Author's Notes: As always, thank you for reading, reviewing, and following. Writing is never without its labors, writing pages and pages and then realizing you want to go in a different direction. Thanks for remaining patient. ** Please see end of chapter for my responses to reviews on Chp. 9

I do not own the AVP universe and make no profit in writing this story. I only own my characters, and the ones in the pages to follow.

I was relieved to find Ayida alone in the common room. Slinking in while everyone else ate their evening meals, it was difficult to look at her in such a weakened state. Though she smiled, it was forced and I could tell that she was having a hard time holding it together. She was strong, but I knew she wanted to give into the weakness plaguing her body. Whether it was a lack of sleep, malnourishment, or a pup literally sucking the life out of her bones, I wanted desperately to help her but was helpless to understand the first thing about pregnancy.

"What is wrong?" Ayida asked as I sat down across from her. I wanted to be near her, but wouldn't allow her to even crane her neck to see me better.

"Never mind about me. Why are you alone?"

Ayida waved dismissively. "Not hungry."

"Have you been sleeping in here or with Shunlaut?" I was hoping the latter as his private quarters would provide her with the quiet she needed.

"Both. I start out in Shunlaut's bed, but I just can't get comfortable. Wind up pacing back and forth in the room before coming here for a change in scenery." She rubbed her belly, wincing in response to a pain she would not admit out loud. "And why are you here?"

Hiding.

"Not hungry." I smiled.

She smiled and for a moment I caught a glimpse of my strong Ayida before her growing pain stole her away again.

"Are you nervous?"

"About?"

"You and Dalani...Must be what, three days from now?"

I shrugged. I hadn't been thinking about it much, though I knew it mattered more than what was currently plaguing my every waking thought. "I am as ready as I'll ever be."

"You are finished training then?"

"Yes." Not because I wanted to be, but because other than being here with Ayida right now, I had locked myself in my room and was loathe to leave it for any reason.

"Gikvaris must be thrilled to have you out of his hair." Ayida reached for her glass of water with trembling hands.

"You are coming, aren't you?" Studying her, I was beginning to worry if Ayida would make it to the fight...or at all.

"Of course. Wouldn't miss that beat down for the world." She took a sip of water, but was soon overwhelmed by a terrible coughing fit.

"Do you want me to take you to the clinic?" Though I was asking her, I was pretty sure at any moment I would pick her up and carry her myself to the clinic.

"No, no. Not all pregnancies are easy, Exia. I am getting older. The older I get, the harder it becomes."

"Then stop." My tone was less than kind, but none of the pain or the honor she gained for enduring it would be worth much if she wasn't alive to enjoy it.

"I am, Exia. This will be the last one."

I nodded, pleased with her decision. Eight, including the stillborn pup, was enough. "Will you stay with Shunlaut, then?"

Ayida nodded. "If he is willing, then yes. If not, then I suppose they'll find some other use for me."

I couldn't imagine what that would be, but I was sure hoping it wouldn't take her away from me. She was more than a friend and one day I would tell her why I thought of her more as a mother than a Yautja-captive sister. Right now I don't think she could have handled to hear all the baggage I carried around with me. She was just one of those women that would carry it right alongside with me, and right now she had enough burdens weighing her down.

"Exia...You're not yourself. The girls tell me you haven't been in the hall for days."

I was hiding a lot from many different people - and Yautja and artificial beings - for many different reasons, but how could I even begin to tell Ayida what had sent me into hiding in the first place? I had overcome one weakness just to be stricken by another. Kch'lo had definitely warped my perception of my own progress, piercing the fantasy I had created to cope with my hopeless situation. There would never be love between Kal'ar and I. Any affection he showed me was only in an effort to secure my unquestioning devotion to the future of his clan. I couldn't be certain that this was exactly the motive behind Kal'ar's actions, but the pieces handed to me day after day began to build a picture far greater and far more ominous than the picture I had painted myself. I was even flirting with the temptation of sabotaging my match with Dalani just to test Kch'lo's theory. Would Kal'ar continue to pursue me if he had indeed ran out of options to convince the elders of my worth, as Kch'lo said? And by testing his affections, holding to the hope that Kch'lo's subtle suggestion was only a theory and not fact, would I just be falling into a trap Kch'lo had cleverly set for me?

"Exia? What is it?" Ayida began to move from the sofa but I put up my hands to stop her. It would be easier for both of us if I just answered her instead of allowing her to expend energy she didn't have just to get me to talk.

