Author's Notes

Song translations are at the end. They're all from frontier.

It reads a bit funny, but that's because Kouichi's basically on a rollercoaster of a nightmare. Scenes change. You keep running, but you don't necessarily get anywhere. Rules are different. And reality and illusion tend to cross.

SkullBaluchimon is a digimon I found on Wikimon. Really neat pic too. It has the power to imprison an opponent in space (ie. a separate dimension) and chase them with terror or death, but once the walls begin to disintegrate as the opponent releases themselves from the nightmare, it begins to merge with reality. And as the beast spirit of darkness is cursed by Lucemon, the only one who can actually get their hands on it is Kouichi. In that sense, the human spirit of darkness is at least a little manageable by Cherubimon, seeing as he looked after it before Kouichi bonded with it. Beast spirit, like 10 times more powerful...no dice.

The last set of italics is actually from Chapter 1: Darkness and Flame. Though that was so long ago you might have forgotten...or not. Depending on when you read that.

Up next: Scared of the Dark: A blast from the past turns the tables permanently as the legendary warriors realise too late they've crossed an unforgivable line. After all, friends are friends, no matter how you defined them...but this mistake could cost them their lives.

Halfway now. Enjoy.

Butterflies' Flight

AU. Like butterflies, they followed the flame, drawn to his light, despite that fact that following so blindly could potentially lead to corruption. And yet they shy away from the dark, the one thing that may save them yet...

Takuya K & Kouichi K

Chapter 9 – What Lies Beneath

He found himself standing in darkness again. He always had when his eyes closed, when he was younger. He'd drift in the never-ending void, crying for a light, but more importantly, for someone else to simply be there. Because it wasn't the darkness so much he feared; it was the loneliness it brought.

When he was a mere toddler, he'd crawl into his mother's bed and sleep there, safe in the haven of her embrace. But she worked long and hard, and there were times she wasn't home...but then his grandmother would take him in her lap and sing him to a resting slumber. And if he'd wake from another nightmare, there would always be that maternal warmth enveloping him to hide his unseen demons.

'You remember, right?'

Of course he remembered...

Strong hands lifted him up from where he had been clutching the casual yutaka.

'What is it Kouichi-chan?' his grandmother's voice cooed in his ears as the old woman lifted her grandchild into her lap. 'You want obaa-chan to sing you a song?'

The four year old nodded into her dress as she gently rocked him, humming gently into his ear before the melodies melded into words as child and adult drifted amongst them.

'Kaze o ukete tatsu kewashii gake de wa

Jibun no yowasa bakari ga mieru ne

Demo donna pinchi mo haruka e toberu

Chansu ni mo kawaru Kiseki kakushi motteru...'

'You remember, don't you? Being that small weak child that always needed comforting...'

'Densetsu ni wa musuu no hiiroo

Esoragoto to itterarenai...'

'Always holding onto that dream...'

'Yuusha ni ima, iki o fuki kome Wakatte iru sa

Ichiban daiji na buki wa kokoro ni aru nda

Makerarenai Tsuyoku aritai

Kizu darake demo akogareteta mirai e to

Tabidate With the will...'

'Always believing...'

'Niji o oikaketa tooi kioku no

Mujaki sa Doko de nakushita no darou

Shitteru koto ga fueteku sono tabi

Akirameru koto o mi ni tsuketakunai ne

Towa ni tsuzuku jibun no sutoorii

Unmei ni mo sakaratte yaru...'

'Letting go of the truth in such illusions...'

'Toushi ni ima, akari o tomose Wakatte iru sa

Ichiban tegowai aite wa kokoro ni iru nda

Furimukanai Nigetari shinai

Tochuu no mama de me o sorashiteta yume e to

Tobi kome With the will

Yuusha ni ima, iki o fuki kome Wakatte iru sa

Ichiban daiji na buki wa kokoro ni aru nda

Makerarenai Tsuyoku aritai

Kizu darake demo akogareteta mirai e to

Tabidate With the will...'

