First I have to address the fact that I have amazing readers and I'm so grateful for all of your reviews. I'm still trying to catch up. Also, thank you all for being so patient! I hate long breaks between updates so I can't imagine as a reader how it must feel. I'm struggling with my writing while being sick. I think I'm more critical of it and so I'm not completely confident with this chapter. These next two chapters are probably the most important because it sets up the entire rest of the story. The lemon might not be what you were expecting but it serves a purpose and it's how I originally envisioned it. This is an AU story. Ana isn't a virgin although she is sexually inexperienced and Christian's birth mother didn't die which will become a factor later on in the story. Enjoy. I'm sorry for the mistakes. I will most likely edit the last two chapters in the future and I will let you know when I do. Thank you again for being so patient and loving the story as you guys do!

Chapter 9

As Ana closed the door, she shut her eyes and bathed in the excitement she felt, the undiluted happiness. Of course there were always the peripheral hazard lights flashing but they weren't near so bright tonight and she for once felt it all with no internal debate or conflict. And it felt good.

"You're smiling."

Ana jumped at the sound of Ruth's voice, tearing her from her reverie. It was true. She could feel the stretch of her cheeks and the wrinkle of her eyes.

"It was a good trip." She managed calmly through the surge of energy pumping through her. "He's not so bad." She added with a shrug as Ruth's studying expression turned skeptical.

"I'm glad. I was worried." Ruth spoke with her usual warm and comforting voice before pulling her in for a hug. "This house feels way too big without you. I don't know how we're going to do it once you're gone." Ana's shoulders relaxed into the embrace. Ruth felt more like home than the walls housing her now.

"I don't know what I'm going to do not being here." She whispered back as the crushing weight of her impending complete independence hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Where's Dad?" Ruth's face slightly changed at the question but Ana refused to read into it much.

"He's upstairs in his room. He's probably asleep by now."

"I'll go up anyway." Ruth just nodded as she ascended the stairs. As much as she loved her home, the cabin existed as an immediate escape. Death didn't taint those walls and it was still a much lingering palpable feeling in their house already forcing her good mood to descend.

"Dad." Knocking on the door as she opened it, Ana felt her shoulders sag at the sight of her father. The room reeked of whiskey as he lay asleep on the bed surrounded by photos. The tumbler on the night stand looked freshly filled but neglected and she had to wonder which number that refill was. Ana approached slowly and sadly. That familiar oncoming feeling of tears burned through her but she held off. She was so sick of feeling defeated by loss. As always she compartmentalized all of it involving her mother's death. She refused to acknowledge the pictures scattered across the bed as she shuffled them into piles and moved them to their boxes. His face as he slept lacked any content expression. Large lines worked their way onto his forehead as if he was just as upset as she felt. Ana brushed the hair from his face and sighed. She just couldn't see any way to save both the home and him and she suddenly wasn't sure if the house was worth it. Looking around her parent's bedroom and then back to her father, she felt her soul age with weariness. Maybe the home was more damaging than the saving grace she imagined it to be.

Ana left after draping a blanket over her father hating that her feelings were all over the emotional grid. As she fell back into her bed she wished for the cabin. Having Christian wrapped around her felt safe and different. He was her escape and he didn't even know it. She took out her phone and read through all of Daniel's messages. Sighing, she wished she could just ignore him now but she wasn't that type of person. In the morning she'd compose a text telling him they couldn't communicate anymore. As much as she felt like an idiot, her demands of Christian required the same effort from her.

It took her four hours to get to sleep and then she heard her phone ringing. Sleepily she scanned her bedside table until she gripped the vibrating monster. Wincing at the light she groaned at the 2 am time.

"Hey." She answered resting the phone on her ear and closing her eyes.

"Did I wake you?" Christian's voice, despite the time, sounded perfect and much needed.

"It's okay. Is everything alright?"

"Just can't sleep." He grunted back.

"Anything I can do?"

"Come over." He demanded and Ana smiled tiredly.

"Come pick me up. You'll have to carry me downstairs probably."

"If we get downstairs."

"My dad's room is just down the hall."

"I'll gag you."

"Christian!"

"What?"

"You are such a man."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Ana laughed, changing position in bed to get more comfortable for what she now realized would be a long conversation.

"You should but seriously what's keeping you up?"

"Just stuff."

"Work stuff?"

"There's always work stuff." God, it was damn near impossible to get him to open up.

