Harry Potter and the Power of Polyjuice

By stealacandy

Disclaimer: Sex with twins is taboo in most societies in the world. Except the Amish. For them it is normal. I think. And some pseudo-Mormons on the borders of Utah. But even they won't pay you for writing Harry Potter fan-fiction. They'll burn you at the stake, instead.

A/N: was to lazy to write much of it, so ended up with this. So this is a short chapter, little more then an extended Omake (actually, I wrote Omakes twice as long before), and went through some lime-wash. Otherwise there isn't really much of a plot in this one, come to think about it. More of a place holder thing. Hmmm… I might have to come back to this one later. I'll let you know then. In the meantime, I through in an extra couple of good Omakes as a compensation. And then two more as a bonus.

And reading through this, I see what Ed meant about spell-checking. I'm so horrified I can barely admit I wrote it. But I chuck it to writing it a real lousy, shty old keyboard, making a hundred typos per mile, and being pressed for time when I wrote it, I didn't have the opportunity to correct it. So for all of you who read the original version, (especially Ed,) you have my apologies, and I corrected it here.

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10. Chapter 9: The Patil Triplets

It all started when Lav came to Harry, a little embarrassed, with a special request.

"Harry," she said. "You see, Parv and I are very good friends, and we usually do everything together. So when she heard you and I were together, she was instantly jealous of me. She wanted to share you too."

"What!" cried Harry. "Next thing you'll ask me to go into bed with Ron!"

"Merlin! no." said the busty blonde witch. "That slob? Never will cross my mind. But Parvati had always had a crush on you, and well - after the Yule ball in Fourth year-"

"Yes," Harry cut her off. "I see what you mean. I suppose I owe her that much..."

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Much later:

"Harry," said Parvati Patil, between licking his ear and rubbing his crotch. "my twin sister Padma and I, you see, we're very close, we've always done everything together, we share everything, but now there's a wedge between us, Harry. She's upset that I get to be your girlfriend and she has no one. At least no one worth mentioning. That Michael Corner is a whiner, and besides, he goes with Chang now - they whine to each other all the time. And don't start me about Kevin Entwhistle! Anyway, I recon you owe Padma a little, after she the way your stupid best friend treated her when she dated him in the Yule Ball in forth year, which she only did because you asked her, and, well, she always had this crush on you. Your eyes, you know, she could never resist that penetrating gaze of yours"

"And I guess you want to share my bed with her now, too?" Harry sighed.

"Oh, Harry, I knew you'd understand!" she, too, sighed happily.

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Much, much later:

Harry recoiled in terror as the ivory skinned beauty in his arms morphed into singularly recognizable features.

"Ginny!" he gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Harry," the girl cried happily. "I just had to have you to myself! Ahhh! That was wonderful, Harry."

Harry shuddered. Bad things were coming. He could tell it in his bones.

And he didn't even need Skele-grow.

"Oh dear."

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A/N: Not much, I know. The Omakes are better, I promise!

As is the next chapter of Harry Potter and the Power of Polyjuice, the long awaited fall of the Dark Lord, where the Polyjuice potion really shows us what it's capable of, and when one lacks hands, "either must die by the hand of another" is really one-sided, isn't it?

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A/N: This made me think of another Omake by Rorschach's Blot. It's been used before in Gene-Spliced Harry, and now Rors' himself made an odd-idea out of it. Called it "Working him in shifts". Check it out in his profile if you like. Anyway, this is my version:

Omake: The Patil Triplets?

By stealacandy

"Two?" asked professor McGonagall as Harry walked, arm in arm, with the oriental beauties.

"What do you take me for, professor?" asked Harry. "Three!" he said as Polyjuiced Ginny stepped out from behind him.

McGonagall was about to chide him, when Lavender joined in. "Four," she said.

Then Hermione stood up and said "Five."

McGonagall was lost for words.

One of Ginny's class mates came and spoke briefly with her. Then she turned to Harry. "Can I join in? Please?"

"Oh pooh!" said Harry. "Alright, alright," and gave her a bottle.

"Six." she told her head -of-house.

Minerva McGonagall fainted.

"Alright girls," said Harry, "let's take her to the hospital wing. It's the only place that has enough beds for all of us, anyway…"

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Omake: Meet the Parent

By stealacandy

"Harry," Mr. Weasley began, "it came to my notice that you and my daughter are intimate?"

"Yes sir," said Harry.

"I see." said Mr. Weasley. "May I ask you what are your intentions about her?"

"My intentions, sir?" asked Harry. "I have no intentions!"

"What?" cried Mr. Weasley sharply. "You're just going to use her, knowing her feelings for you, then discard her to the side, like so many-"

"Sir," Harry cut him in mid -tirade. "I am not using Ginny. In fact, you can say she's using me. But I'm not going to discard her - what do you take me for? I'm going to take care of her, and provide her - well, I will, if Voldemort won't get me first. Anyway, even if I did plan to discard her, I doubt she would have let me to. She sticks to me like a mosquito, with suction. As for intentions - You should ask her rather then me, but to hazard a guess? We'll probably have a lot of hot sex, and, knowing her - she's a Weasley, after all - have loads of children, and then some more sex, sir." explained Harry patiently.