Her voice trailed off, looking at the sleepy toddler in her lap, curling into her as he held on. 'Better?' she asked kindly, still rocking and beckoning a slumber to take him. But whatever nightmare had taken him must have been worse than most, as the boy simply curled tighter and whimpered in reply.

'Can you sing another song Obaa-chan?' he asked.

And the woman obliged.

'Donna ni hanarete itemo...

Hey!

Miageta sora Kimi wa tooi basho de

Onaji keshiki Mitsumete iru no ka na

Todokanai omoi o

Mune ni kizamitsuke hashitteta nda

Bokutachi ga yumemita ashita ni

Hibiku yo Kimi no warai goe

Dakara bokutachi ga atarashii kaze o

Okosou Mujaki na mama de...'

And somewhere within the innocent painted image, he fell asleep.

But as he grew older, whether it was because of his pride or the burden it put on others, he longer stretched out towards others for comfort, instead offering it where he could and closing his eyes to his own darkness, locking it away so it didn't interfere with his life.

'You chased after your pretty painting of the world, hiding your nightmares away...but what did that bring you but more nightmares?'

Being older...being alone...

Blue eyes opened almost in an almost startled manner, but will alone forced them to ease. The moonlight still danced across his face; he had a habit, much to his mother's chagrin (as it wasn't exactly safe), of leaving the curtains drawn back at night, to coax the darkness back into the corners of the earth where light could not reach them. And between that and the comfort of knowing his mother was simply a wall or phone call away, he'd burrow back into his pillow and blankets and close his eyes again, gently humming to himself as he conjured dreams of fresh grass and blue skies to replace the lonely and bitter road that remained on a horizon he purposely kept covered in fog.

And he'd sleep. And wake again. And forget. And nightmares became night terrors all, eventually even him, became oblivious to.

'But you'd still subconsciously remember, especially when you were alone. Your mother worked too long, your grandmother steadily grew older and sicker...and you didn't have any close friends, did you? None that would stay by your side.'

His feet were running, looking for something, someone, searching...

'And even when you thought you had friends, when they had promised that friendship would last forever...what do they do but forget about you? And you still chase them...'

'Look, I'll promise I'll ring and visit and everything, 'kay? It'll be like I'm right here. I swear.'

But you stopped. You forgot...

'I don't know you.'

'Stop acting like you know me.'

He ran faster.

'...still.'

The cold black vapours buffeted him as he fled from the cage that threatened to impound him.

'Run. Keep running. You won't find anything here...save darkness.'

He still ran.

After all, what else could he do? Except run, and be swallowed in memories...and the dark void of his nightmares.

Run. Keep running. After all, I can chase you forever...and sooner or later, I'll catch up.

'Hey? Are you okay?'

Kouichi looked up, finding a brunette offering his hand and a huge grin. 'Need a hand?'

He took it, allowing the other to pull him up, still with that cheesy smile on his face.

'You know, you're practically covered in mud.'

Yeah, he realised that. Hence why he had been in a puddle. Not that it had been intentional, having tripped up...

Distantly, he heard a male giggling, before the tell-tale rapid footsteps of people running off.

But the boy who helped him up was scrutinising him carefully with a slightly angry air, before his lips twisted into a smirk. 'You know,' he commented, loud enough for most of the street to hear. 'That brown colour looks great on you. But I think you look best in navy blue.'

He was actually in green and grey.

'Oh yeah.' He bowed a little hurriedly. 'I'm Kanbara Takuya.'

'Kimura Kouichi.'

'Well, Kimura-kun.' The brunette suddenly adopted a sheepish look. 'Do you know the way to Itabashi Elementary School?'

''kaa-san?'

'I'm working late again Kouichi.'

He nodded, albeit a little reluctantly. 'I'll make dinner.'

His mother ruffled his hair. 'You're such a good boy.'

'Hey, why are you sitting on your own there buddy?'

Kouichi looked up from his books as Takuya plopped down beside him. 'No lunch?' he asked, examining the spread. 'Honestly, who studies at lunch break?'

The raven didn't reply, simply returning to his work.

