Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

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"Olivia? Olivia?" Elliot yelled the minute he was in the house. She lay still in her bed and listened to his voice getting closer and closer. When she heard him on the stairs she couldn't wait any longer, she jumped off the bed.

"Olivia?" he called as she opened the door. "Baby?'

She ran at him, forcing him backwards with her momentum, he tumbled over bringing her down with him.

"Liv, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed sitting up and pulling her too him. She sobbed and nodded at the same time. "Hey, baby, shh!" He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

"Fin's dead!" she sobbed.

"I know, Liv."

"He was shot."

"I know, Liv."

She pulled back. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The doctor said not …"

She began slapping at his chest. "Fuck the doctor! What about me? He is my friend … was my friend … I have, had, a right to know."

"I know you do, baby. And you did know …" he began, grabbing her hands.

"But you knew I didn't remember," she sobbed hitting him again.

"There's a lot you don't remember, Liv, it's a matter of you learning about it over time, not in one go," he said quietly, trying to soothe her, it had the opposite effect.

Olivia looked up at him incredulously. "What else don't I remember? Who else is dead? Who??" she screamed.

"No, Liv, shh," he said trying to placate her. "No one else is dead, I promise, baby, I didn't mean it like that!"

The back door opened and he heard the twins come in. "Liv, let's go into the bedroom," he whispered. He stood up and tried to get her to stand up with him, but she wouldn't cooperate. He bent down and scooped her up, he'd taken one step before he froze, letting her legs drop down. He'd vowed to himself he'd never carry her again.

"I trust you," she sobbed into his neck. He lifted her up again and carried her into their bed, kicking the door shut behind them. He laid them both on the bed and kissed her repeatedly declaring his love for her over and over again.

In time, Olivia started responding to him, kissing him back. She gradually sat up and ran her fingers through his hair.

"So, what happened with Fin?" she asked. "And don't dare leave out anything," she added digging her pointed finger into his chest.

Elliot sat up beside her and put his arms around her.

"It was the Emmet Forrester Case and …" Elliot began.

"He had raped and murdered four co-eds on their birthdays…" Olivia said, remembering the case.

"Yeah and …" he continued.

"I was working that case with Fin," she interrupted.

"Yeah, you were baby." He kissed her head.

"You and Fin went to his apartment to arrest him, Munch and I went as back-up, along with a few uniforms. You and Fin went in first, followed by Munch, then me. Forrester pulled a gun, you went one way, Fin went the other and all hell broke loose. There were shots fired, turns out there was a second perp there, Curt Harding. In the end Fin was shot, I was shot and so was Forrester.

"Forrester dead?" she queried, her brow furrowed.

"Yeah, Liv," Elliot nodded.

"And Fin?" Olivia asked, not wanting it to be true.

"Yeah," he nodded again.

"But not you?" she checked, cursing her brain for being so muddled.

"No, baby, I'm right here," he reassured her, squeezing her tighter and kissing her head.

She sighed deeply. "Did we go to the funeral?"

"Yeah, and it was a good one, as far as they go. Very Fin," Elliot said. "He would have liked it … well, you know what I mean," he amended.

"Good," she sighed, brushing away her tears. "How did we deal with it?"

"Well, we had a long talk about it the day after it all happened and decided we didn't want to take the chance of it happening again. It wasn't fair on the kids, so we moved here," Elliot reported, running his hand up and down her arm.

"Aha," she nodded, none of it sounding familiar in the least. "How did the others deal?"

"Munch retired…" Elliot began.

"Really?" she interrupted, pulling on his shirt as she gained eye contact with him.

"Yeah, said it wouldn't be the same without the three of us there and he may as well move on," he replied, moving his hand to caress her cheek, trying to take away some of the fear and confusion he saw in her deep brown eyes.

Elliot paused for a few moments, trying to give Olivia time to process the information. His hand slipped down her arm and she entwined her fingers with his.

"Keep going," she whispered through her tears.

"Cragen's still there but he's retiring the first of June. He took it pretty hard, but he won't talk about it," Elliot said, saddened he could do nothing to ease the pain of his friend and former boss.

"I can't believe he's dead," she sighed. "It just doesn't seem possible."

"I know, baby, and I've had eight months to come to terms with it," he replied, kissing her head and she nestled back into him again.

There was a long silence. "Who shot who?" she asked, needing the details.

Before he could answer there was a soft rap on the door.

"Come in," Elliot called, grateful for the short reprieve at least..

"Hey," Maureen said, coming into the room and closing the door behind her. "I just thought I'd check on things. See how you were going, mom?"

