Chapter Ten

Danny

160 years
Purgatory

Hushed whimpering from the branches above woke me. Panic set in as I realized Annabelle had been sleeping there, but faded when I looked up and saw her safe, but in the throes of a nightmare. She hadn't quite learned to keep the nightmares internal yet. She was doing better though. When she first got down here, she'd wake up screaming. It drew a crap load of attention to us. I've been working on teaching her to quiet down ever since.

I got up high enough to lightly shake Annabelle and whispered, "Annabelle. Annabelle, wake up."

Annabelle immediately snapped out of her nightmare, her eyes wide and breaths uneven, and reached for my arm. Once she realized it was just me, she scooted back to where the branch met the tree trunk, brought her knees to her chest, and stared at me.

"Was I making noises again? I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It's okay, we'll work on it. You look pretty shaken up," I said as I processed Annabelle's appearance.

"They were extra bad tonight…"

"Do you want to talk?"

"Not really. It's the same old stuff just a little more intense." Annabelle shifted her weight. Her eyes told a completely different story than her words.

I pulled myself onto the branch with Annabelle. "What made it more intense?"

"It was just . . . things from Purgatory were in there. You were in there."

"You just have to remember they're not real. They can't hurt you or me or Sam or Dean or whoever else you're seeing them hurt, okay?"

Annabelle nodded though she looked like she wanted to argue. I kept my eyes on her expecting her to start talking, but when she didn't after a good two minutes, I sighed.

"What were you going to say instead of nodding?" I asked.

"Nothing. Can we just drop it? I really don't want to argue tonight," Annabelle said in the hushed tone she used when she truly didn't want to fight with me, even if it was nothing big.

"Is that thought gonna keep bringing you down whenever you have nightmares? If it is, I need to know it no matter what. After all, if you're distracted, you're not at your best; and I need you at your best."

Annabelle was quiet for a long time again, but I refused to leave the tree until she gave me an answer. Finally, she said, "What if they can hurt me? What if they're just showing the future? I mean, I had nightmares about Dylan and Marina's deaths, and it happened. I'm just scared that they'll come true and leave me alone down here and up there, and I don't want to be alone, especially not down here. I want to see you get out of here."

It was my turn to be quiet. I had never heard Annabelle admit that she was scared. I had seen fear in her eyes, but she had never actually uttered the words "I'm scared" to me. Andbutso, I didn't know what to say to her. I reverted to sarcasm.

"Annabelle Winchester scared? I don't believe it!" I joked.

Annabelle gave me a small smile and lightly shoved me. She tried to use a joking tone, but I could hear the slight seriousness in her voice and see that there was no joking look in her eyes when she said, "Annabelle Winchester is always scared, Genius. She just hides it well."

"Maybe she should admit it more so someone can be there for her when she's scared. I hope she knows she doesn't have to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders alone. She can ask for help."

"Maybe she wants help, but she won't ask for it because every time she does, somebody gets hurt. Maybe her goal in holding the world on her own is to protect the ones she loves."

It was hard to be angry at Annabelle when she looked so scared, but I couldn't help it. Whenever she got this way, whenever she thought everything was her fault, I felt a spark of anger.

"Well, she should know that it's not her fault. When someone wants to help her, it's because they care about her and don't want her to get hurt either," I fired back.

Annabelle looked away from me with the hint of tears in her eyes and said, "This is why she didn't want to talk. She knew this is what would be said, and she didn't want a fight. She's ending the conversation now."

"Annabelle, I didn't . . . I just meant that letting someone help you isn't a bad thing. If they offer to help you, it means they don't care what happens to them as long as they can make sure you're okay."

Annabelle stayed quiet. After saying, "I'm sorry, Annabelle, and goodnight," I left her tree.

~oOo~

Annabelle shook me awake early in the morning.

"We should get going, and I accept your apology," she said.

I blinked the sleep out of my eyes and looked at Annabelle. She was trying her best to look like she was okay and ready to go, but that didn't work on me anymore. She looked tired and pretty nervous. She kept shifting from one foot to the other and biting her lip. I began packing my things up for the day's walk.

"Are you feeling okay, Annabelle?" I asked as I zipped up my backpack.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Do I really look that bad?" she asked in a joking tone.

I pretended to critically look over her now bony frame. Finding food was getting harder and harder. We were only finding enough to keep us alive.

"No, darling," I said in my best fashion critic voice, "you look wonderful."

Annabelle grinned and shook her head. "Why thank you, Daniel, dear. Shall we get going?"

"Yes, of course, but do keep in mind that if you ever call me Daniel again we might just have to fight," I said in a slightly more serious tone. I hated being called Daniel.

"I'll keep that in mind. Let's go!"

Annabelle ran off leading the way and reverting to the trees whenever she felt uneasy.

~oOo~

We travelled for weeks without any major attacks, but I noticed Annabelle slowing down and paying less attention to what she was doing. One day as we were running through Purgatory, Annabelle nearly ran right into a trap the monsters had set up to catch themselves a meal. I grabbed her arm just in time and pulled her back. She fell against me, but I hadn't pulled her back that hard. I moved my hands to her shoulders and steadied her out making her look at me. Annabelle looked as if she was just waking up: her eyes had a tired glaze over them and her eyelids drooped.

"I—I'm sorry," she muttered. "I didn't see that there."

I pulled Annabelle a little ways away from the clearing with the trap, had her sit at the bottom of a tree leaning on the trunk, and kneeled in front of her giving her a stern look. "How long has it been since you slept last?" I asked.

"Um . . ." she took a minute to go over events in her mind, "the day that weird lizard thing attacked us."

