The Perfect Son

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own them, kinda sad isn't it?

Chapter Nine- Is there a light?

Raphael:

DAMN! What would it take to get through to Leo? Why hadn't Leo been able to recall even a little something?

After a week or so, he still treated us pretty much like strangers, oh he was nice and friendly with Mike when the two of them were kiddin' around laughin' and jokin' bout nonsensical sort of stuff. But there was no doubt there was a gap there, a distance between us all.

Don kept insisting that we had to be patient, give Leo time that it might take a while before he recalled anything of significance, "and who knows what, exactly will be the key that will open the door for him. We just have to provide what we can for him in hopes that we've found the right key."

I thought that Leo had enough to go on to member something, anything, even if he thought of one small little thing, anything to say that we were actually gitting through to him.

I headed up to the roof tops after leaving Christine's apartment, to be on the safe side I moved off so as not to attract attention to the place, we had to be very careful with Leo in his…well, absence of memory… would be easy pickings for any enemies that might be in the area.

Damn! I wish Master Splinter was still around, he would have been able to git through to Leo, he'd have known some ninja trick to aid his memory along. He would have been able to somehow return Leo to us, as he had once been. But that was gone, much like Leo's memory.

A part of me said maybe it wasn't so bad, having Leo like this after all. I mean didn't have to deal wit lectures, or his slave driving attitude and…nah, I wanted Leo back.

I sighed heavily, knowing things wouldn't be right if Leo wasn't really, a part of our family. He wasn't his bold confident self any more. Every once in a while I'd see something in his eyes -like when he was talkin' bout fighting and how it wasn't right.

He was haunted by something. Just as I felt haunted when I thought both Leo and Splinter were dead. I was sure Leo's new found fears could be placed at the Foot's doorstep -once again.

I know how hard it had been on Leo the first time, I practically forced him to return, on top of calling him a coward for hiding out for so long.

Yeah, that time had been bad enough. This time it was worse, much worse, in fact it was bout as bad as you could get when ya factored in that it had nothing to do with us or fighting.

A part of me wondered if I threw a punch at Leo, if his old instincts would come to the fore and he'd defend himself. But a part of me held back thinking that Leo in his new found conviction of not fighting would stand there and let me beat him like a punchin' bag. Of course if I did that, he'd then have good reason not to see us, so I wasn't gonna screw it up for the rest of us.

I'd sure as hell, love to know what was going on inside of Leo's mind right now. I wanted to try and help Leo but all my knowledge of who and what he was before didn't do me a damn bit of good. Because Leo, in forgetting who he was, had also changed what he was.

He wasn't the Leo I grew up with, no where near the Leo I had battled with over my lack of responsibilities or what have you. He now denied his training, his skill of fighting, didn't even order us about.

I might have been happy wit him if he remembered us and took an interest in fighting with us again. But the way he was now sure as hell, didn't impress me much.

I'd often wished in the past that he'd stop being so strict, bossy, and trying to prove he was able to lay the law down to us. He'd done it wit this, but he had swung too far the other way now.

Ah, yeah be careful what ya wish for Raph. Ya just might get it!

I couldn't figure out why he hadn't recalled anything, why there was a lack of connection -in spite of all our attempts. Why was he still unsure of us and who he was?

I looked up at the sky, shaking my head "Splintah give me a clue here, how do I help Leo? I'm doin' my best at keep the family together and practicing, what more can ya expect?" I demanded of the blackness above.

Splinter wanted something more, his ghost wasn't going be leaving me alone anytime soon. I swore I could hear my father's soft accusing voice saying that I was to blame for what Leo was now, and it was up to me to correct it.

Gee! Thanks, a lot Splinter. I'm so glad you are here for me, to help me out and all.

Damn!

I slammed a balled fist into my other hand, there had to be a way to get Leo back. I just felt that what we were doing just wasn't enough in this case. If something was gonna give, it would have given by now, it should have given by now.

So, the answer had to lay elsewhere, and we still needed to figure out what to ask to get to the heart of the problem.

Great! Just what we need, to go from 'can you remember?' to twenty questions, hell- the way Leo's memory was forget twenty questions, try a couple hundred maybe.

I was gittin very bored of these kids games.

I returned to the lair to find Mike playing a video game, "Been home long Mike?" I wondered.

"About an hour or so," He answered, as he focused totally on the game he was playing. "Before we left Christine said she was going talk to Leo and see if she could convince him to come down and visit us here. She thinks it will be good for him." He looked at the TV screen, "No don't you dare shoot me. Ha! Gotcha teach you!"

I snorted, "Good luck on that count. He doesn't want to be here. He doesn't want to fight and he sure as hell doesn't want us around him" I snapped, as I reminded Mike of Leo's present condition.

