Here is the next chapter… enjoy!
For the umpteenth time, Michael's eyes drifted to his right and settled on his friend and he inwardly cursed once more for not being able to find the words that could help him. He had never been one to talk or express himself easily, and comforting people was definitely not his forte, but for once in his life, he really wished he had the ability.
He couldn't even imagine what Max could be going through right now for he knew all too well that whatever he could come up with would still be too far from the reality. And he couldn't even try to just put himself in Max's shoes if only because he didn't know what you felt when you loved someone as much as he knew Max could love Liz, so he didn't know either what you felt when you were so close to losing that person who meant so much to you.
He just wished Max could talk about what he was feeling right now, it would sure be better than closing off like he had, but so far, ever since his impressive breakdown nearly an hour ago, Max hadn't said another word and Michael was sure it couldn't be good in any way.
After all the time and patience it had taken to calm him down, he had certainly not expected him to react this way. He had been so hysterical then actually that one nurse had even suggested sedating him, thinking that that would be the only solution.
It wasn't so much because of the scene he had been creating then, or all the incoherent things he had being screaming during his collapse, but more for his own security. Michael was sure that at one point, the staff had really believed that Max was going to hurt himself or do something really stupid. And he had, too, honestly, even if he had thought that he could probably not do worse than what he had already done, but at least then he had still looked alive.
He had moved willingly of course when Doctor Langley had suggested that they waited down the hallway that led directly to the operating rooms and where Max would be closer to Liz, but now even if he was clearly breathing and Michael could see him still reacting to the noise around him every time someone entered or exited through the doors near them, he really felt like Max wasn't even there with him anymore and he didn't like it one bit. It was just too scary, seeing his friend like this and it filled him with a really uneasy feeling.
Everything seemed just so unfair to him right then. Max certainly didn't deserve this, and Liz even less. Yet here they were, both of them, Liz fighting for her life and Max probably fighting some inner demons he was the only one to see. He wished with all his might that there was something he could do for them, something more efficient than just standing there, waiting for news that weren't coming, but right now he was just as powerless as Max or anyone else and he knew their fate was in the hands of those doctors who were desperately trying to save Liz's life.
In all honesty, he hadn't realized just how close to the truth he had been earlier when he had told that policeman that their charge had nearly killed Max's wife, and he had surely not been prepared to hear about how many injuries she had sustained. Before it had only been a means to let them go of Max, now though, he was convinced that it was really nothing short of a miracle if Liz was still alive. But for how long, that was the question that really needed an answer to.
Not so surprisingly so and after having been informed of the real circumstances of the accident and the gravity of Liz's condition, Michael could understand better why Max had been ready to murder the other guy. He would have done the exact same thing in similar situation.
Ray Sullivan, that was his name from what he had heard. A name none of them would certainly ever forget.
Once Max had stopped crying and screaming, Michael had managed to prop him into a chair and then had gone to see if he could have more information concerning Liz's state, but instead he had heard the two policemen talking about their prisoner and he couldn't help but eavesdrop.
From what he had gathered, this Ray guy was quite known by the police authorities and it wasn't the first time he was arrested for driving under influence. Only he had been lucky enough to never injure anyone, at least to this day. The weird thing was that beside his obvious problem with alcohol, that man seemed as normal as anyone else. He had a job, a wife, and even a baby on the way, but now Michael guessed that he would have to get used to seeing his first born behind a plexiglass window before being able to hold it after this, because if he had taken anything seriously of what Max had said, it was definitely his promise to sue the guy. No matter what happened next, he didn't doubt that Max would make sure that man wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else ever again, and if Max didn't himself, then chances were that Phillip Evans would for him. In any case, it was going to be long before Ray Sullivan would ever touch a steering wheel again, sober or not.
He would have to get out of there first anyway, and that wasn't done yet either. If he had still had any doubt about how enraged Max had been, hearing about all the injuries he had inflicted on the other man had surely dispelled them all at once.