"Where are you?"

"In my office."

"Well that's the first problem. Go get in bed." She heard the slide of his chair against the floor and his footsteps as he moved. A sharp thud rang through the phone as he set the phone down. She imagined him getting undressed, his muscles undulating with each movement.

Oh good lord Ana.

She heard the shuffling of his blankets as he slid into bed making her smile. Yes, she wished she was there tight against his body even with his loud snoring.

"Are you in bed?"

"Yes."

"Do you want a bedtime story?"

"Is it dirty?"

She smiled but began to tell him the story of Lorenzo Ghiberti, a renaissance sculptor tasked to design a set of bronze doors for the Cathedral of Florence. It was a story she figured he hadn't heard before but also one that might put her to sleep before him. She was hoping for the latter and won when his breathing grew rhythmic and deep on the other line.

Ana woke up exhausted her body aching and her mood dim for the day. Something just didn't feel right. Danielle had emailed her schedule for the week which was insanely busy. She had four charity luncheons, two dinners, her bridal shower and dress fitting. All that registered though, were the amount of dresses she'd have to buy and how much money she didn't have to spare. Walking to her studio, she went through the last of her paintings she had left; the ones she refused to sell over the years despite her gallery owner begging for them. This time she'd sell on her Etsy shop. The prices weren't near what she'd receive from the gallery but Etsy sold faster and she had the money to cover herself for a good three weeks if she budgeted correctly. God, here she was a month and a half away from marrying a billionaire and she could barely afford new dresses but she refused to ask Christian for money. Proving him right about women remained on her better-not list. But these paintings, these were special. They were all of her and her mother. They were dreams she had to connect to a canvas before she lost them. During chemo, they saved her and they gave her hope. All of the paintings exuded the intimacy between a mother and a child. None were portraits. She painted one with her mother sitting on a rock with her fingers threading through Ana's hair. Another had them walking hand in hand through a passage of tree's with Ana's head turned towards her and slightly upturned representing a child's idolization of their parent. She kept the trail never-ending to symbolize a child's trust for their parent to lead. Refusing to linger any longer because she knew she'd change her mind if she did, she retrieved her camera and photographed them for the website. The faster she finished, the faster she could forget…everything.

Seattle's weather seemed to coexist peacefully with her black pumps as she walked with Ruth to the waiting Limo. It hadn't even made a full stop before Mia jumped out and dashed towards her. Ana took a breath and braced herself for Mia's impact. With an excited scream ringing in her ears, Mia's arms tightened around her, her words a jumbled mix of nice to meet you and he did good comments. As Mia's happiness became infectious, Ana felt her spirit lift from that weird dreary place she had yet to identify.

The loft they ascended to bore all the signs of Seattle's modern architecture sweeping through most of the city. Sustainable design echoed throughout with the potential of brilliant natural lighting with floor to ceiling windows scanning the entire living room and kitchen. The young designer Christian's people picked scuttled out with rolls of fabric tucked under her arm and glasses perched on top of her head almost lost in her black curly hair.

"Hi! I'm so glad you are all here. I'm Sarah Millen." She ushered Ruth, Mia, and Grace into chairs set up in front of the three way mirror. An assistant brought champagne over along with chocolate covered strawberries and raisin scones.

"Is this your mother?" Sarah asked pointing to Ruth and that depressing ghost emerged with full clarity.

"Um no. My mother passed. This is a close family friend and Christian's mother Grace and his sister Mia. She is my maid of honor."

"Oh my gosh. I am so sorry. I knew that." Sarah's cheeks were the color of the tomato red fabric she had pulled out earlier.

"Don't worry about it. It's fine. Do I follow you now?" Ana asked praying to change the course of conversation. Sarah nodded like a bobble head and Ana couldn't wait until they were alone so she could calm the poor designer. She followed her into what was obviously her sewing room. It reminded her so much of her Art space with inspiration tacked to the walls everywhere. Color and patterns decorated the walls more than the gold paint did.

Ana had no idea what the dress looked like. She'd never been consulted and she knew it was per Christian's instructions prior to the cabin but what could she do now. They were a month and a half out and she wasn't about to demand they construct a new dress. In all honesty, she always planned to wear her mother's. One night in bed, her and her mother planned her entire wedding although both of them thought it would be years. Ana also asked her mother simply because at that point it was obvious she wouldn't be present for it.

