Week 34: He Who Carries His Burdens On His Arms
Part 1/3
"Iron, Steel. You can't look at them as two separate things. Sure you either have one or the other, but a mistborn. I always dream of being a mistborn. Being able to push and pull on metals, I just wish I knew what it was like to be able to use the other half of this power. To feel the power my brother has. We're like two sides of the same coin, always together but never really understanding what the other side is." – Soltek.
Clang. Clang.
Kelsier groaned, his hands moving to cover his ears from the crescendo of noise coming from the morning bells. His fingers caught themselves in his beard, now large and massive from the months he had spent not shaving. He gave a quick curse as he pulled a few hairs trying to get his hands free of the hairy monstrosity.
He had always wondered how Alex and the others managed to keep their faces somewhat shaven although given what had happened these past months he had not managed to get around to asking anyone how they were able to do so.
Slowly Kelsier allowed his eyes to open to the sight of Kiana and Haden both holding their own hands to their ears, eyes squeezed shut against the coming light, the strands of sunlight heralding the dawn of a new day of torture. What else could he do? What else could any of them do?
Sometimes you have to look at the best in things Kelsier.
A whisper in his mind, so familiar but the voice it belonged to seemed so distant and forgotten. Who? Who told him that? Ham? Breeze? No, Alex? Who was he forgetting?
His eyes flicked left then right, darting back and forth as he tried to remember, but try as he might, his mind could barely conjure an image. Was he losing himself? Would he lose everyone given enough time in this place?
"Kelsier." Haden's voice penetrated through the haze, gentle almost like a father calling to a son.
Hands clasped around his own and he felt his hands come away from his ears, he could almost feel Mare's soft and tender hands around his own. He looked up, hope in his eyes but he was met with Kiana's tender blue eyes. They were not Mare's. A pit formed in his stomach as Kelsier fought back the disappointment that even to this day still surprised him.
"I'm fine." He heard himself say. Reluctantly Kiana left his side, and spoke a few words to Haden. He spoke a few words back before Kianna nodded her head once and left.
Haden turned to his own personal belongings he had scavenged from his time in the pits and began to gather them up. Gathering his own willpower Kelsier rose from his cot, his bones ached from the lack of nourishment he had received over the past few months. He was tired every day, pushing his body every day to go even further, and he had started to feel the weight of his actions upon him.
"Haden." Kelsier called out as he scratched his oversized beard once more.
"Hmm?" Haden responded as he tightened the laces on his torn boots.
"How do you keep your beard so short?" Kelsier asked, "I've been wondering why barely anyone around here has a large beard?"
"You mean overgrown bush on their face?" Haden corrected.
Kelsier spared a thought for a moment before agreeing.
"Quite simple." Haden said as he reached behind him with one hand. "We simply cut it." As Haden drew his arm out, a short blade, only a half a finger long and barely a finger wide and thick. "Crude, yes." Haden continued as he offered the blade to Kelsier. "But considering the alternative is walking around with an oversized bush or having it pulled off while you are in the pits, I would say the decision becomes quite clear."
Kelsier took the blade, his finger drawing across the crude rusting blade. It was rough, barely even sharp and it was missing a handle. Still, considering the alternative Kelsier agreed with Haden.
He lifted the blade to his own face and Haden went back to his own chores.
The point of the blade stopped at his neck and Kelsier hesitated. The blade was positioned at his vein, even if it didn't kill, the blade itself would surely contaminate the wound. Would it really be worth it? To end it all here and now? His stomach growled from the lack of food it had received. Maybe it was finally time to just give up. Wouldn't death be better than the pits?
Kelsier felt his arm begin to wobble, weak from the early morning and lack of food it couldn't keep the blade up any longer and he reluctantly let his arm fall to his lap.
He couldn't do it. He knew he wouldn't be able to do it, not even if he really wanted to. That wasn't who he was. Besides, Kelsier had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he would never admit. He almost felt like he wouldn't be allowed to die.
"Only when you have watched your dreams break, your will shatter, only when you're mind has broken so far that you see the deaths of every single person, every single thing you love. Only then will you die."
"Why do you fight?" Doxtun asked.
"What do you mean?" Kelsier replied confused.
"When you were back in Luthadel, why did you oppose the nobles? The Lord Ruler. Why did you fight?"
Kelsier stood in silence as he thought. It was easy to anyone why he did what he did so why did Doxtun need him to tell him.
"I fought because I wanted to. Because it was what I was good at." Kelsier replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Doxtun shook his head at his answer, "No, that's not it. Are you really telling me that you of all people Kelsier stooped to theft because you felt like it? You would risk the lives of your friends because you got some personal enjoyment? Surely you would have stopped when you had attained the title of greatest thief, unless it was something more personal then you're admitting."
Those words seemed to trigger something inside Kelsier. He remembered his desires, the people begging him to stop. He remembered his mother, dead. The Lord Ruler staring at him in condemnation, Mare's pleading gaze as he was taken away.