Not that he was going to pity him, far from it, but Max had certainly not missed many hits: in addition to the broken nose Michael had already suspected about, Max had also broken one of his arms, though that was probably more due to the position he had been in and the fact that he had been handcuffed to the chair all the while than to the force of his blows, he had dislocated his shoulder blade as well, broken two of his ribs and made him lose, at least partly, a few teeth.
That last was probably what had caused Max's own injuries, Michael thought. It wasn't anything really bad, just a few cuts on his knuckles most likely caused when Max had punched his face, but it had been enough to make him bleed and need to be taken care of. Not that Max had seemed to notice himself, since he hadn't even batted an eyelash when one of the nurses had cleaned the small wounds and bandaged his hand.
He hadn't reacted at all either when Michael had given him more information concerning the drunk driver's identity or his state, but that wasn't surprising. Max certainly couldn't care less about what could happen to him, which was completely understandable.
If he couldn't read his mind, Michael was sure nonetheless that there was only one thing he was able to think about, Liz, and he knew that he wouldn't go completely back to his normal self until he would know exactly how she was doing. In the meantime, Michael was willing himself to be as patient as he could but really this silence was starting to get on his nerves and if he didn't do something and fast he would probably go crazy himself. That was certainly why he took the first opportunity he could get to finally put an end to this straining situation. Or at least he tried.
"Do you want something? … anything?" he asked, when a noise behind him caused Max to turn to him and their eyes consequently met.
Yeah, I want my life back. I want to see my wife. And I want to see her alright. I want someone to tell me this is only a nightmare and that everything's gonna be okay, Max thought bitterly but kept his words for him, aware that no matter what he could say, Michael wouldn't be able to give him what he needed more than anything else right now. He unfortunately did not have that power, so instead of answering, he just lowered his gaze and shook his head almost imperceptibly.
"Do you want to talk?" Michael tried again, even when he knew it was an inane question since it was all too obvious to him that that was certainly the last thing Max wanted to do. But just maybe, if he kept speaking to him, he would react at last and anything at this point was better than nothing at all.
Only once more Max just shook his head negatively and any hope he had to see him opening up to him and expressing himself all but flew out the window.
"Max… we should really talk about this you know… you can't just keep everything bottled up inside!" he sighed and insisted nevertheless, even though he was sure it would be useless. Max could be really stubborn when he wanted and now was obviously one of those times.
Of course Max knew he was right, but what was he supposed to say? He knew it would probably do him some good to express what he was feeling, but the truth was he didn't even know where to begin. His mind was a jumble of thoughts right now, had been ever since he had taken that phone call hours ago in fact, and he couldn't even sort them all out himself.
"Max?" Michael called out to him once more when he kept ignoring him, noting himself the desperation in his voice, but not caring about it more than that at the moment.
If sounding or looking desperate was what it took, if that was the only way to bring his friend to talk to him, then so be it. He would beg him to speak to him even, if he wasn't so convinced it wouldn't work.
That was probably why after he threw him a sideway glance, Michael was so surprised to see him standing up and moving to the huge double doors in front of them and that led directly to Liz, and even more to eventually hear his voice.
"She was pregnant!" Max breathed out softly and out of the blue, having a hard time believing himself he was actually really saying it, or even just starting by that. Yet it was the only thing he could still think about. The only clear thing in his mind beside the fact that Liz was fighting for her life only a few feet away.
"Who? Liz? But how?… I mean, I thought that…I-I don't… " Michael stuttered incredulously, sure that he had either heard him wrong, or not gotten what he meant because clearly he couldn't be talking about Liz.
He knew all too well that Liz and Max had not been 'physically' together in months and that it wasn't going so well between them even before that, so it didn't make any sense to him. Unless of course… but no, that was so not a possibility. Or was it?
Max for his part wasn't even surprised to see Michael looking at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face, he was sure he would have a hard time believing what he was about to tell him considering so far he had never really given Michael the real reason he and Liz weren't together any longer. He had just said they weren't getting along anymore, and Michael not really being one to butt into your business if he saw you didn't want to really talk about it, at least when he understood it was really serious, he hadn't asked for more. Which suited him just fine at the time. But now though, considering what he had just said, he knew he couldn't keep hiding the truth any longer.
