"What?"
"I'm pregnant!" she repeated,
Hanschen looked to the three shocked faces on the sofa and then back to his wife, "What?"
Ava forced a smile, now a little flustered, "Isn't that wonderful, darling?"
Hanschen fell heavily into a chair, his mouth open in an attempt to form words, his eyes wide he stared up at her, "How?"
His wife took a step back, affronted, "Well I-"
"How?" he repeated, still a little shell shocked. Ernst fidgeted a little on the sofa, Anna quietened him.
"I hardly think that's a suitable topic for polite conversation," she glanced around nervously, "look you're making your friends uncomfortable," she motioned with the hands, "say something!"
Hanschen continued to stare at her, a faint sadness in his eyes, "I-"
"Oh for goodness sake!" his wife remonstrated, "Can't you ever be happy for me?!"
"Why don't you fix a bite to eat?" Anna cut in, smiling hopefully, "you know, for the shock. I think we'd all feel better."
Ava turned angrily on her heal, "very well, I shall return."
"Pregnant?!" the first thing Hanschen felt was a slap across his forehead. "How could you neglect to mention you had a wife?" Anna demanded.
"Bloody hell," Ilse giggled exasperated, "you have all the luck don't you."
Hanschen shook his head, "I don't understand."
"You don't understand? Hanschen surely you read Melchior's essay all those years ago?" Ilse questioned.
Ernst looked across at Ilse, "Who's Melchior?"
Hanschen continued, "No, I mean, I don't understand how this could-"
"Well," Ilse teased, "When two people love each other very much-"
"I couldn't," Hanschen cut in, embarrassed, "After that first wedding night I could never bring myself to-"
Words failed him and Ilse placed a hand on his shoulder, Ernst turned concerned eyes on him but Anna sat indignant.
"She disgusted me," he whispered, "Just, everything she did reminded me of all the people I'd had to leave behind, and all for someone I hated." He turned to Ernst, "every time she looked at me, like she wanted something from me, I couldn't bear to touch her. It made my skin crawl and I-"
"So what does this mean?" Anna leant forwards across the low coffee table,
"The baby can't be mine; it's been seven years since we-"
"Then whose is it?"
Hanschen shook his head, "I don't know," a smile touched his lips, "I always thought I'd be the one to cheat."
"The servants have supper ready" Ava screeched from the kitchen, "I'd like you all to come and eat at the dining table, Hanschen your friends are not the most civilised tea drinkers and my nerves won't stand them getting crumbs on the sofa, especially not in my condition!"
"Sorry," Hanschen mouthed, guiding Anna, Ilse and Ernst into lavish dining room, pink silk drapes were decorated with a cherry blossom tree with birds flying from its branches, with their wild staring eyes they seemed almost imprisoned on the fabric.
"Sit down! Sit down!" Ava flapped her hands, taking the seat next to Hanschen leaving Ernst unsure, he shot a quick look at Anna who shrugged helplessly back, apprehensively he took the seat at the head of the table. Ava eyed him disapprovingly but began to cut her fillet of salmon into very tiny pieces.
The silence that passed was undeniably awkward. Ernst, having no idea in his current state, how to use the multiple knives and forks placed before him, had taken to eating with his fingers, much to the disgust of Hanschen's wife. Ilse, who did not eat meat or fish, poked the jellied mass around her plate with the end of a spoon and Anna ate quickly, as if trying to get the whole situation done with as fast as possible, throwing angry looks at Ava whenever the plumper woman turned to ask the servants for more wine.
Hanschen could not eat, after everything that he had seen that day he wasn't hungry.
"Will you excuse me?" he asked, pushing his chair back, he made for the door, walking briskly through the house he made it to the cushioned bench in the servants corridor which had long been his sanctuary.
Flopping down on the cushion, he closed his eyes.
"Rough day sir?"
The gap toothed servant was once again standing by his side,
Hanschen rubbed his forehead, "You have no idea."
The servant slapped him on the back heartily, "I shouldn't worry sir, these things always 'ave a way of sorting 'emselves out."
Hanschen nodded.
"Almost forgot," the servant turned back, "Someone rang the house today, a woman? Said she was a doctor and she heard you were having a few problems, there's nothing the matter is their sir?"
Hanschen's head jerked round, "Did she give her name?" he hesitated, "or the name of her practice?"
