"Oi! Wake up!"

Mmmn… Five more minutes…

"Permhead wake up! Oi!"

Shut up. I said five more minutes…

"OI! Is your perm getting to your brain or something? Can you not hear me through that perm of yours?!"

Okay! That crosses the line! No one gets away with insulting my perm like that! Who the heck is this bastard anyways—he thinks he can insult my perm!

I jump up with my eyes snapping open. The first thing I do is furrow my eyebrows and glare at the person who dares wake me up. Serious dark blue-grey eyes come into view along with straight back locks. Ahh—it's Hijikata. But why?

I squint one eye in puzzlement, "Oi, oi." I scratch my head with my left hand. "What are you doing in my bed, Oogushi-kun?"

Hijikata's eyebrows are furrowed when it twitches. "What are you talking about? You are the one in my bed! And stop calling me Oogushi-kun!"

Huh. I blink before examining the bed and the room. It was true. The room—the bed were completely foreign to me. The bed may be a futon, but the pillow felt less plush than my own and the blanket was not my light blue one, but a dark indigo one. The ceiling may seem to be the same as my room, but the closet wasn't in the same place as mine, and the room was furnished with dark brown wooden furniture.

I jerk up my right arm to stretch, but something restrains me.

Clink!

Oi, oi. You've got to be kidding me.

My eyes widen in shock as my eyes slowly slide down to see it. Yes—it. It as in pink furry handcuffs.

I find myself blinking once again, my mouth agape as I move my gaze from the opposing pink handcuffs and Mayora's unamused face. "This…" I lift my right arm to have the handcuffs jingle. "… wouldn't happen to be one of your hobbies would it…?"

Mayora's face distorts. "You're the sadist. I thought it would be yours." He sighs and scratches his hair. "Man… I want to take a shower…"

"Oi! Oi! You aren't taking a shower as long as I'm strapped to you! Cough up the key you tax robber!"

Hijikata glares at the crude pink bond. "I would if I had it, but I don't." he raises an eyebrow at me. "Do you remember how we even got stuck in this situation in the first place?"

I shut my eyes and furrow my eyebrows, thinking hard. What did happen…?

Let's see… Last night I was sitting at the dining table reading Jump…

"Oi, Gintoki."Wait a minute—who else was there… "Do you want some Yakult?"

That's right! The one there at that time was Takasugi! Don't tell me he—!

That damn gay emo shortie!

My eyes and mouth twitch in annoyance. I let out an exasperated sigh and rest my head on my left hand. "It was that damn gay emo shortie, Takasugi! He must have put something in that Yakult! Aagh! I should have known something was up when he offered me his Yakult!"

"Now that I think about it… Last night Takasugi gave me some Yakult…" Hijikata suddenly stands up, pulling Gintoki up with him. "Come on, let's get him to take these damn things off." He strides to the door, dragging me along as we make our way across the hall to Takasugi's room.

He knocks on the door three times. "Oi! Takasugi! Open the door!" There was no response but silence. Hijikata knocks again, "Oi! Takasugi!"

Impatient to get these furry damn handcuffs off, I pound the door with my free fist. "OI! YOU SHORTIE—Open the door this instant! You hear me emo-boy!"

No one responds. I swear I can hear crickets and it's day! Aggh! I can't take this any longer! I put my hand on the doorknob, twist it, and charge into the room.

I froze at the sight of the empty room as Hijikata enters. He pulls on the chain of the handcuffs, waking me from my petrification. "Let's search for the key." He suggests.

I sigh, "Takasugi wouldn't leave the key in his room, he probably has already predicted all of this." I start waltzing out the door. "We should just ask Zenzou to unlock it. He probably knows how to pick locks."

The two of us trek down the stairs and rush into the first-floor hallway. I ran straight to the bathroom door and began knocking on it, screaming."Oi! Hemorrhoids! Get out of the bathroom!"

From beside me, Hijikata shouts at the door. "Zenzou! We need your help!"

Again, there was no response. That is until we heard a sudden shout from inside the bathroom—and the voice definitely wasn't of the sneaky ninja teacher.

"It's not 'Hemorrhoids' or 'Zenzou'! It's—" the door slams open, "Katsura!—" Out from the stall which usually holds Zenzou, comes the long-haired freak.

My face pales as I feel my mouth drop agape. Then, a vein pops. I kick the long-haired freak down and continue to stomp on the idiot. "WHY IS IT YOU?!"

"Ahh—well I got a sudden urge of the runs so I rushed to the nearest bathroom. Tehe!~" Zura taps his head lightly as if trying to act cute, but was only succeeding in acting gross.

Mayora and I sigh in exhaustion. Hijikata buries his head into his right hand. "Damn it! Why wasn't it at least someone useful?"

You said it! Why did it have to be Zura of all people?! He is the most useless out of everyone we could have run into! Even the Gorilla is better than him! Wait… actually, no—he is probably better than Sakamoto though.

"Useful?" Zura blinks his chestnut eyes, tilting his head slightly in question. He then scans Hijikata and me before his eyes land on the damn annoying toy handcuffs. He gasps. "Gintoki! I never thought you would actually invest into your SM play with Hijikata-san! I must say your tastes are—"

"Oi! Oi! Stop right there!" I interject. I raise my right arm, pulling Hijikata's left arm subsequently. "It was your boyfriend that did this to us!"

"Eh? My boyfriend?" He tilts his head once again. "Who is that?"

Uughh… I feel myself get even more exhausted and let out a large sigh. Mayora beside me tugs down on his left arm, catching my attention. He leans over to whisper in my ear, "His boyfriend?"

I lean into him and whisper. "Our good friend Takasugi." We both lean away from each other as he nods slowly.