"I fight because I want to hurt him Dox." Kelsier said coldly. "Because my mother died because of those monsters. My family was destroyed because of their disgusting rules. Yes every heist was personal to me Doxtun, because taking something from them was the only way for me to strike back at them."
"So it's vengeance then." Doxtun stated. "Kelsier, I've seen you, I've watched the way you are these past few months and I know for sure that that isn't why you fought. You've lost sight of what it is that you once fought for, maybe you just never realized it in the first place. Maybe it was that at first but now, I know that motivation wasn't the reason you kept on doing it."
"You're assuming I'm different from the rest of people here." Kelsier retorted.
"Of course. Look Kelsier, look at them. We aren't like them Kell." Doxtun exclaimed, waving his hand out towards the countless skaa out in the ash. Kelsier looked, here and there Skaa bickered amongst one another, a fight broke out and no one bothered to spare a glance at who the potential victor may be. Others threw hostile glares at one another, none allowing for a moment to drop their guard around another prisoner.
"We" Doxtun pressed his hand against his own chest for emphasis. "We know the truth. We don't have to hold on to these petty and meaningless arguments. Fights that serve no purpose at all. We both know, that there is no escape. We are going to die here Kelsier. Those stories aren't just stories, we both know that."
'You're right." Kelsier retorted. "So why bother fighting at all. Back in Luthadel I made a difference. Every crime I committed, every treasure I took lead to something else. If there's nothing left then why should we even bother trying to survive?"
There was no answer and Kelsier look towards his friend, standing in the dusty light. The man looked at him, sorrow in his eyes and yet there was also peace.
"Alex once told me." He said slowly. "It is in our very nature to never surrender. We may fight to the end of our days, but not because of some petty argument, but because we believe in deep within our souls that what we are doing is right."
The ash compressed underneath the man's feet as he walked up to Kelsier, his arm felt heavy as Doxtun rested it on Kelsier's shoulder.
"If we're going to die anyway. Isn't it better to live our lives in whatever happiness we can find? Is it worth, wasting away the last few weeks of our lives to a petty hatred that serves no purpose? The Lord Ruler sent us here to die Kelsier, to die miserably and in pain. So why not just deny him that satisfaction. You should try and be happy instead of holding onto old grudges, or else you are just surrendering. You ask me why we should still keep on trying to survive."
Doxtun cupped Kelsier's chin his hand and turned it to the left so he had a clear view at a small clearing between the tents.
"For you my friend. That is why."
Mare tripped as she came into view and Kelsier instinctively moved forward but something caught him. Slowly Kelsier turned around and walked away letting Doxtun's arm fall from his shoulder.
He blinked twice trying to stop a tear coming to his eyes.
"AH!" A scream pierced through the air, the mumbling in the mess tent didn't break as the prisoner collapsed onto the blood encrusted ground. His flimsy bowl filled with what could be described as some form of stew and maggots hit the solid earth overturning and spilling its contents out onto the ground.
The prisoner tried to get up, one arm pressing palm down onto the surface. His other hand however lay limp at his side, bent at an awkward angle, parts of bone could be seen protruding from the skin of the arm he had used in an attempt to shield himself.
The prisoner, a male who had probably reached his adult age a few years ago bled from fresh cut that spanned across his face. A tooth fell out of his mouth into the blood and ash below him, and yet still not one person paid attention to the altercation occurring before them.
Kelsier's eyes had been drawn from when he had first noticed the man complain about the contents of the food. He understood the man's complaints, his own stomach grumbled as he shoved the minuscule portion of what could be called food into his mouth. However he, like the rest of the tent just sat at their places keeping out of the outcome they knew was coming.
It was when the taskmaster walked in that Kelsier turned his head away. They didn't learn, and he couldn't understand why they just could not learn.
Not wanting to see anymore, Kelsier got up and left the tent. His ears caught the sound of the man begging from the people around him. Kelsier didn't have to turn to know that no one even bothered to glance at the man. He was clearly new here. He hadn't learned that no one cared about you.
"But I care Kelsier." Her voice came from behind.
Kelsier spun immediately his eyes scanning his surroundings but she wasn't there. It was just the mess tent, nothing else. Why did he keep on hearing her voice? Where was she?
"Ragg!" Doxtun's voice came out of nowhere and Kelsier immediately ducked between a few nearby tents. He waited for a few moments before peeking around, his eyes setting on a lone man who had stopped walking and another man approaching him. Ragg and Doxtun.
"What are you doing here Dox?" Ragg asked suspiciously.
"I could ask you the same thing." Dox replied unfazed.
Ragg's eyes narrowed and Kelsier remembered the first time he had been on the receiving end of that stare. Like iron spikes being driven point first into his being, how Kelsier couldn't imagine could make a man's eye drive such force into a person. Yet, Doxtun stood his ground, the only other one he had ever seen do that had been Alex.
