Author's Notes: Phew, I'm a bit late with this. Sorry about that. Anyway, here's a short in-between chapter for the two parts of this story. Hope you enjoy, and thanks, once again, to my awesome reviewers.

Interlude

No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.

Not in that you feel afraid, but that the general sensation is the same. The brooding feeling that you're on edge…that at any moment it could all go to pieces…is ever-present. It's like being concussed, there's a blanket of fog over you. There is an invisible buffer between the world and me. I have been severed from reality through trauma. You can't shake this feeling. You try to do something to get it to away, but you can't. It stays despite your best efforts. And then at the same time you don't want it to go away because you almost want people to pity you. You want them to be about you.

The agony of losing this woman that I loved so much is excruciating…but what is even worse is the sticky sweet pleasure of indulging in the pain. Of wanting everyone to feel bad for you. Of commanding their sympathy. Of forcing them to consider you above everyone else—abusing the tragedy. That is truly horrific. It makes your head swim.

I was in such a bad state after Elyana died that I spent the first part of the revolution completely isolated from the events of the outside world.

As I had sat there in the road, hunched over my beloved's body, the massive crowd had stormed into the Republic Embassy. The Republic guards resisted and opened fire. There were casualties, but they swarmed in like insects, completely overrunning the building. They then began to destroy it. The impetus for this sudden display was Ingres's death, which Theodoric had masterfully manipulated to look like another Republic injustice. He framed Kalkannis perfectly. He chose when the revolution would begin. Much like everything else he did—it had to be at the proper time. He was a genius that way.

Now, the information about this event ranges from the inexact to the outright untruthful. There were rumors that I had killed Ingres (generated by the Republic), and murmurs of discontent. Most of them here on Coruscant seem to think that I did it. But I didn't, Theodoric did. And Kalkannis stupidly walked into the trap with his robes on, causing that whole horrific tragedy to take place. If he hadn't been wearing those robes, Elyana would still be alive. We would have been able to escape (which was Theodoric's plan for us, he assured me). But Kalkannis did it. And so he suffered my wrath—the punishment had to fit the crime.

After I killed him, the spaceport was overrun as well. Republic ships on the ground were overtaken and destroyed, literally ripped to shreds by the masses. The ships that managed to escape were fired at from the ground.

The Republic militia—a pitiful force, really—responded, but they did not have the air power to subjugate the revolutionaries, and so after some brief posturing, the small Doliani reserve army forced them into a retreat. The planet was now cut off from the Republic.

The Republic navy at the time was not really a centralized entity. Their main fleet operated almost exclusively in the Core. On the rim, there were regional fleets that consisted mostly of poor men and women who turned to military service because they had nothing else. They came from the rim worlds, and so when the planets started revolting (dozens followed in Doliani's wake), a good chunk of the Republic navy went with them. The secession was greater than anyone had anticipated, and no one had foreseen that so many planets would do it at once.

I was not directly involved at this point, though, but surely you can see that the sheer breadth of the revolution reveals the negligence of the Republic. The institution was fragile anyway, and now the abused planets were simply not going to stand for it.

Really, why would anyone want to be part of a system in which they have no say? Forget the Jedi, forget the crimes of the Republic military and senate, forget everything other than the representation; and you still have enough of a reason to justify secession. There was no reason to be a part of a country that obviously did not want them. Us.

A nation that did not want us.

I joined them eventually. I don't want you to think I joined simply because Elyana died. Nothing would further from the truth. I've already shown you that I believed—for quite some time—that the Jedi were slowly ruining my life, they had ruined my family's life, and that I believe the Republic to be harsh, corrupt, and unredeemable.

And it was unredeemable. That is why we had to break from it. We couldn't change it from within, so we had to get away from it. And I wanted to get away from it too. I would love to destroy it, to destroy the Jedi, but that was not practical. So this is what we had to do instead. The Republic had taken Elyana from me, and had likely killed my family on Cstephon. The Republic and Jedi were in a symbiotic relationship—they supported and fed each other, the condoned each other's unholy crusades against liberty and democracy, and they degraded society.