"It's everything, Ayida. Everything is wrong. Nothing make sense anymore. Yesterday I was sure Kal'ar would choose me no matter what the elders thought and today I wonder if he'll even care I lost let alone what the hell happens to me afterwards." I wanted to cry, but I had done enough of that in my room. I didn't want to give Ayida another reason to get up and come over to me. She needed all the strength she could get.

"It's your nerves," Ayida said. "Have a glass of c'nlip and stop letting Dalani get inside of your head."

I shook my head. The Bitch was the least of my worries, ironically. "How can I focus when there are so many possible outcomes? Does it really even matter if I win? If I don't win? No matter what I do or don't do, the only one who doesn't have control of my life is me."

"Knowing that, why do you worry? You must make peace with what is out of your control. You cannot be angry at what was not of your own doing. Do you think I was pleased to leave my son and daughter? Though they are grown, do you not think I would rather be holding my own grandchildren instead of the offspring of my captors? But there is nothing I can do that will bring me back to them or them to me. They will live never knowing what became of their mother and I will die never knowing what became of my children." Ayida's words were painfully heavy, but lacked the bitterness I expected. "All that matters is that you live. You can live and find happiness or you can allow your resentment to poison you. The only one your bitterness affects is you. Do you think they care if you are unhappy bearing their pups? If they considered our happiness, perhaps we would have received an invitation rather than being snatched away from our loved ones without the decency of leaving a goodbye note pinned to the refrigerator."

Perhaps insensitively, I replied: "I would rather be in your position than the one I'm currently in. I'd be glad to trade."

Yeah, Ayida had it easy: a relationship with no strings attached. Not having to constantly worry about the tone of your voice or a mild expression of contempt or displeasure. Just meet, breed, repeat. Shit, they weren't even expected to learn the Yautja language because for the sole purpose of breeding, it wasn't necessary.

Taking Ayida's advice I grabbed a cup of c'nlip.

"So Kal'ar doesn't choose you. And? You'll either bear his pups or another's. In the end, what difference does it make?"

It was painful to think I could lose Kal'ar. I had done many things to prove I was the worthier choice and I believed he had done much to acknowledge my hard work. But whenever I dared to hope, Kch'lo's oppressive words came back to haunt me.

"I am afraid, Ayida. If Kal'ar doesn't choose me..."

"Go on. If he doesn't choose you, then what?" I appreciated her no-frills policy of interrogation, but just thinking of the words let alone speaking them out loud terrified me.

"Someone else has made their interest clear." I lifted my cup to my lips and hoped it would dull my nerves as it made its way down my throat. And just in case one cup didn't do the trick, there was an entire jug waiting for me just to make sure it did.

Ayida's eyes widened. I don't think she was anticipating what I had said, likely because she believed I was only struggling with the potential of a failed dream rather than an actual fear that happened to have an impressive set of tusks and a badass way of making someone feel like a child with his pointer finger.

"Before I ask who, have you spoken to Kal'ar?"

I shook my head. I was actively avoiding him, but the charade could only go on for so long. I'd have to fess up to something, but it sure as hell wasn't going to be about what his brother and I had discussed. I was more afraid of Kch'lo's wrath and I hadn't even seen it yet than Kal'ar's, which made an appearance at least every other day.

"Who? Who would dare assert a claim against what belongs to Kal'ar?"

I took a sip of my c'nlip again and then I took a gulp, effectively emptying my cup. "Kch'lo." I wasn't even sure if she heard me. I didn't even want to hear myself. I was really hoping I would wake up and this all would have been a dream. I'd still be in the clinic adjusting to the tracking device implanted at the base of my skull like a dog getting microchipped.

Ayida's dark skin actually paled. I was worried about her condition, but pleased that at least she visibly understand the gravity of my situation. I wasn't dealing with another His'tgar or an overconfident Young-blood looking to make a name for himself by picking a fight with a Yautja that outranked him. I was dealing with a Yautja who had more rank than any other Yautja on this ship apart from Kal'ar. And the fact that they were kin made it that much worse. Surely even the implication of his interest would tarnish my standing. I had little doubt that the elders would be quick to accuse me of soliciting Kch'lo's affections. Maybe they'd even accuse me of trying to organize a coup since Kch'lo was, by birthright, the next legitimate clan leader as Kal'ar had no pups. And Kch'lo had so many...

Yes. My mind was really working every possible angle.