"Has it come to the point where you can't even trust me anymore Ragg?" Doxtun asked.
"These days I'm finding it harder and harder to trust those around me." Ragg responded. Ragg seemed to stare off into emptiness for a moment before shiting back to reality.
"So is there a reason you came for me?" he asked, his tone less dangerous then it had been before.
Doxtun sighed as he passed a hand through his hair. "Alex and Kar are at it again. I suggest you help him out, that fool is going to kill himself if he keep this up."
Ragg's lips tightened as his fists clenched together in anger. "I don't know why, Alex insists on protecting him. You know full well that things would have been better if he just let him die. We have enough problems of our own."
"So what is the difference between you and him then Ragg?" Doxtun retorted.
"It is all his fault!" Ragg burst, his voice filled with anger and hatred. Realizing what he had just done, Ragg began to take deep breaths to calm himself down. "Sorry." He muttered.
"Are you going to leave him?" Doxtun asked.
"Of course not." Ragg responded. "But it would be best if we got rid the dead weight."
Silence filled the air for a few moments as Ragg's words whispered away. Finally he broke it. "Well, where is it?" he asked irritably.
"Where we found you."
Ragg took off at a sprint only managing to move a few steps before stopping and looking back at Doxtun. "Are you coming?"
Doxtun looked around his eyes seemingly scanning the surrounding area before he shook his head and took off with Ragg. Kelsier huddled between the folds of the tent trying to make himself invisible as the two headed off. It looked like he wasn't going to be meeting Doxtun anytime soon.
His stomach growled but he forced himself to ignore it. It was getting worse and worse each day he didn't know how-
Two guards walked past him, dressed in full iron with spears in hand. They spoke together in normal voices, not paying notice to any of the prisoners who rushed off to the side to let them pass. What caught his attention however was what one of the guards had been doing.
In one hand the guard on the left had their spear, in the other hand a loaf of bread almost a quarter the length of Kelsier's arm.
His eyes caught hold of the bread and refused to let go. It was hard to imagine that a piece of bread such as that one could look as appetizing as a full course noble meal and yet Kelsier stomach begged for it. His feet shifted in the direction of the guards and his hands rose in longing but his mind stopped him. They were guards, it was suicide to try something, especially for a loaf of bread.
The guard eating tripped over something in the ash causing him to lose balance. His food hand opened dropped the bread onto the dirty ground as he caught himself on his spear with both hands. "Blasted skaa." The man cursed angrily, "Should do their damned jobs right!" The man continued to mutter as he picked up his loaf of bread now covered in ash and dirt and what looked to be a bit of blood.
"That is disgusting." The second guard said as the first guard examined it.
"Yeah." He muttered before tossing it behind him and continuing to walk.
The moment the bread was in the air Kelsier couldn't stop himself, he took off, charging towards the airborne piece. His mind seemed to blank out as his primal instincts took control, he had to get it. Everything blurred around him, only the bread, the glorious bread seemed clear.
Something moved in front of him, he couldn't tell who, it didn't matter. All Kelsier needed to know was the thing was reaching for his bread. He couldn't allow that.
Kelsier leaped into the air, one hand catching the bread as it fell, the other pushing the other creatures hand away. The moment his hand closed around the piece he pulled is hands into his chest and curled up into a ball, hitting the ground into a roll, hugging the bread protectively like a new born child.
Confident that he had obtained his meal, Kelsier looked up at the thing that had tried to steal his meal. A young boy with a shocked expression on his face looked at Kelsier in terror. In response Kelsier growled protectively as he pulled out the bread and sunk his teeth into the loaf. It was hard and slightly cold but it broke under his teeth. The taste was amazing, explosions seemed to go off within his mind, the world itself to seem to brighten up. Then the taste turned to ash.
What am I doing? Kelsier asked himself. Horrified Kelsier looked down at the piece of bread in his hands, covered in dirt, blood, ash and whatever other substances littered the ground around this area. It was repulsive and yet his stomach yearned for it.
He looked at the boy, not even a man who seemed to only be around sixteen years of age, only skin and bones with barely any meat on him and yet there he stood in front of Kelsier with the most terrified expression his face. What did he look like to that boy? What type of monster did he think he had encountered?
In the distance Kelsier heard one of the guard's say, "Sometimes it makes it all worthwhile watching these savages scour for the scraps." He heard the shift of iron as they began walking again away from Kelsier and the boy.
Time passed as the two looked at each other in silence. Slowly Kelsier offered the rest of the bread to the boy but the moment his hand began to move the boy scuttled away, the same terrified look on his face staring back at the thief.
Am I really that scary?
He broke contact, he couldn't meet the boy's eyes. Slowly placed the remainder of the bread on the ground and rose to his feet. He turned and walked away, he didn't need the sound of shifting dirt and ash to know the boy had gone for the bread the moment he thought it was safe.
Is this really how I want to live? Those words echoed in his mind as he walked away.
