It had taken a lot of courage for Gil Grissom to send Sara that message. He was betting heavily that Heather's inferences about Sara's unspoken motives were correct. If Sara's words were taken literally, they essentially declared the time had come to end the relationship. The clues that said otherwise were subtle at best. He was hoping, and even praying, that they told the real story.

With every passing day that he had no reply, those hopes faded a bit more. One thing you could count on from Sara, she wouldn't hesitate to speak up. It may be a flurry of wild ideas; 'over talking' she always called it, but out it came never the less. That tendency had actually landed her in trouble a few times over the years.

While Gil's approach was a slow consideration of his message, refining it, and amending it, and often just keeping it to himself, Sara couldn't be more opposite. Gil couldn't picture Sara on the ship working over her reply, finding the right words, the right quote, or perfecting her sentiments. Oh, no, if Sara hadn't replied, it was a because of something more ominous. What she had to say would be devastating.

The worst case scenario would be that she'd fallen in love with someone else. The very notion tormented him, but with each passing day, it was the only thing that made sense.

Catherine tried to get him to open up to her, but he couldn't possibly divulge his greatest fear to another living soul. She knew there was something terribly wrong and wanted so badly to help him. He couldn't remember the last time he had a decent night's sleep, and it showed. He obsessively checked his email every chance he got, and got more depressed with each unyielding attempt.

Gil had no idea that all that time, Sara was having her own pity party while manufacturing a crisis of her own. She wasn't delayed in responding, she hadn't even been able to see his message. Both of them were just wallowing in angst, and needlessly. At least Sara knew Gil may not reply right away, but it still didn't stop her from fearing what he might say, and the wait was pure torture.

Just before leaving the lab, he wanted to check one last time, and lo and behold, there it was. He couldn't breathe, he so feared what the message might contain. Was the relationship over? He would know soon enough. He got comfortable in front of his computer, braced himself, and clicked to open the message.

Gil,

I just finished reading the most welcome sentiment I have ever received. Your words were so eloquent and beautiful, what will follow here is sure to be an over talking, chaotic mess, a veritable flight of ideas! I have no time to organize my thoughts, and I am rocked to my core by your entire message. You wouldn't believe what I had to do to even be able to read it! Right now, I'm in some flea bag hotel, whose name I can't even pronounce, while an angry mob is yelling Spanish obscenities at me waiting for me to get off the computer, so that's also a little distracting.

I was stunned to hear your optimism because I didn't see any of that when I was with you. All that talk about the Adlers, and the parallels you drew to us???? I thought sure you wanted me to leave you, set you free if I couldn't return. I went off to ponder that. I apologize for being out of touch, but I couldn't think objectively if I was always calling you up. I needed the space and the distance, but I neglected to think that you would be worried about my safety. Yikes, so sorry.

There is no way I can be a worthy partner for you living in Vegas. Once I knew that as a certainty, I really only had one choice. I would give you what you asked for. Or what I thought you asked for. I'm so confused. Really, really confused.

We have no internet on the ship, and the ports are very primitive for the most part. A very isolated place. Please, be patient with my lack of contact until I get back.

I can't wait to hear your voice. I will call as soon as I get a chance. I will wait for you. I love you, and only you,

Sara

Gil Grissom was overcome with relief. Heather was spot on in her interpretation of Sara's true message. The relationship wasn't over, but they still had a huge hurdle to overcome, distance. At least now Gil could really think about leaving the lab since he now knew for certain Sara still wanted him with her. It was a monumental decision to face, but he was ready to consider his options.

Out of character he shot back an off the cuff reply, he wanted it to be there waiting for her next chance she had to check. And now he understood, she wouldn't be able to respond right away, but that was Ok.

Sara,

Thank you for answering. Words can't describe how relieved I am to be back in touch with you.

I'm sorry I confused you. I thought those things I said might scare you into staying with me, I suppose. I'm not even all that sure myself. It was a rough time, and I didn't want you to leave. I hope you can forgive me.

Looking forward to your call

Love, Gil

He went home, and did something he hadn't done for a long time, he slept.

The next week brought some awful cases, and they continued to tweak his emotions like never before. It was disturbing. He was beginning to feel first hand what had haunted Sara all that time. The hours were long, and he was sleeping again, which left little time for thinking. But, he didn't worry for he knew Sara would give him all the time he needed. That's just the way she was.