Olivia smiled sadly at her eldest daughter but didn't answer.

"Mom's doing okay, it's just a bit hard," Elliot explained, stroking Olivia's hair.

"Well, the kids are asking about dinner and I was going to take them out, give you some more time. Is that okay?" she asked, looking from one parent to the other.

"It's a great idea, thanks Mo," smiled Elliot. "Take the cash," he said, tossing his wallet to her.

"Thanks," Olivia mouthed.

Maureen smiled when she heard a familiar padding coming towards the room. "Oh yeah," she said, "somebody wanted to see you before we went out."

Molly flung the door open and spied her parents on the bed. Never one to be left out of a hug she climbed on top of her father and grabbed onto both of them, squeezing hard.

"I'll come back and get her in five," Maureen said, leaving the room.

"Mommy sad," Molly said, patting Olivia's face.

"Yeah, pumpkin," Olivia nodded, trying not to cry.

Molly pouted and looked at her dad. "Make mommy happy," she commanded.

"I'm trying, Molly," he said, kissing his wife's head.

"Try 'gain, punkin" she said, repeating the words Olivia had said to her many times.

"I will," Elliot promised, kissing his daughter's head. "I will."

When the kids had departed and the house fell quiet, Olivia sat up.

"Where are you going?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Nowhere," she said, straddling him and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked, stilling her hand with his.

"I'm making love to you," she said, bluntly, pushing his hand aside and taking the next button up.

"No, Liv, no sex … the doctor advised …" he began.

"I don't care…" she replied tugging his sleeve off his arm.

"Yes, you do," he said, cooperating with her actions.

"I'm making love to you, deal with it, El!" she said firmly.

"Liv, I know you're sad and I know why you're doing this but…" he tried to explain.

"Shut up, Elliot!" She pulled off the other sleeve before taking off his beater.

"You want to feel something other than pain, baby," he explained as she unbuckled his belt. "You want to feel alive." He used all his willpower not to respond to his overwhelming desires.

She tugged at his pants, getting frustrated at him when he wouldn't cooperate, so he did.

When his trousers and boxers were discarded she straddled him again and began undressing herself.

"But you know this isn't the right thing to do, don't you, Liv?" She grunted as her shirt hit the floor and she removed her bra.

She moved to the side and pushed down her sweats before kicking them off altogether.

"Make love to me, Elliot," she growled as he made no move to touch her.

"No Liv, I won't," he said sternly.

"Yes, you will." She repositioned herself.

"Olivia!" he said firmly. "Sex is not good for you right now. The doctor said to wait another week or so."

She leant down and started kissing him.

"Your body is responding to an emotional need but we risk doing physical harm if we do this," he continued, trying to sound detached.

"Elliot, just shut up and make love to me," she sobbed, hitting his chest.

"Liv, you know I've never said no to you … god, I'd be an idiot. So you gotta trust me when I say we can't do this…" His hands moved up her back to her shoulders before pulling her down to him. "I love you so much, Liv and I am not going to do anything that will hurt you … and I'm not going to let you do it either," he said, trying to hold her still.

She fisted his chest a few times in frustration. "Sssh," he soothed as she finally succumbed and collapsed onto him. "It's okay, Livvy, it's okay, baby."

"It's damn well not okay," she yelled scrambling off him, slapping away his hand as he went to pull her back.

He followed her into the bathroom before she could shut the door on him. "Leave me alone," she yelled, sitting on the edge of the bath.

"Not going to do that either," he said, leaning against the basin.

"Elliot, please," she begged, tears streaming down her face. "I just need to get my head together … give me some time …" She dropped her head into her hands and rested her elbows on her knees.

"Sure," he said, sitting down beside her, running his hand over her back.

"Alone," she added, shifting away from him. He shook his head. "Please, Elliot … just go and leave me alone."

He studied her for a moment and realised there were just some things he couldn't fix. "You've got ten minutes," he said, standing and kissing her head.

Elliot was lying on the sofa, dressed in sweats, when Olivia came out to him forty minutes later. While he was pretending to be relaxing, the truth was he had stood outside the bathroom for the first fifteen minutes and listened to her cry. When she turned the shower on he got dressed before listening to her again. Desperate to go into her, he restrained himself and simply knocked on the door.

"You doing okay, Liv?" he called, only opening the door slightly.

"Aha," she managed and he knew she was still crying.

"You want me to do anything for you?" he asked.

"Uh uh," she replied.

"Okay then, baby. I'll be downstairs when you're ready," he said.

"Mmmha," she replied. He shut the door and left her alone.