"He is not a Yautja to be trifled with," Ayida said. Her voice was laced with warning, but I was already well aware of the danger. "The fact that he has even shared his interest with you should be an indication that this goes deeper than mere attraction. If he has put his intentions into words, you can be sure that they are followed by action." She was visibly uncomfortable with the truth I had shared with her. "There is a reason Kch'lo is an Arbitrator and not clan leader. Stay away from him, Exia. Stay as far away as you can and bury his words before they have a chance of poisoning you."

Hadn't his words already poisoned me? Or was I just blaming him because the truth was truly too difficult to accept?

"How?!"

How the hell can I avoid Kal'ar's brother?!

"Whatever it is that draws him to you, extinguish it."

I scoffed. "Apparently it's what draws him and Kal'ar to me."

I had learned long before my encounter with an alien species that weakness tends to have a gravitational pull for predators and no matter how cleverly disguised those weaknesses are, both animals and humans had a keen sense of smell for it. The Yautja were no different; they just had the greater advantage with advanced weaponry and technology.

"Be careful not to use his words," Ayida intoned gravely. "Though they share the same blood, they are not the same. What drives Kal'ar is different than what drives Kch'lo. One is determined to breathe life into his clan and the other is just as determined to snuff it out."

I stood up and set my cup down.

"Where are you going?"

"I gotta pack some of my shit up."

Ayida eyed me curiously.

"I'm moving in here." I looked around the room, sure as hell I would regret my choice later. They didn't even have a window view. Just walls, more walls, and terrible, bright lighting that made the entire room feel like a quarantine zone.

"Will Kal'ar allow it?"

I shrugged, laughing wearily. "I'm sure after avoiding him for days, this move will make him pissed as all hell. But I'll just tell him I've got baby fever. That ought to keep him happy...at least for now, right?"

She didn't answer me so I guess that was an answer in itself.

I went to my room, but I was only kidding myself if I believed I actually had anything to pack. A covering or two? It wasn't like the catastrophe of boxing up an entire apartment three times in the span of five years. I would miss the quiet privacy of my room, but I was loathe to be trapped by it; unable to flee if Kal'ar demanded answers from me; helpless to stop myself from begging V to navigate these murky waters; incapable of turning away from the answers Kch'lo did not demand like his brother, but offered freely. The truth was dirty and it would seem that I had had my fair share of its filth so far.

Leaving the room was the easy part, but opening the doors to the common room was not without its expectation of regret. I was living in another universe, but this room was an entirely different world in and of itself. The dynamics of the human relationship, especially among pregnant, emotional females, was a battle in itself. The girls loved me for what I had done to Dalani, which was a lifetime ago for me but as vivid as yesterday for them, but I worried what they would think when they realized I was no hero, but just as helpless as they were. Heroes inspire us to do better and be greater, but soon the veil would be lifted and they would see I was no hero, but a wounded animal instinctively lashing out. I didn't have a greater purpose for warring with Dalani. Defeating her would never change the simple truth that all of us were just surrogates for a species whose legacy would always consider us, their human bearers, inferior.

"Need help carrying all that in?"

Yeah. The little I had was actually pretty amusing.

I shrugged. "Maybe I should call the movers." I set down my covering on the couch before sitting down.

"There's a back room," Ayida said, nodding toward a small corridor to the left. "Rose wouldn't mind sharing with you."

I shook my head, taking a deep breath. "I'd rather stay right here."

"On the sofa? But Exia, you'll never get any privacy."

And that was the whole point. No privacy meant no more uncomfortable confrontations of truth.

Ignoring her concern, I asked: "Feeling better?" She didn't look so weak anymore, but she still didn't look like herself.

"Pup's sleeping. Shunlau is going to have a mighty warrior on his hands." She kneaded her pillow and then laid down, making sure her belly was comfortably positioned. "It's too early to sleep, Exia. Why don't you go and find the girls?"

"I promise, I don't snore." I laid down and rested my head on my curled arm. I could have balled up my covering and made myself comfortable, but my mind was too alive to expect it to settle down so early. And even if I wanted to go to sleep, there was far too much to weigh and consider. Sleep would have to wait while I attempted to solve this unsettling riddle. And as tempting as it was to tire myself out in the kehrite, Gikvaris was among those I vigorously sought to keep my distance from. The playful teasing I once enjoyed dishing out equally having served back to me would surely be the final stroke that burst my carefully crafted bubble of counterfeit worth.

