity to keep it and you will."

Bill closed his eyes briefly. "I'm not like you...Sookie...or Eric. You two are survivalists," he stumbled over the word, his throat dry, I poured more blood into his mouth. "You are meant for him."

I'm handed a wet cloth and I dab his face thoughtfully.

Biting my lower lip, my eyes dragging across his frail broken body. Tears were streaming down my face. This was the worst thing...My first boyfriend – I had loved him, I had hated him, I had forgiven him. I wasn't done with Bill yet. I felt a connection with him. It wasn't necessarily romantic, but it was friendly. He was my friend.

"I don't know what the future holds for all of us, Bill. But when Eric's child gets here, she's gonna help you get better and you'll forget about this whole believing you're gonna die thing. And, hey, I hear she kinda looks like me," I said. Well that was a general statement: blond hair, blue eyes, it's all relative right?

Bill's lips twitch in amusement. "I love you," he mouthed, not bringing his voice into play. I'm practically sobbing now. Why am I crying? He'll be alright. I kiss his forehead again.

"I've got to go," I whispered. He nodded in understanding. I have to go to Eric. He is my boyfriend now and we are done, Bill. I turn my mouth to his ear. "I love you too, Bill. I want you to be my friend for the rest of my life." Maybe that sounded mean, but I meant it sincerely, and Bill understood my meaning. I kiss him one last time on the cheek and leave the warm cloth on his forehead. I give him a final look before leaving the house, tears blurring my vision. I know the way back home perfectly.

When I arrived home, I looked up and find Pam there, admiring her nails. She follows me to my door silently, waiting for me to open it. I fumbled with the key, a sob escaping my lips, until I finally opened it and threw myself at the kitchen table.

"Eric has summoned Alina," Pam stands inhumanly beside me. "She'll save your Bill."

I cried in agreement. Pam doesn't understand that I'm grateful for her words. She gets me a glass of water which is probably the most thoughtful thing I've ever seen Pam do. It makes me blubber and her eyes widen in surprise.

"What is wrong with you? Stop leaking," she said, looking nervous. Her horror at my crying makes me laugh and then I can't stop. "I don't know why Eric sends me here. I can't deal with this." She sits opposite me and I brush my tears away letting the laughter overtake my sadness. "Humans," she scoffed, and I cackled delightedly.

When I finally calm down, Pam raises her brows as if to ask, 'Are you better now?' I allowed a wistful smile to break across my features.

We sit in silence, Pam sipping a True Blood she had to get it herself because I'm a bad hostess. I began to remember my conversation with Amelia and my evening with Bill. A question hovered on my lips. If I'm too hesitant to ask Eric, maybe I could flirt with the idea around Pam.

"How much do you know about blood bonds and blood-siblings?" I asked. Pam looked startled by my question.

"I don't know much, Sookie. Shouldn't you ask Eric?"

I shrugged. "I'm asking you. Eric's not here. Besides, I've given him plenty of opportunities to clarify a few things and he's always dodged my questions."

Pam smirked and I took that as a go ahead.

"The blood-siblings thing. What does it mean for Bill?"

"He'll live," she curtly answered.

"Yes, but will Alina sort of become his new maker or something."

Pam rolled her eyes. "From what I know Bill's blood is tainted, it's unusable – he can't live off it. Lorena's blood is fading and he needs to get rid of it. Alina will give him hers. He'll have to have her blood regularly until all the poison is out of his system. And he will be more submissive toward her. Whether she'll be able to summon him, or control him is unclear. Every blood-sibling response in the past has been different."

"I think Bill doesn't want Eric's blood in him. Would that make them connected?"

Pam nursed her drink. "A little bit. It won't compare to his new connection with Alina, but him and Eric will be more attached then they'd like I'm sure." Pam found this amusing, I could tell by the wicked glint in her eye. I worried for the two of them. "Don't expect Eric and Bill to become best buddies over you, Sookie."

I felt offended. "I don't!" I never thought like that.

Pam gave me a sceptical look.

I decided to snap my mouth shut and let Pam have her moment of smugness. "Alright," I said, inhaling deeply. "What about my blood bond with Eric?

Pam looked surprised. We stared at one another for a while. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable under her gaze and the silence stretched on. "What do you want to know Sookie?" Her voice was emotionless, but there was a hint of danger, of threat.

My throat felt dry and when I swallowed nervously, it burned. My head pounded as if a headache were on its way. "Can the blood bond go away on its own?"

Nothing until, "Do you want it to go away?"

I can't look at her anymore. I play with the wood chipping at the corner of the table, my fingers picking at it. "I want to know more about it, Pam, that's all."

I hear her sigh heavily, such a normal sound from Pam. "You're alright for a human, Sookie. You have given me a lot to work with when teasing Eric and that has always been difficult over the years. I don't know why my master is still after you, but he is and it makes him happy. I don't want to see him...disturbed."