Kelsier struggled to breathe as he ascended back up from the pits, his hands brushing against familiar patterns within the jagged walls of the earth. Fresh blood ran down from both new and reopening wounds, his hands as they climbed poured the warm liquid of life onto his hair and face which would have made it harder to see if not for the fact that it was nearly impossible to see anything within the darkness.
His hands were empty, having been unable to find a geode. His mind still tried to understand what he had encountered from the last few times he had attempted to scour the few pockets he had found for a geode.
He had encountered pockets that were empty, places that may have contained one but had been taken, in fact he had encountered those many times. But the pockets he had encountered the last few times were different. They didn't feel empty instead they felt like they were full of sharp metal like objects. The buds that he had grown used to feeling around inside the crevices felt as if they had been broken and deformed. It just did not make any sense.
His hands brushed against smooth metal, a flower like design with its petals circling inwards into a hole just large enough for a human arm. Another opening. Kelsier didn't let himself think, he would not allow himself to think. He just acted before his mind attempted to convince himself otherwise.
Pain erupted in his mind as his right arm plunged into the hole before him. The pincer like blades surrounding the hole ripped through his flesh once more, the feeling of pain that had numbed over time flared back to life. Still he pressed on, his fingers stretching outwards, desperately searching. This one had to be different, he didn't feel any sort of anomaly he had felt from the previous few he had searched.
He moved further in, the muscles of his arm begged for him to stop but he would not give in.
Please. Stop. A voice said, so real that Kelsier almost paused but he felt another much stronger voice intercede.
No.
I can't go on like this.
Everything requires a sacrifice.
I have to persevere.
His fingers brushed against a familiar object. Kelsier felt his breath catch in his throat. Could it be? He pushed his fingers further, tracing the object back to his base, his hand managing to enclose the object entirely confirming his hopes. A Hathsin geode.
There can only be ruin.
Kelsier only had a moment to realize something was very wrong before the geode in his hand, or more specifically the bud that had grown the geode suddenly exploded. The geode that he tried to hold onto he could feel crack and shatter from the force, knocking his hand back against the walls of the crevice. He could feel the shrapnel from the metal like objects rip through his skin, the ring of teeth digging further into his arm as it was forced to the side and he could feel from the remnants of the geode that had been in his hand that there was an object, small and ball like from what Kelsier could tell momentarily before he lost feeling of it.
He gritted his teeth and tried find it, pushing his arm around desperately to find whatever that object may be but it was in vain. In the darkness with no vision, his mind blurred with pain trying to find an object that might be from his brief moment of touching it be smaller than his knuckle.
Anger filled his body as he yanked his arm out of the hole, no longer feeling any pain and slammed his fist into the rock wall. He felt something crack and a flaring pain erupt from his fingers as his mind suddenly cleared up.
So stupid!
Kelsier didn't need sight to know that his right hand fingers might have just been fractured from the tantrum he just had.
I just…don't know what to do. I'm so lost…so…lost.
Unable to think clearly Kelsier continued on his ascent back to the entrance of the pits.
The sun was still up by the time Kelsier managed to pull himself out of the pits. Every bone in his body hurt as he just collapsed onto the rocky surface outside of the pits. He had barely managed to make it out, his right hand fingers had been unable to support his weight for most of the climb forcing him to rely on his other limbs more so. Still he was alive.
People passed by him, other prisoners not bothering to spare a glance. Some headed in and some headed out each one with their own personal mission. No one cared about some random prisoner lying out around the pits, and so for a short time Kelsier seemed to exist within his own little world.
"Are you done wallowing Kell?" Doxtun's voice asked from in front.
Kelsier raised his head, his eyes barely opening to see the big man standing before him, hands crossed. Kelsier groaned in response and lowered his head back to the floor. It was just too comfortable and he didn't have the energy for anything else.
"Okay. Let's go." He heard Doxtun say. A few moments later he felt strong arms around his body begin to pull him over and try and help him to his feet.
"Lord Ruler what happened?" Doxtun's sudden outburst threw Kelsier out of his stupor and forced him to open his eyes.
At first his vision was a blur, having been closed for so long but slowly the ground came into focus. He rotated his head over and saw his left arm. The familiar crisscross shaped cuts and scars greeted him, both old and fresh his arm was covered in blood. The familiar metal piece that had been lodged into his arm was still there, bent so far that it seemed like it was a part of the skin. He didn't understand what had caused the reaction he had heard.
Doxtun tried to place him up on his feet but Kelsier's legs wouldn't hold. His head felt warm and fuzzy for some reason and he felt his body swaying in the big man's arms. He felt his body make contact with something solid, he assumed something thought would help him stand.
Kelsier raised his head up to meet Doxtun's face but the man's eyes were focused, his lip pursed together as he seemed to work, his arms seemed to fly through the air as he took hold of Kelsier's right arm.
Raising an eyebrow Kelsier adjusted his ahead to look at what Doxtun was looked at. Suddenly he wished he hadn't.