But before I could clearly organize those thoughts…I still mourned for Elyana.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of her. Especially not now that I've started this book.

I did not join the revolution because of Elyana's death. On the contrary…she was the last thing that kept me loyal to the Republic and the Jedi. It was only because of her that I was even considering going back. It was only because of her that I was going through the charade of arresting Ingres in the first place.

What hurts the most is that…I know that…if I didn't love her…she would likely still be alive.

Can you imagine the sort of devastating self-doubt that kind of knowledge perpetuates? It's enough to destroy your mind…to turn you insane. But I'm not insane…not yet…

I could have lived a decent life if I hadn't fallen in love with her. A boring, normal, standard life. But with her I was given a few months of bliss and then years of unspeakable pain. Was it worth the trade? Is it better to, for a little while, have the one you love and then be miserable than to be happy without her?

I don't know. But it hurts to think about it. I feel almost selfish. If I hadn't pursued her…she would still be alive. And she would be none the wiser. She would…she would even be happy. I think…Elyana was perhaps my greatest moral failure.

That's why I flew into a rage. Kalkannis had destroyed everything. Had he not stupidly worn his Jedi robes that day, maybe no one would have fired at him. Then he would not have reflected that blaster shot into my Elyana. Had he not gotten lost the previous day…maybe none of this might have happened. Had he not been such an imbecile! I had to kill him. How could I not? If someone repeatedly interferes with your life and irrevocably damages everything that holds it together, don't you have a right to fight back? Aren't you justified? Doliani was justified to fight back. And I was justified to fight back. I had to kill Kalkannis before even more tragedy befell me.

Now his "murder" is one of the charges against me for this upcoming trial. I will be found guilty of the murder of Andury Kalkannis, because I am a heinous Sith Dark Jedi who killed his friend for no other reason than he was in the way. That is the "official" story…but it is so far from the truth it is revolting. He had to be dispatched, before he did anything more to me.

If only they knew me. If only they knew my motives, my reasons, my justifications, then they would know I did not "murder" Kalkannis. I was protecting myself. And I was avenging my poor Elyana. But they do not know these things. The legal system is broken—they only know the facts. I launched an "unprovoked attack" on Kalkannis and "murdered him in cold blood in front of hundreds of people." That's all they know—and that's why I am doomed. But it's so wrong.

But even so, I would not change a thing about his death. The man who killed Elyana does not deserve life.

But dwelling on this does nothing for me. It's over. It happened. That's it. Elyana is gone.

She died… my love died.

Thoughts like this swam around my head like lightening in the early days of the revolution.

I didn't participate much, at all, as Doliani forced the Republic out of this space, so I can't really provide an accurate recounting of the events. I stayed in some apartment that Theodoric gave me. I avoided everything. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't. I just sulked. In this time, most of the entire outer rim nearby Doliani (which is close to Garos IV) had turned against the Republic. They had nearly simultaneously banded together to throw off their yokes. Although their revolutions were not as quick or easy as Doliani's, most of them succeeded. A few planets, like Muunilist, were unable to repel the Republic and stayed under its jurisdiction, but separated from the rest of the Republic they would not hold out long. Several major mid-Rim planets also joined us. The scattered and bewildered Republic militia force did not know what to do. They did not even know where to respond. Hundreds of planets had all defected and there was not one point where they could begin retaliating. They just had to take it.

Onderon defected, which remained the closest planet to the core. They, as always, however, were doing their own thing. You could never tell Onderon what to do. In the outer rim, though, Doliani provided most of the initiative for the secession. Most of the planets that revolted where in the area, or farther out into the Outer Rim. Several of them were on the Perlemian Trade Route.

In the meantime, the rim worlds were solidifying their relationship, forming a new union, and scraping together a makeshift military. That is where I entered.