"Hey, Livvy," he called, moving to get up when she came in.

She came to him. "Don't get up," she whispered, lying down with him. Nestling herself as close to him as she could, she rested her head on his chest, content for now just to hear his heart beat and know she hadn't lost him too. And as she ran her hand over her abdomen, she smiled; glad she hadn't lost the chance to have this new little one either.

Kissing her head, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He couldn't help but smile. This was how they had spent his first night home from the hospital in New York.

Their serenity lasted little more than twenty minutes when they heard the car pull into the driveway.

"Can't let them see me like this," Olivia mumbled as she got up and went upstairs before the kids came into the house. It was left to Elliot to answer the questions from his daughters about their mother.

"Can we see her?" Liz asked in the end.

"Look, I don't think…" he began before looking at the three faces in front of him. "How about you just go in to say goodnight?" he suggested. They agreed and went upstairs.

Elliot looked at Rick who had been conspicuous with his silence. "You not interested in your mother's wellbeing?" he asked.

"It happened eight months a…" he retorted.

"Not to your mom …" he interrupted

"She'll get over it, she already did it once," he snapped, picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

"What is your problem?" Elliot replied angrily, turning the TV off.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Like hell it's nothing," he spat.

"You wouldn't care anyway," Rick yelled before storming up the stairs to his room.

"What's his problem now?" asked Maureen coming into the room.

"I've got no idea," growled Elliot. "You?"

Maureen shook her head. "Want me to go talk to him?"

"No," replied Elliot. "Leave him alone. I'll speak to him tomorrow. How's Liv?"

"Well, at the moment she's snuggled up in bed with Liz," Maureen smiled wistfully. "Just like last time."

The night Fin had been killed and Elliot was in hospital, it was Liz who curled up in their bed to comfort her stepmother, mirroring Olivia's actions on Lizzie's first night back home after Kathy had died.

"Where's Molly?" Elliot asked, exhaustion creeping across his face.

"I put her to bed but she's expecting a kiss from you," she said.

"Thanks Mo," Elliot said, hugging and kissing his daughter. "Have I told you how much it means to have you here?"

"Yeah, once or twice," she replied, kissing his cheek. "You and mom eaten?" He shook his head. "You go up and I'll see what I can find."

"Don't think mom will eat," he said heading out the door.

Elliot's first stop was Molly's room and he smiled as his daughter sat up in bed and stretched out her arms out for him.

"Loves daddy," she cooed waiting for his loving kisses and tickles which he bestowed on her every night. He picked her up, cradling her in his arms before blowing raspberries on her belly; the little girl giggled and wriggled in his arms.

"Bedtime, pumpkin," he said eventually laying her in her bed. He tucked her in tightly and flicked on her bedside lamp. "This is a goodnight kiss from me," he said kissing her forehead. "And this one is from mommy." He kissed her again. Every night of her short life, Molly had received two kisses, in the past few months it had been Olivia giving both kisses but the little girl didn't mind who was doing the kissing so long as there was one from each of them.

Elliot eased her door shut and headed to his bedroom. He was surprised to find Olivia asleep with Liz curled into her.

"Hey, baby girl," he whispered moving to the bed.

"She's asleep," Liz whispered back.

"I see that." He tousled his daughter's hair. "Thanks for being here for her."

"She was there for us when we needed her most," Liz said, easing herself from the bed. "You going to take care of her?"

"Sure am, baby," he said, kissing her head as she passed him.

By the time Olivia woke up Elliot was sound asleep, still lying on top of the quilt dressed in his sweats. She looked to the bedside table and saw the half eaten sandwich and open can of soda, it was then her stomach rumbled and she glanced at the clock realising it was at least twelve hours since she'd last eaten. Slowly, she eased his arm from over her waist and sat up carefully, her head still needing time to adjust.

"Where are you going, baby?" Elliot asked, only one eye opened.

"Go back to sleep, El," she whispered, standing up.

"Humph," he mumbled as he drifted off again. She made her way to the bathroom, when the door clicked shut Elliot awoke again, feeling for her in the empty bed beside him.

She took her time in the bathroom and was surprised, when she emerged that he was standing outside the door waiting for her.

"What's wrong, El?" she asked, noting the concern on his face.

"Nothing. Are you okay?" he asked, putting his arms around her neck.

"Yeah, I am." She kissed his cheek. "I'm just going to get something to eat."

"You go back to bed, I'll get it for you," he offered.

"El, I can do it myself," she said moving past him and heading into the hallway.

"Well," he grinned, following her out, "you can make me something too."

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