Kelsier's right arm looked like if he recalled the expression Sazed had used before, like it had gone through a meat grinder. It was hard to see any skin from the amount of blood and tender exposed flesh he saw. His arm while looked similar to his left suffered from deeper cuts which explained the immense blood loss he was feeling at the moment. Blood gushed forward and out and Doxtun was busy trying to wrap some makeshift bandages around the wound.
His hand on the other hand seemed unrecognizable as well. Bits of bones was visible from between the torn flesh but most importantly, metal pieces of shrapnel had lodged themselves in his hands, the familiar pattern he had grown used to seeing on his arms had never really managed to cut his hands as badly but at first glance it was easy to tell that his right hand was going to have its own set of patterns soon enough.
I'm fine. Kelsier tried to say. His mind echoed those words but he mouth merely let out a few unrecognizable sounds.
"Don't waste your energy talking Kelsier." Doxtun said, tying the bandage around his arm. Already it was damp and soaked red with blood.
"Kelsier?" Another voice called out uncertainly. Then when it recognized him, "By the Bretani, Kelsier!" Someone who cursed by one of the older religions, Sazed would have been delighted.
Someone knelt down beside him, one touch told him it was Kiana. He had enough feeling in his body to recognize the hard muscular but strangely feminine touch of the woman.
"Who are you?" He heard Kiana ask angrily but the voices seemed to mix together.
"I could ask the same of you."
"Did you do this?"
"Would it not be more prudent to save his life first before throwing accusations?"
"You will give me a clear answer when this is dealt with."
The voices continued speaking as the words began to blur within Kelsier's mind. He felt so tired, like an immense pressure was just sitting on his shoulders. Suddenly Kelsier felt his face pressing against something hard. Strange, he didn't remember moving.
This feels so much better, I wish I could just stay here forever. Just me and…
Kelsier's eyes snapped open.
The familiar ceiling of his tent filled his vision. His neck hurt, stiff from the lack of movement he raised his left hand to his neck and tried rubbing it.
"I see you are awake." The voice Kelsier's mother seemed to brush across the air.
Kelsier paused mid rub. He tried getting up, struggling to sit upright in his cot. He didn't bother looking around, he wouldn't see her anyway. After months of searching the voice had to be inside his own head. He had to be imagining it, after all if he couldn't see the person then clearly that person wasn't real.
"Kelsier? Are you mad at me?" She asked in a concerned voice.
If you respond it will only be worse. Kelsier told himself. He desperately wanted to it to be real but he couldn't believe it.
Arms wrapped around his neck as he felt a body hug him from behind. Kelsier tensed up in response but his body slowly relaxed against his own will. It knew those hugs, it had desperately missed them since the day he had seen his mother killed. He couldn't take it anymore, he gave in.
"Why can't I see you?" Kelsier asked, his anger stifled but still evident in his voice.
"You can see me." She replied, trying comfort her son. "But not yet." She added hastily as Kelsier tried to turn his head. "First I need you to do something. Something very important. I need you to take those geodes you find and I need you to gather them."
"The Hathsin Geodes?" Kelsier asked confused. "Why?"
"They have the power for you to become something more, something capable of setting me free."
"Free?" Kelsier tried shifting around again, but once against he was unable too. "What do you mean?"
He felt his mother hesitate, strange how he could feel it through her arms and the way she didn't immediately respond.
"I am…trapped here Kelsier." She started off slowly. "Slowly fading away, I need your help. I need you to break open as many geodes as possible and swallow their contents. The reason you can't see me Kelsier is because my body is unstable. I need you to give me a body, I need you to set me free and I think this will do it."
What is she saying? Trapped? I can set her free. What is this place really?
"And what about Mare?" Kelsier asked. "I can't very well gather geodes when they're hard enough to find as is and I can't do it while I'm dead.
"Mare betrayed you Kelsier." His mother responded. "She will betray you again. You will find a way Kelsier. You always have. I have faith in you."
Kelsier sat in silence for short while as he thought about her words. Mare a traitor, his mother trapper within the pits of hathsin. None of this made sense, nothing had made sense since he had come here. Finally he asked, "Can I trust you?"
"Of course." Kiana's voice immeditly responded.
Kelsier spun around, his head going dizzy from the sudden movement. Kiana walked towards him, Doxtun beside her and Haden behind him. The tent entrance flapped close as Haden entered, the man had a fresh cut along his cheek, and beside him walked a boy who looked somewhat familiar.
"Glad to see your awake Kelsier." Doxtun said as he sat down next to him, his hands moving towards his bandages.
Suddenly Kelsier realized he was sitting on his cot, with no clothes on. His face snapped his arms and legs, the light linen cloth that the cot had come with as covering covered up to his stomach but his entire upper body was exposed. His arms and hands were covered in blood soaked makeshift bandages but for some reason he was feeling a lot more alert.