'Hey.' The other's voice suddenly sounded a lot softer. 'I didn't mean to offend you or anything-' He cut himself off, before switching. 'Aren't you hungry?'

'No,' Kouichi answered shortly.

'You know, I half expected your stomach to grumble,' the brunette laughed. 'But is there a reason you're sitting alone?'

He certainly was persistent.

'No.'

'Really? Because you were looking rather lonely over here-hah. Thought so.'

He had flinched at 'lonely'.

'No worries. I'll fix that. Because from now on, you're eating with me.'

'Kimura-san. You need to remain in bed for at least-'

The doctor cut off as he watched his patient get up and dig in her closet.

'Kimura-san. You cannot-'

She ignored him, pulling out a uniform shirt and pants to change into.

'I can give you a medical certificate so you can be excused from work-'

'That won't be necessary,' Tomoko interrupted coldly, searching now for her wallet and keys.

The doctor attempted hopelessly to gain some control over the situation.

'You simply cannot go to work.'

She glared at the male. 'And who do you suppose provide for my son and myself if I decide to take a nap?' she asked, before looking at the said son in the doorway.

'Come here,' she said softly.

'You're going to be late 'kaa-san,' he said instead, directing her to the clock.

'Oh dear, you're right. You'll show the doctor out, won't you?'

'Hai 'kaa-san.'

The woman kissed her son on the forehead and left, leaving a flustered doctor behind.

'Why don't you have any other friends?'

'What sort of a question is that?'

'Well...you're a nice guy. And it's not like you're trying to show anyone up or be a stuck up brat; you're an altogether great guy, just a little shy. So what's everyone's problem. I mean, come on! Even the teachers complain.'

'They say I'm not performing to my full potential.'

'Which you're not...why?'

A pause. 'It's really because of what you just said. I get good enough grades as it is. I work hard, but-'

'-but you double up your assignments and hand in the worse one. I watch you know. Purposely trying to appear dumber than you are?'

'I suppose that's one blessing. But I'm just feel so out of place compared to everyone else.'

'Even me?'

'Honestly...even you. And sometimes, I can't help but envy that.'

'Envy huh?' The boy grinned. 'You know what, you are human after all.'

'What exactly do you mean by that?'

A shrug. 'Well...shyness isn't exactly a flaw.'

'You're leaving?'

He sounded almost...hurt.

'I'm sorry!' Takuya cried desperately. ''tou-san's got a transfer. It's not my fault.'

'I know it's not. It's just that...I've never had a friend like you.'

'Geez, you're acting as though we'll never see or hear from each other again. Look, I'll promise I'll ring and visit and everything, 'kay? It'll be like I'm right here. I swear.'

He offered a pinky to the other boy.

'A pinky promise?'

'Sure.'

He took it, hooking his own little finger around the other one.

'And you better not let anyone push you around, or I'll march right back!'

'Kouichi...'

He held his grandmother's hand, no longer strong but frail and a mere shadow of what it once had been.

'You need to know...'

He winced involuntarily at the weak, raspy voice that escaped from his grandmother's throat. The same voice that had once sang so beautifully and boomed so powerfully.

'...you have a brother. You must...find...Kouji.'

His eyes widened. A brother? But how-why-

A long-drawn beeping noise broke the illusion, as both occupants in the room stopped breathing.

One released the held air. One did not...forever stopped.

The light shone so bright, right there, at the end of the tunnel of darkness...but it moved further even as he ran towards it. In that light was a figure, a beacon he had been searching and chasing since the bombshell had been dropped.

'Kouji!'

But he was going too. Turning is back. Leaving...

'No! Don't go! Don't leave me.'

...him.

Gone.

He fell, unable to run, no longer hearing the thundering footsteps behind him, ignoring the happier memories descending into the blackness of those bittersweet and downright painful reigned, tears streaming down his face as the contentment faded into pain, hurt, anger...envy...

The darkness clawed at him, threatening to rip him apart. Alone...alone again. No-one to be there, no warm embrace to lean towards, no sweet voice to listen too, save that grating skeletal haunt.

