Call Girl, Male Model and Yacht Sinking

I sat Finn down. I decided to tell him about my problem with his parties. Rory was right, if I didn't say anything then it would just get worse. The only problem I had now was getting Finn to sit still for more than five minutes.

"How long is this going to take?" Finn asks me impatiently.

"Not long," I respond.

"I don't have all day," Finn says quickly.

"It's about your partying," I tell him.

"I said I'm sorry," Finn replies. "I promise not to throw four parties in one week again."

"That's not really the issue," I explain. "Do you know how you get when you're drunk?"

"I have fair idea," Finn replies. "And what's the problem?"

"You've passed out twice this week let alone," I tell him. "I've lost count of how many times I've had to carry you to your room."

"Just leave me where I fall," Finn says. "That's what my friends usually do."

"I just… I can't do that," I reply nervously.

"Why not?" Finn asks confused. "Just explain it to me Jess."

"My mom was a drunk," I tell him avoiding his eyes. "I used to take her back to her room, like I do with you. One night I left her where she was, face down… she threw up in the middle of the night, it was just lucky that I decided to head into the kitchen for a drink of water that night… I found her choking on her vomit. One night Finn… I left her where she was for one night and she nearly died."

"I'm sorry Jess," Finn says as he slings his arm around me. "If I knew… I'm sure I wouldn't have held as many parties."

"It's fine," I reply quickly.

"What do you want?" Finn questions me. "Do you want me to stop drinking?"

"No," I reply. "It's your life. Maybe you could just refrain from throwing parties here… and I guess not go to as many parties. See I can deal with you, but when you throw a party here… there are just so many drunken people… I can't watch them all."

"No one expects you to," Finn says comfortingly.

"I do," I reply. "I expect myself to look after others when they are like that… drunk."

"Okay," Finn says. "I will limit the partying and I will throw no more parties in this dorm unless it's important."

"Important?" I ask him doubtfully.

"Like one of our birthdays," Finn replies.

"Sure," I say knowing that I would be in the Hollow for my birthday. "That's fine. Thanks for understanding."

"Sure," Finn replies as the phone rings. "I'll get it."

Finn jumps up off the couch and puts the phone on speaker phone.

"Miss Gilmore's dorm of pleasure," Finn says cheekily. "How may we service you?"

"Finn?" Colin questions.

"Yeah," Finn replies and I lie down on the couch and close my eyes.

"Who is this Miss Gilmore?" Logan asks curiously.

"My roommate's girlfriend," Finn replies cockily. "And yes I did replace you guys."

"It wasn't our fault," Colin whines. "Your dad made us leave without you and he's scary."

"My dad's a teddy bear compared to Mitchum," Finn replies.

"You're right," Logan agrees with Finn. "We just didn't want you to come."

"Yeah," Colin says. "You cause trouble…"

"Well," Logan interrupts. "Maybe it isn't Finn who causes all the trouble."

"What happened?" Finn asks amused.

"We may have accidentally sunk the yacht," Colin replies.

"Nothing a little alcohol won't fix though," Logan supplies.

"Where are you?" Finn asks not being able to keep the smile out of his voice.

"Fiji," Colin replies. "I think… some island."

"Listen Finn mate," Logan says. "We were wondering if you could transfer us some money."

"Or maybe send us the Huntzberger helicopter," Colin suggests.

"I don't know," Finn replies. "I'm kind of busy at the moment."

"You're never busy," Logan snaps.

"Logan," Colin warns. "Be nice, Finn holds our fate in his hands."

"Sorry," Logan says sarcastically.

"I know," Finn says excitedly. "Fiji's close to Australia."

"Really?" Colin asks happily.

"Yeah," Finn replies. "It's just across a stretch of water."

"How long of a stretch of water?" Logan asks skeptically.

"Oh not that long," Finn replies amused. "Anyway, you make it to Australia and I'll hook you up with a ride home… deal?"

"Deal," Colin says quickly.

"Wait," Logan says. "How far exactly… and where in Australia do we have to go?"

"Well I would say Perth just to piss you guys off, but Sydney… though if you make it to my hometown of Melbourne, I'll send you first class," Finn explains.

"What class is it if we only make it to Sydney?" Colin questions.

"Economy," Finn replies amused.

"Oh no," Colin says disgusted.

"And how far is it?" Logan asks getting angry.

"Oh," Finn replies. "Only about 3,500 km's, plus a little bit… and that's across water by the way."

"Wait," Logan says. "It's quicker to go to Hawaii, then Australia."

"I know," Finn replies amused. "But is Hawaii going to get you a flight home?"

"I hate you Finn," Logan says. "I swear when… if we get back home, you're going to get it."

"Alright mate," Finn responds. "Any death threats from you Colin."

"No," Colin says quickly. "Thanks for your help."

"My pleasure," Finn says as he disconnects the call. "That's what you get for not taking me on the yacht," Finn says to no one in particular as he lifts my legs up and joins me on the couch.

