Hi, hope you are alright. Here's the next one.

Love

Sadie

I will look like those ones who failed, and only I will know if the failure was necessary.

Clarice Lispector (a Brazilian/Ukrainian writer)

CHAPTER X – LOOKING FOR THE LIGHT – PART 2

"That's what you told him?" Glorfindel asked, incredulous.

"And what did you expect me to tell him?" the adviser said, defending himself. He sat on his chair behind the big massive desk. "Have you forgotten what Elrohir is capable of? Do I need to remind you? His invaluable virtues are liable to turn themselves into the most dangerous weaknesses. I do not doubt he was intending to do what he alluded to in his written words."

"And was that a good reason to remind the poor boy of how many problems he has already caused? What do you have inside your chest for a heart?" Glorfindel said dryly. That's why I didn't see him the rest of the afternoon."

Erestor rolled his eyes.

"At least I succeeded. He will not have the heart to do what he was contemplating. Anyway, talking about severity, I don't think I said anything more insensitive than you say to them in your training camp. I doubt you would have done differently in my place." Erestor felt the need to defend himself again, but his heart wasn't really in it. He was not ready for that discussion.

Glorfindel thought about objecting, but his response was delayed by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. He and Erestor were in the library waiting for a third member to come to the meeting. The expected figure appeared at the door then, stopped and waited under the doorframe.

"Come in, Elrond. Please," Erestor said in invitation, but the healer stayed where he was.

"I have to remind you that I cannot attend any meetings indoors," he said patiently. "What do you want of me, mellyn-nîn?"

Glorfindel clicked his tongue impatiently. Silly laws. How could the counsel have applied it this way, without any adjustment?

"It is already evening, Elrond," he said pointedly, very unhappy. "Regardless of where we are, we will attract comment any way."

The healer looked down, but did not move. After a mere moment of silence he simply placed his hand on the doorframe, leaning on it, and stayed there without taking one more step. The two friends looked at each other from their seats and exchanged resigned expressions. They knew Elrond well enough to know that he would not violate any rules, no matter how silly they were.

"Elrohir was here," Erestor said to raise the subject, realizing how touchy this conversation could be.

"I met him during my morning visit," Elrond replied, thinking that his friend was merely making a straightforward comment to initiate the conversation. However, realizing the other two elves were looking at each other worriedly made him feel that there Erestor's comment was more serious that what might be said in casual discussion.

"Has he done something wrong?"

"He was here looking at some books," Erestor said.

"Yes. That's what I saw him doing."

"You know that your child does not read anything unless it is required," the adviser said in a hesitant tone, obviously reluctant to go on. Elrond's eyebrows drew together menacingly, in the way that was so characteristic of him.

"Tell me what's going on, Erestor," he directed then. "Elrohir no sooner arrived home and he is already populating your concerns, mellon-nîn?"

"Not only mine," hit back the adviser, looking at his friend with serenity. "You know your child. We all know why Celeborn took him from here."

Elrond's gaze turned downward to slide across the darkened tiles on the floor before him.

"He will fail to comply with the situation, especially knowing what has happened to you, Elrond. Let's talk to the council again."

The healer's head fell back, as one who hears a story for the umpteenth time, and then he rubbed his right temple with his forefinger.

"Talk to the council about what?" he asked in so low a tone that he seemed to be asking the question to himself. "How many meetings have there been since the incident?"

Erestor and Glorfindel looked at each other. Such meetings were indeed more frequent and frivolous than any of them wanted. Sometimes two of them or even Celebrian had set up to discuss the situation with the council to seek a solution to the impasse in which they found themselves.

"They are bound by laws." Elrond turned to the horizon behind him, and his eyes got lost looking at the few stars which had appeared at the end of the afternoon. "We cannot blame them, and we will only be able to have some peace, at least, when we try to follow the paths that we've been given."

Another sound of total disapproval filled the air, followed Glorfindel, getting up and pushing back his chair.

"This time it will be different. We have Celeborn's theory about the sword."

Elrond sighed briefly, standing back a little now, still under the doorframe. He looked like a statue crowned by moonlight. His shoulders were stiff and he seemed to look toward an unattainable horizon.