"Okay, if you can undress, I have your undergarments here and the shoes so once you have them on we'll slip your dress on." Ana nodded knowing her voice contained too much evidence of her teetering break down and Sarah simply didn't need more anxiety than what she wore on her fear stricken face.

As she stepped into the small fitting room, her nerves were thinning. She stripped quickly to try and beat the chill creeping up her spine. The tears hit before she could control them and her hand struck the wall as she bent over at the waist almost gagging on the restraint she enforced. God, none of this was right. Her mother should be here. And then guilt smothered her. Her mother was in a much better place. The last months almost made her nauseous to recall. Her mother groaned in pain just with touch, and she screamed in agony when they repositioned her. Ana clenched her eyes shut and slid down the wall.

"Miss Steele, are you ready?"

"Can you give me a couple minutes please?" She murmured allowing her head to fall back against the wall.

One Mississippi.

Deep breath.

Two Mississippi.

Exhale.

Ana repeated the process until she got to thirty finally feeling her anxiety go back to the room she often locked it in. Standing up, she could feel herself develop a tolerant demeanor for the entire day. A mask fitted itself to her as she pulled on a smile and stepped out of the room.

"I'm ready."

The dress fit her perfectly, every curve of her figure stood out with the mermaid silhouette but it wasn't her style. The tulle protruding at the bottom gave the figure flair and the ruching throughout the waist offered details to break up the simple white gown. Grace, Mia and Ruth all cried when she stepped out in it and even Sarah relaxed with their reactions. She truly couldn't complain. The dress was beautiful and she looked beautiful in it and that was all there was to that.

After the fitting, they visited one of Christian's restaurants for lunch and Mia demanded she shop with her which felt more like a four hour marathon before they parted ways. The sky began to darken as the blue merged to the colors preceding the sunset. She grabbed her phone and dialed.

"Hello." Christian answered as she settled on a park bench.

"Hi."

"You sound weird. Is everything okay? Did the fitting not go well?"

"Everything went fine. What are you doing?"

"Just finished my last meeting for the day but I have contracts to go over for a while. Why don't you head over and we'll head to my place from here. Are you sure everything's okay?"

"I'm sure. I'll see you soon."

Christian stood as she walked in immediately pulling her in for a kiss that silenced everything. He pulled away studying her face with a drawn brow and she waited to see if he would pursue the issue but he didn't.

"Want something to drink?"

"Whatever you have." She replied making sure to smile because he looked even more skeptical at her than he sounded on the phone. He handed her a tumbler of whiskey which she couldn't decide whether to laugh at or feel sad about. It reminded her too much of her father's current ways to numb his pain. As Christian returned to his desk, Ana held the whiskey in her hand relishing the sharp taste that burned down her throat. She listened to Christian type and watched the people outside of his office get ready to leave.

"You have a weird ratio of blondes to brunettes. Should I be worried?" Ana commented playfully hearing his typing stop and his chair roll back. His scent encompassed her before his presence did. He snaked an arm around her waist and stole her drink from her taking a long swallow before answering. His breath was hot against her neck sending a vivid tingle everywhere.

"I only have eyes for you." He answered making her smile.

"You have eyes for all beauty Christian." She replied turning around and studying the handsome face of her fiancé. "Whether it is aesthetic of a woman, nature, or architecture."

"Spoken like a true artist."

"This is what I care about." She spoke firmly as she placed her hand on his chest at his heart. "These are mine." She stated as she pressed her lips to his. His hands jerked her against him and he was hard, extremely hard, against her. "That is mine." She whispered with a smirk drawing a groan from Christian.

His office door flew open behind her with Andrea a mess of apologies while another woman looked ready to murder if she had to.

"I'm sorry Sir but she stormed in here. I have security on their way up." Andrea rambled and by the look of fear on her face Ana thought she might pass out.

"Out." Christian yelled to Andrea who closed the door with shaky hands and a desperation one could almost taste. The impeccably dressed blonde haired woman just stared her down with her narrowed dark brown eyes. Personally they lacked any true emotion and that in itself put her guard up. Christian approached her like a lion approached its prey. His stride shifted effortlessly yet so domineering that even Ana stepped back. Covering the woman from her view, Ana waited nervously in anticipation for some blowout.

"Get out." He hissed at her but she didn't move.

"You refused my offer. Do you not think I'm serious when I say I will take this to court?"