"So?" I question Finn. Surely now that his roommates were coming back I would have to move out.

"What?" Finn asks confused.

"Do I have to move out?" I ask him slightly disappointed, Finn's dramatic ways were growing on me and Rory seemed to like him.

"Nah mate," Finn replies excitedly. "You can stay for the rest of the year as promised, though I have to tell you that Logan and Colin can be a… handful, if it gets too much for you then I will help you find another place."

"Thanks," I say. "So how long do you think it will take them to get to Australia?"

"A week or so," Finn answers. "It all depends on how fast they can find a boat."

"I see, so about a week of freedom." I reply.

"Yeah," Finn agrees. "Enjoy it while you can."

"No," Rory says walking into the dorm talking on her phone. "No… no… no."

Rory sits down in the chair across from us and hands me the phone.

"Yes," I say into the phone.

"Jess," Lorelai says happily. "How is my favorite son?"

"Umm, good," I reply shocked. "But I'm not your son you know."

"Well not biologically," Lorelai says. "But I'd say that we are close enough for me to call you son."

"Luke doesn't even call me son," I tell her.

"So," Lorelai replies. "Doesn't mean that I can't."

"Fine," I relent. "So how's the Hollow."

"Good, good," Lorelai replies. "Jess?"

"Yes," I answer.

"When are you coming home?" Lorelai asks me.

"I don't know," I reply. "Why?"

"Because I miss you," Lorelai says sadly.

"Hmmm," I reply. "I think that's just your pregnant excessive hormones talking, not to mention your total lack of caffeine."

"No," Lorelai says sure of herself. "I like you."

"Hmmm, okay," I say trying to figure out whether or not she was joking. "So how's Milo? He's not giving you any trouble is he?"

"No, he's fine," Lorelai replies. "Spends the day on the streets of Stars Hollow annoying Taylor and then comes home and sleeps on your bed… he's a good dog."

"That's good," I say relieved.

"So, what's going on with you?" Lorelai asks me. "How's Yale?"

"Good, I guess," I answer. "Finn's roommates are coming home sooner than expected."

"What?" Lorelai and Rory say at the same time.

"Seems as though they managed to sink a multi-million dollar yacht," I explain.

"How did they manage that?" Lorelai asks impressed.

"I'm guessing it involved alcohol," I answer.

"Alcohol," Finn says out loud remembering. "Rory, Jess told me about his mom."

"…to be living?" Lorelai finishes.

"Sorry," I ask her. "I'm trying to follow two conversations at once."

"I asked where you were going to be living," Lorelai repeats.

"Here, for now," I reply. "We'll see how it works out, but I've got until the end of this year to figure out my living arrangements for the next school year."

"Okay, that's good," Lorelai says relieved. "Just remember if things get tough or if you need a break you can come back home."

"Thanks," I reply. "And I might just have to take you up on that."

"So I will be seeing you soon then?" Lorelai asks excitedly.

"Not sure," I reply. "I'll head down as soon as I can… you do realize that I was there yesterday right?"

"Yesterday, really?" Lorelai says in mock confusion. "I could've sworn it was... well doesn't matter it feels way longer."

"Is this conversation even remotely weird for you?" I ask her in disbelief.

"No," Lorelai replies. "You're like the son I never had."

"Okay," I say, it sounded oddly sane.

"Hey Jess," Lorelai begins. "Do you play soccer?"

"What?" I ask her confused.

"I've always wanted someone in the family who is good at sports," Lorelai explains. "So do you play?"

"No," I respond.

"Could you learn?" Lorelai asks me hopefully.

"Wouldn't it be a little late for that?" I ask her confused. "Wait I'm smart isn't that enough?"

"No," Lorelai says and I can imagine her pouting. "Please Jess, play sports for me."

"Stop being a pageant mom," I tease her.

"Pageant… beauty pageant," Lorelai muses out loud. "Jess?"

"No," I answer quickly. "No way in hell."

"How about male modeling?" Lorelai asks me.

"Umm," I respond. "Hang on I've got another call… I'll be right back."

"Hurry," Lorelai pleads.

I hang up Rory's phone and throw it back at her.

"What's up with your mom?" I ask her confused.

"So, it wasn't just me," Rory says relieved. "What did she try and make you do?"

"Soccer," I respond. "And then male modeling."

"Good," Rory says. "I think she was hinting at me quitting Yale and becoming a call girl."

"Now that would be interesting," Finn says to Rory. "How much do you charge… because I'm loaded?"

"I'm too expensive for you," Rory tells Finn as she gets up and does a sexy walk to the door.

"Blasphemy," Finn responds as Rory leaves and I let out a small laugh. "How much does she charge you?" Finn accuses me.

"Well I get family rates," I tell Finn. "So… free."

"The world is out to get me," Finn says shaking his head in disbelief.