Arthur Weasley sighed. He wasn't cut for it. He'll let Molly deal with it. Ginny was her daughter, after all.

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Omake: Third Wheel

By stealacandy

"That's not fair!" said Angelina Johnson. She came with Alicia at Katie's invitation to watch the Gryffindor vs. Huffelpuff Quidditch match, and now she was with her friends in the victory after-party, watching Harry Potter walk arm in arm with the two identical Patil sisters.

"I thought Harry would end up with a nice, English, white witch," she complained, "probably Hermione Granger. Now I see him with two Indian girls instead! If I knew he did ebony before, I would have jumped him ages ago!"

"Mehh," said Katie Bell, "life sucks, Ange."

"I don't know," said Alicia Spinnet slowly. "if he does two, maybe he'll do three? Why don't you go and ask them, Ange?"

"I- err… emm…"

"Come on, Anj," Alicia urged her on, "show that Gryffindor courage of yours. Go on, ask them."

"I… Okay, Okay, I'll go." and so she did.

"You sure look chirpy," said Katie. "spill."

"Well," said Alicia, "if he agrees to three, do you recon he'll agree to four?"

"Make it five," said Katie, "and count me in. Did you see him in the changing room today, all sweaty and everything, after the match?"

"Aha." said Alicia, blushing a pretty red.

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Over by the fire place, Angelina took the middle way and was now talking with Lavender Brown.

"Okay, I'll throw in a word for you, but you'll have to take Polyjuice."

"Huh?" asked Angelina, dumbly.

"Silly, you wanted to join the Patils, didn't you?"

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A/N: I'm not sure, but is the saying "a third wheel", or does it go "like a fifth wheel on a wagon"? Well, in case they are two different sayings, I made provisions for both, I should think.

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Omake: I'll Puff You, Mr. Potter!

By stealacandy

Harry was having some alone time by the lakeside, away from his girls. It was early spring, and it was still cold, and none of his girls dared to hazard it, so he was free for a while.

A shadow fell over him.

'I spoke too soon,' he thought, and looked up to see who it was. To his surprise, his eyes met with Hannah abbot's blue ones.

"Harry," she said. "Do you have anything against Huffelpuffs?"

"What? Why?" he asked.

"Well, I thought, after Cedric, and-"

"What? Don't tell me you actually think I killed him!" he cried.

"No, no," Hannah said. "Nobody thinks that. At least not any more. Even that imbecile Ernie finally got over it. So much for his Huffelpuff loyalty."

"Don't like McMillan much, do you?"

"Err.. I dated him. He's a jerk."

"Amen to that. But, if you don't think I killed Cedric Diggory, then why do you think I have anything agains Huffelpuffs?"

"It's like that, you see, Harry," she said. "You keep your distance! You started dating all these girls - first Luna Lovegood, then Daphne Greengrass, Then Lavender Brown - well, I thought You're into blonds. So what am I, a jar? I'm blond too, look!" she took off her hood. "And you never say so much as a word to me!" she was in tears. She shivered in the cold breeze.

"Oh, that's all? I really didn't know you felt like this. Please, Hannah, don't cry." He instinctively reached out to wipe her tears. She was cold. "You're shivering!" he cried. "Come here, I'll give you my cloak." He turned to take his cloak off, but she stopped him in mid-motion. When he extended his hand, she snuck into the opening, and snuggled beneath his arm.

They stood, holding each other for a while.

"Say, Harry, if you don't have anything against Huffelpuffs, then what about Susan?"

"Huh?" asked Harry, distractedly. "what about her?"

"Well, we thought you only liked blonds, but then you went out with some brunets - the Patil sisters, Hermione Granger, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson., that fifth year Gryffindor, what's her name? - then, you started going out with Ginny Weasley, and she's a redhead, and now you started dating Tracy Davis as well."

"I did?" asked Harry in wonderment.

"So Daphne tells me," said Hannah.

'It's good to know,' thought Harry, 'Why nobody tells me those things first?'

"Well, Susan Bones is a redhead too, and you know, she really likes you - ever since you thought us how to cast the patronus, she had a crush on you. She never succeeded in doing it in class, you know - she was too embarrassed, as it takes your form, and-"

"What?" cried Harry in awe. "I didn't know you could do that!"

"Well, I can't," said Hannah, "but Sue sure does. So, you think she'll stand a chance with you too?"

"I suppose," shrugged Harry.

"Oh! Thank you, thank you!" cried an excited Hannah in joy, disentangled herself from Harry's arms and cloak, and ran away. Harry sat back down on the lakebed. Before he could mule things over, however, the busty blond was back, running and jumping jubilantly, and with her was her best friend, Sue Bones.

"Thank you, Harry!" she cried, and pulled him back on his feet.

Before long, Harry had two beauties snuggled into his cloak, each under every armpit, and Harry got to find out exactly where and how well Susan was padded in places.

And Hannah too, of course.

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