It was then Ana realized who the woman was and her anger traveled quickly along with her extreme need to protect Christian. Since his confession, she thought long and hard what she would tell the woman if she were ever confronted and suddenly Ana felt like playing the game.

"Christian, please formerly introduce us." Ana rang out melodically void of anything but complete calm and lack of fear for the situation.

"Like he's told you about me." The blonde quipped back.

"He has. What kind of relationship do you think we have?" She retorted as she felt Christian watching her.

"Ana this is Elena. Elena, Ana." Christian bit out before heading back over to his desk and leaning against it. There was a rush that attacked her because he trusted her enough to let her continue.

"I would say it's a pleasure but it's not."

"Likewise."

"Do you know what they're calling me in the press?" Ana asked watching Elena's face morph to confusion.

"I don't particularly care."

"Well, you should. They call me Seattle's sweetheart. Next year I have over fifty appearances scheduled with local programming and radio stations not to mention the charity dinners that I have to speak at along with three local magazine interviews. And if you bring your false allegations to light, who do you think the entire city of Seattle will side with? The woman with no proof attacking a loving marriage and a pillar of the community who is also the largest donor for the Seattle Police Force, Fire department, and every college in the entire city. If you think this will hurt our reputation, you better be damned prepared for it destroying yours because I will make sure of it. There will be no money and if I see you step foot in this building again or approach my Fiancé I will file a restraining order and I will make it public knowledge and ruin your entire reputation." Elena's face paled and as much as Ana hated to be a bitch it was extremely validating. Christian waved security in before standing and pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I'm glad I introduced you both."

"I can escort myself out." Elena spat out but security followed her every step of the way and as soon as the door shut Christian had her against his bookcase.

"Christian." She laughed out when he finally let her up for air. His eyes bore into hers with so much gratitude that time almost stilled for her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Let's go." He ordered ushering a squeal from her as he rushed her from his office. The car ride and elevator ride was filled with insane sexual tension and Ana had to remind herself to quit smiling alas she look like a teenager. But every time she listened to herself, Christian would squeeze her hand and draw one from her which made her even more embarrassed. He loved the power though. That was obvious.

His apartment at Escala left her drooling throughout the entire tour. Art that altogether probably cost more than the damn place was everywhere. The white walls reminded her of a gallery allowing the art to be the showcase. The décor was a mixture of modern and industrial pieces while the architecture mimicked the same feel. She followed him into the kitchen where he poured her a glass of wine and she sat at the bar watching him rifle through the cabinets.

"Are you going to cook for me?" She asked watching him remove plates and silverware.

"I ordered dinner for us." And that he did. Parmesan crusted filet mignon, mashed potatoes, and sautéed green beans were delivered a half hour later. Christian set the table for them both before ushering her over. They talked about art, debating the change of mid nineteenth century art to that of the end of the twentieth century. And surprisingly they agreed that modern art despite that it no longer exactly speaks for itself still remained Art in the sense that it still made you feel something. She had to admit she was surprised considering his overwhelming collection of renaissance pieces.

Christian wouldn't allow her to clean so she sat perched on the countertop watching him try to figure out the dishwasher.

"I can feel you smiling." He growled at her as he rearranged the bowls and glasses for the fifth time.

"I'm amused."

"HA!" He yelled with a loud clap and a look of undiluted pride. "Fit everyone in there."

"I never doubted you for a second."

He shut the dishwasher and turned it on before moving in front of her. Setting down the wine glass, she snaked her arms around his waist.

"Thanks for dinner and the lively conversation."

"Stay with me tonight." He demanded and she knew there was nothing in that statement to make it a question. Ana let her lips linger over his before breathing an okay. She kissed him softly at first before letting her tongue tease his lips open. He was surprisingly submissive and they had never kissed this way. His shoulders grew tense as she traced a finger over his temple and cheek. With her speed unhurried, she allowed herself to just explore the intimacy between them. Sex didn't define their kiss and that she thought was the issue that forced Christian to pull away. The loss of his heat surrounding her was more frustrating than anything. His ability to change moods in a split second always kept her exhaustedly on her feet just waiting…always waiting for the next transition.

"Let's go to bed." He pulled her from the counter and Ana followed him to the bedroom. His mood had completely changed going from fire to ice in a matter of seconds and it wasn't at all what she expected. If anything she relied on his domineering personality to take her on the counter where they were. Now he barely touched her throwing one of his shirts at her to change into.