"They will give you credit," Erestor insisted. "You are the creator of all that we have here. They are just waiting for a credible story, the one which they can really support. They want to be convinced. They are as unhappy as we are."

Elrond bowed his head, shaking it gently.

"I'm not the creator of anything," he said. "I will not be in any position of privilege. I will learn how to live this way, as I have learnt how to face other obstacles in the past." He raised his face, and then stood straighter, turning quickly toward the two elves who were inside the room. "I have to go now."

"We can get evidence instead of favors," Glorfindel proposed then, before Elrond took the first step. "I will take the path to old Dor-Lomin, to the submerged land, until I get to Tol Morwen, and there I will get the information."

"What information, Glorfindel?" Elrond turned slowly, but his eyes were dark with the emotion of the conversation.

"You know what."

Elrond was silent for a moment; he looked at both his friends before turning to the blond warrior.

"Mellon-nîn," he said in a still patient tone. "Are you listening to what you are saying? To get such information, or rather the only information we are really interested in, you would have to do more than stand in a place so sacred that even Ulmo decided to sanctify it. You would have to do more than reach the tomb of Túrin Turambar. You would have to violate it."

"It would be for a good cause."

"It is forbidden."

"It's for a good cause, Elrond." Glorfindel reinforced the tone of his voice. "If the sword is buried along with the dead hero's body, we will have to abandon our theory, but if not, it will be the proof we need."

"Elrohir also believed that what he had done was for a good cause, Glorfindel. The laws were not meant to be discussed, but obeyed."

Glorfindel snorted in clear disagreement.

"I will not allow you to judge me as you would a foolish child, Elrond."

"There's folly in what you say." Elrond was not fazed.

"Folly in trying to prove your son's innocence?"

Elrond's chest rose as he inhaled sharply. He closed his eyes briefly. Glorfindel approached him then.

"You know I'm thankful for your good intention, mellon," said the healer, still with closed eyes. After he re-opened them, he offered a worried look to his blond friend. "However, it is unwise to sow this kind of hope, based on risks and other misdemeanors."

Glorfindel showed his discontent again.

"So what would make sense, Elrond? Let your family and friends watch the silly sacrifice you are making?" he asked, his tone scathing. "All I see is misery and more misery to be sown. What are you really profiting from such barbarity, if your family is incapable of a sincere smile since all this started?"

Elrond turned pale and Glorfindel regretted his absolute frankness immediately. He parted his lips trying to find other words less harsh than those ones he had said, but was restrained by the healer's raised palm. Elrond looked into his eyes, then put his hand over his friend's heart in a sign totally contrary to what Glorfindel thought he wanted to express. The healer tapped his friend's chest twice, but his fleeting stare had a less conciliatory message. Finally he nodded briefly in farewell and left.

And that night was gone as the day that followed it, without anyone involved in these sad events able to forget the words that were said. Another day brought an implacable dawn, filling the sky with heavier clouds. The new evening fell dark before its regular time, and the blond warrior and his advisor friend were reunited again in the same library.

"Shouldn't you be at the training camp?" Erestor asked intrigued, watching the blond elf throw himself into the chair next to the table. "Were you discouraged by the dark clouds?"

Glorfindel shrugged, ignoring the provocation.

"There is not much to do. The small ones have already gone. Elrohir was the last one to leave."

"How is he?"

"Silent."

Erestor gave a bitter laugh. "Tell me something I do not know."

"Silence of fact. Impenetrable."

"What do you mean?"

"He barely looked at me. He spent the day repeating the same maneuvers over and over again. In fact, he seemed not to want me around, because he attended all my instructions without blinking and did not even react when I tried to push him."

"Well, I think you'll agree; the training he had at the shores at least seems to have given him some discipline."

"I suppose so…" Glorfindel looked out the window, thoughtful. Actually the clouds seemed too dark this evening. "I must admit that he is unrecognizable with sword in hand, quite concentrated, but far less audacious than before. He still won all the small clashes with opponents, including a laborious fight with Beinion, older than him, and one of the best of mine. What did they do to him there?"

"Caution is a good learning experience."

"I suppose so..." agreed the other elf again, without much enthusiasm.

"Well, at least his mind is occupied with something better than the insane ideas he was spouting yesterday."