"Are you menstruating?"

My eyes went wide and I looked around to make sure no one else had heard him.

"V..."

"Are you? There is no other viable reason for you to have inserted yourself into the common room and be so openly opposed to taking visitors or making an appearance during the evening meal. Your absence has not gone unnoticed, Exia. It would be wise for you to provide a reason for your isolation rather than allow others to speculate."

"Others? You mean Dalani? Or the Elders? Or - "

"Kal'ar, Exia. Your accountability to him is all that matters."

I gnawed at the stubs of my fingernails. "Anyone else?"

"Are you asking me if your accountability matters to anyone other than Kal'ar?" No acrimonious undertone; just the clarifying, computing inflection of a droid I continually mistook for a human.

"Anyone else speculating?...Aware of my absence...?"

V paused before speaking, surely shuffling through a chaotic memory process to answer accurately. "Not that I am aware of."

I sighed in relief, but then that sinking feeling of disappointment welled within in my chest and sent me into a panicked frenzy of examining and dissecting myself. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I wasn't supposed to feel this way. Why should I care if Kch'lo noticed my absence? He was nothing to me before, but suddenly I found him creeping uninvited into my thoughts like some budding, sick fixation.

"V, can I ask you something?"

"Certainly." V placed his hands on his lap, one of many scripted gestures that slowly began to eat away at me. He wasn't my enemy, but he had been charged with my learning at Kal'ar's request. I fought my own suspicions that he had some secret agenda, but my skepticism only increased the more I inspected every object, living or not, within my environment.

"I was speaking with the girls about their Yautja mates and I have some questions about the nature of Yautja rank. I know you've explained a lot of it to me, but I don't completely understand." The one advantage I had over V was that unlike Kal'ar, Gikvaris, or Kch'lo, V definitely didn't have a bullshit radar. If I wanted answers, all I had to do was push a button he was literally programmed to respond to, sit back, and just listen to his infinite knowledge.

"As you know, the eta are considered the 'untouchables' of Yautja society. For one reason or another, they are no longer able to join the hunt and are instead used to perform basic duties on the clanship as well as menial tasks for Yautja warriors while on hunts. As you are aware, His'tgar is neither lame, crippled, or otherwise physically impaired, but his demotion from Elder to eta was strictly for humiliation purposes rather than a punishment typical for one that chooses death over dishonor after a failed hunt.

"Un-blooded Yautja remain in training until the time of their chiva. They are not permitted to hunt or use deadly weapons while sparring. Most of the Yautja you see in the kehrite are Un-blooded. Young-bloods are Un-blooded Yautja that have passed their chiva. Young and full of ambition, they are relentless on the hunt, seeking to collect as many trophies as possible to prove their status. Similarly, Blooded Yautja are essentially Young-bloods, only with more hunt experience.

"Yautja warriors are those that hunt alone, often considered 'Lone Wolfs'. They rarely return to the clanship while in pursuit of the most worthy of prey. Then there is the Honored, who enjoy more concessions for their skill in combat. Honored Yautja, who are called 'Elites', are much like warriors, only they possess a higher level of combat skill. Elites, such as Gikvaris, are chosen to rear pups because they have mastered many skills, including but not limited to combat, and due to their experience and many years of satisfying hunts they are less aggressive." He smiled at me. "And infinitely impatient."

He paused to make sure I had no questions before continuing; no sign of being winded from all of the information he was spewing. "Then there are Elders who have endured thousands of hunts, but have become bored with the hunt itself. They are more disciplined and have more wisdom and so their expertise and level-headedness is continually sought by those in higher positions. Arbitrators are Elders who have also become bored with the hunt, having exhausted worthy prey, and have 'graduated', if you will, to the hunt of Bad-bloods: prey considered worthy only because they have broken Yautja law and have hunted forbidden prey or otherwise committed atrocities against their own kind. Arbitrators are also employed to handle clan disputes, but with great reservation. Their decisions are final and no amount of persuasion to appeal their decision will prevail.

"And then of course there are the Bad-bloods. Their name denotes their status. Their crimes range from killing unworthy prey; failure during a hunt and refusing to die with honor, choosing instead to live as a drifter; murder of other Yautja, oftentimes those of another clan. It is an Arbitrator's task to continually track this caste of rogue Yautja, offering to assist them in suicide to redeem their honor or to outright execute them if unwilling. And need I explain the role of a clan leader? In human terms, he is the undisputed king of his clan. This right is attained through bloodlines, though in very rare instances a Yautja can invoke the right to contend for a position as clan leader. If several trials are successfully passed the Yautja is permitted to start and lead his own clan."

