Title: Struggling
Category: X-Files XRA
Author: Singing Violin (Pearl on Ephemeral/Gossamer)
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: The X-Files characters and universe are not mine.
Summary: What happens after the screen goes black in "My Struggle II"?
Archiving: Anywhere, just let me know.

Alone in her room in the middle of the night, and suddenly with no desire to go back to sleep, Dana Scully was about to give in to her tears, but was interrupted by the sound of tapping at her window.

Thinking it was just the wind, she got up to investigate, only to see a hand up against the glass. She almost screamed, but stifled herself with a quick hand over her mouth. In that moment of forced silence, she heard the unmistakable sound of voices—familiar voices.

"I told you this was a bad idea."

"She wants to see us...she said so."

"Then why isn't she letting us in?"

"Maybe because we're not at the door, doofus!"

"That's because we didn't want to alert Margaret!"

"I know why, duh. But we're going to scare her."

"She'll forgive us once she sees us."

"I hope you're right."

Instantly she dropped her hand and breathed a sigh of relief, then opened the window, allowing the three men to come through.

"What are you doing here?!" she stage-whispered, torn between anger, surprise, and just being grateful for the company.

"We promised to come back soon," said Frohike.

"You wanted to talk," added Byers.

"So here we are," said Langly.

"But why through the window? Never mind, I overheard. But geez, guys, you're making me feel like a teenager, sneaking boys in through the window." She clucked in mock disapproval.

"Is that a good thing?" Byers asked curiously.

Scully rolled her eyes. "It's fine. Come in. Have a seat." With that, she motioned for the men to sit on the bed beside her, which they did, awkwardly, Byers and Frohike on one side and Langly on the other. "Okay, so let's start at the beginning. Where, exactly, is here?"

The three men eyed each other in panic before Byers finally spoke. "Honestly, Dana, we're not sure. We've asked ourselves that but...somehow it doesn't seem that important anymore."

Scully blinked furiously, shocked at the admission that these three truth-seekers could have given up on what seemed to be their most fundamental quest.

"What's more important to you than that?" asked Scully suspiciously.

At that, Frohike grinned, then grabbed Byers' left hand, holding it up so Scully could see the ring. "John's married."

Scully's eyes grew wide. "To whom?"

"Suzanne Modeski. Remember her?" Langly supplied.

"I thought she had to go into hiding. Wait..she came here?!" Scully asked incredulously.

Frohike nodded. "Yup, and then sent for John, who brought us."

"Why didn't she come to dinner?" asked Scully.

Byers looked embarrassed, so Langly explained. "They've got an infant. Suzanne thought it best to stay home with the baby; she was tired and didn't feel up to coming, but also we didn't want to spring too much on you all at once, given your recent illness."

For a moment, Scully contemplated asking about the aforementioned illness, about which she still had not gotten a straight answer from her mother or anyone else, but figured she could broach the subject later if they had answers to her other questions and seemed knowledgeable. Otherwise it would just be a waste of breath. "So this is some sort of...witness protection program?" Scully asked.

"Something like that," Frohike answered. "We honestly don't know much more...but we don't really want to, because if we find out too much, our lives will be in danger...again."

"This is so unlike you," Scully accused. "All of you. You would have given up anything for the pursuit of the Truth."

"You're right, we're not really here," said Frohike teasingly.

"Melvin!" objected Byers. "Be nice!"

Frohike held up his hands in surrender. "All right, I'm just joking...or am I?" He waggled his eyebrows.

Langly slapped Frohike playfully. "Knock it off." Then he addressed Scully, "Once upon a time, yes," admitted Langly, "but not since searching for the Truth left us with literally nothing. We've since learned that there are more important things in life."

At that, Byers made a blissful face, seemingly lost in contemplation.

"Byers has, at least," Scully conceded, "but what about you two?" She looked at Frohike and Langly in turn. "What have you guys got?"

"We're helping the Byers with the house and the baby, for now," Frohike explained, "but Langly's got a teaching position at the local school, and I'm doing volunteer work, reading to seniors and stuff, while I look for something else."

Scully stared at the three men in turn for what seemed like several minutes before she finally shook her head. "No, this isn't real. You're not real. Frohike wasn't joking...I refuse to believe any of this...and if you can't help me get out, I'm not sure who can." She bit her lip.

The men exchanged worried looks, seeing that Scully was on the verge of tears.

"What do you want to do?" asked Langly.

"Maybe we can still help," said Byers.

"We just want you to be happy," Frohike told her.

"Okay," Scully tried, taking a deep breath. "Just humor me for a moment. And I realize that if you're not really here—well, forget it, just—if this isn't real, what could it be? A hallucination? An elaborate ruse, set up by the Cancer Man? It wouldn't be the first time he's deceived me...or someone else."

The reference to Mulder's experience was not lost on them, and they all simultaneously looked down at the floor, as if in remembrance.

Frohike was the first to look up and back at Scully. "Well, theoretically you're immortal," he reminded her, "so maybe you're hundreds or thousands of years in the future, and this is all some sort of holographic simulation?"

Scully screwed up her face in disbelief. "That sounds like something out of Star Trek."

"It is," admitted Langly. "But you have to admit, it's a possibility."

"I can't believe I'm entertaining this—," Scully started.

"You said you wanted us to humor you," Byers pointed out, interrupting.

"But if that's the case, why? Why this particular scenario? And why are you all here, but Mulder isn't?"

Frohike looked solemn. "I don't think we can answer those questions, Dana. Perhaps reality was too painful, and you selected a fantasy you were comfortable with?"

"I'm not comfortable here!" Scully insisted. "And besides, why wouldn't I remember what happened before?"

Byers gave her a concerned look. "Maybe you didn't want to remember."

Langly added, "Or maybe you're a computer too...and you ran out of memory."

Frohike said, "Oh come on, now we're getting really ridiculous. No way holograms precede her capacity to remember her life. Or doesn't she know about Moore's Law?"

Scully sighed, waving her hands in dismissal. "It's okay, guys. I think I get the point."

Frohike sighed with relief in return, "Good, because I didn't want to be a figment of your imagination."

"We were just humoring you, like you wanted," reminded Langly. "We're as real as you are...I think."

"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about," Scully answered. "That I'm not as real as I think, whatever that even means. I guess I'll have to have a chat with C.G.B. Spender."

"We can get him for you," Byers offered. "If you'd like."

"Of course you can," Scully sighed dejectedly, before getting up and then ushering them back out the window, all the while contemplating how strange the whole scenario seemed.