That memory made Glorfindel rub his face with both hands. He had not seen Elrond again since the day before; he must seek him out soon. They had never quarreled, not even in worse situations, so he knew the curator would not be really hurt about the sincere comments he had heard, but he felt he owed his friend an apology.

"What about Elladan?" Erestor's voice woke him from the reverie he had lost himself in.

"I met him in the morning; after that I didn't see him anymore. Idhrenniel did not allow him to attend sword training, and he didn't want to practice the bow today."

"Did he not even go to see his twin's practicing?"

"No. Maybe he is a little upset at not being able to train, now that Elrohir is back to the field."

"Maybe ... What did he do all day?"

"He gave me the impression that he would be here or with Lady Idhrenniel."

"He was not here. Could he have finally accepted the lady healer's proposal to study with her as he cannot do with his father?"

Glorfindel let his head fall to the side, considering what Erestor had said. That scenario would be hard to believe. However, after what he had seen in the training camp today, after watching the always reticent and irritated younger twin behaving with caution and attention he never had before, he might believe any strange reaction these two brothers would have.

"All we can do is keep an eye on them. That costs nothing."

Celebrian also spent the day intrigued, and became even more intrigued when she entered the twins' bedroom and, for the second night in a row, found her eldest son alone.

"Has your brother not come to sleep yet, El-nîn?"

Elladan, who was already lying on his bed, merely shook his head negatively. He seemed as distant and saddened as he had been the day before; however, when he saw Lady Idhrenniel coming along with his mother he started to look worried.

"Have you quarreled?" Celebrian asked, sitting next to her son, not noticing his sudden pallor. "He was not at the table at lunch or dinner..."

The twin shook his head and his mother frowned, looking concerned at the youngest son's empty bed. Yesterday she was not able to wish him good night, because when she returned to the room, both were asleep, completely wrapped in their blankets.

"Did you take the food to him in the training camp as you promised me?" she asked, still thoughtful. She then looked back at her oldest son, whose face was down when he replied with a brief positive nod. "Why did he not want to be at the table with us for any meals, ion-nîn? Do you know?"

Elladan pressed his lips together and his shoulders stiffened. His reaction surprised his mother a bit, but then Celebrian thought she might have thought of the answer to her question herself.

"He doesn't want to be at the table without your father, does he?" she asked, and the rapid consent of the child this time seemed like an oddly unconvincing answer. The Elf-lady looked back with confusion at her youngest son bed. Something was troubling her and she was not able to figure out what it was.

Celebrian moved her eyes around the room a few times, as if searching for something that would give her a clue. Finally she took a deep breath, turning back to her firstborn. Only then she noticed something that had eluded her until then.

"You look tired, ion-nîn," she said, running her fingers across her child's cheek. "Glorfindel told me you did not want to train with his bow today. How did you spend your day?"

This time Elladan shrugged, not even looking at his mother, implying that he had not devoted his time to anything important. Celebrian stared at him one more time, and then she suddenly became aware of her rudeness, as she remembered the presence of Idhrenniel in the room. The Elf-healer waited in polite silence.

"Excuse me, Idhrenniel." Celebrian smiled, embarrassed, and she started undoing the ties of her son's tunic. To her surprise, however, her firstborn reacted in a way that he had not done recently. He wrapped his arms around his body instinctively, preventing her from continuing what she had come to do.

"Oh, ion-nîn," objected the Elf-lady, now impatient, as she tried in vain to continue her work. "No tricks, all right? We have already overcome this attitude of yours, haven't we? You know Idhrenniel is here today just as a precaution, and she has waited longer than necessary, especially since your injury no longer requires medication." She was surprised to see that this time, the child would not yield. "Come on, Elladan! Do not make a scene like this. You are no longer an elfling."

The twin did not respond, despite his mother's tone, which was now quite unhappy; but neither did he unfold his arms, which he'd woven around himself in protection.

Idhrenniel approached then, observing the young elf carefully.

"Let him be, ma'am," she advised in a conciliatory tone. "Yesterday his injury seemed fairly well. The wound has only improved in recent days, isn't that true, Elladan?"

The twin looked at her quickly, lowering his face again. His brief nod of positive response, however, brought a strange uneasiness to the experienced healer. She approached him, also sitting on the boy's bed.