It came to pass that eventually Theodoric showed himself at my miserable apartment. It had been some time since the initial surge. Doliani had strengthened its political system, gotten the Emperor on the boat, and replaced Ingres with Theodoric, his natural successor. They may not have needed him as a senator, but they were still important in the leadership of the planet.

He came into my place and seemed, at first, to be horrified at how little I cared about anything. I looked a mess. My hair was surely unkempt and growing quite long at this point, and since it is naturally thick, it was quite hard to tame. I hadn't shaven in many days, and so I had grown a substantial beard that was likewise untamed. My red eyes were sunken and dark circles enveloped them.

He came in and did his best to act natural. He was like some kind of specter to me. He was almost my opposite. He came to talk to me, and I needed someone like this to help. I needed this man—my doppelganger.

"Aetius," he said, "you can't sulk like this forever."

I just grunted.

"I know you loved her," he said, "but you must go on. Things have been set in motion."

"I can't stop thinking about her," I said.

"I never said you should," he replied, sitting down on a chair across from me (I was on the bed).

I clasped my hands between my knees and looked down.

I find it nearly impossible to detail the nature of my relationship with Theodoric. All logic indicates that I should have hated him after what had happened. He was very responsible for what had happened. He was in control of everything. But I felt safe around him, like he knew everything that was happening.

He was a genius. That is the simple fact of the matter.

But try as I might to avoid it, I was somehow drawn to him. He could influence my thoughts, he could tell me what to do. He could help me, I thought. He was strong enough and smart enough to make this revolution work. He could give me a way out of this horrible situation I was in. I could do nothing to him. He dominated my existence.

Was he my friend? I do not know. Still I don't. I…I don't know if I can really relate to you how I felt at that time…but I was so lost, so confused, only he offered me a chance to continue my life…to give me purpose. For reasons I do not know…I somehow…loved this man. Despite his deceitful calculations and blatant self-service, he was somehow my savior, a refuge.

And I could never blame him for Elyana's death…because nothing he did actually caused it. It was all things that I did, or that Kalkannis did, or the Jedi, that caused it. He didn't do anything but watch us fall into a trap. He had even given me a way to avoid all that suffering, but Kalkannis had prevented me from taking it. Theodoric tried to arrange for me a way out. No, it was the Jedi that did this to me!

"But you do have to move on," he said to me.

I sighed.

"Remember her now, then," he said, working his charismatic magic.

"Huh?"

"Close your eyes and remember," he suggested.

"Why?"

"Because you like to remember her. It'll help."

I didn't know what to say. I thought for a moment, scratched my chin and then closed my eyes. I began, "She was so beautiful…to me she was perfect—"

"No," he interrupted, "don't just recite the words."

It became slow. I said deliberately, as I closed my eyes, "You can just feel the details. I can see her smile. Hear her laugh. Touch her hand. Feel her heartbeat. All the bits and pieces that you never bothered to put into words. Those little quirks and idiosyncrasies that you never notice."

I could see her—it was so vivid. But it wasn't a memory. It was something else. Almost like a premonition. I could see her face…so beautiful…and so sad…

"Even if you don't want to…you remember it," I said. "All these…extreme moments. You put everything together and you get the feel of a person. And you remember enough to know how much you miss her. And much you hate the person who took her away…"

Theodoric was silent as he looked at me. He was calm, deliberate. He exhaled slowly and said, "I understand that this is painful."

I said nothing.

"What are you going to about it, then?"

"I don't know," I said.

He stared at me.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I think you know. You have an opportunity here that most in your position would beg for."

"You want me to join your revolution now?" I asked. "I might have earlier…but now I just want nothing. I want to go to sleep and never wake up."

"Don't talk like that. You have a chance to pay them back what they did to you—for destroying your life."

"By doing what? Just fighting? You've already won."

"They'll come back," he said, "and no—not just fighting. You're obviously skilled that way, but you could be more. You could be the representative of what is so wrong with the Republic, with the Jedi."