I counted the days from then until now and felt my eyes widen. "Annabelle! That was nine days ago!"

"Shh. You'll draw attention to us."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Too many nightmares."

I sat down in front of Annabelle. "Talk to me. Tell me about the nightmares. Let me help you. You have to sleep."

She was too tired to argue with me and immediately began to spill everything. "It's always Dylan and Marina and my family and the people I've lost on cases just screaming at me that it's my fault they're dead. Then it usually fades to Sam, Dean, and Cas. They ask where I am and why I left them. Then it'll be Purgatory and you and losing you over and over again. I can't . . . I can't keep seeing that."

"Listen, Annabelle, I promise you it's not your fault those people died, and you need to stop blaming yourself. Once you do, those nightmares will go away, okay?" I asked. Annabelle nodded, and I continued. "When you see Sam, Dean, and Cas, you need to tell yourself and tell them you'll be back soon because you will. As for the Purgatory nightmares, just try to block them out. You won't lose me. Do you think you can do this?"

"I'll try."

"Sleep. I'll keep watch until you wake up."

Annabelle nodded and climbed into the lowest branch of the tree before instantly falling asleep. She slept the rest of that day and slept more often and better for a few weeks after. Suddenly, our nightmares seemed to flare up at the same time.

My nightmares about my mom seemed to get worse and nightmares of becoming hopelessly lost without Annabelle in Purgatory started to haunt me. I was able to hide my nightmares well, Annabelle didn't seem to notice them at all, but Annabelle sometimes woke from her nightmares in a defensive stance on her branch or by falling out of the tree she was sleeping in. She refused to tell me about her nightmares and began sleeping less, but still sleeping. I figured as long as she was getting at least a little sleep, I had nothing to worry about.

I was wrong. After months without a battle, a huge group of assorted monsters jumped out of the trees at Annabelle and I. I noticed Annabelle's movements were a little sluggish, but she was getting what she needed to done. Towards the end of the battle, Annabelle started slowing down. Before she could get out of the way, one of the monster's teeth sunk into her neck. Almost immediately, Annabelle began to pale and her knees buckled.

I ran to her as fast as I could, cut down the monster, and positioned myself in front of Annabelle to protect her. There were only a few monsters left. I ended the battle quickly and dropped to my knees next to Annabelle. She groaned when I rolled her onto her back which was a good thing, but she'd lost a lot of blood and didn't say anything.

"Annabelle? Are you still with me, Smartass?" I asked.

Annabelle gave a slight nod. I cleaned up the bite marks on her neck and covered them up. I briefly left Annabelle to fill the small tin cup with water. When I came back, I moved Annabelle so she was sitting against a tree and brought the cup to her lips. She took a few sips.

"You were a little slow out there, Annabelle. What's going on?" I asked gently.

"Just an off day I guess," Annabelle lied.

"Do you wanna tell me about the nightmares? Promise I won't be mad."

Annabelle took a few more sips of water before answering. "It's the same things. Your tips worked for a while then they came back . . . and more violent."

"More violent?"

She nodded weakly. "They're not just screaming at me; they're attacking me. I don't know what to do about it so I just stopped sleeping so much."

"We'll figure it out. For now, you need rest. Would you be okay if I left you to find something for us to eat?"

Annabelle nodded and I left her to get dinner. I came back with a scrawny bird that would normally only feed one of us, but it would have to do for now. I would let Annabelle have most of it. She needed it more than me. Annabelle gave me a look that meant she wasn't going to let me fulfill my plan.

"Bad night for hunting," I explained as if I didn't understand the look she was giving me.

"I sincerely hope you're not gonna try to be a gentleman about it. We'll split the bird evenly," Annabelle answered in the same tone I had used.

"Annabelle, you need it more. We've gotta—."

"No. You have to eat, too, and if you won't take half the bird, I won't eat at all."

"That's not fair."

"Neither is me getting more of it than you."

I sighed. "Fine, you win."

I set up the fire, prepped the bird, and began to cook it. Annabelle asked multiple times if there was anything I wanted her to help with even though she knew I would always answer, "No, don't worry about it. Just relax for now. Drink some more water." We each ate our halves of the bird, and by then Annabelle looked as if she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

"Are you going to sleep down here tonight?" I asked.

Annabelle looked terrified by the thought. "No, no, I'll sleep in the tree, but before I go to sleep, what do you think I should do about the nightmares?"

"Your subconscious is still convinced those deaths were your fault. That's why the nightmares came back. I think you should take some time to go deep inside yourself, go over the deaths again, and realize it truly wasn't your fault. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a good plan. Thank you, Danny. If you want to sleep, wake me up, okay?"

I nodded even though I was going to let Annabelle sleep through the night. She had a tough night. She kept squirming in her branch and tears slid from her tightly closed eyes every now and then. I guessed she was reliving the deaths. If she did it right, her nightmares would go away for the most part.

Annabelle and I kept on our way through Purgatory. The terrain started to get rougher, and trees started to get sparser. Annabelle got jumpy whenever she wasn't able to climb into a tree, and when she was, she would stay in the trees as we travelled. She was in the trees almost full time.

We were picking our way through a particularly rocky area without trees. Annabelle jumped at nearly every sound and her hand never left her machete. I could hear her say things under her breath like, "Just a bird," or, "Get it together, Winchester; this is ridiculous," but never called her out on it or made any comments. If talking to herself was getting her through this, so be it. We were almost to the tree line when Annabelle yelled, "Danny!" and pulled me down on the rocks a split second before an arrow sailed passed where I had just been standing.