He still obsessively checked his emails, but without the anxiety over the content he might find. No word from Sara for over a week, and then there it was.

Gil,

Just a quick message to check in. I've finished my time on the Sea Shepard, it was the experience of a lifetime. Just amazing. I just hopped a plane to Ecuador, and now I'm waiting to fly on to Costa Rica. I am heading to the La Selva Research station. I thought I would have some down time, but it's now or never for this chance, and they need me to go straight there. I understand that once I'm there, I'll be able to contact you much easier. I'll fill you in on what I'm doing then. So, talk to you SOON!

Love, Sara

Now it was Grissom's turn to be confused. "Costa Rica!" he said out loud, to no one in particular, "Research station? What the heck is she doing now?" He simply rolled his eyes, wondering when Sara's wander lust would settle down.

After what felt like an endless odyssey, Sara finally arrived at La Selva totally exhausted. She was given a room, and just collapsed without even unpacking. When she awakened, the hot shower worked like magic to revive her. She quickly dressed and ventured out to see just what she had landed in.

She was brought to the office of Dr. Russell Williams and introduced. The man was trim and fit, but his skin was weathered, and it was hard for Sara to pinpoint his age. When he rose from behind his desk, he was not even as tall as Sara. He wore a baseball cap, leaving Sara to wonder if he was really bald, as Ross had said. He greeted her with a genuine smile and extended his hand, "I am so pleased to meet you, Sara, Ross has really bragged on you."

The corner of her mouth pulled back, "Oh, dear, I hope not too much."

"Here's a schedule for you. Right now we're putting together protocols, and figuring out manpower we'll need, locations to use in the field, and that sort of thing. We're really happy to have you on board."

"Oh, no, I'm the one who is grateful, Dr. Williams, thank you for…"

But, he cut her off, "First of all, call me Rusty, everybody else does, and hold off on the thanks until you see how hard I'm going to work you."

Sara smiled back, "That's one thing that doesn't scare me in the least."

They shared a laugh and some small talk before Sara got up the nerve to ask if she could call someone in the states. "I've been isolated on this ship for two months, and I really need to make some calls, or at least emails, is that possible?"

"Of course! I'll bet you do have some calls to make, follow me," and he led her out to another office with a computer, a phone, and various files and books. "You can use this for now. The code to dial the states is right here," he pointed to a memo taped to the desk near the phone. He gave her directions to the bathroom, snack and drink machines, water fountain, cafeteria, and basically told her to go exploring until her schedule started up the next day.

When he left, she just stared at the phone, would it really be that easy? Just pick up the phone and start dialing? Only one way to find out.

She dialed the code numbers to get her to the United States, and then punched in Grissom's cell.

"Grissom."

"Hey, it's Sara."

"Oh, my God, Sara! Where are you?"

"Costa Rica, but I haven't seen much of it yet. I'm here to work on a research project. I met someone on the Sea Shepard who had done research here for years. I asked him about it and he found a project for me to work on."

"What kind of project?"

"There are multiple bird species whose numbers are on the decline, but one species that is thriving. So we're going to try to figure out what is making the thriving species so successful, and maybe help the others eventually. And, best of all, the study will include all this field work in the rainforest."

"Well, I see why you wanted to do that, it sounds fascinating and just perfect for you with your love of animals."

"I'm crushed that I won't see you yet though. I'm really not sure how long I'll be doing this. But, I am totally committed to you while you face your options and decide. And, even if you decide to stay for now, it's Ok with me. I only said all that stuff because I thought you wanted out. Does that make any sense or am I just over talking again?"

Grissom just laughed, this was his Sara, true to form. "It makes sense, Dear."

"Whew, Ok, well, I'm going to call you everyday until we head out into the field, and I'll get the rest of my contact information so you'll be able to reach me."

They exchanged their love you's and miss you's, and finally hung up. The last time they had spoken had been such a disaster. In the wake of losing Warrick, wanting to stay together but on different terms, and Sara's misery in Las Vegas, things weren't clear between them, far from it. Now they were on such solid ground, not together, yet, but knowing where they both stood at least. Not a bad place considering the thin ice they just skated over.

tbc...

a/n: The angst is clearing, and big twist coming next chapter....