"No," The servant shook his head, "but she said you'd know her when you saw her."
Hanschen's hands trembled a little, could it be? "Tell her I'm going home, to visit friends, tell her I can't be reached at this address," he instructed rapidly,
The servant looked a little puzzled, "Very well sir, but she didn't sound like she was gonna give up that easy" he walked on out of sight.
Hanschen slumped back against the wall.
Ernst's skinny vivid form had appeared round the corner, he paced quickly across the corridor and flopped down next to Hanschen, "I don't like dinner parties."
Hanschen began to laugh, for the first time in what felt like days and just this once he gave him self up to the joy of having Ernst, all be it unpredictable, erratic, undeniably abnormal, but still his Ernst at his side again. Ernst to began to giggle, staring at nothing in particular he laid his head on Hanschen's shoulder.
"I'm sort of glad your wife's baby isn't yours."
Hanschen smiled weakly, "me too," he admitted
They sat together for some time, Hanschen finding comfort in Ernst's steady breathing, Ernst snuggled into his chest, the dark haired boy's brain buzzed again, there was something so comfortable, so familiar about the feel of the soft fabric against his skin, about the steady heart beat that mimicked his own.
"Who do you think is the father?" he questioned.
Hanschen sighed, "God knows, someone from the bank maybe?" He had to admit he was a little shocked. Of course his marriage hadn't been a particularly happy one, there had been little sign of affection or passion but somehow he hadn't expected the woman who sat in the dining room, with all her pretences of etiquette, with all the faith she held in being polite and 'proper', to go against the values of her suffocating middle class existence.
"Anna says it's wrong to sleep with someone if you don't love them," Ernst mumbled, "but sometimes there isn't any choice-"
Hanschen took Ernst's face in his hands, "If they love you, if they're a good person," he reassured, "then you should always have a choice,"
Ernst nodded, and shyly traced his thumb along Hanschen's middle finger,
"Boys!" the shrill tones of his wife came howling from the dining room,
"Coming!" Hanschen replied, reluctantly, they broke a part and returned to the heavy silence of the dinner party.
His wife sat very still whilst they ate their second course, occasionally attempting the customary conversation regarding the weather but increasingly she fell into sullen silence. She glared angrily at Hanschen.
"Well I hope you'll be more talkative when our baby comes, I've already invited sixty people to the christening! The father has to make a speech, it's tradition!"
Hanschen stared at her, he felt a sudden anger, like a child who has been the leader in some game for many hours and has suddenly lost power to another. "What was his name?" his voice was low.
"Sorry dear, you'll have to speak up if you want people to hear you."
"His name." Hanschen repeated, turning in his seat to face her.
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." His wife seemed flustered now
"Really?" Hanschen laughed sarcastically, "You don't know the father of your baby?"
"Hanschen don't be ridiculous!" his wife gasped
"Don't tell me I'm being ridiculous," Hanschen shouted,
"Not in front of the guests! We'll talk later!" his wife stood up to clear her plate
"We'll talk now!" Hanschen grabbed her hand, in this last moment he felt a fleeting stab of sympathy for her, maybe she hadn't wanted this marriage either. He pulled her back down into her seat.
Ilse and Anna looked away pointedly, but Ernst's sad eyes remained fixed on the scene before him.
"I'm not angry with you for cheating," Hanschen said softly, "God knows this hasn't exactly been a loving marriage, but lying to me, trying to bring a baby into a mess like this when you knew it couldn't possibly be mine." He sighed, "I don't care what your father says anymore, you can have the money my parents left us in the will, but I'm not going to be here to see you spend it."
"What?! Hanschen!"
He motioned to his three friends, "I think it's time for us to go."
"Hanschen please! Don't! The neighbours will talk!"
Hanschen shook his head, "that was all you ever really cared about," he flung his coat over his shoulders, "I'll have Mary pack up my things and send them to me in Reutlingen. Goodbye Ava."
Ilse, Anna and Ernst slid awkwardly out from their side of the table. Hanschen made for the door.
"Well, nice to meet you!" Ilse beamed, stretching out a hand which Ava refused to take. Anna gave her a quick nod and stepped round the seething woman and into the hallway.
"Thank you!" Ernst said pleasantly, "Is there any chance I could borrow your blue dress?"
Ava looked at him, affronted, "why whatever for child?"
Ernst looked at her very seriously, "Well I think it might look better on me."