"Anyways, Katsura, do you happen to know how to open these?" Hijikata turns to the long-haired freak raising the handcuffs on exhibit.

"Mmmmnnn…" Zura places a hand under his chin and his other hand under the elbow. He furrows his eyebrows and tilts them. Then, abruptly, he moves his hands so one fist lands on the other as if he was having a light bulb moment. "Ahh! I know someone who can unlock that!"

I blink in surprise. "You do…?"

And that is how it ended up in our house… or should I say 'he'?

He was fairly tall—at least taller than that emo-shortie. He wore an oversized white hoodie, keeping his hood on which covers half of his face. On the hood are two big eyes with three eyelashes on each and a yellow duck beak, forming a face. There is a big pocket at the bottom and on the openings of it, there are yellow duck feet. From the inside of the hood, dirty blonde locks of hair dangle out freely and slightly wavy. His mouth is covered by a yellow turtleneck and his arms tucked into his sweater pocket.

Who the hell it this?!

"Gintoki, Hijikata-san, meet my assistant Elizabeth." Zura motions towards the man, before turning around to motion towards us. "Elizabeth, meet Gintoki and Hijikata-san."

I find my eyes twitching as I stare straight into the eyes on the hoodie, Hijikata mirroring my expression. Suddenly, this Elizabeth pulls out a white signboard. [Hello, it is nice to meet you. I am Elizabeth.]

Where the hell did he get that sign board from?! How does that even fit in there?! And what do I do now? I don't know what to say! I feel myself pale as cold sweat forms on the back of my neck. Hijikata is the first to react, as he reaches out his free right hand. Elizabeth takes his hand and they shake them. "I'm Hijikata." Mayora turns to me giving me an expression that reads, 'Let's just hurry and get this done with!' as he lets go of the other man's hand.

"I'm Gintoki." I introduce myself to Elizabeth.

The man nods before Zura informs him of the situation. "Can you unlock the toy for them, Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth nods, then from his pocket he takes out a lock-pick kit.

Again, how does he fit that in there?!

He then pulls out another signboard. [This will be quick since it's a toy.] Elizabeth then kneels down and gets to work on the handcuffs, and in just a few minutes, I was released from reliving that torture! The pink furry toy fell to the ground with a clatter.

I rub my right wrist soothing the skin with a smile of relief spread across my face. Hijikata did the same with a sigh. Zura laughs in the background. "Ahahaha! Aren't you glad that you found me now! Ahaha!" He turns to his assistant. "Elizabeth here has many talents, and is the very key to Joui! Ahahaha!" Wow… so corny… "You get it? He is the very key that unlocks—"

Aggh! This guy is annoying! I can feel my face darken, matching the blackness of my heart at the moment. Without glancing back at the other two, I know that they are just as pissed off as I am at the long-haired moron.

And that's how Zura's fate was decided.

"Hahahahahah!—Uwah!" That super annoying laugh turns into a girly shriek, as Hijikata and I begin to pick him up by the head and his legs. We then rush upstairs with the sound of Elizabeth's own thundering steps behind us. I slam the door leading to Takasugi's room open, as Hijikata shoves Zura inside and Elizabeth follows while twirling the previous bonding Mayora and me pink furry handcuffs. With a push, Zura is sprawled out on Takasugi's bed.

"Wha—!" Zura shrieks in shock.

I step aside along with Hijikata-kun, letting a clear path for Elizabeth. Elizabeth attacks, he steps forward leaning over Zura, roughly grabbing his left wrist. He pulls Zura's wrist over to the bed frame's farthest corner and straps one of the furry pink cuffs to it. Then, he binds Zura with the other cuff. Afterward, he steps back to stand among me and Hijikata-kun.

"Umm… Guys…? We're friends right…?!" Zura sweats.

My face distorts as I feel my sadist switch flip. I turn around to Elizabeth, "Oi, can you do something for me?"

The hooded man pulls out a sign board. [What is it?]

I couldn't help but smirk.

When I returned home I was welcomed by the sight of Gintoki and Hijikata sitting on the couch. They seemed to have escaped my little revenge plot from this morning already. They had the most creepy smiles spread on their faces as they eyed me. I feel my right eye twitch at their odd behavior, a bad feeling crawling into my skin.

"Takasugi~" Gintoki rises and sways closer to me, and with that smile, it was closer than I was comfortable with. In response, I raise an eyebrow at the silver permed man. He slings and arm over my shoulder, "You know we just really loved that gift you gave us. Right, Hijikata-kun~" He tilts his head to the smoking man on the couch.

Hijikata tilts his head to face me, pulling out his cigarette, and blowing out his drag. "Yeah. It was a bunch of fun." His glare and sarcastic tone were telling me otherwise.

Gintoki continues breathing down my neck. "That's why we left you a gift!" He then slides away from me, returning to his spot beside Hijikata. "It's in your room."

My room…? A present…

…

Oh god.

In and instant, I rush up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door open. I quickly scan the room, looking for the damage.

And that's when my eyes landed on the bed.

There he was, sprawled on my gray sheets. His long black hair looked shiny and silky and his chestnut eyes were wide and his lips were agape, a bit of drool was dribbling down his mouth. Cute… -No! No! No! You can't be thinking of this now!

I continue to examine Katsura, my eyes sliding down his figure. Then, my eyes stop at the sight of something out of place. Yes—definitely out of place. Red lipstick was left on his pale collarbone.

A kiss mark?!

I then spot the card right next to his sleeping figure. Picking it up, I read out loud. "Thanks for the good time… Elizabeth?"

In an instant of fury, I crumple the note and throw it behind me. The words haunt my mind over and over again, as I replay them. I feel my body run cold at the thoughts that filled my head, but the most chilling of all was the thought:

What is this Elizabeth to Katsura?!