I already knew most of the information V provided, but my question was a veiled one. One that would pave the way toward deeper understanding without the scrutiny.

"And these Arbitrators...They are below the Elders?"

"Rarely. There have been several exceptions, but the standard is that an Arbitrator is first an Elder. An Elder may offer suggestions as to a situation or its possible outcome, but they do not make decisions without a council of Elders or their clan leader. Once an Arbitrator is called in, the decision rests with him alone. This occurs when a clan leader cannot or will not make a decision and chooses instead to bring in a neutral party. Though a clan leader can veto an Arbitrator's decision, it is rarely done so that the finality of an Arbitrator's decision is maintained. If an issue is considered too sensitive or deemed a conflict of interest for the clan as a whole, an outside Arbitrator is summoned. This is also rare, but I have seen a rise in this practice over the years. Kch'lo, in fact, has been summoned by other clans on numerous occasions to settle disputes within the clan and once when two clans were at odds over exclusive rights to a preserve." V paused when Ayida walked into the room. She put up her hand apologetically, grabbed a bowl of naxa, and returned to one of the inner rooms.

V's information was feeding that sick obsession of mine that had reared its ugly head again. "Kch'lo is an Arbitrator...and so if he is as powerful as you say he is, why is he not expected to take a mate and continue breeding?" Feeling like I had revealed too much personal interest, I quickly added: "Kch'lo's pups may never become clan leaders, but isn't the whole point of being supremely ambitious to rise in rank, secure the most advantageous mate, and produce the strongest offspring?"

"Yes, but you are only privy to the observations of this clan. Normally the eldest born Yautja of a clan leader is the next in line. Kal'ar is a most honorable leader, but it was not his right by birth to take his Sire's place as clan leader. It was Kch'lo's own abdication that allowed Kal'ar to overstep the line of succession. Kch'lo has many pups, some older than Kal'ar. If Kal'ar should ever succumb to his injuries on a hunt, Kch'lo would undeniably be the next clan leader. If again unwilling, the right would pass onto his eldest pup."

As informative as this was, it was torturous that I had been lead to believe by others that Kal'ar and Kch'lo's capacity to rule as clan leader was based solely on morality and equability, not by personal choice. At least I could believe what V was telling me. He had no reason to lie or give me half-truths. His sole purpose was to inform and instruct. Nothing he said would benefit himself or anyone else.

I asked nothing more about the subject and was relieved to change the subject when V reminded me that he needed an answer as to my absence, not for himself but for Kal'ar. But fake a period? With the way my luck had been lately, I could certainly expect an examination from Vik'var'is to confirm my purported condition.

"Very tired," I said, trying to convince him by actually yawning.

"Perhaps we could have some bloodwork drawn to - "

"No, V. It's not that serious. I think my body is just catching up to all the training I've been doing these past few weeks." Eh. It had some truth to it.

V nodded before standing up. "Get some rest. I will come back for you later."

"For bloodwork? V, I told you - "

"Not bloodwork. At least not yet. But you must make an appearance tonight, even if only for a short while."

It was not a request. I imagined V would drag me out of this room by my hair just to make sure I quelled the whispers that had started on account of my self-imposed isolation. He was, after all, tasked with not only my learning but with grooming me as a clan leader's mate.

I sat on the floor below Ayida on the sofa while she combed through my hair with her fingers and worked thin, scattered braids throughout my hair. We were both killing time, dreading leaving the common room; I for seeing anyone other than Ayida or V, and Ayida because the sight of certain foods sent her stomach into an uproar as of late.

"Too bad c'nlip is off limits for you," I said. "One look at us and they'd send us right back here."

"Perhaps me, but not you. I think the elders secretly look forward to what you'll do with a little liquid courage in you." She snickered before finishing off a final braid. "All set." Admiring her handiwork, she added: "Maybe Kal'ar will even buy you a drink."

I huffed, sure that buying me a drink was the last thing on his mind. I was preparing myself for his hot, indignant glare, but to me this whole courting thing was a two way street. It hadn't escaped me that he had put a tracking device at the base of my skull so it wasn't as if he could pretend to be oblivious to my whereabouts. But the more highly I thought of myself in that context, the more I had to remind myself that it wasn't Kal'ar who needed me, but I, him. And needed him in the sense that one needed air to keep on breathing and living. As much as I wanted some alien species to pursue me through the depths of space in some wild, intergalactic romance, it was an all too sobering truth that I was just as easily discarded and replaced as soon as the thrill of the hunt went cold. And I was tired of continually being kept on my toes. I just wanted to get on with my life. Or rather what remained of it.

