I can never apologize enough for making you guys wait this long! I had a huge writer's block but once I started writing, it all came so fast and I had no problem! I can only say you'll never have to wait this long again and I hope you're still interested!

Thanks so much to Gabi for helping me through this and supporting me to write and update! She is now the beta for this story too and did a great job!

Never in a million years did Sam think his brother would end up in rehab, yet here they were, standing in front of the building side by side.

Dean hadn't had a drink in a day and he was a total wreck. His eyes were bloodshot and he had bags under them from no sleep. His whole body shook with tremors once in a while and his hands never stopped shaking. The whole day Dean had been complaining about a headache and sometimes his yells of pain became so bad that Sam almost ran to the nearest liquor store just to spare his brother the pain. But he knew he couldn't do that anymore, Dean couldn't have any more alcohol for as long as he lived, and that's just how it worked.

It had been hard to find a rehab center that allowed Sam to accompany Dean but this one would allow Sam to visit and join Dean to certain sessions and meetings. The workers there had instructed Sam that Dean would beg for alcohol during his stay and that by under no means should he ever give it to him. They told him Dean was going to get out of control and wouldn't seem like himself but that was part of the process and that he would get better. He had been informed that if anyone found out if Sam was sneaking alcohol to Dean that they would both get kicked out immediately.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked Dean as they stood there, just seconds away from Dean being admitted.

Dean shrugged. "I'll never be ready."

"But you want this don't you? You want to get better right?"

Dean was silent for a moment. "I want us to be brothers again." He whispered.

And that was good enough for Sam.

The first week went relatively well, or rather better than Sam had assumed. Dean was holding on and he was trying, he really was. When Sam joined him for group meetings with the other patients Dean took comfort in Sam being there and opened up. Whenever he was wary about something he would look at Sam for encouragement and go on when Sam nodded.

Sam had been surprised though at how so many patients didn't have anyone supporting them. Those individuals seemed the worst off, not wanting to share anything and snapping at every comment. It was obvious that they did not choose to be here and it made Sam grateful that at least he and Dean had each other.

They didn't share how they ended up addicted in the group meetings yet. Rather they talked about what was important to them and what they wanted to do once they were clean, what they thought their life had in store for them.

"Me and my brother are going to spend some time together. Then we're going to go back to work, back to the family business." Dean had said at one meeting. It was the first time Sam had heard that Dean wanted to go back to hunting

"Is this something you look forward to Dean?" The woman group councilor asked.

Dean looked at Sam and then back to the woman. "Yeah. It is. He...it's...the thing that keeps me going."

Sam wasn't allowed into the individual psychiatrist sessions though. But whenever Dean came back he was extremely silent and had this thoughtful yet confused expression on his face, almost as though he was trying to make sense of everything.

Rehab didn't come without its drawbacks though. Dean was an alcoholic, or maybe now a recovering alcoholic, and that meant he was going to get cravings. Intense cravings at that.

"Just one beer Sammy, I'm begging you man!" Dean whined, he would do this almost every day.

"You know I can't do that Dean." Sam said simply, looking away so he wouldn't see the pain on his brother's face.

"But my head...it's...it's killing me man! I feel like it's going to explode...I...I can't take it anymore!" Dean actually sobbed, full blown tears leaking out of his emerald eyes.

"It will get better Dean. I promise you, it will."

"I'm just asking for one! Just so this migraine will go away. One small beer, that's all I'm asking! Just one and I'll never ask for anymore again, I swear!" Dean had the sheets of his bed clasped so tightly in his fists and they were still shaking. His eyes were wide and red-rimmed.

"No Dean. You can't have anymore. This is how you'll get better, how you'll get back to how you were before. You know that." Sam braced himself for what he knew was going to come next.

"Fuck you, you piece of shit. Get out of here!" Sam knew Dean didn't mean it, that it was his addicted brain making him say these things but it didn't stop the hurt of hearing his brother's voice say these hateful words to him.

"Dean..." Sam couldn't help it from coming out like a whimper.

"Now! Get out! I fucking hate you! Leave me alone if you won't help me!" The venom in Dean's voice was just too much to handle.

"I am helping you." Sam whispered as he left, letting a single tear roll down his face as he went back to the motel he was staying at.

It was never long after Dean's outbursts that he would call; the one line the rehab center gave him access to was Sam's cell.

"Dean?" Sam asked, still feeling undeniably hurt by the words.

"Sammy." Dean choked out, he was crying. This time not from anger but from sadness, fear and guilt. "I'm sorry. I'm so god damned sorry. Please, I didn't mean that, any of it. God, Sammy..."

"So you don't hate me?"

"What? I said that? God, no Sammy! I don't even know what I'm saying when I get like that, it's like the pain is so bad I just lash out, want you to hurt and I'm so sorry." He heard Dean's breath hitching painfully.

"It's okay Dean, I know that wasn't really you." Sam told him, feeling better.

"It wasn't, it really wasn't."

"Do you want me to come back?" Sam asked even though he knew what the answer would be, but Dean was afraid to ask Sam on his own.

"Yes. God, please yes." Dean sighed and that added as an after thought. "If you want to, that is."

"Of course I do, I'll be right there." Sam almost hung up the phone then, and maybe Dean thought he did when the older brother said his next words.