'I've got you now.'

But...

He felt grief and pain consume him, grip his soul even as its sharp claws threatened to tear him apart. He screamed as the pain filled his mind, though he soon lacked the presence of mind to realise it. As though his very soul was being viciously torn from his body, even as his surroundings changed to pure blackness. Somewhere down the track, he couldn't be sure where, it became rage and anger at the world in general and the unfairness, and all rational thoughts were obliterated in favour of the overflowing dam of emotions raging out of control.

He could feel nothing; see nothing save the darkness he was surrounded by. At that instant, he was aware of nothing save his own emotion. But just as suddenly as it had come about him, it had disappeared, leaving his mind exhausted from the mental onslaught while the tears fled down his cheeks even as his consciousness left him once more.

And he had woken up to a new friend. And the prospect of old friends and family returned.

...they were still waiting for him. Who knew how worried his mother was. And BlackTailmon...where was she? And Cherubimon...he was depending on those final spirits...he was depending on him.

'Not yet you haven't.'

What was there to fight? But himself. He dug deep, past the anger, past the hurt, past the grief and envy that threatened to consume him, to the days where comfort was there, and where he had accepted.

And he could feel those warm embraces again, feel the bubbly laughter rising...

...and he was laughing. For what reason. He didn't know.

And the cage of darkness suddenly solidified into a chained vulture before him, and the footsteps behind him froze.

He stood, staring in shock as the D-scanner in his pocket shot into his outstretched hands, consuming the chains before him.

And the darkness redoubled its assault. But there was another darkness. Warm, comforting...sanctifying.

A click sounded. A chain threatening to break held. The vulture vanished into his D-scanner as a cry of lost prey echoed in the expanse.

And the beast spirit of darkness was consumed, bonded...but not used.

'Will you run?'

'No. I will fight.'

But not with the beast. With the human.

After all, one battle at a time.

You were supposed to run. Because I will chase you eternally till you die. You fight. I bury you now.

But I will make you run.

Or not...

'Deadly-'

'Execute, Spirit Evolution. Duskmon.'

The thing in the darkness growled: low, menacing, beastly...

'Run!'

'No. I won't run.'

'Then die! Grave bone!'

He recognised the attack, special to the SkullBaluchimon species. So this was his doing. His nightmare. A monster with no emotion. No intelligence. Simply doomed to chase his prey for eternity till they die.

The ground shook, threatening to trample him into oblibion. He could have blasted the wrong-doer, the one who attacked him, into oblivion. But he wasn't running. He wasn't fighting him.

He was fighting his own battle.

The ground lifted from his feet.

'Grave bone!'

'Ghost move!' Duskmon countered, vanishing form the path of prey and reappearing behind his quarry, the skeletal baluchitherium, and slashing with a careful precision, remembering the warmth and comfort and sanctuary, the defender of nightmares as opposed to the creator.

The digimon roared in pain, blasting in random directions and causing the dark warrior to take off to avoid being hit. He could feel the darkness lifting around him, the cold vapours no longer so cold...but he was still in the middle of a very important fight.

And he wasn't going to quit here.

'Grave bone!'

The baluchitherium trampled towards him again, and he readied his eyes, each aiming carefully between the gaps of the skeletal structure, not avoiding the centre where the data was always compressed.

'Geist Abend!'

And the red laser beams that shot out hit their mark.

SkullBaluchimon roared in pain, data stemming off as the last of the nightmare cage faded, revealing a forest, an extremely worried Adult, and hundreds of other digimon spirits, all young, most merely at the baby level, crowded in various corners, looking at the light that had set them free from certain death.

Looking at the warrior of darkness who had surpassed expectations. An uncontrollable curse controlled by a young hand.

But it wasn't over. Because control wasn't enough. Purification was needed too. Another step, beyond simply standing up. Another sacrifice. That still remained.

But hope had risen, as the guardian feline lunged for her human companion, watching the data swirl around him and releasing the boy from its cocoon, as in his arms, the ultimate digimon degressed into a small Pupumon in Kouichi's hold as BlackTailmon adapted a position on his head.