"It was n-not mine!" he admitted, his voice thick with emotion he was unsuccessfully trying to hide and so low Michael was sure he wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't stood up as well and hadn't been so close to him when he spoke.
Despite himself and how brave he was trying to be, Max swallowed up audibly the instant the words were out and he felt the bile raising up in his throat once more. There was certainly nothing harder for him than to acknowledge that fact and he would have surely rather swallowed broken glass than to have to say that much out loud. Yet it didn't change anything to the cruel and hard reality. A few hours ago, Liz had probably been happy with the knowledge that she was expecting again… and the baby was not his.
"Oh…oh… man, I-I'm sorry!" Michael just uttered after minutes just blinking at Max and staying with his mouth agape, what he had just learned being surely the last thing he had expected to hear today.
It seemed kind of stupid in fact to even say as much, but truth was he didn't know what to tell him. He was simply and completely shell shocked.
Liz. Pregnant. And Max was not the father. Well, that brought a new light on a lot of things, but god… Liz, the Liz he thought he knew, going behind Max's back and cheating on him, even making a baby with another man, that just seemed so totally inconceivable. No matter what.
"She… she lost it… but you know what… it wouldn't have made any difference to me… it-it doesn't…and even knowing that she… that she…" not needing Michael's pity right now, Max revealed quickly to divert his thoughts, but though it only confirmed all he had believed for months, what he already knew, he just couldn't force himself to say 'she has been with someone else' out loud just yet… it hurt too much. Instead so, he tried to bring himself to speak about what was really important then. What was, against all expectations, still really the only sure thing in his heart, and that no matter what he had learnt not long ago. " …it d-doesn't change what I feel for her! Can you believe that?!… I-I still love her… god, I still love her so much… and I would give anything just to be able to tell her that, but now…" Max cried out but even as Michael cut him off, it didn't stop the words from echoing through his head. Now he might never have the opportunity to let her know as much. Now it could be already too late.
He hated the thought that Liz could have been with someone else, that she could have given herself to anyone but him of course, but despite that, deep down, if it meant being with her again and seeing her alright, being able to love her again and have another chance with her, he knew he would have found a way to get past this and accept what had been. If he hadn't been sure about that, or even just not been able to conceive such a thing before, now the thought of losing her surely set the record straight. He would accept and do anything, if it meant being with Liz.
Yes, being with her was the only thing that seemed important at this point, and the rest, their fights, their problems, their disagreements became secondary in his eyes. Completely inexistent even.
"Max… don't do this… she's gonna be okay… she has to!" Michael interrupted hastily before the words could leave his mouth, knowing already exactly where he was heading.
Having negative thoughts was certainly the last thing they needed now. Max would surely not last the hour if he started to think that way, so why he was imposing this kind of torture on himself was beyond him.
"My wife… m-my wife might d-die in there, Michael… " Max sobbed out, banging his hand angrily against the glass window in front of him, not caring in the least if he broke the door in the process or what. Right at that instant he just wanted to tear it down anyway and go find out what they were doing to his wife and why this was taking so long. He just couldn't take the wait anymore.
And yet, he couldn't even really blame anyone else for his misery, because all this, everything that was happening to him now, was his only fault, he was convinced of that. Somehow he couldn't help thinking that this was his punishment for everything wrong he had ever done, and it was surely hitting its mark. There couldn't be anything worse than what was being inflicted upon him right now. He could feel it. He was losing her and he couldn't stand the thought.
"She's not… I don't want to hear you talk like this… and Liz wouldn't want that either… she's strong… if anyone can pull through it, it's gonna be Liz!" Michael declared as persuasively as he could, but if he were honest, even to himself, the words didn't sound quite true.
He knew well that there was a great chance Liz wouldn't make it, the doctors had even tried to prepare them to that possibility earlier, even if his friend hadn't seemed to be really listening to them, but he didn't want Max to focus on that for now.