I nodded agreeably, focusing on the table instead of her probing stare.

"That being said, I think he likes your bond."

Way to make me feel guilty, Pam. Thankssomuch. Whether Eric likes it or not, though, I'm an independent woman and I need to know my options. I can't just sit back and not know what else is out there.

So, I set my ground. I spoke loudly and clearly (although I still can't look at her) and asked, "Will the bond fade over time?"

I feel as if Pam might hit me for being such a bitch. I don't want to be. I really don't want to hurt Eric, but I'm being as realistic as possible. Right now, I want to be with Eric. No one else. I'm not thinking about our future, I'm thinking about our present. But I have to keep things open for my future when I decide to take a good hard look at it one day. And unfortunately, I think that day will come someday and I want to be prepared to make the most appropriate decision for me and the people around me.

"Yes," Pam said and I'm slammed back into our conversation. I look up at her slowly, and her eyes are tight, observing me narrowly. "If you and Eric cease to exchange blood, over time, it will fade."

I looked down, my heart feeling heavy with guilt. I shouldn't have asked her – but it beat watching Eric's face fall when I interrogated him about it.

"But it won't fade in a couple months. It'll take years and you will feel the effects, the absence of him as you attempt to 'break-up'."

I frowned. "This is pretty serious – this blood-bond thing. You know what, Pam? I really wish I knew about it before hand."

"You didn't have a choice, Sookie. It was Eric or Andre. Andre would have used every bit of influence he had over you to survive Rhodes, no matter what happened, no matter who he had to kill, no matter how you felt. What happened happened and there's nothing you or Eric or anyone else can do about it." Pam was firm and often seemed the one to remind people of reality.

I nodded seriously, conveying my understanding. She had a point. I just wish Andre wasn't such a manipulative jerk...

Pam and I mulled over our conversation when my phone rang. I checked the caller ID and see its Eric calling. I waited for it to ring once more and answered it.

"Hi," I said, tracing the wood grain on the table. I waited with bated breath for his voice to soothe me, calm me.

"My lover, are you having a nice night?" Oh, it did just that. I closed my eyes so I could feel the full effect of what his voice did to me. I knew he had felt my misery earlier with Bill.

"I'm better," I told him. "When are you coming over?" I asked, glancing at the clock on the stove that told me it was about ten o'clock.

"I'm afraid, Sookie, I won't be able to see you tonight."

Disappointment crashes down on me. This is awful. I have gotten too used to Eric being around me so often that the thought of one night apart was tearing me up inside.

"Oh," I mumbled.

"My lover, will you come to Fangtasia tomorrow night?" he tried to make amends with me for missing me tonight.

Childishly I said, "If you want me to."

"Oh, yes, I do. I want you here now, too, Sookie. I want you on my lap, so I can feel you, inhale your scent, squeeze your breasts and grind into your pelvis with my erect penis. I'm hard for you right now, my lover. As soon as I heard your voice," he told me huskily. I squeaked, my face warming and I'm sure I was beat red. I looked at Pam who is smirking at me evilly, hearing his every word. I dropped the phone, so distracted and when I scrambled to pick it up again, the line had disconnected.

I lurch out of the kitchen and down the hall to my bedroom and Eric is calling me back. I answered with an errant "Yes?" my voice so high and so flustered I wondered where I found it. My door is firmly shut to keep away Pam.

"Did you faint and drop the phone because of my elicit words, Sookie?" he teased me.

"No," I tried to say strongly, but it's so very weak.

"That's too bad," his tone was promising me so much. I was overwhelmed and my knees were shaking, so I sat down, feeling all the blood in my body rush to my head. "Are you blushing?"

"No, stop it," I hissed, not wanting Pam to hear. He lets out a delighted laugh, I can imagine him leaning back in his chair, throwing his head back and his long, muscled neck stretched out invitingly, his Adam's apple bobbing like no one else's. I felt a shiver start form the top of my head to the tips of my toes. "I'm going to bed now," I told him.

"Mmm," he seemed unconvinced.

He's right of course. I had only just woken up. "Okay, fine, I won't be because you kept me up all night."

"I did?" he asked in disbelief. "I seem to remember a certain young lady asking me for one more round before I left for the night."

I sniffed, playfully. "I don't remember that at all."

"Convenient," I heard the clear pronouncement of his foreign accent. I smiled at the sound, loving it when I caught a hint of his time in a different land so long ago. I heard someone talking to him and he barked back a response, pulling the phone away far enough so that I can't hear what he's saying. "I unfortunately have to go, my lover. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"Bye," I said, wanting to say so much more, but at a loss for words. The line disconnected and I was left with nothing to do but sleep, read or hang out with Pam.

God, I hoped tomorrow night would be better when I spent it with my Viking.

R/R!!