'You're crying,' she said softly, watching the moist blue eyes.

'Am I?' Kouichi murmured, looking at the digimon he now held. 'Maybe because now I'm one nightmare less.'

The cat looked down in failure. 'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be,' the other rebuked, turning his gaze upwards. 'That was a lesson I needed to learn.'

'Like?'

'I'll never truly be alone.'

'Papa?'

The two suddenly blinked in unison, staring at the white baby in the human's arms.

'Can you sing me a song, pleeeeeeeeease?'

Kouichi remembered requesting the same in his own childhood, so he smiled and fulfilled the request.

But it wasn't the songs his grandmother sang. Those of innocence and happiness and new dreams.

This was a song of lessons learnt, and paths carved.

This was a song of triumph and regret.

'Itsu ka doko ka de mita you na

Hoshi ga mure tsuki wa aoi yo

Wazuka bakari no hito toki ni

Zutto kokoro ubawareteru...'

Post Author's Notes

Song Translations:

First song: With the Will (Frontier Evolution song)

Standing at a steep cliff and feeling the wind,
All you can see is your own weakness, right?
But whatever troubles you have, they'll become the chances to fly far away,
and they conceal miracles.

Legends have countless heroes.
It can't be called just a pipe dream.

Now, breathe life into the heroes! I know for a fact:
the most valuable weapon is inside my heart.
I won't lose. I want to become stronger
Even if I'm riddled with injuries, I will set out in search of the future
I long for With the will

The innocence of my distant memories of chasing rainbows...
I wonder when I lost that feeling?
As I come to learn more and more things,
I don't want to learn how to give up.

My story will continue forever,
I'll even go against destiny

Now, light a fire under your fighting spirit! I know for a fact:
The most formidable opponent is the one inside my heart.
I can't turn back and I won't run away.
The dream that I was once heading for but looked away from,
I'll jump right into it With the will

Now, breathe life into the heroes! I know for a fact:
the most valuable weapon is inside my heart.
I won't lose. I want to become stronger
Even if I'm riddled with injuries, I will set out in search of the future
I long for With the will

Second Song: Innocent ~ Remaining Innocent

no matter how apart we are...

hey!

looking up at the sky, you are far away
are you looking at the same scenery?

the feelings that won't reach you
I engrave it in my heart and run

the tomorrow that we dreamed about
your laughter echoes

so lets create
a new wind remaining innocent

the memory of enjoying hand in hand
might disappear from the memory

the reality in front of me
I looked away from it so that I won't be swept away

the future that we believed in
we can change it into strength
and we will be able to meet again
our hearts are right by each other

no matter how apart we are...

the feelings that won't reach you
I engrave it in my heart and run

the tomorrow that we dreamed about
your laughter echoes
so lets create
a new wind remaining innocent

Third Song: In the blue (Kouji's image song – Japanese version)

As if I had seen them sometime, somewhere
The stars clustered, the moon was blue
In a single moment
My heart was completely taken from me

Guided by the stars on the evening of that day
It floated in my heart, murmuring...

In your eyes, that one regret
Bathed in the moonlight, I laugh
In my heart, the regret I can't erase
Repeats every time I lament over those words
Shivering... in the blue, blue moon

It seems I've grown up just a little
And have become accustomed to stretching out a bit
in my nonstop everyday life
I'm always searching for an answer

Now, It seems to me that only you
Haven't changed from how you were on that day
In your eyes, that one regret
I wonder if I can forget it by running
In my heart, the regret I can't erase
This tiny me has become a bit accustomed to that pain
I'm laughing... in the blue, blue moon

In your eyes, that one regret
Bathed in the moonlight, I laugh
In my heart, the regret I can't erase
Repeats every time I lament over those words
Shivering... in the blue, blue moon

In your eyes, that one regret
In my heart, the regret I can't erase
In your eyes, that one regret
Blue, blue moon

Remembering... in the blue, blue moon

All songs and translations are taken from anime lyrics dot com.