And as unbelievable as it was, at least for a short instant, it seemed to work, he thought as he saw Max looking at him, obviously searching for some confirmation that what he was saying was right, before he wiped away the few tears that had managed to roll down his cheeks with the back of his hand. He didn't say anything for a while, but when he spoke again Michael was almost surprised by the change.
"We had a fight this morning, you know!" Max whispered, suddenly looking calmer, like he wasn't even in that same room with him anymore but had been transported back to this morning.
Michael wasn't sure that was a good thing however, because that could only lead Max to do one thing. He was without a doubt going to blame himself and on top of everything else, that surely couldn't be of any good.
"It's not important anymore, Max!" he told him, hoping to make him concentrate on anything but that, but Max was obviously determined to go down that road. Knowing him it was most certainly the only thing he had been able to think about actually.
It was probably a normal reaction if you thought of it, but if they really looked at the situation, if anyone should be blamed then, Michael couldn't help thinking that it should be him. Even not knowing what their fight had been about, his guess was that what had started it was most likely the fact that Max had been late once more and that was mainly his fault, not Max's.
"It is… she must think… Michael, god she could die thinking that I hate her!" he moaned out achingly, remembering all the hurtful things he had told her and then turned back to his friend, the tortured expression in his eyes making Michael suck in a breath. "But I don't… I-I don't… God knows I've tried but I just… don't… despite everything we've been through… I still love her more than anything or anyone in this world… she's the only one, Michael! She's always been the only one! I-I don't know how to… how to just… be… without her!" he finished, his voice cracking by the end and making the words barely comprehensible.
"I know that… and I'm sure she knows it, too!" Michael ventured carefully, knowing that anything wrong he would say at this point could potentially send Max into another hysterical episode and he definitely didn't need that right now.
"No… no, she doesn't… that's the fucking irony…" Max declared with a bitter chuckle that sent shivers down Michael's spine. "You know it, the whole damned world probably knows it, but she doesn't… it's been months, years even since I've really shown her what I feel… what she really means to me… I was so obsessed with my damned career, and doing what I thought was right that I didn't even realize I was pushing her away… and I-I know I lost her then… g-god, if I know that… but if… if anything happened now, Michael… I-I would just follow her… I couldn't live without her!" he intoned, barely taking a breath between each piece of sentence, and the more he spoke, the more Michael realized just how close to losing it again he was.
"Max… stop right now… if not for yourself, you have to be strong for Liz and for your daughter!… you can't fall apart now!" he stopped him and scolded him gently, wanting him to remember that his family needed him now more than ever, and so only when he saw Max's face blanch and heard the inhuman sob that tore from his throat did he realize his mistake. Max was in no fit state to be reminded that they still had no news concerning Janelle's whereabouts.
"My daughter, huh?" Max started, his vision blurring once more just at the thought of her. "I don't even know where my daughter is!… she could be bleeding to death somewhere and I can't do a fucking thing for her… what kind of father am I? What kind of husband, huh? … I should have protected them… I should have been with them!" he cried self depreciatively, hating himself then probably more than ever before.
Liz was barely alive behind those closed doors and Janelle was God only knew where, while he was there feeling helpless and lost with no idea of what he was supposed to do. Yeah, some man he was.
"And it wouldn't have changed a thing, you know that, Max!" Michael interjected almost right away, understanding where Max was coming from but all too aware that this wasn't something he had any control over. Accidents happened all the time, even if no one knew why and even if it was unfair, there wasn't a thing they could do against that.
But Max wasn't seeing it that way. In his mind, he was convinced that it would have changed everything. If he had been there, first of all Liz and Janelle would have probably not been on that road to begin with. But if they had nonetheless, then he would have changed the damned wheel, Liz wouldn't have had to get out of the car and she would be alright right now because they would have been out of there before anything could have occured. He would have gotten her out of there, and he would have made sure that nothing happened to her.