"What are you getting at?"

"Aetius," he said forcefully, "you could be the head of this whole thing. You could be the leader."

"I am no leader," I said.

"Maybe you've had no experience, but you don't have to lead the nation. You would be the…figurehead. The face of our revolution. Think of it. We create and sustain our new nation. You are the face of a new country. You are the best example of what went wrong. A Jedi—the most Republic someone could get. And you threw off their shackles and joined us. You liberated us from their brutal occupation. We could give you an honorary position in the army—you could be the father of our nation."

"Why me? Why do you care about me?"

"Frankly," he said, "we need you. I need you. People never trust politicians, no matter what the situation is. And you have no connections to any of these planets. The other worlds would look to you. You were a Jedi—and are therefore wise, powerful, and capable. Everyone would turn to you. You are the answer to the Republic."

"It's too much. I'm no hero or savior. I just want to be left alone."

"Of course, I can't make you do this. Only ask."

He lingered for a moment before walking towards the door. I had my head down, but he then stated as he opened the door, "Just think of what their reaction will be when they realize that it was Aetius Glendower that defeated them. That humiliated them. That exposed them as frauds."

I thought.

"And that Gamaliel bastard would surely regret it."

This, I had to admit, appealed to me. I didn't have anything to live for anymore, aside from revenge. And a war against the Republic…that was an opportunity for revenge that few were granted.

I had to think about it.

"You realize," he continued, beginning to smile somewhat frighteningly. "You and I—we're brothers, Aetius."

I looked him in the eyes, confused.

"You're a son of the rim, just like I am. You were taken, and now you've returned to us. You are the prodigal son, and I've been waiting here for you to come back. It was you that made this possible. We're in this together now, bound by fate. We're not like them," he said, meaning the core, "we're different, stronger, more righteous. We can change things. You and I. You believe in these bonds by fate, do you not?"

I did not say anything, but I know that my eyes told him everything. He could read me—he saw that I did.

He was going to leave, I could see. He turned at the door and then looked back me askance. He said calmly, "I need you now, my brother. Just as you need me." He opened the door, nodded to me, and then bowed out.

I spent a few days thinking, and I began to see his wisdom. It was difficult because I really, at that point, didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to retreat into nothingness. But I couldn't do that, and it grew more and more obvious that, as I was already on Doliani, my decision had been made for me. I had tacitly supported them in slaying Kalkannis in the public square and then fleeing from the spotlight. I could join them and help lead the revolution, or just sit there and watch it happen, having been one of the catalysts regardless.

I decided that I would join him.

I could indeed take the fight to the Jedi. I could try to pay them back for ruining my life. For thrusting me into this position, for trying to make me like them. I had nothing more to live for. Nothing else could or would keep me going.

And that, my noble reader, is how I joined the Revolution.

It had no name, as it still doesn't. It was known simply as "The Revolution" or "The Cause."

And now you see how I joined it. This is the end of the first part of my book. You see now how even an idealistic fool, such as I, can be shown how wicked and corrupted the Jedi are. You see how we who fought are not Sith, and most of all are not evil. This is why I spent so much time on all of this: on the backstory, on the feelings, the emotions, my relationships with Kalkannis, Theodoric, and Elyana. These things are left out of the history books, but now you have seen the context of my actions. You see why I hate the Jedi and the Republic, you see. Now you understand why I was the enemy of the Republic, why I fought the war. The war is already known to you—even if you know no history, you know that we eventually lost. I am, after all, in prison. But you did not know how we got to the position we did, you did not know what propelled me to this place.

Now you do.

I am but a man, just as you are. And I got caught up in these events. But if I didn't stop the Jedi, who would? Who would prevent them from destroying more lives? Stealing more children? Driving more parents to their graves? Who would prevent the Republic from unfair taxation and unjust treatment, if not me? Why shouldn't I take this opportunity to stop their reign of terror?

There was no reason. And I joined them—my brothers.

Wholeheartedly.