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine." He answered disappearing into the bathroom and she heard the shower turn on. Ana debated joining him but thought against it. Being rejected once was enough for her tonight. She texted her father and Ruth telling them about her plans before curling up in Christian's bed. The four post king sized bed, she knew must have been custom made and the white comforter cooled her entire body as she waited for her body to adjust. She shut off the light and closed her eyes praying that sleep found her before Christian did but her head had other thoughts. A million actually. She heard Christian emerge from the bathroom and Ana felt the bed shift with his weight as he climbed in. Time seemed to drag on forever as she struggled to fall asleep. Finally, she felt his arm snake under her shoulder and pull her against him. Neither of them spoke but it wasn't soon after that they both fell asleep.

Ana woke alone with a note from Christian saying that he left for work early. She lay in the silence for as long as her head could handle it. Throwing the blankets off her, she quickly got dressed and escaped to her apartment for the day. She painted the entire day away and much of what she did paint was darker than anything she had ever done before. But there was no bottom, no end, for her frustration and pain. It bled onto a canvas with almost no relief in turn. By the end of the day, she collapsed onto the floor feeling empty and completely lost. Grabbing her keys, she drove to Escala. Christian hadn't called all day and she needed an explanation. She needed something grounding, something she could at least hold on to and work with because silence never worked for her.

Ana stepped out of the elevator and rounded the corner of the entryway her body already alert of Christian's proximity. Instantly the heat chilled when she saw Christian standing with the same women he subjected her to the night of the first event. The betrayal hit her hard taking the air from her lungs and the anxiety teasing her with short breaths. Christian's eyes flipped to hers and when his face hardened it made rage replace her hurt and rage was a much more bearable emotion than pain. He was upset with her? Taylor walked in almost pale as if he knew his attempts to warn Christian of her arrival came too late.

"Get her out." Ana heard herself demand as the anger almost separated her into two different people. No one moved but the brunette who had the nerve to smirk at her. "Now!"

Taylor approached her quickly and the shock of the brunette gave her some consolation. At least she wasn't the only one that thought she meant more to him than the reality they were both just presented with. Christian watched almost detached which pissed her off even more. After some dramatic screeching and cursing, the elevator door silenced everything leaving a palpable tension between her and Christian.

"Are you going to explain yourself?" She bit out summoning her restraint desperately.

"I shouldn't have to explain myself. You're supposed to call before you come over." Christian replied leaving the kitchen and disappearing down a hallway.

Restraint. Snapped.

Ana followed him feeling her blood boiling hotter with each step she took. It wasn't until he crossed the threshold into his room that he turned around realizing she hadn't left. Ana slapped him; the decision consciously reached but uncontrollably given. Her palm met his cheek with a painful sting, one that seemed to snap her out of red rage. Pulling her trembling hand back, she covered her mouth.

"Oh my God." She shakily breathed reaching out to his face before realizing the action was probably offensive now. "I-I-I'm so sorry. I've never done that be-" Before she could finish, he had her pinned against his bedroom wall, his face so close she could only stare at the red stain she left on him. Her vision grew blurry.

"Don't ever hit me again." He spat at her, his eyes darker than she'd ever seen them and she could only nod in acquiescence. Then he attacked her mouth with punishing force. Ana's hands moved to his chest eager to push him away but he pressed himself against her harder and some of her resistance fluttered away when his tongue moved against hers. His hips undulated against hers drawing heat and need from her like a wanton woman. There was something so inebriating with this kiss but she had no doubts, he was punishing her. Sex, she realized was a form of power and control for him. With every movement of his tongue, she felt his hand graze her thigh teasing her to spread her legs wider. On some conscious level, she recognized the manipulation but the rest of her didn't care. The rest of her reveled in the desire he summoned as he moved her panties over and drove into her with his fingers. She needed the release as desperately as he wanted it.

With one hand he drug both her hands above her head pinning them in place. With frustration, she bit his lip as he kissed her which forced a growl from him. Christian became all encompassing. His scent strangled her senses, his fingers expertly fucked her, and he barely let her breathe while taking her mouth. God, she wanted to touch him, to take his hair between her fingers and clench tight with her desperation. Abruptly, he grabbed her waist and threw her on the bed, pressing hard on her back when she tried to turn over.

