Chapter 10 - Magic

When he was a prince in Asgard, Loki never had to go shopping because everything was brought for him by servants to the royal family. If he wanted food, it was brought to him in masses until he was happy; if he needed clothes, some would be made for him immediately; if he needed someone other that Thor to prank, he'd set up a trap for the next person to walk through the door and ask if he wants something. That's what he liked the most about Asgard, the endless attendants ready and waiting to provide the royal family with anything.

It wasn't like he hadn't been shopping on Midgard before, he had to get his food somehow, but the god still wasn't very good at choosing what food to buy. In Asgard there was four types of food: meat, fruit, bread and vegetables - all accompanied with enough alcohol to keep a warrior happy. But on Earth there was so many types of substance available, and almost all of it contained far too much sugar. Why do mortals seem to be addicted to sugar?

He stuck to buying basic groceries along with some cat stuff - food that Tony could eat while cat size, a water bowl, and a litter tray. The god didn't think that Tony would approve of being made to use a littler tray though and wasn't looking forward to his reaction, but he was a cat and didn't have much of an option.

After an hour wandering around a supermarket and with carrier bags weighing down his arms, Loki spent the walk back wondering how humans managed to cope with shopping without dying of boredom or of being made to walk home with a ton of shopping.

~x~

When Loki opened the door to his apartment with a nudge from his hip, his hands were occupied with carrying the shopping bags, he thought for a second that it had snowed in the hallway. There was white powder covering a long trail of the carpet between the kitchen and living room doors that was about a foot wide.

The trickster walked into the kitchen and dropped the carrier bags before inspecting the powder trail; the origin was pretty obvious when he saw a bag of flour lying on the floor next to the sink that had been ripped open and was spilling the powder everywhere. He shook his head in annoyance before following the trail through the corridor and into the living room, where there was even more flour than in the kitchen.

Stark was sitting meekly by the sofa and Loki would have been curious at the sheepishness if it wasn't for the fact that the kitten was completely covered in flour. The billionaire was looking at Loki with wide brown eyes that stood out greatly from the white powder stuck to his fur - if he didn't know better then he would have assumed that Tony was a white cat. The trickster was about to pretend that he was annoyed, just to see what Tony's reaction would be, but before he could even open his mouth the kitten sneezed. A cloud of flour rose around the billionaire and made him sneeze again.

"Aww," Loki said without thinking, making Tony look back up to him with giant brown eyes filled with curiosity and embarrassment. The god was embarrassed too and could feel a blush burning at his cheeks; it wasn't until after he had awwed at Tony when his brain caught up and reminded him that the kitten was a man who probably wouldn't approve of being seen as cute.

The awkward silence would have been broken immediately by Tony if he wasn't a cat so it was up to Loki to say something.

"I see you attempted some cooking."

The cat glared weakly at him, muttering something that was probably a witty remark but all Loki could hear was strangled meows. It took a while for Tony to realise that he wasn't actually speaking and abruptly shut up, glaring at the trickster more intensely even though he could see that there was no actual bitterness in Stark's eyes. The glare didn't work as well as Tony wanted; there was nothing scary about a flour-covered kitten.

Tony didn't notice that Loki had sat down next to him until he felt a hand run down his back, instantly shutting up his little rant. Chuckling slightly to himself, the god inspected the trail of flour leading to the kitten and the patch under where Stark was sitting. How could one cat make so much mess?

"You definitely know how to make a mess."

When Tony tried to talk back, all Loki could hear was the same choked sounds which was really starting to irritate him - he wanted to hear what Tony was attempting to say for once. The trickster focused on Stark, who was still talking, and summoned any magic he could grasp in order to attempt a spell he'd never tried before.

The almost sarcastic sounding meows coming from the kitten slowly morphed into words that were definitely in Tony's voice, "...god thinking he can just sit there and stare at me like he can read my mind. Well, two can play at this game. I'll just glare at him until he gets intimidated."

Stark's eyes narrowed in concentration which confirmed that Loki had performed the spell right; he could now hear what Tony is attempting to say instead of just the meows. He laughed in triumph, which startled the kitten out of it's glare, and smirked back at Tony.

"Glaring at me won't intimidate me, Stark."

The taken-back expression remained on Stark's face as the trickster laughed again and continued, "And, before you ask, I can now hear what you're attempting to say so I won't have to put up with them damn cat noises emitting from your mouth instead."

"You're kidding, right?" Loki could no longer hear the meows any more, only the billionaire's voice loud and clear in his mind - as if the cat was actually talking. A talking cat would be weird to the god, but he had encountered weirder on his travels around Asgard. Ever seen a purple dragon that causes earthquakes by singing opera? Loki has.

"I'm not kidding at all. I can't turn you back into a human yet, but this is an improvement I think."

"Could anyone else hear what I'm saying then?"

"Nope. They'd only hear a cat sounding like it's being strangled."

"I really sound like that?"

"Yes, that's why I cast the spell allowing me to hear your speech."

"You'd look like a right weirdo talking to a cat that seems to be talking back in cat language."

"I don't intend for anyone else to encounter me talking to an animal." Stark seemed to be taking the situation well, which intrigued Loki because not many people could be turned into a magical talking cat and still converse normally like it was an everyday occurence.

"Can I use your shower? I kinda got flour... everywhere. I can't cook. Sorry."

"It's alright, I've brought you some cat-friendly food so you wont have to attempt cooking again," the god said with a soft smile, just happy that Tony still didn't look as though he was going to escape any time soon, "The shower is in the little room next to my bedroom. Do you need help? I'm okay with delaying sorting out the shopping." Loki almost shocked himself with his willingness to drop everything in order to help someone other than himself.

"No no, I can manage myself." Tony replied as he strutted out of the door, leaving Loki sat next to just a large patch of flour that he sighed at; gods of mischief do not specialise in cleaning up flour, that's what servants would be asked to do.

He shifted slightly so that he was squatting, when he heard Tony whine from the bathroom - the voice in his mind making the billionaire seem closer than he actually was, "Lokiiiiiiiii. Can you give me a hand please? I'm too short to use the shower."

A/N: I really wanted to have some conversations between Tony and Loki so TADA, magic!

To that person who wanted to translate this: Sure you can, I feel honoured! Only term is that you mention that I wrote it :)

And, because I have 100 follows; I'd like to thank myself for being awesome, the god of carton drink straws, the post man, Phil, Bowser, Darth Vader, Thor, Zeus, Optimus Prime, Yoda, Voldemort, Disco Stu, Elvis, Mr T, Raphael, Donkey, Santa, Clint, my ego, geckos, Yoshi, Legolas, The Doctor, Sherlock Holmes, EYEBROWS, Trevor, Phil's ear, Sirius, my weird tendency to act like Tony, Loki Laufeyson, Anthony Stark, and finally, Obama. (Special shoutout to Iamaguitarpick!)