Chapter X | Smiles I'll Never Get to See
"Hello! We need help in here!" John felt like he was screaming frantically, but his voice sounded funny in his head, like he was calm. But he knew he wasn't. His heart was going a mile a minute and it was starting to make his chest hurt.
Why is it taking them so long?
He didn't dare move in fear that Sherlock's convulsing would cause him harm. He couldn't stand that if he hurt himself more.
Finally the doctors and nurses came in, one of the female nurses pressed her hands to John's chest and pushed him away and towards the door. "John, you have to leave." The blond shook his head as he stepped backwards, eyes locked on the brunette. "No, please I'm a doctor, I'm his doctor. I can help."
The nurse just shook her head and pushed him out of the room, shutting the door in his face before going back to the bed to help.
John pressed his hands over his face and pushed them up through his hair. Usually it was calming, but watching through the windows as the brunette was hidden from view thanks to the mass of nurses and doctors, there was no way he could calm down.
He had to get away from the sight.
He literally couldn't keep watching it.
Walking down the hall, John stopped at the window and pressed his hand into his pocket for his phone.
He needed someone.
Any one.
He looked through the contacts on his phone and looked through the contacts. He hated to get her involved again, but he needed someone, and Mary said she would always come.
So he dialed her number.
"Hello?"
"Mary—" John could heard his voice cracking a little as he said her name. "It's— uh, it's Sherlock. He had a seizure and they pushed me out of the room, could you— oh hell. I hate asking you, but will you come please?"
The line was silent for a long time and John was sure she was going to tell him off or tell him no. But there was a soft shuffling noise of her getting up from where ever she had been sitting.
"Yes, I'll be there in ten minutes John."
John sighed and pressed his hand over his eyes when he realized that the tears were starting to fall from his eyes. He'd never been so relieved in his life. "Thank y-you." He mumbled to her, voice cracking as he spoke, hanging up before she could say anything else to him.
He didn't want her to hear him fall apart once again, all because of Sherlock.
The blond stood there for a long time before he felt like he was okay to move again. When he walked back towards the room, Mary was sitting here.
"Figured I'd give you a moment."
John smiled, giving her a nod of thanks. "I needed it. Have they said anything?" He moved to sit down next to her, grabbing her hand for support. "No, no one's come out or said anything to me. They're still working on him I think. How long has it been?" She asked as John looked down at his phone in his free hand.
"Close to an hour."
"Christ…"
They sat in silence for about twenty more minutes before the doctor stepped out of the room and looked over at them. "We got him stabilized. There's some sort of head trauma we missed I think. I want to go more tests, but later. We have to see how long he stays stable. Seizure during an MRI wouldn't be good."
John nodded in agreement and slowly stood. "Can I go back in?"
The older doctor nodded to him. "Keep an eye on him for more, hit the button."
The blond nodded and looked at Mary before going back into the room and sitting on the chair, hand going to Sherlock's. He held it and leaned down to kiss over it.
"Come back. Please. I can't lose you again."
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James looked around the room and moved back to the wall. He tapped it and small steps started to appear to help him make his way down. "Sherlock! Sherlock hang on!" He called as he slowly made his way down to the pit.
Sherlock stared at the back of his eyelids, watching the memories flash again, the same static as he had seen before. Going to movies with his brother, camping or just sitting at the . All the wonderful things they use to do together until he died. Sherlock never realized how alone he was until he met John.
John had given him that little spark back and it made him feel alive. Running through London like the idiots that they were. Laughing and joking.
"Welcome to London."
"That was most ridiculous thing I've ever done in my life."
"And you invaded Afghanistan."
The laughter echoed in his ears and he opened his eyes, seeing James above him, soothing his hair lightly. "Oh thank god. Come on Bumblebee, we have to get out of here."
"Jamie… I don't know if I can get up." He mumbled and looked up at his brother who frowned a little, nodding to him. "Okay… Okay." He looked around and shifted his position, wrapping his arms under Sherlock's to pull him into a sitting position and then to his feet. "There, we got this far, now I need you to be strong, even if it's hard, you have to try sweetie. I don't want you to die."
Sherlock nodded to his brother and sighed as he slowly walked over to the wall. Everything in the pit changed and they were now in the stairwell of the first case Sherlock and John had ever been on. Where they found the lady in pink. "What— What happened Sher?"
The brunette shook his head. "I keep thinking of John and more and more changes. I think— I think he's keeping me alive James." He mumbled and looked over at him. "I can't help it." The older brother did nothing but nod his head. "I really don't mind, easier than how I got down here." He laughed a little and pulled him up the stairs a little more.
Images were blurring together in Sherlock's head, playing like a movie as he and James climbed the stairs. The brunette stopped when a memory that flashed in front of them. He was with John and his hands wrapped around his head and with a quick turn of his wrists, there was a snap and John fell.
Sherlock fell to his knees and cried out, covering his mouth. "Oh god."
"Sherlock, Sherlock, don't believe it! The memories are getting jumbled from the seizure." James tried to convince him as he pulled at his arm trying to yank him to his feet again. "Please! Don't listen to it!"
"It's all a lie Sherlock, James is lying to you, you killed him. He dead and now here you are, trying to off yourself." Moriarty leaned in front of him, face to face with the brunette. "Just die."
James growled and grabbed Moriarty, tossing him over the edge before going back to his brother. "Bumblebee you listen to me. Listen," Sherlock's head was starting to fall again, as he started to slip from consciousness.
The older man grabbed his face and held it in his hands. "Listen! Don't you dare listen to him! You did not hurt John, you would never hurt John. Not ever. Don't believe it, you aren't a killer Sherlock."
The brunette looked up at his brother and slumped into his chest, weakly gripping at his shirt. "But I saw it…I felt his neck snapping in my hand."
"You felt it but it wasn't John… it was the guard. It wasn't John." He tried to make him realize. But Sherlock's body went limp against his body.
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The horrible drone of the flat line was enough for John to open his eyes. He looked at Sherlock and slowly up at the machine to see what it was doing. When it finally clicked that there was no constant beep of his pulse, John bolted up and hit the blue button. "Sherlock! Sherlock, don't—" He begged and shook him as the doctors and nurses started running in.
Mary wrapped her arms around him and tugged him away from the detective's bed so the doctors could get in. "No, no, no, no, Sherlock! Sherlock don't die!" The blond woman managed to pull him out the door and held him against her chest as they watched. But nothing was seeming to work. They did CPR, used the defib paddles on his chest to try and restart his heart, but suddenly they stopped. The doctor looked over at John and Mary and shook his head.
When the nurses cleared the room, John walked back in, letting Mary talk to the doctor. He sat on the edge of the bed and soothed back the dark curls. "You bastard. I just got you back… I just forgave you for what you did. If you don't come back I will never forgive you. Not ever. Do you hear me Sherl—"
The blond covered his eyes as he started to cry, unable to finish his name. "Please, don't go." He mumbled and lowered his head, one hand still petting the curls.
It was nothing but silence for a few moments before something shifted, a pale hand touched his leg and when he looked up, the aquamarine eyes were open and staring at him.
"John. I could never leave you."