V opened the door but remained outside in the hall, an open invitation to join him. I stood up and took Ayida's hand to help her onto her feet. We both gave each other the look before joining V and following him down the hall toward the voices that grew louder the closer we came to the assembly hall. V opened the door and Ayida followed, but I was hesitant to go in after them. I was overwhelmed by anxiety and guilt, though conceivably I had done nothing wrong to anyone in that room. Starting to lose my nerve, I decided that in an effort to stave off an imminent panic attack it would be better for me to turn around. Enduring a bout of rage from Kal'ar or a stern chastisement from V would be worth my chickening out. And so I turned, prepared to run if V so much as even looked at me with those disapproving eyes of his.

"Ah, the ooman lives."

Having been in such a panic to get back to the common room I nearly stumbled into Kch'lo as I turned around. I let out a muted gasp and inched against the wall, nervously smoothing back my hair, suddenly conscious of an appearance I had long since forgotten about. How panicked and disheveled I must have looked; how awkward my putting distance between us as if avoiding him like the plague must have been.

His head was slightly cocked, curious of my peculiar behavior, but his shoulders weren't squared and his body wasn't tense. I imagine he found some sort of amusement in my reaction, though his voice lacked the customary trill indicating so.

"Is it as your je'mar has said?" He stood taller and turned his body toward me. "That you suffer from exhaustion?" He clicked. He was studying me. Obviously he didn't give much credit to my feigned fatigue as a reason to take up residence in the common room.

"Sei-i." Every time my eyes met his they immediately and impulsively found anything else to look at.

"There is nothing more relaxing than the company of prattling, pregnant females."

He was baiting me, but he couldn't possibly know that my brain was turning in so many different directions that I didn't have the will to sluff off his accusatory observation.

He stepped back to give me room to pass, but I was paralyzed.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"I will tell them you took ill, if you wish..."

I shook my head furiously. "No...I...I don't need to see the healer." I leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. I was being ridiculous. I would just walk into that room as self-conscious as I had always been and nothing bad would happen. It was only dinner. I could do this.

"As you wish." He clicked before continuing into the room.

I watched as his deep purple cloak trail behind him, fluttering in the wake of his purposeful steps. When he was out of sight I took a few more deep breaths before making my own entrance, trying to keep my eyes directly in front of me instead of darting back and forth to regard the attention my presence garnered. Though I could feel the intensity of their stares, I kept my focus on Ayida across the room who silently supported me while in the midst of my unease, thought I was doubtful she understood the reason for it.

Once I was sitting beside Ayida, my small, compressed world opened up and I could finally breathe again. To my own peril I eventually allowed my eyes to wander the room, not sure if I was crushed more that Kal'ar simply ignored me or that Dalani was sitting right beside him with her translator and her pet Elder.

"Why the fuck did I even come here?"

"What did you say?"

I looked over at Exia, horrified that my inside voice had actually escaped what should have been my carefully guarded lips.

I shook my head, casually dismissing her. I looked around the table and offered a few forced smiles to the girls, seeing nothing on their plates that interested me. I was anything but hungry. My stomach had become a jumble of kinks and knots and suddenly going to see Vik'var'is didn't seem like such a bad thing.

"Exia, are you okay? Your face...You look like you have seen a ghost."

I looked at Adela, the tall, blond Russian and smiled. "I'm okay. Just need some water."

She passed it to me, suspicious of my answer, but didn't press the issue before returning to her conversation with Rose.

"He's watching you." Ayida craned her neck toward the table across the room, careful not to outright stare at whoever she had noticed glancing my way.

"Kal'ar? How - "

"No..." Her brow furrowed. "The other one."

"Oh..."

But that could have been anyone, right?

"Why don't you just go talk to him?"

"The other one...?"

"No. Kal'ar. Just go plop down next to him and get it out. The tension is so thick...Well, you know the rest."

Ayida was right about the tension, just not about who it was between. Kal'ar was clearly indifferent to any perceived slight, but he sure knew how to send a message of just how unaffected he was by it. It was just another reason among the many I wasn't so sure anything I had done since arriving mattered in securing my position as his mate. My how the tables had turned and here was Dalani was just soaking it up like a toad basking in sunlight.