"Strange." Doxtun said as he checked the bandages on his arms. "You're wounds have healed a lot better than I would have expected." The surprise in his voice was enough to make Kelsier look himself. Sure enough the cuts he had had on his arm had stopped bleeding and seemed to have scabbed over.
"The bones in your hand too." Doxtun continued in disbelief. "Lord Ruler, they're not perfect but they might be usable."
"What?" Kiana exclaimed as she rushed over to confirm for herself. "That's impossible."
"Apparently not." Haden responded.
Starting to feel uncomfortable Kelsier tried to change the subject. He saw the boy near Haden and asked, "What's with the boy?"
The boy looked at him, where had he seen his face before. He was frail, all skin and bone and young enough to have be running around and enjoying his life before he had to deal with the harsh realities of the final empire.
Those eyes that looked at him, they looked at him in surprise and a slight bit of amazement and awe. Shame filled Kelsier as he broke contact and shifted his head away.
"We got jumped by some of Kar's men." Haden said. "This boy helped us out while we were carrying you back. Maer was with them, seems they blamed you for Wraden's death. I'm not really one to complain when someone offers help."
Kelsier absorbed the words, nothing he said told him why the boy was still here. He tilted his head up and a sharp jolt of pain burst in his neck. He grunted as he began rubbing it once again. "I don't remember my neck by like this."
"That's because you're crazy Kelsier." Kiana replied.
"I'm with her on that." Doxtun agreed.
Kelsier raised an eyebrown when no one bothered to elaborate.
"Basically, when we got jumped." Haden explained. "The boy who was with us at the time was about to get hit by a rod. You intercepted and took the hit to the head, I'm surprised you don't remember."
Well that explains why he's still here. At least I think it does.
"If you're going to be staying here I can't keep calling you boy." Kelsier said. Slowly Kelsier swung his legs over his cot and tried to get up. Doxtun quickly tossed his torn pants at him making Kelsier remember that he was indeed still naked underneath. Slightly embarrassed, Doxtun helped him put his pants on before helping him off his cot.
Relying on Doxtun to support him while he legs got used to him walking again Kelsier walked over to the boy.
"My name is Kelsier." Kelsier said holding out a hand.
The boy looked at his hand and then back at him and instantly Kelsier knew who the boy was. He had seen him earlier, it was the same boy whom he had nearly attacked over the loaf of bread the guard had thrown.
"My name is Bren." The boy said. The boy clutched his hands tightly together he pursed his lips together as if trying to figure out what he wanted to say.
"My parents always taught me to always pay back my debts. Those who helped me, I should help in return." Slowly the boy pulled something out of his trousers, something that made Kelsier's eyes narrow.
"You gave me that bread when I was starving and again when that man was about to hit me. I think I would have died from either of those. So, here." He thrust out his hand, a Hathsin geode in hand. Kelsier looked at it and then at the boy.
Something within Kelsier compelled him to speak. "I can't…I can't take that."
You need it.
The boy's eye tightened as his face took on a stern expression. "Yes." Was all he said, but his eyes, Kelsier looked into those eyes and he saw something else. Something that was missing in this place that made him unable to refuse. Hope.
"Where are you from?" Kelsier asked taking the geode in hand. The boy visibly seemed to relax after it was taken from him
"Tristing Plantation" The boy replied.
Kelsier's heart skipped a beat and he almost dropped the geode.
"Tristing…?" Kelsier asked, wondering if he had misheard.
"Tristing." Bren confirmed.
"Themos Tristing?" Kelsier asked once again.
"Yes."
Kelsier grabbed the rest of his clothes and got dressed, leaving the tent in a rush. Doxtun rushed after him trying to keep pace with the once injured man. Kelsier walked at a brisk pace, none of his wounds pained him, and his mind was only on one thing.
"Kelsier!" Doxtun exclaimed as he tried to keep pace. "What happened?"
"Did I ever tell you my house name Doxtun?" Kelsier asked.
"No, I thought you were a skaa?"
"Half" Kelsier said disgusted. "My house name is Tristing." The very words were foul upon his tongue, he spat each one out as if they were poison. "Themos Tristing was my father's brother."
Doxtun's hand grabbed Kelsier's and he felt himself forced to a stop. It felt so wrong, Kelsier just wanted to be moving but for some reason Doxtun forced him to stop. Kelsier turned to confront him but he his Doxtun cut him off before he began.
"I understand what you're feeling Kelsier. Are you just planning on wandering around aimlessly?"
"I have to do something." Kelsier fired back.
"Why?" Doxtun asked.
"Huh?" Kelsier responded puzzled.
"Why do you fight!"
"I told you why" Kelsier retorted. "Because-"
"You want to hurt them, I know." Doxtun interjected. "But we both know that's not true."
Angrily Kelsier pulled his arm free and continued walking. He didn't know where he just had to keep moving. Behind him Kelsier could tell Doxtun was keeping pace.
Why?