"Yeah, but Raph he trusts Christine," Mike insisted as his fingers flew deftly over the joystick to maneuveur his character through a massive shoot out.

"So, he trusts her. Big deal! You think that will change things for Leo?"

"Aw Raph it's only been a few days- give it a little more time before you decide it is hopeless. Leo, really doesn't seem to mind us visiting him."

"He only puts up with us, because he knows he can't get rid of us," I retorted. "How much more time are we to give him a day, a month a year…or how about Never! I don't think he wants to remember us Mike."

That got his attention he paused the game and turned his focus on me, "It's still Leo we are talking about Raph."

"Yes, and Leo has changed, he's not the same Mike. He's become…" I paused and took a deep breath "He has become someone we don't know. Maybe, Leo's right Mike he said it himself- I'm not who you want me to be and maybe I never was." I ranted and then grumbled irritated, "it's obvious to me, he doesn't want us in his life."

"We can't give up on Leo." Mike insisted, "This can't be any easier on him than it is on us, it's probably even harder for him because he doesn't remember. I think he is doing the best he can, Raph. Leo has always tried his best. " he pointed an accusatory finger at me, "You keep pushing him and pushing him to accept us …to learn about us and in reality you just might be pushing him away, have you ever thought of that?"

Mike took a deep breath from his rant, "Maybe, once he gets comfortable, and more familiar with us he would be willing to come down here. You can't expect too much all at once, you really are becoming like Leo. All this is strange to him too, you have to expect some resistance on his part."

"You don't get it do you Mike!"

"No, Raphael. You don't get it!" Mike retorted sharply, his eyes growing sharp and hard.

We glared at one another in silence, tension mounting between us waiting for either one or the other of us to give in some way, or something to give between us.

Mike took a deep breath, "This isn't about us as much as it's about Leo. We have to move at Leo's pace and accept whatever he is willing to give us. He does trust Christine, and luckily for us Christine- I think- is the only reason that Leo spends any time with us at all," Mike stated. "Leo is trapped inside of himself and he's going be trying to get out. We can't leave him like that Raph."

"Maybe he wants to be left like that Mike. I can't see him even trying to meet us somewhere along the line." I stated wearily, "I wanna believe that he will start to think of us as his brothers, as his family. But I just don't see it happening at the moment."

"Leo wouldn't forget us, and you can't think -even for one second- that I'm going to forget him. He is still our brother, and we can't leave him alone like this Raph. He wouldn't do it to us, I'm not going do it to him."

Suddenly the phone rang Mike grinned widely "That is probably Christine now," He sprang up from his seat and headed over to the phone.

I only heard the one sided version of the conversation between Mike and - possibly Christine- I didn't know if it was really, Christine on the other end or not.

"Yeah. Uh-huh. Hey, that's great." a pause, "I know, can you make it for dinner?" A few moments of silence and then, "Sure, no problem. Hmmm. We will send either Raph or Don to fetch you both….okay. Sounds good. Yeah see you then."

Mike said goodbye and hung up the receiver, he turned to me with the sort of smile one might find on a cat who just swallowed the canary.

"Yeah, I told you so," he gloated, unable to keep the last bit to himself, "She has the day off tomorrow. I'll make dinner, so you or Don have to go get them. He agreed to come down as long as she came with him and he didn't have to stay here with us, after." Mike replied. "Give Leo a couple hours, something here has to trigger his memory, and I plan on making Leo's favourite dessert."

I had my doubts about what Leo would recall or not. But I had to admit somehow Christine had been able to do what we hadn't. I heaved a sigh, "All right we'll give it a go. Maybe, it will be enough. I sure as hell hope you are right Mike, because we are running out of options where Leo is concerned."

I wasn't normally an optimistic fella, I left that to Mike. I was more a pessimistic type, and I was doing the best I could to hold onto the fact that at least Leo would be coming home, even if it was only for a visit.

Leo was being stubborn. He had almost as strong of a stubborn streak as I did.

Heck the first night we went to visit him, after we knew he was at Christine's he hadn't wanted to let us in. We had to practically threaten him to get him to let us off the balcony and into the apartment. We told him if he wanted us out, he'd have to personally throw us out and he'd have to get pretty physical with us to manage that.

Grudgingly, he had permitted us to stay. He wouldn't fight us, and if Christine hadn't smoothed things over afterwards, we'd probably still be at some sort of odd stale mate with him. But I do know, that he did accept our visits after that first visit. He was a reluctant host, yes, but he would permit us to come in and talk.

Heck, Christine usually left us to visit wit Leo without hovering or stepping in. She might make some tea or something but for the most part she stayed away from the rest of us, so she wasn't protective of him.

I took a deep breath, I wanted to hope for the best, with Leo coming down here but a part of me feared the worst as well.

TBC