Title: X: Alternative

Pairing: AkiraxMeru, Friendship (slight romance)

Rated: T-M for Hazu's comments on Meruo's usual girlfriends and Meruo's innuendos

X: Alternative

Philosophers have, and always will, have complete field days with ideas such as Time Paradox and Anthropic Principle. The Time Paradox theory delves into the world of time travel. They ask, what would happen if you killed your younger self, or your parents, or grandparents before you were conceived? Would you die? Or would a new, separate timeline open up? The Anthropic Principle explores the power of humanity, and whether something really exists if nobody is there to observe its existence. There's another idea, as well: In anime, when budgets are going down and the producers need a way to get a dead character back to life, parallel universes are often a convenient excuse. Come on; you've seen it employed in The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and 11eyes. Just... admit it. It's a convenient excuse.

But, I'm probably losing you at this point. I mean, I'm the only one who watches those animes, right? Akira says I need to stop being such an otaku and take Physics next year instead of ranting about Anthropomorphic Principals or whatever. He's probably right.

All the same, sometimes I like to kid myself that there are several Hazuki Akifuji's, scattered across the universe. Maybe they're different, maybe they aren't even friends with the alternate-universe Akira who tells them they're an otaku. Who knows.

I don't know why I'm even saying this anyway.

"Akifuji-san, will you put down the instant ramen? I don't want you getting it on anything," Akira asked, jumping up and pulling the forms safely from underneath Hazu's bowl.

"A-Ah... I'm sorry, Akira-chan." Hazu hastily put it down and tried to rearrange his features into a convincing smile. He was secretly brokenhearted and wanted to slap that bitch for making him stop eating his precious food.

"You're too obedient, Hazu," Meruo lazily put his feet up on the table. "Are you really going to let her order you around like that?"

"You shut up," Akira fired back irritably at the platinum-blonde boy. He, in turn, raised his eyebrows at her. "Awwww. I've touched one of Akira-neechan's nerves."

"YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED ANYTHING," she growled, rearranging pens in a line on the table and determinedly avoiding Meruo's gaze.

"Haven't I now?" He gave her a very eerie smile, which Hazu saw as a warning signal. "Akira-chan – you – might want to – "

"I would have touched far more by now if you weren't being such a goody-goody stick-in-the-mud." Meruo rolled his eyes at his best friend, who was breaking out into a panic. "Really, Meru-kun, you're being kind of – "

"Because – really – who hasn't been to third base yet? Men don't like women with no experience. Well, unless they're lolicons, but – "

"I'm sorry," she said icily, uncapping a pen and spinning it in his direction threateningly. "Are you implying that I have no experience?"

"No, of course he's no – " Hazu tried to jump in, but failed once again. Why? he wondered miserably. How did I become so damn lacking in moral fibre? While we're at it, why am I so small – and wimpy – and why hasn't my voice cracked, dammit!

Hazu was probably the exact opposite of his best friend, who was an extroverted, shameless playboy who put his older sister the notorious whore a kind girl who didn't quite know what kind of boyfriend she wanted yetto shame. He had probably gone out with every girl in the school at least once, some twice, and now usually imported his exotic girlfriends from other schools. Except for this year. Where, for reasons Hazu didn't even want to try to fathom, he had devoted his time to pursuing Kamishiro Akira. Okay, she was cute, and she was twintailed – but she was fucking scary. Already this year, he had gotten yelled at twice (Although, he hoped he had made that nasty old bag feel guilty by crying – that'll fix her! She made the shota cry!). Meruo had gotten yelled at much more than him, though. Way more. He felt like trying to tell Meruo that you don't exactly make the Akiras of this world happy by hitting on them repeatedly, but the poor kid had very little experience with decent women.

(Well now, it's not his usual girlfriends aren't... decent... they're just a little... well, one day he visited Meruo's house and a lady wearing nothing but lingerie opened the door, ruffled his hair, and called him cute. Another one seemed rather confused and drunk and seemed to think that he was Meru's little brother. Point made?)

Still – Meruo was a good head of the music department and a hard worker, which had gained the dark-haired girl's respect.

When Hazu jerked out of his reverie, Meruo had moved right next to Akira and was giving her the casual smirk that had charmed most of his ex-girlfriends. Roughly. "Now, Kira-chan, no need to get all flustered and angry. We all know that you really have an incredible liking for me."

"What are you talking about? I hate you." His grin just widened, and Hazu sat in a rather impressed trance over the lengths he was willing to go to melt the block of ice in front of him.

"Really? Do you really believe that?"

Akira nodded curtly, trying to shove his face away, but he just caught her wrist in his hand. Hazu pretended to silently read, but kept an eye focused on Meruo's other hand, should he push the barrier.

"Why did you let me join the student council, then? And why did you let me do that to you?"

Hazu looked up the same time Akira did, completely forgetting about watching Meruo's wandering hands. Both of them were looking outraged at a very happy Meruo who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "A-Akira-chan? What did you let him do?"

"I – " her face had gone bright red, and, she tried even more desperately to shuffle away. She glared at Meruo. "DON'T TELL HIM!" She started muttering incoherently about not being able to get married and emotional exploitation.

"Y-You didn't deflower her, did you?" Hazu asked timidly, finishing his ramen furiously before Akira could stop him.

"No!" Meruo looked extremely embarrassed, which threw off warning signals. There was something else there, too – fear? Why would Meruo be afraid? He was the bravest person Hazu knew.

He had been walking home. Until he noticed crying coming from around the corner. Meruo wasn't a nosy person, but whoever was crying had sounded so distressed and confused that he had felt his heart lurch. Before he knew it, he had broken into a run, following the cries.

He hadn't known that it would be Akira – curled up in the middle of a deserted alleyway, eyes wide and shaking, hands covered in blood.

"M-MERUO!" she had screamed, launched herself into his arms like in some gay Hurt/Comfort fanfiction and started sobbing uncontrollably. The hell?! What had happened to the angry, violent tsundere he had said goodbye to at school? This girl... was much different.

"Is that blood?" he asked, praying that she had just witnessed a brutal car accident. Or maybe it was ketchup. There were hot dog vendors around here, right...?

"I... don't know." She buried her face into his shirt. "I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't remember."

"How can you not remember how you got covered in blood?!" he demanded. "Did you pass out? Get raped?!"

"I don't know," she mumbled. "... well, probably not raped."

"Are you sure?" he asked, falling into a sitting position.

"Y-yes." There was conviction in her voice. "I'm fine, but I..." her blue eyes teared up again, and he brusquely did something that Meruo hardly ever did. He hugged her.

For some reason, both of them turned and smiled all lovey-dovey at each other. Akifuji Hazu had a bad feeling about this, but who was he to stop the little lovebirds?

Now, all he had to do was convince Meruo that yanking a girl's ponytails was not the way to get them to go out with you.