"Elladan, tell me the truth and I'll give the peace you wish for tonight," she asked with subtlety and calm. "Is your injury bothering you? Does it feel different from yesterday?"

Now Elladan breathed deeply before shaking his head. His answer had come much too slowly, and that made the two elf-ladies exchange glances. Celebrian curved her golden eyebrows, and then she began to untie the bonds of her son's tunic, even with his apparent objection. Idhrenniel had no alternative but to help the lady of the house.

When Elrond entered the bedroom he was surprised to see his eldest son standing in a corner. Elladan's eyes widened when he saw him, and he turned away before the small dresser and mirror, closing his eyes.

This scene... This same scene again, Elrond thought, his heart heavy. He had already experienced this scene and did not like the sensation, or what came after it. He moved his eyes to Idhrenniel then, noticing her concern.

"It seems to me that Elladan's injury is bothering him again, Lord Elrond," she said, stepping forward, her eyes fixed on her patient's figure, but she did not move closer to him. "I asked your wife to call you, sir, because he is reluctant in receiving my help."

Elrond shook his head briefly. He had already heard that report from Celebrian, who had come to him, pale faced, in the library and pulled him away without listening to any of his objections. He frowned, looking at his son's distressed face and what he could read there. He sighed then, approaching and sitting on the bed.

"Come here, ion-nîn," he said, and Elladan simply closed his eyes, without moving, as if trying to pretend he had not heard the call. "Here, Elladan! Now!" Elrond raised a hand to emphasize to his son that the command was not to be ignored.

The twin took a deep breath, his eyes still closed, and Elrond gave him a little more time before parting his lips to repeat the call. However there was no need, since the boy moved slowly, stopping before his father, with his arms still folded around him.

Elrond looked at him intently, reading, even without touching the child, the pain that was hidden there. He did not understand.

"Open your shirt," he said and the twin shuddered. "Open it, Elladan!"

The young elf took a deep breath again, then let his arms fall, allowing his shirt, the ties of which his mother had already undone, to hang open. The extended wound, which persisted in tracing its way down the boy's chest and abdomen, became visible then, but now, with new evidence of an infection that should already be gone.

"What have you been doing?" Elrond frowned, confused. "Have you trained harder than you should have in the camping practice, or tried to bend the great bow you won from your mentor?"

Elladan did not respond, letting brief shakes of his head do the negative role of words he could not say.

"He was not at training camp," Celebrian said, stepping forward. "Just Elrohir trained with the sword today. I even saw him there when I passed that way this afternoon. Glorfindel told me that Elladan had not even wanted to train with a bow."

"Why, ion-nîn? Were you already feeling something wrong in the wound this morning?"

Elladan pressed his lips together. Elrond felt that something seemed to be bothering his son too much. Therefore, the slight positive nod the boy gave was more like an evasive answer than information. Elrond's eyes moved over the injury again, examining it from beginning to end and he lamented he could not touch him as a healer, like his instincts told him to do.

"What do you say, mellon-nîn?" Elrond then looked to the elf-healer, who was still standing near them, only a little closer.

Idhrenniel's dark eyes followed the path that Elrond's had, analyzing the wound carefully. She was an experienced healer, and Elrond felt that she already had a theory concerning this puzzle "Are you sure you did not train with the sword, Elladan?" were the lady-elf's words, whose eyes now looked for the twin's, despite his looking elsewhere. Again the young elf took a longer period of time than necessary to give them a slight shake of his head in the negative.

"He was not in the field," Celebrian repeated. "Just Elrohir."

Elrond listened to his wife's statement, glancing at her briefly. His eyebrows then made that characteristic movement again, as an absurd idea took hold in his mind, making him feel as if an icy waterfall was cascading down his spine.

"Elladan. Where is your brother?"

I'd like to thank every review I received since the first chapter from Evereren, SivanShemesh, Duilin, Messissamed, Metoochocolate, The Pearl Maiden, Elfinabottle, Raynagh, Pity-be, sbyte, Eliza61, Agie, Viresse, Patty P, HedgehogTheBlue, Faine Webbe. Hope you are still reading and enjoying the story.

I'd also wanted to thank my lovely beta Puxinette, without her I could not do this.