"Maybe tomorrow," I said. But I was lying to her and myself. I had zero intention of approaching Kal'ar about anything that had happened since the last time I was sitting at that table. It was only a few chairs down from where Kal'ar presently sat that my whole world came crashing down on me. Or maybe it had crashed long before then and it only took someone else to open my eyes to it.

I stayed as long as it would take for my appearance to be in any way meaningful before I grabbed V and crept over toward Kal'ar. Standing next to him, keenly aware that Dalani was practically eyeball fucking me, I gave a gentle bow to let him know I was retiring for the night.

"Will send for Exia later." His tone was flat. I honestly think his statement wasn't even directed at me, but V.

My mind scrambled to figure out a way of getting out of seeing him later, but every time my mouth moved to speak, I tripped over my words before deciding to say something else. Dalani's snickering didn't help either and finally Kal'ar had had enough.

"Exia ill?"

Finally. The word I was so desperate to hear a Yautja say instead of that hideous term 'sickly' they liked to throw around.

"Sei-i."

"She is still very fatigued from training," V said.

His eyes now boring into mine, Kal'ar said: "Will not need...strength...tonight."

The sublimity of his message was not lost on me. There was no way in hell I could do that tonight. Not with the cluster fuck of thoughts swirling around in my head. The last thing my already confused mind needed was another round of shimmying onto his bed and letting him have at it. Being so intimate with him was the last thing in the universe I actually wanted. At least not until I could get a handle on myself and all the ominous conclusions my mind kept jumping to.

"H'ko," I said softly.

The mere word had him bristling.

"Exia...suffering from ooman condition." I forced myself to keep looking at him, afraid if I looked away he would immediately call my bluff.

"Just one?" Dalani chuckled.

It took everything in my power not to pick up her plate and smash it over her head, but I didn't think Kal'ar would appreciate the gesture considering my having told him 'no' was far more serious than Dalani's usual mockery.

"V, tell him. I don't know how to say it."

V stared at my blankly.

"Thwei." Seeing that Kal'ar was still drawing a blank I continued to search for the words that would convey my meaning. "Thwei...cycle." Blood cycle. I guess that made sense. Sure as shit had to at this point.

V moved as if to rebut what I had just said but I shot him one of the deadliest side glares I could cunjur to keep him from doing so.

"Sei-i." Kal'ar moved his hand to dismiss me and I didn't wait around for him to scrutinize me further.

As I quickly left the room I glanced over at Kch'lo. He clicked his mandibles, emitting a low trill as I passed by.

Yeah. His bullshit radar was good. Damn good.

Author's Response to reviews:

Vivida - Glad you are enjoying...Hang in there...its going there.

shellly.c - thank you! I didn't want to rush this with too much information and plots at once. Have you ever read The Historian? So much information in one chapter I forget what the hell they even said about it by the next chapter.

JunogawaKing - thank you so much, that really means a lot since there are like thousands out there! Thank you xo!

Guest - Wish I could personally give you a shout out (as in name), but thank you for the kind words. & you hit the nail on the head with the "Me Yautja, you Jane stuff" comment because that is exactly what I didn't want.

FutureEnchantments - I wanted to make Kal'ar morally appealing, so to speak, but I'm a sucker for a dark soul. Its why I secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) root for the villains in almost everything.

write more sooon - I seriously cant tell you how happy I am when I check my reviews and you have left one! If I ever post a new chapter and your name is missing in the reviews, it will seriously throw a monkey wrench in my day. And I like how you just cut to the chase - "write more soon". Says it all, doesn't it?

Guest - I wish I could give you a personal shout out (as in name), but hopefully you're reading this and know that this reply is in response to your review. I am glad you are liking the brother, because he'll be around much more. That being said, I absolutely detest a main character that doesn't face struggle and conflict...because how can we relate to a perfect, nothing-ever-bad-happens-to-me character when there is no one on the face of the earth so lucky? Or maybe I'm the only one that unlucky, ha! Thank you for your encouragement, and I hope the coming chapters satisfy!

Chromaticism - Not wrong at all... In the 1989 movie, Red Riding Hood, all I wanted was for Lady Jean to snap the hell out of it and get with the totally evil twin, Godfrey or for the good twin to actually be dead so that she didn't have much of a choice. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks along these lines!