Changed Roles, chapter 10

Lee was pulled from sleep by an increasingly loud knocking on the door to his apartment. Did I oversleep? Lee sat up in bed and as his eyes began to focus he looked at his alarm clock which read 3:05 AM. Amanda. Something must be very wrong. Since Amanda shared her concerns with him regarding the possibility that the Agency was aware of their secret marriage Lee was torn about how to handle the situation. Part of him wanted to reveal their secret so that they could live as a family but he desperately feared that something terrible could happen to one of them if their connection to him was revealed. Lee ran to answer the door without stopping to put on his robe; arriving at the door he looked through the peephole and saw a disheveled Francine.

"Where's Amanda," Lee demanded as soon as he opened the door.

"If she isn't here then I think it's safe to assume that she's fast asleep at home," Francine replied from her position in the hall since Lee hadn't fully opened the door.

"If Amanda, the boys and Dotty are all alright what the hell are you doing banging on my door at this hour," Lee asked in exasperation as he ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking about the time, I've made a mess of my life and I…shouldn't have turned to you for help."

Lee opened the door the rest of the way and grabbed Francine's arm, "No, I'm sorry, I want you to feel that you can turn to me whenever you need a friend. Although I wish you'd restrict your visits to more conventional hours. Come in and sit down while I throw on some clothes."

"You really have changed, I've seen everything that you've got, you're wearing pajamas isn't that clothed enough," Francine asked as she plopped down on his sofa in a very unladylike fashion.

"I suppose so," Lee replied as he sat down at the other end of the sofa, "are you in danger? Is someone threatening you?"

"No, my problems are mostly romantic; the Agency is just part of the problem. Didn't Amanda tell you everything that I talked to her about earlier; uhh yesterday morning?"

"Amanda takes your new found friendship very seriously. She kept whatever you told her to herself but I'm assuming that this is about the man you wouldn't talk to ME about last week," Lee replied in a way that suggested that he was hurt that Francine had confided in Amanda instead of him.

"Get over yourself Lee, I didn't plan to confide in Amanda, I just found myself telling her things I'd never talked to anyone else about," Francine explained.

"Yeah, I've found myself in that situation more times than I can count. Amanda is a good listener and she gives very good advice. I'm not qualified to give romantic advice; you know my track record, so how can I possibly help you?"

"You have a very colorful track record but that's in the past. I envy what you and Amanda have built together and I want that kind of relationship for myself. Do you offer the same level of confidentiality that Amanda does," a suddenly circumspect Francine asked.

"Yes, Francine, I can keep a secret," Lee replied, "although I prefer not to keep secrets from Amanda."

"I don't expect you to keep anything from Amanda. I came to you because I need a man's point of view and," Francine tapered off.

"Okay, I can give you a man's POV, what's your other reason for coming to me for advice? I know you aren't telling me your whole reason for coming to me instead of Amanda," Lee gently accused.

"Amanda is a very good person; she doesn't manipulate people and keep secrets unless she has to do it as part of the job. She's better than we are; we tend to think of creative ways of getting ourselves out of tight spots and we don't let being less than honest bother us. I'll never be as straight arrow as Amanda but I want to be a better person than I've been in the past."

"Francine, there are two fundamental facts that you need to believe before I can try to help you. The first is that while you're right that Amanda is a very good person, she's not perfect, she's as human as the rest of us." Francine looked as though she were on the brink of interrupting so Lee stopped her with a stern look. "The second thing that you need to believe is even more important than the first. You are a good person and you deserve the chance to love and be loved; don't let your past history keep you from believing that."

"I want to believe that, I started to believe that, but then everything started to go to hell around me. What do you do when you start wanting things out of life that you spent years convincing yourself that you didn't need to be happy? My career is very important to me but I want to be more than just professionally successful," Francine said sadly.

"I still don't understand what the problem is; you told me that you met someone special so why are you worried about choosing between a relationship and your career," Lee questioned in mild frustration as he began to consider excusing himself to start a pot of coffee.

"My problems began, and I stress multiple problems, when Billy assigned me to investigate the man I've fallen in love with."

"Love, are you sure you love him," a surprised Lee asked Francine.

"I wasn't sure until tonight when I was lying there next to him and-"

"That's enough," Lee said as he was surprised by how uncomfortable that mental picture made him, "I don't need to hear the details." I love Amanda so I'm not jealous but I never really considered that Francine would fall in love with another man. I've been the man in her life for so long, well not like that; will our friendship change if she's in a serious relationship?

"Relax; I wasn't planning to share the details with you. I didn't think that any man would ever love me the way you love Amanda but now I think that Michael could love me that way but the deck is stacked against us. I've always fought for what I wanted but now I have no idea what I should do," Francine confessed as a lone tear ran down her cheek.