"No." He growled, slapping her thighs to separate them. "Ass up Ana." He ordered with authority that both made her shiver and fear him at the same time. But she did as she was told. Truth was, she was on a rabid chase for her release. He set her wheels in motion and removed any brake even though she knew this wasn't romantic. It wasn't her idea or what she fantasized about for their first time. He was using her, making his power known, and clinging to his control. Later, she'd feel the pain of this but not now.

The sound of his zipper descending made her head lax with relief. She needed him. Plastic ripping followed quickly and Ana prepared herself. She spread her legs wider for him not allowing herself to feel the humiliation slowly creeping over her. His amusement was almost tangible as he scoffed at her attempts.

Slowly she felt the intrusion but not of his cock but his fingers again.

"I want you to beg." He whispered harshly into her ear, his finger massaging her g-spot with torturous precision. His other hand grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked her head to the side when she refused to respond.

"Beg."

Ana hated how he reduced her but she despised how willing she was to comply. Surely he'd notice. His movements would turn tender and he'd take her on her back so she could wrap her arms around him. But nothing changed. He continually brought her to the brink of orgasm only to steal away any relief and it wasn't until her cheeks were wet with tears that she gave up.

"Please." She pleaded in a voice she barely recognized.

"Please what Ana?"

"Please fuck me."

"That's a good girl." He replied with a slap to her ass that no doubt was meant more to be degrading than a compliment.

His first drive wasn't gentle but at some point she'd given up on that notion. And Ana didn't want gentle. If he wanted to dominate and own her, fine but she was in charge of her orgasm now. As he leaned over her, she curled her arm around his neck and drove herself against him. Christian hissed as she dug her fingernails into his neck.

"Harder." She groaned as he plowed into her, their skin slapping hard enough to sting. Ana undulated her hips driving herself hard against him.

"God damnit Ana!"

Sweat dripped from Christian and ran down her neck as she held him against her but he let her. Ana impaled herself on his cock until she stole her orgasm he undoubtedly wanted control over. Her body felt on the verge the entire time and when it finally hit, it felt like an explosion in her body. Every atom felt like it dematerialized and suddenly returned to its state with a crushing and overwhelming meeting. Her scream echoed and she knew she drew blood when she ripped her hand from Christian's neck.

"Fuck!" He yelled shocked at his own release but in full appreciation of it. He bit her shoulder as he rode out his high and it sent aftershocks through her forcing another orgasm from her. Christian throbbed inside her, his hands holding her hips so hard she thought they might shatter beneath his grip.

As she collapsed onto the bed, Christian pulled out of her with a tangling of expletives as he disappeared into the bathroom. It was enough to make her smile, to distract her from the regret she felt. Climbing off the bed, she found her underwear and shoes and made her way towards the elevator. Her legs felt extremely shaky and if there was a bed nearby she would collapse and sleep for days.

"Where do you think you're going?" Ana walked faster. She wanted to avoid more conflict because she was just so damn tired of playing his games.

"I asked you a question." His voice sounded right behind her and her heart grew rapid in its pace.

"Home Christian." She uttered, just completely exasperated with it all.

"We need to talk."

"You had your chance."

"I didn't sleep with her."

"What you just leave your punishments for me then?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You have been punishing me from the beginning for other women's mistakes! I'm so tired of being a punching bag for your frustration. So you can send me a dress to label me a whore, or reduce me to the same position as your booty call. Four days at a cabin of you being nice doesn't fix everything Christian. You're not depositing good karma for moments like this." Her hands were shaking as she vomited her frustration and anger. He stood straighter protecting himself more.

"You are just like them."

"I am not like them. You are either blind or purposely needing a reason to push me away then. I don't want your money Christian. I haven't asked you for a dime and I never will. If you had a prenup here right now stating that I ask for nothing I'd sign it."

"Then why the fuck are you marrying me?" He growled throwing his hands up for dramatic effect.

"I guess I'm not the only one holding back." He answered for her when she refused to talk.

"The difference is that I am protecting someone. You are just protecting your damn ego. You want to push me away? Fine. But at some point I won't come back."

"You're not coming back?" Fear changed his features and it pulled on her heartstrings as much as she wished it didn't.

"Honestly, I don't know." She shrugged turning away from him and waited for the elevator. Ana could hear him shuffling behind her, his hands rubbing nervously against his jeans. As the door opened she stepped in and turned around seeing for the first time that she might have actually hurt him.

"Shit, Ana…" She cut him off with a raised hand.

"Please don't. I just need some space and time."

The doors closed and the finality broke her.