If it wasn't vengeance, if it wasn't for my own personal glory what else could it be? I'm here admitting to my own selfishness and he's telling me that I'm wrong. Mare, how I wish I could talk to you. Things always seemed so much clearer with you by my side. Whether it be right or wrong, I never had any doubts, had any regrets. I knew that what I, no what we needed to do, because you always guided me.
Yet I know you're here, here and now yet still so far away. I just wish I knew what it was that I should be doing. I wish I knew, why I fought.
Kelsier felt his feet stop walking, he had been so busy thinking that he hadn't actually bothered paying attention to where his feet had been taking him. He was lucky he hadn't walked into anyone or anything, but then again it had felt like he had been guided here.
Kelsier looked up, the guard building stood before him. Guards on either side of the entrance, armed with spears, the weapons however did not lend themselves to the guards' appearance. These guards were dressed in simple plate, with snippets of clothing hanging out between the empty spaces. They lodged on the butts of their weapons not even paying attention to their surroundings, one ate a fresh loaf of bread the other had a piece of meat in hand. The two on duty talked to each other not even noticing Kelsier standing before them as they scarfed on their food. The smell alone made Kelsier's stomach pang in hunger.
Ham would be disgusted. Kelsier thought to himself. Looking around it seemed the same for everything here in the pits. People who just lazed around in tattered clothing's, starving, looking in desperation for some hope of survival. Each prisoner here had to stoop to murder if they wanted to survive, and even then it wasn't enough. This place was disgusting, but they couldn't do anything about it. The only ones who could were the ones in front who acted like they're lives didn't matter. They may be skaa, but they mattered all the same.
Kelsier fist tightened around his geode, his knuckles turning white as he felt his muscles tense. They made him angry. These nobles with their sense of self-righteousness. They made them suffer, they even enjoyed it.
The door to the outpost opened and another guard stepped out laughing. In his hands he had some type of custard, half eaten from the looks of it.
"The convoy brought some good stuff." The guard called to the other two.
"Finally some good food." One of the guards responded. "This place is one of the most boring and useless places to be posted. The least they could do is make it enjoyable."
"Agreed." The second guard said in agreement.
The first guard nodded in agreement as he walked on, slamming his shoulder into Kelsier's as he walked on by. "Watch it Skaa." He said not even bothering to pause. "I rule you're life." The guard chuckled as he moved on.
"Kelsier?" Doxtun asked cautiously.
"You asked me why I fight Doxtun." Kelsier said in quiet tone his eyes narrowing on the two guards still standing near the door. "Do you trust me?"
Doxtun raised an eyebrow, "What?"
"Do you trust me?" Kelsier repeated.
"Yes."
"I'm going for their food." Kelsier finished, before proceeding towards the entrance. Doxtun stood alone dumbfounded by what he had just heard. Realizing he was alone, he rushed to catch up to Kelsier, barely managing to catch up to him as he opened up the door. The guards didn't pay any attention to him, to them he was just another skaa prisoner. That was their mistake.
"Kelsier." Doxtun whispered urgently, his words fell on deft ears.
Kelsier walked up to the front desk, where the clerk who took all the geodes sat writing figures on a ledger behind his desk. He pushed aside a small wooden stool that had been lying in front of him off to the side, taking into account four more soldiers sitting on wooden chairs around the room but none really paid them any attention. Next to the desk lay a hallway with sever doors populating the side, the second door down opened and out walked a guard with a bag of what appeared to be food. The smell of fresh, clean food practically sang out to him.
The clerk looked up at Kelsier who put the geode out onto the table. "Kelsier Tristing." He said.
Tristing.
The word acted like a force, slamming into Kelsier's mind.
The clerk took the geode and made a mark, nodding to let Kelsier know he was clear for the week. Kelsier on the other hand was paying more attention to the guard who had exited the storage room. He locked the door with a key and tied it loosely around what seemed to be a belt loop on the back of his trousers.
The guard moved down the hallway toward the common room Kelsier flexed his fingers. The moment the guard entered the open area Kelsier made his move.
A swift nudge with his foot sent the wooden stool sliding across the room. None of the guards were paying any attention, not even the guard he had been targeting. The man was too busy stuffing his mouth full of food to care. These people ate like kings. That was going to change.
The wooden stool hit the guard as he walked forward causing him to lose balance. He began tilting forward, the guard's arms went flying outwards trying balance himself as he stumbled.
Kelsier started moving the moment the guard had made contact with the stool, his feet moved quickly, not even making the slightest of sounds. His spun behind the guard, a blur to the naked eye, his right hand snapping out towards the key that had been tied to the guards belt loop. His eyes saw the butterfly loop that the guard had used, his fingers with years of practice executed the unravelling. With his index and ring finger he slipped them into the two individual loops of the knot and pulled them apart cause the entire key to begin to fall. With his pinky finger Kelsier caught part of the string creating a surface which to then clamp down with his ring finger trapped the string between his two fingers. Then he rotated his hand using the momentum generated by the key to swing it around and up into his waiting hand. The moment the key made contact Kelsier felt a sharp pain in his hands as he closed his fist almost causing him to stumble. Still he managed to retract his hand all while he completed his spin behind the guards back.