"I need you Sammy. Thank you...thank you."

It was in the middle of the second week when Sam got the call. Dean didn't have any meetings at the moment so they were taking a walk around the center which had a running path all set up for the patients. The workers had said it was a great activity for the patients to do, go outside, get fresh air and look at the beautiful scenery. Dean seemed to really enjoy it at least.

"I can't wait 'till I get out of here, back on the open road, killing evil sonuvabitches." He smirked, sitting back against a tree. Sam could tell that while Dean was still having many problems, parts of the old Dean were coming out. The smirking, the stupid jokes, wanting to hunt. Little by little he was coming back and even though Sam knew he would never be exactly the same ever again, it didn't matter. As long as Dean was happy and relaxed and didn't have to worry, didn't have to drink, he'd be fine.

"Can you tell that you're making progress?" Sam asked him and sat down beside him.

Dean looked down at his still-shaking hands but then looked over at Sam. "Uh, yeah. I do kinda feel a little better. Even when the headaches get worse I know that's one more day I've been clean, one day closer to getting out of here."

They didn't talk about how Dean got raped although Sam was fairly certain that Dean did with the psychiatrist. But whatever she was telling him must be working. Dean smiled more, even though sometimes it was strained, he talked a lot more and he was nowhere near as twitchy. He was still hesitant around other people but he had gotten to the point where he knew he wasn't going to get hurt around certain people.

Sam was about to tell Dean how proud he was of him when his phone started ringing.

"Hi Sam, this is Julie." Julie? Oh right, his landlady from his old apartment...what the... "I noticed that you left."

"Um, yeah. It was an emergency. I had to go, a family emergency." Sam watched as Dean cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Well I need you to come back so we can settle some stuff. It's important."

"Do I need to? Is it really necessary?" Sam groaned, he should have changed his number when he got his new phone, but he hadn't thought about it, too busy worrying about his brother.

"Yes Sam, you can't just leave and expect everything to be fine. I need you to get here as soon as possible."

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can." Sam sighed and hung up. His brother was looking at him expectantly.

"What was that about?" Dean asked warily.

"I need to go back to my apartment. The landlord is giving me a fit." God, he did not want to tell Dean this.

"What?" Dean's voice rose a bit as he said so. "But come on Sam, just ignore her, you don't need to."

"Dean, we're stuck here for a while, it's not like we can just run away from our problems at the minute."

"But...Sam...what about my meetings and stuff?" Sam heard the unspoken words there What about me? Don't forget about me man. You're supposed to go with me to my meetings. I need you. Sammy, please. Don't leave me.

"I'm not going to leave you." Sam answered Dean's hidden words. "I'm just going to get this sorted out and be back as soon as possible. It should only take a few days at tops."

"A few days?" Dean swallowed, his eyes held fear.

"It's a while away. I'll call you Dean okay? All the time. If you ever need to call me then do so and I'll always answer okay?" He put a hand on his dejected brother's shoulder and they headed back to Dean's room.

"Are you going to come back? Just tell me the truth now so I'll know." Dean said suddenly. Sam spun around to look at him and saw Dean staring intently at the floor right below him.

"Dean, of course I am! I'm not going to just ditch you! If I hadn't got this call I wouldn't be going anywhere at all. I promise you I'll be back as soon as I can. You believe me right?" He asked, tipping his brother's chin up so he would look at him.

"Yeah, sure." Dean said with a fake smile.

That was the best Sam was going to get.

Dean watched Sam as he left and gave a false happy wave. Sam said he'd be back but Dean just couldn't believe him though. Why would Sam want to come back to his alcoholic brother? After Sam got a glimpse of the real world again, he wouldn't want to be stuck back here with all of Dean's problems.

Dean couldn't do it; he just couldn't go to these meetings and believe in himself without Sam by his side. Sam had been his rock through all of this and now he was just gone suddenly. How was Dean going to adjust?

He couldn't do this. Not without his brother.

Sam never stopped driving all night, only stopping once at a fast food place to grab something to eat, and that was only because he was starving and he had to pee. There wasn't one moment where he didn't think of Dean. He worried every mile of the way and cursed the landlady who had been so adamant that he just had to come back. Sam knew that Dean wouldn't be able to think straight, that he would doubt Sam's intention to come back and that he probably would have a setback in therapy. Dean had been doing so well and a setback would just screw everything to hell.

He arrived back at his apartment the next morning. He just wanted to get this done with and over so he could get back to Dean. He saw how upset his brother had been and didn't want to leave him for long like that. Sam called him to tell him he was here but Dean seemed distant and kept the conversation short.

Sam sighed as he walked out of the Impala and up to the apartment where the landlord said she would meet him. He grabbed his phone and noticed then that there was a voice mail waiting for him. But he had just talked to Dean, who could it be?

"Sam, this is your father. I had no idea what had happened to Dean and you don't know how sorry I am. Let me know..." Sam gaped in wonder at his father's voice as he walked into his apartment. "Let me know where you boys are. I want..."

However Sam's listening was cut short as he felt a sharp pain on the side of his head. The pain caused him to drop his phone and before he could see his attacker he was hit in the same spot again.

He faded to blackness with the sound of his father's voice still vibrating through his head.