"They needed me, Michael… and I-I wasn't there… and Janelle… she's my baby… my little b-baby girl… sh-she must be so scared, wherever she is… maybe she's calling for me… and I-I'm not there for her!… and…" he croaked out before his vocal chords betrayed him once more, the thought of Janelle alone out there, wondering where her parents could be and why there weren't coming for her being enough to bring him to his knees. "God, h-how am I even supposed to do this, Michael?… I feel like I have to choose between her and Liz… how can you choose between your wife and your daughter?… I-I should be out there searching for my baby… but I'm just so scared that something could happen to Liz if I… if I leave here… and then… then I wouldn't be here for her… I'm just so fucking s-scared… I-I can't lose either of them!… I can't… it would kill me, Mike!… So how c-can I-I do this?" he questioned tremulously, though he wasn't expecting any answer. Michael wouldn't know what to do either if he was confronted to the same situation.
It was humanly impossible to make such a choice, and there was nothing worse than how it left him feeling. Part of him wanted so much to tell the nurses to go screw themselves and that he would find his daughter himself, but he was also holding on to the hope that they were right and that nothing really bad had happened to Janelle and therefore that he was doing the right thing by wanting to stay by Liz's side, or at least as close to her as he could be, but there was no saying how hard not moving and waiting for someone to answer to those damned faxes was.
As for the thought of losing either of them, he wasn't kidding, he wouldn't survive it if anything irrevocable happened to Liz or Janelle. He was nothing without them and his life would have no sense if he lost them.
"Hey… look at me, Maxwell!" Michael ordered him, grabbing his arm and turning him to him when Max refused to listen to him and obstinately kept looking right ahead. "Nothing wrong is going to happen to your wife or to your daughter… they're both gonna be alright!" he said confidently, hoping more than anything that it were true and wishing he could convince, or at least reassure Max as well.
He wouldn't stop and think about what he would do if anything worse than what had already occurred to Max's family was to happen.
"But what if… " Max couldn't help but interject, though there was no saying how much he loathed to have to contradict Michael in this case.
"No… no buts, no what ifs, okay?… you have to believe that they're gonna be okay!" Michael cut him off quite brusquely, not meaning to be rude but not needing Max to come up with all kind of speculations, or crazy scenarios in his state. "Now you know what we're gonna do?… you're gonna stay here with Liz, and I'm gonna see where your daughter is… and believe me even if I have to spend the whole night looking for her, or go to each and every hospital in this damned city, I will… but I'll bring her back, okay?" he then declared fervently, coming to the conclusion that for Max's sanity as well as his own that was the only thing to do.
Now that Max was somewhat calmed down, he had no doubt that he would be way more helpful to him if he managed to appease his fears concerning his daughter, and that way at least Max would be able to concentrate more on Liz.
"But what if you find her but they don't let you see her or… or take her back here?" Max asked, wanting more than anything to believe that after the living nightmare he had just gone through it could be that easy, but afraid to let himself really hope.
Besides, Michael not being Janelle's father, they would probably not let him get her out of the hospital just like that. They most likely would need a discharge for that, or something like that and chances were it could only be signed by one of her parents.
"Then I'll come back here and I'll stay here for Liz, while you go and see your daughter… but everything's gonna be okay, Max!" Michael said simply, not wanting to go over all the possible obstacles to his reasoning right now. "Besides, we don't even know for sure if Jay was with Liz when the accident happened."
"Where would she be then?" Max wondered, voicing out loud one of the questions that he had been asking himself for the last hour.
It was just taking too long for the other hospitals staff to identify Janelle and get back to them, so maybe the doctor had been right and she had never been anywhere near the accident. But if that were so, he just couldn't figure out where she could be.
Liz would have most certainly informed him of where she was going to leave her if she hadn't been with her, just in case she would have been late or anything and he would have had to go and get her, and the same applied to his parents. If she had been with them and they had planned to go anywhere with her, they would have called him like they always did in such case. What was more, they wouldn't have kept her out so late, not when they knew that they had plans for the evening, and since they had not answered yet to his messages, at least not before he had had to turn off his phone a little while ago, thing that they would have done as soon as they would have been home and sensed his desperation, he already knew that he was grasping at straws by hoping that she was with them nonetheless.