The guard managed to catch himself however he had drawn the attention of the other guards by now. Some had started laughing at the first guard's clumsiness, none paid attention to Kelsier who had seemingly materialized near the doors.
He beckoned to Doxtun before moving over to the door while the guards were occupied. Unlike himself, Doxtun was not a trained their and his footfalls were quite a bit more noticeable. Luckily the guards were busy making a spectacle of the other guard.
Kelsier unlocked the door and hurried in, letting Doxtun in behind him before shutting the door and locking it. The moment he was inside the smell hit him, the scent of fresh, food nearly brought the thief to his knees.
"Did you ever think of how you would manage to get the food out?" Doxtun asked as the door closed. "All those-"Doxtun's voice cut off as he saw the contents of the room. Moments later Kelsier saw it as well.
One side lay sacks of and buckets of food. Fresh fruits seemed to gleam from within some sacks, others had bread peeking out. There were numerous containers and Kelsier could bet that the best food was hidden within them. On the other side made Kelisier question his own sight. Before him lay crates filled with Hathsin Geodes. Crates.
I need you to do something for me Kelsier. I need you to gather up those geodes.
Kelsier felt his knees wobble and he had to catch himself on a crate. For some reason he was feeling weak, but why? He grimaced as his body tried to fight this anomaly that was occurring.
"Kelsier?" Doxtun said alarmed.
"Get. The. Food." Kelsier barely managed to spit out his stomach seemed to be doing knots. "There's a window that you can throw it out of, just need to get it past the archers on top. Shouldn't be too hard."
Kelsier's eyes began to flutter, as his mind processed the strong scent that invaded his mind. He had smelled this all before. The food, the smell of wine.
I'm from Tristing Plantation.
Tristing.
"Kelsier. You're in no shape-" Doxtun tried to argue.
"You asked me." Kelsier began, struggling to stay in control. "Why do I fight?" He moved over towards the door, his footsteps uneven, barely managing to carry his own weight. He collapsed upon the door, letting the wooden frame support him.
"Look at everyone out there in this hope forsaken place." Why did it hurt so much?
"I believe there will be a Lord Tristing at the ball tonight." Sazed mentioned nonchalantly.
"Is he someone important Kelsier?" Mare asked.
"Look…look at me, look at you." Kelsier let himself slide down the door slowly. Some of the cuts on his fingers had reopened, blood smeared as they slid down the wooden frame. "Is this what we have to look forward too for the rest of our lives?" He let himself collapse in front of the door, staring at the wood in front of him, his eyes seeing something else entirely.
"I am so hungry. That kid, a child shouldn't have to live like this."
"I always wanted a daughter. What do you think Kelsier? We could call her something special. Like one of those names from the old days. The legends. Something like. Vallette."
"No skaa should have to worry about their lives being in danger from the moment they breath till the moment they die." There was something wet on his cheeks. Tears? Kelsier tried to wipe them away but he couldn't stop.
"That isn't living!" Kelsier turned around to face Doxtun, he couldn't stop himself anymore. He had been holding it in for what seemed like decades.
"Why do I fight Doxtun? I fight because no one else will. Because every day is like a living hell for our people, and I have the power to do something about it. They break their backs for them and in return they get a whipping."
"What happened?" Kelsier asked.
"They took her away." Dockson said and walked away.
"Skaa parents have to pray they only give birth to ugly daughters or plain sons only, else they risk being taken away, raped and executed. If we talk out, if we fight back, we get sent to this desolate place where we're expected to work more with less. Tell me! Is this okay! Is it!"
It was hard to see, his eyes had long since blurred. Doxtun was just a mass of colours as he tried to blink the tears out of his eyes.
The axes fell and the executions began. Blood poured into the fountains and for the first time Kelsier saw the rivers run red with blood.
"I fight, because I have too. Because I can't stand by and do nothing. They're not invincible…and, my crew and I are the only ones willing to help them. I'm not a soldier, I don't have an army. I can't end this permanently. What I can do, is give them a break, at least… for a little while."
I fight for those who cannot.
Hands not his own wiped away the tears running down his face. He felt strong arms grasp him under shoulders and lie him back against the door. Doxtun kneeled down before him.
"Well, I'd say that's a good enough reason to keep on living don't you?" He said gently. He rubbed his hair before turning around and gathering up food in a one of the sacks near the boxes.
Kelsier leaned back against the door. He was so tired. He just wanted to close his eyes.
"You think you own whatever land you land on," Mare sang, her voice echoing through his mind.
Kelsier tried to open his eyes, it was like it he was there again.
"This earth is just a dead thing you can claim. But I know every rock and tree and creature, has a life, a spirit, has a name."
The world vanished.