"I don't know… maybe Liz left her with some friends or neighbors… you said yourself you didn't know where she could be going on that road… so maybe she didn't take Janelle with her and we're worrying for nothing." Michael speculated, having no idea of what had really happened but ready to come up with anything and verify any theory that could still give some hope to Max and help him go through this in any way.
"Can't you join her friends, or Janelle's?… maybe she left her with some classmate?" he asked then when he saw Max's already trying to see if that could be a possibility and therefore, with whom exactly Liz could have left her.
Liz had of course not known what would happen to her, so it wouldn't be so surprising if she had not taken Janelle with her, maybe thinking that whatever she had to do wouldn't take her long, but the fact that she had not warned Max of that, or anyone else they knew of, could be a problem and slow them down in their search.
"I have an agenda with their numbers, but it's in my office!" Max informed him, cursing himself for not keeping it with him or in his car, somewhere it could be easily reachable if anything like this happened. What use did he have for it at his office, really?
"Okay, then I'll just go and take it… and then if we still can't find her in the different hospitals, we'll just call each of them." Michael decided but still hoped that they wouldn't have to resort to that.
At this point, the sooner they found Janelle the better it would be, for Max and for everyone, and if they had to go through the whole list of Liz and Janelle's acquaintances, it could take them a while.
"Okay!… but I'm going to call my parents again nonetheless!… just in case." Max said, thinking that even if they didn't know where Janelle was, they should at least be informed of the situation.
"Yeah, do that and let me know if they have any news!" Michael demanded, still holding on to the hope that the Evanses would know something.
Unfortunately, since cell communications weren't allowed inside the hospital, they couldn't even know if they had tried to join Max in the last fifteen minutes or so it had been off, but they hadn't had much choice.
Not too long after Max had seemed to get back to his senses, Tess had called him to know what was happening but Michael, who had been the one answering Max's cell at that moment, had just told her that Max couldn't talk to her right now and then had turned the phone off after having been asked by the nurses to do so. In a way, he was glad he had had to because from the little he knew about Tess Harding, he didn't doubt that she would try to call again and that she wouldn't stop until she would be able to talk to Max, and he surely didn't need to have to deal with her as well on top of everything else. The only real problem was that it was preventing anyone else to call and join them as well.
"Sure… oh… wait, here!" Max agreed, before fishing in his pockets for his office keys and giving them to Michael, sure that by the time he would get there everyone would have left. "And thank you, Mike!" he then added meaningfully, closing his hand around Michael's and wishing he could say even more to express just how much his help meant to him. He would have hit rock bottom long ago and wouldn't have been able to stand up again if it weren't for his friend, and only for that he would be forever indebted to him.
"Hey, don't even mention it… I love them, too!" he admitted somewhat discreetly. Not that he was ashamed to say as much, or anything alike, because it was definitely the truth, but he rarely ever told people with words how much they could mean to him.
He didn't need to say more however, because Max certainly knew how he felt. Michael had always treated Janelle like she were his own daughter. There was probably not a child on Earth that was more spoiled by their godfather than Janelle was by hers actually and Max knew all too well he would do anything for her.
Just like he would do anything for Liz, no matter what could happen between them. Even when he was at odds with her, Michael had never treated her any differently, though of course lately he had seen her or Janelle less than he usually did due to the circumstances. He had never taken sides either and even now, knowing what he knew, Max was sure that he wouldn't judge her, or think any less of her for all that.
It didn't come as a surprise however, because that was just the way Michael was. He could be your worst enemy if he didn't get along with you, but it was definitely the best of friends if he chose you and confided in you, and Max was glad he was proving once more what a good friend he was because he knew he would need all the support he could get if things didn't turn out as he wished they would.
Till his return so, he would wait as patiently as he could and pray with all his might that everything would be okay, knowing that if anyone could find his daughter and bring her back to him, Michael would be that someone.